


Untold scenes of Isak and his Even

by imissedyourskin



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Evak after the pool scene, Even after his mania, Even at the pre-game with the almost kiss, Even goes down on Isak, Evens first day of school, Evens week after the first kiss, Hotel Scene, Isak after the party with Sonja, Isak meeting Even's mom, Isak telling the squad, Isak the week after Evens mania, M/M, Realistic, SKAM, The shower sext, isak and eskild meet, not messing up timelines, post Christmas party, shower blowjob, the kitchen scene Evens pov, untold scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-09 21:46:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 111,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8914072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imissedyourskin/pseuds/imissedyourskin
Summary: Hi fellow skam trash!This fic is a collection of untold scenes that were hinted at, but never got turned into an actual scene.The scenes are my take on what happened. I do not claim this is how it really happened.Right now this fic jumps back and forth in time, due to whatever I get inspiration to write.Find the chronological order for this fic here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9471494/chapters/21427979Takk <3





	1. Fredag 22:14

**"Hi. It was nice seeing you as well. I don't know, but things might have been moved along a little too quickly..**   
**I know it's my fault, but I need time. I'm sorry."**

**Fredag 22:14**

-

 

_“I’m going to make a movie about you.”_

 A lie.

_“Can’t I just stay in here with you forever? – Can we do that?”_

Another lie.

_“You know that Sonja and I have been dating since we were like 15 or something, and I can tell we’re drifting further and further apart.”_

 Lies. Lies. Lies.

 Isak couldn’t believe he had been played. And how smoothly.

  _"I have told Sonja about you, and we have decided to take a break.”_

 Complete and utter bullshit.

 Even had played him and he knew it. He could still see it all, even with his eyes closed. Spotting Even at Emma’s party, the feeling was now bittersweet. How his heart had leaped against his ribs at first, happiness filling him for just a mere second before his eyes trailed to the girl beside him. Sonja.

 Motherfucker. Asshole. Isak closed his eyes and saw it again, Even’s smile bright to match Sonja’s and his lean-in as she dragged him down in a kiss. The way Even’s eyes shut as he kissed her again and- Isak had turned away without realising. At least his body had been smart enough to stop himself from watching.

 The feeling of betrayal was instant and it sparked a rage inside of him that flared beyond anything he had felt before. He shoved people as he tried to get away, one of them tripping over, which caused a loud crackling sound of breaking glass. He got cursed at, but all he could do was look behind him to see if it hadn’t caught Even’s attention. Please god, all Isak wanted was to walk away in shame without being noticed. And God had mercy on him that night.

He swiftly apologised before pushing further, needing air, needing space. Mostly just needing to be alone. His friends were waiting for him still, not aware of any of the shit that had been going on inside, and there was no way Isak could cover up his rage. He focused on pulling up his hood instead, trying to calm down enough for them not to get suspicious, “let’s get out of here.”

 A chorus of, “what?”’s rose from the group and before Isak could even explain himself, come up with a lie, Mahdi opened his mouth. “He’s going to a family get-together, just let him leave.” Isak froze for a second, but it felt like much longer. All that went through his head was the rage he felt towards Even, the betrayal. He had fucked over his friends for a guy who had played him. He had explored parts of himself he had wanted to stay hidden, but couldn’t when he was around Even. The fact that Even had played him so easily scared the fuck out of him. Would he tell everyone, that Isak was into guys? Would he laugh at Isak’s silly comments, his parallel universe theory? Tell his friends that Isak was so easy, so fucking easy? Would it all come falling down?

 He couldn’t take it anymore. He could feel the pain in every part of his body, the anger that overpowered it now bursting out. And his body turned around just like before, eyes setting on Mahdi and he shoved him back as hard as he could.

 Mahdi didn’t fight back, he was staring at Isak in shock, as if he didn’t recognise him. And Isak didn’t recognise himself either. “Do you have to be so rude?” He spat, instantly regretting it. Isak gave another push, but Mahdi still didn’t fight back. Instead Jonas stepped in, “Hey! What the fuck is up with you?” He was frowning, genuinely worried and maybe a little angry too, “what’s happening?”

 Isak could feel the guilt rising instantly, tears too close to the surface now. He tried to shake his head as he turned, unable to explain himself, and fled. He fled, rushing down the sidewalk. He wanted to scream, fight more, he wanted to cry. There wasn’t anyone to scream at, fight with, and cry for. So he walked around like a madman, feeling heartbreak over someone who probably didn’t care. He screamed into the quiet of the night, ripping leaves from their branches, kicking against the wheels of a car. All it did was make the tears come out as pain seemed to consume his heart. And when it did he fell to his knees, the landing causing him to bite his tongue, and cried.

 He sat there until his knees were as cold as the tears on his cheeks and he felt exhausted, drained from everything. The anger had seeped away slowly and now all that was left were the embarrassment and pain he felt. The guilt towards his friends. He pushed himself up, hearing laughter in the distance as people made their way home from the party. Fuck their happiness, fuck Even’s happiness. Fuck it all.

 Unlocking the door took a minute with the way his hands were shaking, but eventually he managed. He looked for shoes, but only found Linn's, which he was thankful for. He closed the door, took off his own shoes and hung up his coat like he always did. Like he didn’t feel like an entirely different person than he had done before he had left. His throat was dry and he stopped in the kitchen for a glass of water. The memories of Even lingered there and it was picking between thinking of lies and thinking of reality at this point, and neither were good. Either he chose to keep his eyes open and thought about the way they had almost kissed right there at the sink, or he closed his eyes and remembered the betrayal he had just seen. Both hurt him.

 He downed the water and got out of there as soon as he could, but getting to his bedroom wasn’t any different. He shouldn’t have let Even in so easily, because now he was everywhere and Isak couldn’t escape him. He wiped his cheeks to get them dry as he walked to the bed and fell down, head first into a pillow. He curled up on his side and wrapped himself into the blanket, not even bothering to get undressed. He felt exhausted and closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep and forget about this all, but God was doing being merciful.

 Even, so beautiful and kind, holding him closely to his chest as they talked about life. Even, laughing and pressing kisses to his head while playing with his hair. Even, softly humming along to the tune of ‘The World is Your’ by Nas. Even, kissing him. Even.

 His smell brought fresh tears to his eyes as more memories were drained of happiness, of love and trust. Isak buried his nose further into the pillow as he let it all happen. He squeezed his eyelids shut a little tighter, not wanting to cry again, not wanting to be weak.

 Had he done something wrong? Had he said something to make Even back off? He didn’t understand how Even could be with him, saying all those things to him, only to go back to Sonja straight after. Was he not enough? Was he something to play with on the side? Had he just misinterpreted and was Even not looking for a relationship with him? No matter what he thought could be the cause, it didn’t make sense to him.

 He sat up abruptly, the anger back in his veins, and grabbed the pillow tightly. He wanted to tear it to pieces, to put up a picture of Even’s face and throw the pillow at it as hard as he could. God, did he want to smash something. Instead he started changing the sheets. The pillowcase, the covers, everything. He stripped down his bed and threw the dirty sheets in a pile in the far corner. He kicked off his shoes and crawled into his bare bed. Even’s presence was no longer there, the pain slowly fading away again as he sunk into restless sleep.

 In the morning he would deal with the demons left behind, he would deal with his broken heart. He would deal with the lies and the bullshit. Maybe in the morning he could deal with Even.


	2. Mandag 12:12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laughter at a table nearby pulled him from his thoughts. A boy stood bent over one of his friends, a friend whose face was now covered in something that looked like whipped cream. In his clean hand the boy held a red snapback, which obviously used to sit on his friend’s head. The boy’s dark curls boy were frizzed now they were no longer covered. “Hah! That’s what you get for stealing my hat, Jonas,” He laughed and he flopped down in the seat next to Jonas. He smeared his hand on one of the tissues that another blonde guy handed him. His smile however, was still as radiant.
> 
> \--  
> Or, when Even saw Isak on the first day of school

Mandag 12:12

 

 

“How was your first morning? I already miss having you here during my lunch break <3” Even read the text twice. Sonja had been texting him all morning, wanting to know if he was okay, it was even more annoying than his mother’s texts. At least those stopped once Even had replied.

 To be honest he was actually quite happy he wasn’t at Sonja’s workplace for lunch. He needed some time and some space from his old life. His last manic episode had been the worst so far and it had shaken him awake in such a way he had started to doubt all he knew about himself. He hadn’t been himself then and it had made that the never-ending self-doubt had reached a level that Even was still unable to cope with. Did he really like drawing and listening to music? Did he really love Sonja? Were his friends really his friends? Nothing he had thought to be reality was definite anymore, which meant Even had a lot of self-discovering to do. Switching schools had been the fresh start he had needed to take that step.

 Having been pulled out of a windowsill, almost having jumped, it had really unnerved Even. He didn’t remember much of that day apart from his mother’s sobbing after she had found him. Her broken heart had been a shock to his system once again. He wished it had been the first time he had seen her like that, but it wasn’t. Still, the way her fingers had trembled as they were wrapped around Even’s wrist while she tugged him back down to earth, he had known instantly that this was somehow worse. Apparently he had swung his legs out of the window in his room and had screamed he was Jesus. He had said he could fly and that he would use that skill to better the world. If his mother hadn’t been there to save him, maybe he would be six feet under right now. He had never meant to jump and kill himself. It had been his mania, not depression, that had led him there. Even felt that if his disorder could make him believe he was Jesus, it could make him believe anything.

 “It’s fine. School’s nice, nothing important happening” he texted back, knowing that if he didn’t his phone would ring in a few minutes. He put his phone away despite the buzz that signalled another text message and took the sandwich he had paid for. He carried his lunch to a table a bit further in the back. Not too far though, because he didn’t want people to think he was a loner. After all he was here to create a new Even, not to hide away.

 His eyes roamed over all the people that passed him, the ones in line for the checkout, the ones seated at tables near his. Apart from the first years everyone seemed to have found their clique, greeting old friends from last year. He saw a few classmates, but he wasn’t exactly sure yet if they were people he could see as his friends.

 The sandwich wasn’t bad, but it sure didn’t taste like it was worth the money he paid for it. He made a mental note to bring his own food next time. His phone buzzed again and he sighed, maybe today wasn’t as fine as he made it out to be. It still sucked being new and not knowing anyone. When his English teacher asked the class to make pairs, he was the only one left by himself. And when-

 Laughter at a table nearby pulled him from his thoughts. A boy stood bent over one of his friends, a friend whose face was now covered in something that looked like whipped cream. In his clean hand the boy held a red snapback, which obviously used to sit on his friend’s head. The boy’s dark curls boy were frizzed now they were no longer covered. “Hah! That’s what you get for stealing my hat, Jonas,” He laughed and he flopped down in the seat next to Jonas. He smeared his hand on one of the tissues that another blonde guy handed him. His smile however, was still as radiant.

 

_Did my heart love till now?_

_Forswear it, sight,_

_For I ne’er saw true beauty_

_Till this night_

_  
_ Even’s ears were soaring and somehow it was hard to breathe. He blinked and took a deep breath, focusing on the inhale in the hope to stop the dizzying feeling he had. The boy’s smile faded slightly, but his eyes still sparkled. He brought up a hand to fix the snapback on his own head, his own light blonde curls peeping out from underneath the brim. His tongue licked away some of the cream that had reached his upper lip while his hand moved down from the snapback to wipe at his cheek.

 Even had never in his life seen anyone this beautiful. He averted his eyes to his sandwich, which was an absolute shit view in comparison to the face he had just been staring at, and got lost in thought. Was this his mania? That didn’t make sense though, but neither possibility made sense. The most beautiful person he had ever seen in his life. Was this what love at first sight was like? He had always thought that Shakespeare just used that trope to speed up the storyline, but maybe it was actually a real thing. Could it be?

 Even looked up again, now seeing the boy eating a cheese toastie open mouthed, still talking to his friends. He didn’t understand the feeling in his stomach, the way he felt some form of happiness and shyness all swirling together. The boy laughed again as they all realised Jonas still had some cream on his face and Even couldn’t look any longer.

 

_Arise, fair sun, and kill the_

_Envious moon,_

_Who is already sick and pale_

_With grief_

_That thou her maid art far_

_More fair than she._

_  
_ “Fuck, Isak,” He heard and he looked up to see Jonas addressing the boy. Isak. So that was his name? Isak.

 “Sorry, dude, but you really deserved it. You stole my hat and took it with you on holiday for four weeks. You deserved a sour-shower,” Isak replied and the two other guys laughed at that. “The sour-shower? Seriously?” One of them asked, raising his eyebrows. Isak seemed quite content with himself, “isn’t it smart? You should all bow to me, I’m the best at puns. You all suck dick at it, which could explain why Jonas now looks like someone got off on his face.”

 Even smiled softly, looking at a point on his table while still listening to their conversation. “Ah, Isak, Jesus,” Jonas groaned audibly and another guy laughed dryly, “you do look like someone came all over your face, dude.”

 Jonas’s chair screeched as he pushed it back and Even looked up to see if the rest would follow. Isak shrugged his shoulders at the others, but his face showed the guilt. “I’ll follow him, I’ll see you in class, okay?” He picked up his backpack and swung it over one shoulder, pulling the collar of his hoodie free as he kicked back his chair. He smiled once more, eyes moving up in Even’s direction and Even quickly ducked his head, not wanting to get caught staring. When he finally dared to look up again all he saw was Isak’s back as he walked away.

 

_Good night! Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,_

_That I shall say good night till it be morrow._

 

In Biology he caught himself writing Isak’s name in the corner of his notebook and he contemplated scratching it, but he couldn’t. He may not understand what Isak did to him, what caused him to write down the boy’s name, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the feeling he got when he saw Isak. Not just that first day in the cafeteria, but every day after that too. Every time he saw him in the hallway, in a classroom as Even made his way to the next lesson.

 Every time he saw Isak his heart made a tiny jump as if to say ‘look, it’s Isak’. And that happiness was something he held dearly. He looked forward to it every day, always searching the room for Isak, longing for that jump inside his chest like an addict longing for a fix. And it grew, not the feeling, but the longing. From longing for the feeling of just seeing Isak to longing for eye contact, to a hello, a conversation. He longed for friendship, hanging out with him, hearing him laugh and _making_ him laugh. He longed for a perfect first kiss, for Isak’s heart to yearn for the same as him, to feel the same as him. He longed for it so much it made his heart explode with fear.

 In a way Isak was complicating his search for himself, because Even had desperately hoped to find his imagined reality to be the truth. He had wanted to realise that yes, he did like drawing and listening to music. That, yes, he was in love with Sonja. Isak wasn’t Sonja though, and so his imagined reality appeared to be (partly) incorrect. It made him nervous, but the longing didn’t go away. It wouldn’t leave him alone, and so there was only really one thing left for Even to do. Only one solution that made sense to his worried heart.

 Win Isak over the way Isak had won him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so overwhelmed by how many hits/kudos this already has.  
> Yet I haven't received any requests!  
> If there is a scene you would want to read (and/or something you want to see happen in that scene) please leave a comment so I can try write it for you!


	3. Fredag 21:21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even picked up the bike they had left on the driveway and looked up at Isak to see if he was there already. He was smiling so brightly it made Isak almost tumble over, but Even reached out to catch him and pulled him in, pressing a swift kiss to Isak's lips. Even’s white long beard tickled his neck. Once Even was sure he had balanced him, he turned and got on the bike, "jump on," he said before he started paddling. 
> 
> \---
> 
> Or, the one after the first kiss.

**Fredag 21:21**

_"What time is it?"_

_-"21:21"_

_"For real?"_

_-"Yeah, what about it?"_

_"Let's get out of here."_

_-"Uh, where to?"_

_"Anywhere."_

\---

 

"Go, go, go," Even said as he sprinted down the lawn. Isak was running after him, one shoe on and the other one in his hand. Even was ahead of him, long legs carrying him faster than Isak's could. He was already out of breath, his clothes much heavier now they were wet, but he was laughing nonetheless. His breath created puffs of smoke in the cold, dry air, but he sprinted further, leaving them all behind him. 

Even picked up the bike they had left on the driveway and looked up at Isak to see if he was there already. He was smiling so brightly it made Isak almost tumble over, but Even reached out to catch him and pulled him in, pressing a swift kiss to Isak's lips. Even’s white long beard tickled his neck. Once Even was sure he had balanced him, he turned and got on the bike, "jump on," he said before he started paddling. 

Isak heard someone screaming, "hey! You there, stop!" they yelled loudly, but Isak jumped and Even swayed from left to right until Isak was seated. Even wasn't that fast with Isak's weight on the back of the bike, but he stood up on the pedals and went as fast as he could. They managed to get away from the house without getting in trouble. 

"What the fuck," Isak said, still shell-shocked, as he wrapped his arms around Even's waist, "now I'm freezing. We are so going to get pneumonia." Even laughed a little quieter now, their erratic breathing filling the air instead, and Isak closed his eyes and focused on the heat radiating from Even's back. He could finally take it all in, what had happened in the pool. The kiss.

His lips felt a little puffy and he bit down on a smile which he pressed against Even's back. His cheek stuck to Even's wet t-shirt, but it was all okay. "What?" Even asked without moving or stopping the bike. "Nothing," Isak mumbled, not knowing how to reply anyway. 

Even kept quiet, but he stopped cycling after a minute, turning halfway around to look at Isak, "do you think Sonja and Emma are still at your place?" He asked. Isak looked at Even's face, trying to read into the question, but he couldn't really find anything, "I don't know. I could call Eskild?" He suggested. Even nodded at that.

Isak got his phone out of his damp jeans, hoping this little adventure didn't mean he would have to buy a new phone. It still worked, thankfully, and Isak dialled Eskild's number. 

"Hallaaaaaaaa," a slurred voice came from the other side and Isak sighed, "Eskild? Are you drunk?" "Of course, it's Fridaaaay, what do you think?" Eskild giggled and Isak heard some guy in the background trying to get Eskild's attention. "Look, Eskild? Eskild? I was just wondering, before you left, did you see Sonja and Emma leave?" Isak asked, hearing Eskild mumble to someone else. "What?" Eskild asked, sounding a little annoyed and Isak sighed "Sonja and Emma, did they leave?" 

Eskild drew out the longest 'oh' sound Isak had ever heard and then he added, "don't know." Isak looked at Even's questioning eyes and he rolled his own, "kay Eskild, of course. Enjoy the party." He hung up before Eskild had even managed to reply to him. 

"He doesn't know," Isak told Even, who nodded. Even's eyes seemed to search his face for something before he settled, "I think Sonja would definitely go to my place to check if I'm there, so let's go back to yours?" He suggested.

Isak had to let this sink in. Even wanted to stay with him. He didn't want to just drop Isak off and go his own way, pretend nothing had happened. He wanted to stay and for a second Isak was freaking out. Even wanted to stay, but why? Did he expect more? More than Isak was ready to give? What did he have to tell Even then, and should he bring that up now or- no. 'Stop freaking out, Isak' he thought to himself. 

"Okay," he replied, managing to sound quite unfazed. Even smiled at him, that bright smile that made Isak all weak in the knees, and he repeated, "okay."

Even hopped back onto the bike and waited for Isak to take a seat this time. Isak wrapped his arms around Even's waist again, but he didn't press any closer. The wind was cold and Isak's fingers were freezing, but thankfully it didn't take long for them to get to the apartment. Isak let them in and Even followed him up the stairs. The irregular tapping of their shoes against the stairs were the only sounds filling the air and Isak listened to them instead of the thoughts that were wandering around in his head. 

They were greeted by silence once they walked into the apartment and Isak couldn't help but feel himself relax in relief. The tension from his shoulders disappeared and he walked down the hallway, "come with me." He made his way to the bathroom and got them both a towel. Isak quickly rubbed his head with it so his hair wouldn't drip anymore and then he cleared his throat, "stay here, I'll get you dry clothes." "Alright, boss," Even replied with a chuckle, staying where he was while rubbing his face with the towel. His hair already looked ridiculous and Isak had to force himself to walk away before he let himself touch it. 

He walked to his room and grabbed one of his shirts and a hoodie before fishing one of Eskild's sweats from the dryer. Then he returned to Even, who was now shirtless. "Ehm," Isak stuttered, "you can leave your wet clothes over the shower curtains so they can dry. I'll be in my room, you know how to find it, yeah?" He waited for Even to nod before he escaped from the bathroom, quickly getting back to his room so he could change into something warmer too. He rushed to get changed so he could grab some dirty clothes from his bed and make his room look at least a little presentable. 

He was just putting the gaming console away when the door open and Even peeked inside. When he saw Isak he opened the door further and another warm smile appeared on his face. The way Even smiled at him was still so new to Isak. 

He straightened himself and cleared his throat, "better now?" He asked. Even nodded and walked up to him slowly, testing the waters, and Isak responded by turning to him and meeting him in the middle. Their first kiss had been erratic, desperate, but this one was different. Even's hand caressed his cheek and tipped Isak's chin up slightly as he kissed him. It made Isak shiver all over. He hadn't expected Even to walk in here and be sweet, soft and kind, but here he was surprising Isak once again. 

Even started moving and Isak almost stumbled backwards, but Even's hand was pressed safely against his back, guiding him along. Isak's legs hit the bed and he fell back on it as Even moved down with him, always near to him. Even gave him a few seconds to climb up further on the bed, but that didn't mean he stopped kissing him. It was better that way, because Isak had more leverage. He pulled Even's face up from his neck and kissed his lips again, embarrassed to notice he was feeling desperate again. There was no point in denying it though, because Even responded in a way that matched his. They kissed until their lips felt bruised and only then did they break apart, just slightly. 

Even fell down next to Isak and pulled him into an embrace, Isak's nose now pressing against Even's (Isak's) shirt. Isak wrapped an arm around Even's waist, clinging onto him tightly. It was then that the questions arose. The 'what is this?' and 'what is next?', but Isak didn't want to ask them out loud. He was afraid of the answers to those questions, and not necessarily because Sonja was an issue. No, the thing he truly feared most wasn't Even breaking this off, it was Even wanting him more. It felt silly to be scared of such a thing, after all he was curled up with Even right now and didn't feel anything but happiness when he was around him. There was obvious chemistry that Isak hadn't been able to ignore. However, this was all new territory for him, a part of himself he had never allowed to see the light and now that he had it scared him shitless. What if he _was_ gay? Would he be able to accept himself for who he was? Would others? 

He tried to push the thoughts away, focusing on Even instead, who was now drawing circles on his back. He tipped his head back so he could see his face, seeing Even lost in thought, staring at a point somewhere behind Isak's head. "What?" Isak asked, nervousness seeping into him with every second that passed where Even didn't acknowledge him. 

Finally Even looked down, into Isak's eyes, and smiled, "nothing, just thinking of your face when I first kissed you." Somehow it didn't feel genuine, but Isak realised it probably wasn't his place to ask any questions now. If Even was thinking about what to tell Sonja then he didn't want to involve himself in that. It was all up to Even. Still Isak smiled back, "really now? You're really that sappy?" Even cocked an eyebrow and his smile turned into a cheeky grin, "I am when it comes to you." 

Isak didn't know how to respond to that so he simply chuckled and pinched Even's arm, who then pulled away. "No," Isak said carelessly, the word slipping out, but Even sat up nonetheless. He laughed though, filling the room with the sound, "Isak, it's 1 o'clock in the morning. I need to go home." "No you don't," Isak argued, sounding disappointed to his own ears. Even turned back to look at Isak before leaning over to press another kiss to his lips, "I'll come back tomorrow. I have the excuse of my clothes still being here and I'll have to return your clothes too." It sounded like he had already thought this through. 

Isak watched Even fix his clothes and clear his throat. "Will you come wave me off?" He asked as he stood next to Isak's bed, holding out his hand. Isak took it, letting himself be pulled up and he didn't let go once he was standing next to Even. They walked to the front door with their hands still linked and Isak only let go so Even could put on his shoes. Once he was done Isak expected Even to open the door and leave, but he didn't. He pressed Isak to the wall, hands next to Isak's head, and kissed him again. And fuck it, Isak didn't want him to go. He really didn't. He wanted to stay there with their lips sealed, their hearts beating in sync. He wanted every damn cliché to become reality. 

But Even pulled away again, always teasing him enough to want more. "Good night," Even whispered with their foreheads still pressed together. "Good night," Isak whispered in return. Even opened the front door, stepped out and after another dashing smile, he faded into the darkness of the hallway. 

\---

Isak told himself he wasn't falling in love with Even. He told himself in the hallway when he said 'good night' to Even and he told himself when he opened the door again at 14:19 the day after, seeing Even there in the same outfit he had worn when he had left. He told himself again when Even kissed him until he was sleepy and content and once again when Even pulled him against him and lay there with him, playing with his hair, talking mindlessly, for hours. 

Truth was that Isak knew he was falling, he was just too unsure if Even would catch him. Too unsure of if Even thought he was worth the break with Sonja, and so he told himself a lie. Though he was well aware that one day soon the truth would come out and either it would lead to heaven or it would lead to hell.

Even handed him a joint and Isak took it, laughing at the joke Even had just made. He turned his head to Even's and let himself be kissed. It honestly felt like heaven when he was with Even. He started laughing when he realised that it rhymed, which caused Even to laugh with him and he hid his face into the blanket to stop himself. 

Oh, Isak was falling, and he didn't want to stop it if he could. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave more requests in the comments if you have any!  
> There's a few important scenes I will definitely get around to, but they will need a bit more time, so any short ideas are welcome!!
> 
> Takk


	4. Mandag 12:09

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you guys have sex?” “Did he sleep over?” “Are you dating now, please tell me you’re dating because I swear I will hurt him if he-“ “will he be hanging out with us anytime soon?” “seriously, I will hurt him Isak, he needs to-“ “Are boys better than girls?” “that girlfriend needs to become an ex girlfriend.”
> 
> \---
> 
> Or, the one where the squad demands answers

**Mandag 12:09**

So, walking up to his friends on Monday wasn’t as easy as he had thought it would be. He just knew that they were going to say shit about the stunt he pulled on Friday. You don’t send your friends away to get down with a boy without getting away with it, he knew that much. And he couldn’t go around avoiding them, he didn’t want to be that much of an asshole.

“Hi guys,” He said as he reached their table during break and he flopped down on a seat without really looking at his friends. “Ah, look, our Romeo has arrived,” Magnus said. Of course it was Magnus. Isak got out his lunch and didn’t really comment on the words.

He found a piece of paper between his lunchbox and the band that held it together and he frowned. The boys had gone silent as they watched Isak and waited for him to say something. Isak however kept his eyes on the small paper. He got it out from underneath the band and opened it before shutting it again just as quickly, feeling a blush rise on his cheeks. He finally looked up and the boys were all staring curiously, “so, what is it?”

Isak cleared his throat, “just uh, a message from Even,” he muttered and when they continued to look at him with questioning eyes he added, “that is not for you to read.” Magnus was the first to make a groaning sound and he threw up his hands in the air, “seriously, dude, why won’t you share with us?”

Isak put the note in his pocket and shrugged, “because it’s awkward. Like, you guys all like girls why would you want to hear me talk about Even?” He hummed and Jonas cocked one of his eyebrows, which looked a little ridiculous, “because we’re your friends and we care?” he suggested. Isak pouted his lips as he thought of that and then he scrunched his nose, “but still, it’s just- awkward.”

“Oh come on, you’re not even going to tell us if it was worth it kicking us out of your apartment without our shoes on?” Mahdi demanded and Isak snorted before he could stop himself, “okay fine. Yes, yes it was definitely worth kicking you out for.” The boys stared at each other and then a whole wave of new questions came over him.

“Did you guys have sex?” “Did he sleep over?” “Are you dating now, please tell me you’re dating because I swear I will hurt him if he-“ “will he be hanging out with us anytime soon?” “seriously, I will hurt him Isak, he needs to-“ “Are boys better than girls?” “that girlfriend needs to become an ex girlfriend.”

Isak pressed his hands to his ears and the questions stopped after a matter of seconds. Magnus looked pissed off that Isak was being so damn secretive, Jonas mostly looked worried and Mahdi found all of this hilarious judging by the grin on his face. “You all need to stop for a second,” Isak ordered before he dropped his hands again. He sighed and stared at his lunchbox. He would so regret this. “One at a time, please, and I’m not answering any inappropriate questions.”

“Okay, did-,” Magnus started, but Jonas stopped him, “are you two together?” Isak licked his lips and looked away from Jonas, “Eh, I don’t know. We didn’t discuss it, but I told him I was serious about what I said in the text so I’m assuming that if he hasn’t broken up with her yet, he will soon. He said though, on Saturday morning, he said Sonja and him were no longer together, so.”

“Bet you were too busy to discuss it, yeah,” Mahdi said and Isak glared at him, “seriously, I’ll stop answering if you don’t stop.” Mahdi shut up instantly, but Magnus sat up straighter and opened his mouth, “but really, just a question and totally not meant to be a joke.. Did you have sex?” He sounded as serious as he had done that night before he had kicked them out, where he asked Isak about how gay sex worked.

Isak looked back at the table where he was playing with his hands, “well, not exactly.” “So a handjob?” Magnus continued and Mahdi snorted. Jonas just let out a surprised sound and Isak wanted a hole to swallow him completely, “not. Not exactly.”

Magnus got the biggest grin on his face “So you went down on each other. Holy shit, Isak sucked dick.” “Say it a little louder could you?” Jonas hissed and he kicked Magnus underneath the table. Isak kept his mouth shut, feeling like it was getting way too personal now. He didn’t want to share and make light of what had happened between him and Even. It wasn’t meant to ridicule or brag about with his friends, it was private. “Okay, that’s it. No more sex questions.”

“Alright, no more sex questions. For now,” Magnus promised, but he grinned at the others. Mahdi was the one who spoke up now, “alright, when are we allowed to finally meet him then?” Isak clicked his tongue, “I don’t know. I guess when I feel like we’re on solid ground. Right now we’ll have to see if he was serious about breaking up with his girlfriend.”

Jonas nodded at his words, “okay. I’m one hundred percent serious about messing him up if he’s playing you though. I will fight him if he hurts you.” “Yeah man,” Magnus piped in and even Mahdi was nodding, “yeah we’ve got your back.”

“Thanks, guys. I- shit man I don’t want to turn this into something emotional and gay and stuff, but it means a lot to me that you just accepted me for who I am. That’s really cool of you. I was kind of scared to tell you, which was why I used stupid excuses about my family and stuff, but yeah. You could have all dropped me as a friend, but you didn’t.” Isak felt like it had to be said, because even though this conversation was awkward, his friends had his back. He knew there were plenty of people out there who had come out to their family and friends and had lost their support. Isak had been lucky.

“Of course, we don’t care who you fall in love with, we just care that you’re happy, right guys?” Jonas spoke up and the guys hummed to show they agreed. Isak swore he was going to cry thanks to these assholes, but he was saved by the sound of his phone. He had a new text message.

 

 

 

“Speaking of Even,” He started, a smile now on his lips, “he’s waiting for me.” Isak put his luchbox back in his bag and he apologised as he got up, “are we still getting kebab after school?” He asked them. “Yeah, but I’ll see you in Maths,” Jonas reminded him and Isak knew he meant that there would be more questions then. He didn’t feel like arguing so he nodded and waved them goodbye before he sprinted towards the bathroom.

Even was leaning against a stall door, a smug smile on his face as he watched Isak walk in, “hi.” Isak stopped a few steps away from him, taking in how stunning he looked. The words he had blurted out on Saturday came back to him. _When you’ve found the man of your life and it turns out he likes Gabrielle._ “Hi,” Isak replied.

Even didn’t wait much longer and stepped closer to him, “did you get my note?” He asked and Isak blushed again, his words coming out in a stutter, “yes I did, and I read it while I was sitting with the guys. You’re such an idiot, they could have stolen it and read it too.” Even shrugged at that, “let them. It’s no secret that I like you.”

Isak was about to make a comment about how he hadn’t come out to anyone but the guys yet, but Even kissed him and dragged him into a stall with him and no more words were said. Isak thought back to the note and kissed Even harder, no words needed to be said anyway.

 

_You taste like heaven_

_and smell like home_

_You love like the devil,_

_Make me beg for the unknown_

_Turn your vices into sins_

_Love because love wins_

_And I’ll kiss you a thousand times_

_And even get on my knees for you sometimes_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so thankful for all your kudos and kind comments. You give me life!  
> Also, an update on what I'm doing now:  
> \- Wrote a scene to follow episode 10, but that one will be posted either Saturday (christmas eve) or Sunday  
> \- Will be writing the important scene following the end of episode 9 during my Christmas break, but I don't know when I'll post that.  
> \- Any other suggestions are welcome!!!!


	5. Mandag 13:39 (post chap.4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak was tapping his pen against his notebook, staring at the teacher without actually listening to what she was saying. Something about genetics and reproduction. He was thinking about Even and he couldn’t wait to finally get out and see him again. They had been together most of their spare time, playing games and listening to music, talking about pointless things, about meaningful things and kissing. Lots of kissing.
> 
> \---  
> Or, the one with the sext (and a follow up to chapter 4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me more suggestions!  
> Hooray, today my Christmas break started and I can't wait to spend it writing fic. So, basically give me prompts.  
> Doesn't matter what, it could even be something that you hoped/expected to happen in tonight's episode!  
> Things on my list are:  
> \- post-christmas party  
> \- post- du er ikke alene  
> \- meeting Even's parents  
> \- some tiny really short scenes or moments put together

_Note: read chapter 4 before this (in case you haven't yet)_

 

**Mandag 13:39**

Isak was tapping his pen against his notebook, staring at the teacher without actually listening to what she was saying. Something about genetics and reproduction. He was thinking about Even and he couldn’t wait to finally get out and see him again. They had been together most of their spare time, playing games and listening to music, talking about pointless things, about meaningful things and kissing. Lots of kissing.

 Isak smiled and hid his mouth against the inside of his palm, bringing down the pen to let it swirl the letters of Even’s name. He scribbled it down in the corner of the paper, tiny at first, but he got more daring and kept challenging himself to write bigger. He was aware Sana was sitting next to him, but he didn’t really care. She was probably aware of them being a thing anyway. She was smart like that.

 Isak could still feel Even’s lips on his from their time together during the break. It had been a strange day so far and he doubted he would be able to concentrate at all. He wondered if it was the same for Even, if he was in a different classroom now thinking about Isak and being a stupid lovesick puppy, writing his name in his notebook. Probably not, if at all, Even would be drawing them. Or writing poems apparently.

 He felt embarrassed as he thought back to the note he had found during the break, the words Even so intimately wrote for him. He tried not to think about it, scared anyone looking at him could just see what was going through his head. _And even get on my knees for you sometimes._

 God, Isak really couldn’t focus. Every time he tried to listen to what the teacher was saying his thoughts would trail to Even after a matter of seconds. But then Sana nudged him and he looked at her, “Isak, why aren’t you working yet?” She leaned in and whispered, “you’ll get detention if you don’t finish it.”

 “Oh,” Isak stuttered and he leaned closer, “what do we have to do?” Sana rolled her eyes, “you’re really lost in thought, aren’t you? We have to create our own family tree. As in, you need to choose a partner, either someone you’re dating or just someone you idolize or whatever, and predict what your babies would look like. Like eye colour and hair colour and stuff.”

 Isak wished he had paid more attention, at least then he’d know more about how to do it. He opened his book and started reading about dominance in traits and how he could calculate likeability. Then he wrote his own name on one side of the paper and doubted for a second before putting Even’s on the other side. He filled in all the information he needed, feeling a little weird for doing this with Even’s name next to his, because it wasn’t as if it would ever be a possibility, whether they stayed together or not.

 His eyes were green, Even’s blue. They were so blue and Isak almost got lost in thought again thinking of the perfect colour to name them. It didn’t matter much though, because no matter what type of blue it was, their child would get it. Their hair colour was quite similar, which meant it was most likely their child would get the same.

 Their child would most likely not get the same dimple in their chin that Isak had, which he felt grateful for, and it was most likely their child would get as tall as Even. They would get Even’s lips, which meant that at least their kid would be born a great-kisser.

 He was actually having fun with this, wanting to find out more, when the teacher called for them to clear up because class was about to end. Isak put his notebook away and saw Sana holding in a grin, her lips pursed in a tiny smile. Oh, she knew.

 The bell rang and Isak sighed as he got up. Only two hours left though, first off maths with Jonas and then Geography. He dreaded seeing his best friend and so he lingered in the hallway until he was late. Jonas looked amused, as if he knew exactly what Isak had been up to. “You can’t hide forever,” He laughed as Isak sat next to him. “Who, me? Who says I was trying to hide?” He gasped in surprise, but Jonas saw right through him. He was so bad at lying.

 "Alright, fine, I’m here alright?” He sighed and kept his eyes on his bag as he got out his books, “are you firing more questions at me?” Jonas was quiet for a moment, but then he hummed, “no, only one.” He didn’t ask it straight away though, instead he waited for Isak to look up at him. “Does he make you happy?”

 Isak was surprised by the question and he raised his eyebrows, “did you really think I would have risked losing my friendship with you guys if I wasn’t happy?” he asked and Jonas nodded, “okay. Okay, good. I was just checking. Then I’m happy for you too.” Jonas bumped his shoulder and smiled and Isak felt much lighter.

 Maths was as boring as ever, but Jonas kept making jokes under his breath until Isak was laughing so loudly that he had to sit in the front of the classroom. Without the distraction of Jonas next to him his thoughts trailed again. They trailed to a point that scared Isak, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

 He saw Even walking down the street next to him, a small girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, with a smile as enchanting as her father’s, seated on his shoulders. If he just closed his eyes it was so vivid, the way Even held her small hands and he smiled so big as she called out, “daddy, daddy look!” They were all dressed in winter coats and scarves, doing some Christmas shopping, but their daughter had gotten tired of walking so much. And of course Even had offered to carry her.

 “Mister Valtersen!” Their teacher’s booming voice sounded and Isak opened his eyes again, realising he had dozed off. “First you can’t seem to shut up together with mister Vasquez and now you’re sleeping through my lecture.” “I’m sorry, sir. I just- I didn’t sleep much, I’m sorry,” he apologised. His words caused Jonas to make a sound and Isak just knew he was making fun of him and would tell the guys about this later. His teacher backed off though, giving him a last warning, and Isak decided to pay attention the rest of the lesson so he wouldn’t get in trouble.

 

\--

 

Isak’s phone rang during the break before his last lesson and he leaned against the wall as he opened it. It was Even, of course, and Isak smiled as he read the words.

  

“Let me guess, Even?” Jonas asked from his spot next to Isak and Isak nodded absentmindedly as he typed a reply.

 

“Is he being sweet and romantic again like he obviously was with that note earlier today?” Jonas went on just as Isak’s phone buzzed again. Twice.

  

 “Eh,” Isak stuttered, “something like that.” He bit his lip and looked at his friends. Would they forgive him if he ditched them again?

“Guys? Ehm, Even is asking me if I want to hang after school, would you- would you mind if I didn’t join you for kebab?” he dared to ask them. The three of them looked at each other and then Magnus whistled, “oh boys, this is it. Isak is ditching us to go get laid. How dare he, we would totally not do the same.” Isak flipped him off and went back to his phone.

 

He bit his lip and put his phone down for a second, “I promise I’ll make it up to you. At least I don’t have to lie anymore now. It’s just that, you know, we’ve finally gotten to this point and, yeah.” His phone buzzed. The schoolbell rang.

“Isak, stop apologizing for things,” Mahdi said, “we’re glad you’re getting some. God knows we’ve been trying to get Magnus laid forever, at least we don’t have to take care of that for you.” “Fuck you,” Magnus growled and he crossed his arms, “it’s not my fucking fault alright? Chicks just don’t dig my awesomeness.” “Maybe it’s because you don’t know jack shit about how to please chicks,” Jonas said, “remember when you didn’t know girls like it when you go down on them?” “Or when you had to ask Isak how gay sex works,” Mahdi piped in and Magnus looked ashamed.

 “That’s okay, don’t tease him. If I had dealt with my shit sooner, maybe I would have been in this position last year. Who knows, maybe in two or three weeks things will be very different for all of us,” Isak said and the boys went silent.

 Isak’s phone buzzed again.

 Isak’s smile widened. Maybe things would be very different in two or three weeks. Maybe he’d officially have a boyfriend.

 They all got up and went their separate ways to get to class. Isak took that time to think about whether to add a heart or if that was too obvious, but he didn’t want to hide the way he felt any longer. Not now Even seemed to be really serious about them too. And so he added a heart and clicked ‘send’.

 

 

\--

When Isak got to Kaffebreneriet, Even was waiting for him at a table with two cups ready to go. He smiled at Isak from behind his cup “hello,” he purred as Isak sat down. Isak’s cheeks were already hurting and he sucked his lower lip between his teeth as he stared back into Even’s eyes, “hello.” He had only been in Even’s presence for a few seconds, but the air was already electric, filled with anticipation of their promises.

 They stared at each other in silence for a little until Even let out a laugh, his eyes wrinkling, and he put down his cup, “I can’t stand this any longer, can we _please_ leave?” Isak felt his heart smashing against his ribcage as he managed to nod slightly.

 Even pushed himself up so fast the chair shrieked and startled Isak. He took Isak’s hand swiftly into his own and pulled him up alongside him. Isak remembered what he had said in his messages. _I’ll do it again._ It felt strange to think about it with Even so close, but it were probably just nerves. Isak had never before done any of these things with someone he really cared for and he still worried about Even’s response in a lot of situations. They were in a place where they were testing what the other would like and be able to deal with. He told himself that Even had probably been just as nervous sending him those texts.

 They left the café and Even dragged him down the street and into the alley that they used as a shortcut. They were halfway when Isak felt the unbearable need to kiss Even and he stopped in his tracks, digging his heels in as Even tried to drag him further. When he realised Isak had stopped he looked up, concern visible in his forehead. Isak didn’t give him any time to worry though, kissing him quickly. He kept it brief, realising they were out in the streets where anybody could see, but Even made a pleased sound against his lips.

 Even smiled cheekily when Isak pulled back and they started walking again, but a little faster. They stopped a few more times on their way to Isak’s place, never able to keep away for more than a minute. And then the front door banged open as they walked in, lips attached, and Isak didn’t even care if his roommates where there to see. They left their coffee cups in the hallway and stumbled towards Isak’s bedroom while trying to get each other’s clothes off. It was such a mess, but so wonderful too.

 “You know,” Isak started as Even unzipped his hoodie, “if we were to ever have a child, it would have your eyes and your mouth, which just means we would have one beautiful kid.” He felt a little stupid for having said it, but Even stopped his movements and looked at Isak curiously, “what?”

 Isak’s mouth opened, but he couldn’t really find an answer yet so he shrugged, “biology. We had to do this assignment about dominant traits and predict shit.”

 “And you chose me to ‘predict shit’ with?” Even asked, his eyebrows raised in classic Even style. “I- well, I-“ Isak stammered, and then he remembered all the embarrassing shit he had already told Even. _You’re the man of my life._ If Even was going to make fun of him for it, he would have done it already. “I did, yeah. And you sure have some dominant traits,” Isak admitted as he curled his fingers in Even’s shirt.

 Even stared at him, motionless and not saying a thing, and then he announced, “I’ll show you some dominance.” He swept Isak off his feet and he was surprised they made it to the bed before they fell down tangled up together.

 Who knew, maybe in two or three weeks things would be very different for them. Maybe Isak would no longer be a virgin.


	6. Lørdag 01:13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Merry Christmas,” Even whispered once Isak returned back to him, eyes opening again. Isak smiled, pressing their foreheads together, “Merry Christmas, baby.”
> 
> \---
> 
> Or, the one after the Christmas party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Eve!
> 
> I wrote the mistletoe scene!!   
> For Christmas and boxing day I'm working on a scene that will be posted in 2 parts and will be Even's POV.  
> I am already in love with it and I hope you will like it too! 
> 
> If you love these please leave kudos, they make me SUPER happy. Takk <3

**lørdag 01:23**

 

“Alright, it was nice having you guys here,” Isak said as he hugged Eva and waved at the others. Then he frowned, “wait. Where are Magnus and Vilde?” They all paused and looked around as if to check. The boys all shared a look and started laughing, and Isak suddenly realised what may have happened. “Hold up,” He said as he shook his head.

He walked back into the apartment to the living room to check there, but his boyfriend was standing in the doorway and wouldn’t let him pass. He was smiling at him, looking like he had been waiting for Isak to return. “Isak,” Even beamed, trying to reach for his hand and pull him in, but Isak ducked past him, “hold up.”

He looked around the mostly deserted living room, most people had left already, but Magnus and Vilde weren’t there. “Have you seen Magnus and Vilde?” He turned to Even, who was looking at him with intense eyes, almost as if Isak was missing something. As if something was so obvious and Even didn’t get why Isak wasn’t realising it. He blinked at him and Even was about to open his mouth when Isak decided to look further.

He left his boyfriend standing there, making his way down the hallway to the kitchen, which was empty too. Isak didn’t understand, where could they have possibly gone? Unless.. “no fucking way.” He rushed to the bedrooms and hesitated for a second before checking his. It was the only one Magnus knew to find.

“Oh Jesus, fucking hell,” He cursed once he opened the door, bringing up his hands to cover his eyes. Vilde shrieked and Magnus cursed too, Isak could hear him scramble and fall off the bed. “I’m going to count to ten and then there better be more clothes on than there were when I opened this door,” He warned and started counting. “7, 8-,” He was almost there when he heard Even’s voice in his ear, “what’s going on?” “9, 10” Isak finished before he opened his eyes and looked at Even first. “Well, your advice worked,” Isak muttered quietly so Vilde wouldn’t hear.

“Dude, I- I’m sorry,” Magnus panted, sounding out of breath in a way that was unhealthy. Vilde looked away shyly, avoiding everyone’s gaze, but still slipped her hand into Magnus’s. “As you should be,” Isak ranted, “in my fucking bed? Honestly?”

Even’s hand reached for his and he squeezed it while he stepped closer, “calm down.” Isak felt his presence work wonders on him and he sighed, shoulders slumping, “sorry. Just, go, get a fucking room that isn’t mine.” He waved them off and they rushed out without another word, but with soft smiles on their faces that showed the blossoming of a romance.

Isak walked up to his bed, letting go of Even’s hand, and started pulling off the sheets until there was nothing but his mattress. “What are you doing?” Even asked from the doorway and Isak looked at his bed before finally making his way over to him. He wrapped his arms around Even’s waist and kissed his chin, “you don’t think that once we’ve cleaned up the house, I’m going to take you back to a bed where my friend just maybe, possibly, had sex in?” He cocked an eyebrow and Even smiled down at him, “what does it matter if we’ll make it just as filthy?”

Isak didn’t think he would ever not feel overwhelmed when Even talked about these things with Isak, about wanting to kiss him and whatever else, as if it was so normal to him. Or maybe he did it on purpose, to make Isak blush in embarrassment. Either way Even was good at making Isak’s heart skip a beat.

“Anyway,” Even whispered, waiting for Isak to look into his eyes, “I- uh, I’ve kind of been waiting for you to-“. “Isak! Are you coming to help us clean up or what?” Eskild barged in, interrupting their conversation. Even hung his head, obviously annoyed with it, and Isak shouted back an “I’ll be right there!”

He took Even’s face into his hands and bent down a little so he could look up into his eyes, “hey, I’ll work really fast so we can finish this talk, okay?” Even’s eyes lacked the usual sparkle, but he nodded and lifted his head again. Isak pressed a soft kiss to Even’s lips, “I’ll be so fast, you’ll think I’m superman,” he promised.

Even followed him out of the bedroom and started helping them clean up all the empty beer cans. Isak was reminded of the first party, where he had been assigned the same task and Even had surprised him in the kitchen. Back then all there had been between them was flirting, now it was a lot more. Now Isak was draining the left over beer and Even brought in new cans, letting his hand linger on Isak’s back before going to get more. Now he could kiss Even once he was done, press him up against the sink. What was new this time was Even pushing him away. “Wha-“ He started, but Even was shaking his head, “shut up.”

Even grabbed his hand and started pulling him along to the living room, “goddammit Isak. I’ve been waiting for you all night to finally fucking realise,” Even sounded frustrated and Isak still didn’t get why. Even stopped pulling when he had reached the doorway where he had tried to stop Isak earlier that night and Isak was still as confused. That look in his eyes was back, the one that told Isak he was supposed to realise something completely obvious, but he really didn’t know what it was.

Even’s shoulders visibly dropped a little, “I’ve been trying to get you here all night so I could kiss you and show everyone at the party just how damn happy you make me. But you’ve been too busy being the perfect host and I’m sorry about how annoyed that has made me, but really Isak is it so hard to-.“ While Even was talking, his hands flailing, things finally started making sense to Isak. He looked up at the ceiling and saw the mistletoe that Even and Eskild had put up there earlier that night.

It took a second for Isak to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat, but when he managed he pushed himself up on his toes, getting a hand on the back of Even’s neck, and dragged him into a kiss. Even’s words died in his throat and Isak kissed him with his eyes squeezed shut, his heart beating in his ears. He didn’t understand how Even always managed to make him feel so loved, so fucking special, when all he did in return was ruin moments like these.

They kissed hungrily and Isak was reminded of the first night where Even stayed. The time Even showed up on his doorstep after Isak told him to stay away until he had made up his mind. This kiss was just as needy.

Even’s hands pulled his body closer, one hand on Isak’s lower back, and their hips pressed together in a way that was way too sinful. Isak broke the kiss, gasping for air, but he didn’t go far. The doorframe was right behind him and Even pressed him against it so they wouldn’t fall over. They kissed again, tongues sliding together, and Isak felt his cheeks heat up as he thought of how Eskild or Linn or Noora could just walk in and see.

Even brought up one of Isak’s knees and Isak caught on and jumped up so he could wrap both his legs around Even’s waist all while trying to keep their lips locked. They laughed when it failed, but neither of them gave up and Even moved his lips to Isak’s neck now that Isak was actually a little taller than Even.

Isak tipped his head back, hitting the wood, and he moaned, “take me to bed.” Even finished leaving a hickey on Isak’s skin before he pulled back to look at Isak’s face and Isak wrapped his arms around his neck. His boyfriend hoisted him up a little and Isak laughed again before hiding his face into the crook of Even’s neck. They got halfway down the hallway before Even almost lost his balance and Isak let go easily, “god you suck at that, remind me not to let you carry me in on our wedding day,” he joked over his shoulder as he walked further. He pulled his shirt over his head and stopped in front of his bedroom door to look back when he noticed Even wasn’t following him.

“What?” He asked, worry immediately nagging at him as he looked at Even’s nearly emotionless face. Even stared at him from a few steps away and he uttered, confessed, “I love you.” Isak stood motionless, his shirt dangling from his hand, and blinked. Even seemed nervous, unsure if he had made a mistake, but then Isak let himself smile and he swallowed to keep his voice in check, “I love you too.”

For a few seconds there was silence and nothing happened. In those seconds Isak swore that Even could hear his heartbeat, it was that loud. And then Even smiled so brightly that Isak almost made a joke about needing sunglasses, but now wasn’t the time. Now wasn’t the time, because Even took three confident steps towards him and pulled him into the most dazzling kiss Isak had ever experienced. Even reached behind them, hand searching for the doorknob and then they fell into Isak’s room, still kissing each other.

Isak knew their confessions were long overdue, they were just words that meant nothing compared to their actions. Isak had been there through some of Even’s darkest days, never giving up on him. And Even, well Even so selflessly gave all of him to Isak and put his trust in him. Even had freed Isak from the lie he had been living. In a way it was Even who had made Isak accept himself for who he was.

Even kissed down Isak’s chest as his hands made short work of Isak’s jeans and Isak briefly thought back to the conversation he had had with Eva. It was the first time he had sat down and told anyone about how he truly felt about everything. And although it was true that things were awful when they were bad, when Even was bad, it was also true that when things were good they were mind-blowing. When things were good they were so in sync, so affectionate, so out of this world. When things were good Isak was on a constant high, desperate for Even’s love. When things were good they felt invincible.

The air was cold without any blankets to keep them warm, but Even’s skin was warm against his and he forgot to care. Even brought up one of Isak’s legs around his hips and Isak honestly lost himself. He took his hand, entwining their fingers and he pushed their linked hands into the mattress above Isak’s head. He kissed him intently, biting at his mouth in a way that he knew would drive Isak crazy.

Despite how desperate they had been Even was soft with him. His soft whispered _“I love you”_ ’s pulled Isak out of his daze, but made him hold his breath so he wouldn’t miss any of them. Every time Even’s hips moved his lips brushed Isak’s ear, the words getting breathier with every thrust until they stopped and turned into a moan.

Even’s nose grazed his collarbone and Isak’s eyes rolled back as a feeling of pure ecstasy washed over him. His hand tightened in Even’s grasp, but Even held him down, kissed his collarbone ever so softly before peppering kisses all over his skin on his way up to his lips. So beautiful he was, so perfect. He would never get tired of kissing him and he hoped he never had to stop kissing him. He promised he wouldn’t take him for granted, he swore it, as long as he got to keep Even by his side.

“Merry Christmas,” Even whispered once Isak returned back to him, eyes opening again. Isak smiled, pressing their foreheads together, “Merry Christmas, baby.”


	7. Sondag 19:47 - Onsdag 11:34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "what do you think your parents would say about me?"  
> It was a question so genuine and it showed Isak's lack of confidence. He had no clue just how beautiful he was, how much Even felt for him. He had no clue how much he had just broken Even with his words. It was a question from a boy unaware he would push Even away once the truth came out. So Even decided to do it for him.  
> \---  
> Or, part 1 of Even's week after the First Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!!! Or as they'd say in Skam: God Jul!!!  
> I hope all of you are enjoying the holidays, no matter what you celebrate. 
> 
> The past few days I have been working on a scene that has turned into a week worth of scenes from Even's point of view. So these are the first two scenes of that whole week. There will probably be 2 more parts to follow this up, but it all depends on how much more I'll write. I don't want these scenes to get too long and this part is almost 3.000 words already! 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it! If you do.. I LOVE to read your comments and kudos make me super excited to write more :--)  
> Oh and PLEASE leave me ideas, because I can't believe there aren't any scenes you guys can think of! Help me out here!

\---

Staying away from Isak felt like the hardest thing Even ever had to do. It was a conscious decision though that had taken some time to come to, but that didn’t make it any easier.

There were three reasons for this decision to be the right one:

  1. Even's mind was not to be trusted. He knew this and so he knew that maybe this whole obsession with Isak was just his head playing with him and neither Isak or Even deserved to be played like that. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Isak and if that meant he had to hurt him now, before anything had really happened, then that was better than hurting him later on when feelings may have started to grow.
  2. It was a test for Even to see of Isak was truly interested and would come after him, or if he would give up just as easily. This wasn’t the most important reason, but it was a reason nonetheless. Even knew that Isak was struggling to come to terms with his sexuality, whatever that was. He had realised from the moment he returned Isak’s hat while he was with his sitting with his friends. The moment his eyes screamed ‘panic’ when the guys asked where he had forgotten it. Isak was trying to figure out if he liked guys or not and wasn’t ready to come out. This is why it was a reason. Maybe Even was just an experiment, which would mean reason 1 was pointless and it would only hurt Even in the end.
  3. Even was too used to being with Sonja. Things were easy with her, because she understood him. Isak, well Isak didn't _know_. And so he needed time to decide if it was worth the jump into the unknown. Sonja had been very clear to him once he told her about Isak. "Once you cut me off, I won't come back Even," she had warned him. And Even knew that although he was tired of her shit, she cared for him. Maybe a little too much, but that was what he had to figure out.



 Three reasons to stay away from Isak, three valid reasons as well, and still Even failed.

\--- 

**Sondag 19:47**

 

From the moment his door opened, Sonja’s mouth opened too. "What the hell was that shit you pulled on me and Emma?" She demanded, her voice loud and booming and angry. She looked upset and Even felt mildly guilty for making her look that way. "Really, all I did was worry about you and how much you were drinking and next thing I know you're gone. Don't you realise how scared I was? I thought maybe things had gone bad." She brushed a hand through her hair, out of breath from the way she had been talking, and Even tried to talk back without raising his voice.

"No," He brought in, "I was just tired of you controlling me. I've told you that before," he argued, failing at staying calm as his voice grew to match Sonja’s level. "You're always nagging at me, checking me and taking away my things. I'm not some baby that needs taking care of, Sonja."

Sonja didn’t miss a beat, a counterattack already on her lips, "but you do! Even, you do, you need someone who cares about you and keeps an eye on you, because if I let you do whatever you want then you'll drink too much and smoke too much and forget your medicines and you know what that all leads too."

Sonja honestly sounded like a mother and Even huffed at her, "you don't even give me a chance to figure things out on my own!" Sonja crossed her arms and glared at him, "no, because the second I take my eyes off of you things happen. Like you running off with a boy you have known for what, a month? Less? Without your phone and going god knows where. You didn’t even send me a text to let me know you were okay, how can you do that to your girlfriend?" "Those things only happen because you're always bossing me around so when I see chance to- you know what? This is futile," Even shook his head.

There was silence for a while, and Even hoped maybe she had calmed down some, but when Sonja was about to stomp away in anger Even blurted out what this had been about all along, "I kissed him." 

Sonja stopped in her tracks, her back to Even, who continued with his story, "We went out and I kissed him. And then I went home with him and kissed him more. I stayed the night. I like him. I really like him. Isak." He watched her back as she stood there motionless, but he couldn’t tell what she was feeling, her posture told him nothing.

Sonja turned back to him, but she didn't scream at him like he had expected. Instead, she looked very calm and collected, which was possibly more frightening. "Even," she started, "can't you see? This is exactly what I'm talking about. The weed, the alcohol; you’re going against all I'm trying to protect you from. Of course you like Isak, this is what you do when you're getting into a manic episode. You get obsessed with something, or in this case someone.”

She shook her head and sighed, “remember when you spent 10.000 kroner on movies with the word ‘love’ in the title, just so you could see how many there were? Or that time where you learnt Latin so that once you discovered how to travel back in time you could talk to the Romans and find out the truth about religion and the birth of Jesus?" 

Even looked down at his folded hands, which he kept in his lap. He didn't want to trust her, because he knew that not everything Sonja said could be trusted, but she was right. In a way this could be a lead up to another episode and that could mean Even would lose interest in Isak after that would happen. Isak didn't deserve that. However, he was quite sure being with Sonja wasn’t the right option either. He still felt she was controlling and he just didn’t care for her as much anymore.

"I want to take a break, Sonja,” He said then, which made Sonja huff, “and I swear that decision has nothing to do with Isak, but with us. I don't know if we're still good for each other," he admitted, seeing sadness flash in her eyes as he spoke. 

She visibly swallowed and turned her face away from him, her jaw clenched, "okay. Fine. But once you cut me off I won't come back, Even." He could hear how she didn’t want to say these words, but she made herself. Her pride was bigger than her sadness.

Even averted his eyes back to his lap again, "and I won't ask that of you. But right now I need some time, some space, to deal with this all so that I won't make a hasty decision."

Sonja stood there for another minute and Even was waiting for her to say something or maybe for her to finally break and scream all sorts of profanities at him, but in the end she just walked away and left him alone.

She didn't text that day or the day after, but Even knew she was only doing it to make a point. Because he knew she was certain that Even would come back to her, because this wasn't the first time they were in this spot, but it was the first time Even had feelings for someone else and that changed everything. Everything.

\---

**Onsdag 11:34**

Isak trying to practice football tricks during class, hidden in a corner by himself, was a sight that made Even chuckle brightly. His heart felt warm, seeing this beautiful boy letting go so carelessly. It wasn't what Even had expected to find once he decided to catch Isak during PE. He had thought maybe Isak would be trying to hide away or just stand around with some others or maybe sit on a bench with his phone, like he had done during the first kosegruppa meeting.

The first weeks of his crush on Isak, the boy had seemed to rarely step out of his comfort zone. The only time he seemed to be rebellious was when he was around his friends. Or around Even as they had seen on Halloween. Apparently the gym was another place where Isak could let go.

Isak paused, the ball at his feet, and he looked a little breathless and so fucking beautiful. His gaze followed his classmates as they walked by, until he spotted Even and their eyes met. It sparked such a dizzying feeling inside of him that Even didn't want to linger there any longer. The confusion of whether this feeling was real or brought on by his disorder, came paired with too many emotions. He pushed himself away from the doorway and walked away, knowing Isak would follow. 

And he was right. Isak walked in looking confused, but he still smiled at Even as he said a soft, "hi." "Hello," Even replied, standing still in the middle of the dressing room so they'd be invisible to the ones walking past in the hallway. 

Isak looked nervous for some reason, probably because Even had been an ass and he hadn't seen him since he disappeared on Sunday morning, and so his next question was predictable, "where have you been?" 

'Thinking about you so much that I started going insane with the want to see you. Talking to Sonja. Living in doubt, but now I'm with you again everything feels so right' they were all thoughts Even couldn't voice, because he couldn't explain it all. He couldn’t just tell him he was bipolar. So he chose the one thing he could explain. "I- have told Sonja about you. And we have decided to take a break."

Isak's face looked so unreadable that it worried Even, "What do you think about that?" Isak's face didn't change much until a soft, almost inaudible, "awesome," left his lips. It was followed by a hint of a smile and Even couldn't help but copy it. "Yeah?" He asked to clarify, and he could see Isak's expression change. Even's question had made him doubt if it was the best response to such a question, if maybe Even didn't like being on a break with Sonja. It startled Even to realise that Isak still felt unsure about Even's feelings for him, his words only confirmed the thought "uh, or, if it makes you sad, then it's..I hope it's not my fault."

It all felt ridiculous at that point. How could Isak not realise how much he liked him?

“I'm not sad," He cocked an eyebrow and smiled at Isak, trying to make a point. Isak looked back into his eyes and his, "no?" sounded like a 'really?'. "No," Even stated so no room for doubt was left. He wasn't sad about Sonja, that wasn't the issue here. 

Isak looked relieved and Even couldn't help but kiss him, needing him to fully understand the weight of his words. And Isak kissed him back without skipping a beat. It felt so natural to kiss Isak and once Even broke it a smile lingered on Isak's lips. Good. At least that part was out of the way. 

It didn't change however, that Even wasn't (just) there to kiss Isak. Isak made him feel things that Even thought were attached to the word 'love', but the doubt of whether those feelings were genuine wasn't gone after a simple kiss. It wasn't that easy for Even to deal with the thought that this could be all due to his bipolar disorder. That he didn't really feel anything sincere for Isak. 

"What.. do you think your parents would say if you started dating me?" He asked, realising that he was actively looking for a reason to leave Isak alone. Maybe if his parents wouldn't accept him or Isak didn't want to tell them he could use it as an excuse to let him go.

It wasn't a question of what Even wanted, because all he truly wanted was Isak, but it was a question of what was best for them. Mostly it was about what was best for Isak. 

Isak looked down and away at anything but Even. It only confirmed to Even that Isak was still coming to terms with his sexuality and that he shouldn't be played with. "I think that would be okay," Isak brought out eventually. 

Even could tell Isak was lying. Isak was a bad liar. "Yeah?" He asked, the question showing Even doubted Isak's first answer and so Isak rephrased it, "or, my dad probably wouldn't mind," he clarified.

"But your mom would?" Even frowned as he kept a close eye on Isak's face. For a moment Even saw sadness, but then Isak covered it up by wiggling his shoulders and letting out something that sounded like a chuckle, "my mom is insane."

Even's paused for a second. He didn't like the word insane, too many people had used it to describe him. Insane. Crazy. He lifted his head almost defensively, "in what way?"

Isak brushed a hand past his nose and started talking, "she, uh, no I mean it's a completely surreal situation. She thinks the world is about to end. Like that my uncle is Donald Trump." Even raised his eyebrows, which caused Isak to pull a funny face, smiling a little, "my uncle is not Donald Trump."

Even laughed at that, but it felt like he was laughing it off, "okay." On the inside there was a dreadful feeling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t really put a finger on why he felt it. Isak continued, "but anyway, yeah, it's none of her fucking concern. We haven't spoken since I moved out." This surprised Even, "so you don't keep in touch anymore?" 

"No, I mean, I decided my life would be better without mentally ill people around me." 

And that. That just. Even could feel the way his heart almost stopped. It hurt, like a knife had been lodged in and kept giving a stinging feeling all throughout his body. Isak decided his life was better without people like Even around him. Even was mentally ill.

The shock of it made him unable to move and he looked down so Isak wouldn't see the pain in his eyes. It felt like sand slipping through his fingers, the feeling of losing hope. The feeling of losing Isak thanks to a simple sentence, it didn't make sense at all. 

Isak must have realised something about his words had changed the air around them as he looked down and swayed around a little bit. There was silence for a few seconds before he opened his mouth again, the words coming out nervously, "what do you think your parents would say about me?" 

It was a question so genuine and it showed Isak's lack of confidence. He had no clue just how beautiful he was, how much Even felt for him. He had no clue how much he had just broken Even with his words. It was a question from a boy unaware he would push Even away once the truth came out. So Even decided to do it for him.

The school bell rang.

Even held Isak's cheek, taking in his face as he leaned in closer. The colour of his eyes, the curve of his lips, the dimple in his chin. He stored it all away in his memories. This would be their last kiss, he swore that to himself. He would distance himself from Isak so they wouldn't hurt each other. They were doomed as a couple, time would catch up and the truth would come out one day. Best to end it sooner than later. 

"I think they would love you," Even smiled and brought Isak's face closer to his as he tipped his head up until their lips touched. Their last kiss, a kiss much too brief for all Even tried to put in it, but he knew that if he didn't let go now not only would they be caught, but he wouldn't want to leave. 

So he pulled back, let their noses brush as he caressed Isak's cheek one last time, and then he dropped his hand and walked away, leaving behind what could have been.


	8. Torsdag 8:30 - Fredag 23:11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this was like having an episode, but then less intense. An episode toned down and more real than all of the others. Maybe. Maybe it was just reality, the way others experienced the types of feelings that were heightened for him during an episode. Maybe.  
> \---  
> Or, part 2 of Even's week after the First Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Part 2 of Even's week after the First Kiss, including confusion and pining on Even's part, and YES the party. Note for that scene: It is deliberately that short, because in the grand scheme of things this scene is almost pointless to Even. Even does not know that Isak saw him and his time with Sonja simply doesn't matter. :) 
> 
> Anyway, I would just like to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart, because by now this story has over 450 kudos and I am overwhelmed by the kind comments you have left behind. They honestly give me life and makes me feel like together with all of you we can keep Isak and Even's story continuing to expand.  
> That being said, I am having a hard time writing two insanely important scenes (in my opinion) and I would love to read what you see happening in those scenes!  
> \- the scene between the last clip of episode 9 and the first of episode 10  
> \- Isak meeting Even's mother
> 
> Please help me out here frends.  
> Takk <3  
> -

**\---**

**Torsdag**

Even found it hard to concentrate at all after Wednesday. Whenever his thoughts trailed off he remembered Isak's words. _I decided my life would be better without mentally ill people around me._ He called in sick his fifth lesson, which he was late for anyway. He just wasn’t in a very good place. 

He had seen Isak during the lunch break. The boy had been laughing with his friends without a care in the world, unaware of Even's staring. Despite the conscious decision to stay away from him, Even's feelings hadn't lessened whatsoever. Nothing had changed there. 

He still felt his heart jump every time he spotted Isak somewhere, he still thought he was the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on and he still longed to kiss him. In many perspectives nothing had changed since the first time Even saw him, but it were those few changes that meant everything. Isak would never want him. 

So Even went home and locked himself up in his room. His parents were at work so he had the place all to himself, which he was extremely thankful for. If they had been there they would have worried about him being home again, but even more about him locking himself in his room. 

Maybe this was like having an episode, but then less intense. An episode toned down and more real than all of the others. Maybe. Maybe it was just reality, the way others experienced the types of feelings that were heightened for him during an episode. Maybe. 

He managed to sleep for a while until he heard the front door open and he sat up. It was a quarter to five. He quickly rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and crawled out of his bed. He fixed his hair by touch and then left his room. "Hi mom, I'm studying in my room," he told her as he kissed her cheek. He tried to act like nothing was up in order not to worry her.

 "Could you bring food to my room? I have a lot of work to do," He asked her. He wondered if maybe she knew something was up, because she stopped unpacking groceries and looked at him intently. He was begging with his eyes for her not to ask questions and not to worry, please, and she sighed and pulled him in a hug, "alright, my hard worker." Even wasn't really a hard worker and they both knew that, but Even hummed as he hugged her back tightly. Mothers always knew. 

He stayed and helped her for a little, feeling guilty too much to just rush off again, but once she started cooking and silence fell over them he excused himself. He flopped down on the floor and spread out all his books in front of him. He chose English to start with and flipped open his notebook only to find a ton of drawings, most of them about Isak. He read the first three before closing his notebook and sighing loudly. This letting go of Isak thing wasn't going to be easy.

His phone buzzed from his bed, but he ignored it. It buzzed again a few minutes later, but Even didn't feel like talking to anyone.

He was working on the first math equation when he got interrupted again. His mother was knocking on the door and she opened it a second later, "Even? Dinner is ready, you can come get it. Oh, and Sonja called. If you please could text her back," his mother smiled and she closed the door again, knowing he'd be right there. 

He groaned and threw his pen at the wall, leaving a tiny spot that he would never be able to unsee from now on. Fucking Sonja. Did she not understand the concept of taking a break?

He got up and picked up his phone from his bed. There were two texts. The first one was Sonja's. 

 

The second one was Isak.  

He stared at the text for a second and then dropped his phone next to his books. He needed to think about what to do. 

He walked to the kitchen and filled a plate with food. He said hello to his dad and thanked his mother and then he left again. His thoughts were racing when he flopped down on the floor and took a bite of food before putting his plate down and taking another look at the two texts. Sonja said she wasn't pressuring him, but she was. Isak had no clue that Even had decided to break things off and he had no idea how to tell him that. He couldn't tell him the truth, that much was clear after their talk in the locker room.

_I decided my life would be better without mentally ill people around me._

And Sonja, maybe Sonja was a lot to deal with, but at least she understood and she accepted him. She was always there for him and forgave him for all the shit he always pulled on her. Maybe Even just had to learn to let someone take care of him.

The doubt and confusion made him feel physically sick and he doubted he'd eat much more of his dinner. Eventually he wrote two replies and sent them, silently praying he hadn’t just made a big mistake.

      

\---

**Fredag 21:43**

Sonja only hugged him when he came to pick her up and she smiled, "hey, you look good." Even put a hand on the small of her back as he led the way, "thanks, you do too." 

She sat down on the back of his bike and they went on their way. Her hands were on his waist, hesitant but necessary, and they were quiet the whole ride. All Even could think about were Isak's arms around his waist and how much better they felt. 

Emma welcomed them in the kitchen and told them to get drinks. Even got a beer and Sonja eyed him as if she was about to comment. He took a swig from the bottle and stared back defiantly. Sonja pursed her lips but kept quiet. She was trying. 

They made their way through the mass of people to find a less crowded spot and as Even leaned against the wall he looked around to see if Isak or his friends were there. He didn’t see him, which meant he must not be there, because Even was sure he could find Isak in a crowd of a thousand people. The music blasted in his ears and he felt too uncomfortable there so he downed his first drink and went to get a second one shortly after. He knew getting drunk wasn’t the smartest idea, but somehow tonight he didn’t care about how it would influence his mental state.

Sonja kept smiling at him, but he could see the worry in her eyes. “Stop looking at me like that,” He told her when she was dancing in front of him. She opened her mouth and then closed it again, licking her lips instead. It reminded Even of the way she was when he first met her, when she didn’t know about him being bipolar. She had changed after she found out, but Even had expected that.

“If you don’t stop I won’t get back together with you,” He huffed, forcing a smile for her. Her eyes lit up and she stepped closer to him, “you’ve been thinking about getting together with me?” Even didn’t even have time to reply before she was kissing him and he kissed her back. There wasn’t that much of a spark though, definitely not as much as there once used to be, and he thought of Isak. His beautiful Isak.

“Hold on, don’t go anywhere,” She said when someone touched her shoulder and she turned to talk to them. He watched her talk enthusiastically to a girl he recognised as one of her friends and he liked how happy this made her. Maybe this wasn’t what his heart desired, but it was an okay enough alternative. He had someone who loved him despite everything.

Sonja waved off her friend and turned back to him, “hey.” Her smile was genuine this time and he returned it, “hey.” “I still can’t believe you,” She said while she was pulling his face down for another kiss. And then another.

“Alright, calm down. It doesn’t mean we have nothing to work on,” He took her hand and she gave a single nod. He knew she would probably make a fuss of that later on, but he decided not to argue now.

He was still silently praying he hadn’t just made a big mistake.


	9. Mondag 8:30 - Fredag 19:00

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “no. I can’t do this. I’m sorry, I can’t be with you. I can’t. I love Isak, I have to give us a shot. Please don’t take it personally, I- yeah, I-“ and then he turned away and ran out on her, grabbing a jacket on his way out.  
> \---  
> Or, part 3 of Even’s week after the First Kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the third and last part of Even's week. 
> 
> I've been working on the week after Even's mania up to O Helga Natt , but I want to keep those for Friday and Saturday, posting drama Skam Style (on Friday and Saturday).  
> Also, I hope I'll have something to post those 2 days in between. I've had a few rough days and am not feeling too inspired. I haven't had any requests since the first 2 or 3 chapters so I'm just trying to come up with things myself, but yeah! So, if I don't post tomorrow do not worry, I will be back. :--)  
> In the meantime PLEASE leave requests if you have any. I know there are many other skam fics out there doing something similar to mine and are maybe even better at it, but there must be things you want to read!  
> I'm even willing to give the hotel scene a shot, even though I haven't written smut in a long time. 
> 
> Hit me the fuck up!!!  
> Takk
> 
> Tumblr: evenogisakk.tumblr.com

**Mondag 8:30**

Even saw Isak at school again on Monday. He was standing outside with his friends when he caught Isak walking down the schoolyard. He was listening to his headphones, the hood of his hoodie up and his eyes on the ground. He was avoiding Even.

Even watched as he was trying so hard not to look up that he walked into another guy. Or well, they walked into each other, but still. Isak stumbled and he stood still for a moment before he walked on, his shoulders slumped a little more.

Even wondered why he was avoiding Even. If it was because of his text. Was Isak that disappointed? He wanted to go up to him and talk, but he had made a promise to himself. He knew that if he talked to Isak, he’d probably end up wanting to kiss him again.

 

\---

**Tirsdag 12:12**

On Tuesday he walked into the canteen, straight into Isak. There wasn’t any shock, no smile, only disinterest. It made Even freak out somehow, made him feel as if he had done something wrong. And maybe he had, but he had never expected Isak to look at him as if he was a stranger. As if nothing had ever happened.

“Hey,” Even said, his voice soft, as his eyes roamed over Isak’s face. He thought he could remember every detail of it whenever he closed his eyes, but he was wrong. Isak was much more beautiful than he remembered. They hadn’t talked for almost a week. Isak didn’t seem to care.

Even looked down at their feet and saw what Isak was holding. A cheese toastie. He couldn’t help but let it get to him. He was talking before he realised it, “no cardamom?” Isak looked at his plate and then back up at Even, his mouth hanging open slightly and he laughed almost soundlessly. They stared at each other for a little, the hint of a smile on his face, and then Isak pulled a weird face and used a funny voice to say, “right, cardamom.”

Even laughed at it and then saw Isak drop his head again. They were in a weird place and he knew perfectly well that it was his own doing. He bit his lip and Isak went on, “no, so..” and Even was trying to figure out what to say.

“But, uh..” He managed to start with, but Isak interrupted him, “I think I gotta go.” Even had barely raised his head before Isak had moved past him and outside, leaving him behind. Even felt stupid, like he had made a huge mistake, but he told himself Isak just needed time. Things would be alright in time. Maybe they could be friends one day. He told himself he would stop feeling bad about not choosing Isak.

 

\---

**Onsdag 16:19**

Even had to do something. He couldn’t live with the fact that Isak was mad at him. He knew he couldn’t give him everything, but he could try to make peace with him. So he slipped into the dressing room while Isak was having PE to leave him a drawing, something he had done a few times before.

He found Isak’s coat without having to check twice. He folded the drawing and put it in his pocket alongside his phone so he would easily find it. And then he paused, took it back out. Was it really good enough?

He could hear the sound of shoes against the gym floor, balls bouncing around and people yelling names at each other. It would be so easy to just take a look and see if Isak was as carefree as the last time, but he forced himself not to.

Even watched Isak’s clothes neatly folded or hung up on the wall. His beanie, his schoolbag that stood beneath the bench. He reached out for Isak’s scarf and he took it from the hanger, holding it loosely in his hands.

Someone was calling Isak’s name in the gym and Even pressed the scarf to his nose, breathing in love. His eyes fluttered shut and he took another deep breath, feeling like an addict needing a fix. Oh Isak. How he missed him. So much. If only they were in a parallel universe where Isak would accept him. If only they were in a parallel universe where Even was better. If only.

Maybe there was another universe where that was reality. Maybe, somewhere out there in this universe there were an Isak and Even truly happy together. He hoped so.

"Eh, what are you doing here?" He heard a voice and looked up to see one of the teachers staring at him curiously. Even cleared his throat and hung up the scarf, "uh. One of my friends, he left his scarf so I thought I'd just put it up here for him." The teacher gave a nod and looked at him with questioning eyes when Even didn't move. "Oh, alright, I'm going." He turned around and left the locker room, cursing himself for having taken back the drawing. 

He forced himself to walk down the hallway to Isak's locker and he punched in the numbers after making sure no one was around. Getting the locker to open wasn't easy, because Isak always had so much shit in it that it got stuck. Once he got it open he sorted Isak's stuff and left the drawing in the front before he closed it again. There.

 

\--- 

**Fredag 18:30**

Apart from a text after the first drawing, Even didn’t hear from Isak. He knew that he should be glad about it, but he couldn’t help himself. He just couldn’t really stay away, no matter how hard he tried.

“So I told him to stick his money up his ass and go somewhere else,” Sonja finished her story. Even hadn’t really been listening, but he knew she was talking about some asshole who had bothered her at work, “well done, fucking creep.” She looked pleased with his answer and took his hand as she curled up against his side. They were staying in for the night, watching TV together.

Since the party their taking a break could not be calling taking a break anymore. Sonja was smiling again like she always did after they made up and Even felt caught again in the set rhythm they had. Things were okay, but that’s all that he could say about it.

His phone buzzed and he picked it up, angling it away from Sonja so he could check who it was. It was a text from Isak and as he read it his blood ran cold.

 

Let it be? Let Isak be? It was exactly what he had pushed them into, exactly what he should want, but the thought of Isak not wanting to talk to him anymore hit him hard. He felt Sonja pressed against his side and it felt wrong. Things were okay, but not amazing. He wanted Isak, he just wanted Isak. And Isak was giving him the choice of now or never.

He pushed himself up from the couch and Sonja’s worried voice made him look down at her, “Even?” He looked at her and shook his head, “no. I can’t do this. I’m sorry, I can’t be with you. I can’t. I love Isak, I have to give us a shot. Please don’t take it personally, I- yeah, I-“ and then he turned away and ran out on her, grabbing a jacket on his way out.

He sent a reply as he rushed to his bike. ‘What are you doing now? Can we talk?’. It was most likely Isak was at home, so without waiting for a reply Even started cycling. He stood up on the pedals like he had done that night where they had to get away from the pool, wanting to get to Isak as soon as he could. He could feel his phone buzz, but he didn’t stop until he parked his bike. And he had been right. Isak was at home.

He rang the bell and waited for him to get buzzed in before he took the stairs with two steps at a time. He remembered walking here with Isak after their first kiss, he remembered Isak’s bedroom and how they had filled it with laughter and smoke. He couldn’t believe how he had been ready to throw that all away.

He stopped in front of the door to Isak’s apartment, out of breath and waiting for Isak to let him in. And Isak took damn long to answer, so long that Even wondered if this was a joke. Maybe this was payback for how he had treated him.

But then Isak opened the door, looking a little nervous and a little shy, and Even could finally breathe again. “Hey,” Isak muttered, avoiding Even’s eyes still. And everything became suddenly very clear, like a fog lifting from the scene, and Even knew he didn’t want to let go ever again.

He was trying to look for words to say, to explain how crazy he had been for letting him go, for giving up on them, but Isak beat him to it. His beautiful boy stepped in and surprised him by kissing him. His hand curled into the hair at the nape of Even’s neck as he drew him closer. Isak, who had been so shy and insecure before had just tugged him close and kissed him.

From the moment their lips touched Even felt everything around him fade into nothingness. There was only Isak and him, kissing to make up for lost time. And there was so much lost time, more than a week of it. And Even had been so stupid to think he should stay with Sonja, because nothing could beat the way he felt now. Nothing could beat the way he felt about Isak.

He realised that he would do whatever needed to be done to fix this and win Isak back over. And Isak seemed just as desperate as they tore at each other’s clothes. Maybe he had been wrong about Sonja, maybe the safe choice was exactly what Even _didn’t_ need. Maybe he had been wrong about Isak too, maybe Isak would accept Even once the truth came out. He didn’t have to tell straight away, no, he could ease into it.

It didn’t matter though, because he didn’t want to spend another minute away from Isak no matter the eventual outcome. He would take as much time as Isak would give him.

He would take forever if Isak were to offer it to him.


	10. Fredag 15:15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak wasn’t prepared for this, not really. Yes, he had done some research and had heard enough from Eskild’s previous hook ups to know what to do with himself, but still. He hadn’t expected it to be today, while that was pretty much the point too. People don’t usually plan to have sex for the first time. At least not any guys he knew.  
> \---  
> Or, part 1 of the hotel scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY IT'S HERE. AND I AM DYING TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you.. the hotel scene.  
> Honestly though this was one of the hardest to write, but I'm kind of happy with it. Of course the sex won't be posted till tomorrow hah! (no but I want to read it over once more bc I suck at smut). The whole scene is over 5000 words though, so I'm cutting it in half. 
> 
> Anyway, I was so overwhelmed by the amount of comments I got on the last chapter and the questions on my tumblr. You warm my heart and I hope you'll continue to leave comments, no matter how short or how epically long.
> 
> I decided to put a homage to George Michael into this part, because I've been hearing lots of his songs the past few days and somehow it felt really funny to use Careless Whisper. There are links to the songs if you want to hear what they're like. You probably know them (if you're into music).
> 
> Oh, and leave your guesses as to what song Even is about to play in the comments. I'll give you a hint: it's in the season 3 soundtrack.

**Fredag 15:35**

Isak felt quite astonished as he stepped into the glass elevator with Even. Even had been especially romantic so far, smiling a lot and making sure everyone knew that Isak was his boyfriend. He hadn’t told him yet why exactly they were at a hotel though and why Even had booked them a room, a freaking _suite,_ but he had a feeling he knew.

The glass doors closed behind them and they both watched the mass of people get smaller and smaller. They were going about their daily life, unaware of the fact that Isak and Even were standing in that elevator on their way to a suite.

Isak wasn’t prepared for this, not really. Yes, he had done some research and had heard enough from Eskild’s previous hook ups to know what to do with himself, but still. He hadn’t expected it to be today, while that was pretty much the point too. People don’t usually plan to have sex for the first time. At least not any guys he knew.

They soared up higher into the sky and Isak tried not to feel too nervous. This was Even after all, and although Even was rebellious and pretty impulsive, he had never pressured Isak into anything. And even now he was lost in his thoughts, Even knew just how to drag him out of them. He placed a hand on the back of Isak’s neck and pressed up against him, kissing his cheek lovingly.

Isak couldn’t stop his smile and when Even moved his hand further so he could pull Isak into a hug, Isak held on. It made him feel more at ease and calmed him down to a point where he didn’t feel any worry tugging at his insides anymore.

Even left another gentle kiss to his other cheek before he broke them apart slightly so he could look at Isak’s face. His hand moved down to Isak’s waist and Isak took a tiny bit of control this time, attaching their lips in a kiss. They had gone through too much shit for this to make him nervous. Watching Even smile so brightly really made his nerves disappear and he stayed pressed up against Even’s side until the elevator reached the top floor.

They walked the hallway together in comfortable silence and Even opened the door with the keycard, “ah a luxurious day with my boyfriend,” he exclaimed when they walked in. “Yeah, thanks for outing me to the whole hotel,” Isak laughed as the door fell shut behind them. “You’re welcome,” Even replied with a chuckle while he dropped his bag at the door and rushed into the room to check it out, “holy shit this bed could house like ten people.”

Isak followed him, but slower, taking his time. Even had thrown himself on the bed and was spread out like a starfish, looking like a complete dork and Isak shook his head at him before he turned away. He got out his phone and texted Eskild that he might not come home that night as he walked up to the window. The view of Oslo from up there was beautiful and he opened Instagram to put a picture of the view in his story.

“What are you doing? Is that view honestly more amazing than me?” Even asked from the bed and Isak rolled his eyes before he walked backwards and twirled as he raised his phone, flipping the camera. “Fine, I’ll post another fine view to my Instagram,” He said as he crawled up on the bed until he reached Even. He held the phone up high until they were both in the shot, “I mean you already outed me to the whole hotel, why not the whole internet?”

Even started laughing at that and Isak couldn’t help but lean over and kiss him, “shut up you dick.” The angle was weird though and it only made Even laugh harder. Isak sighed but raised his phone again, “fine, then I’m just taking a picture of us with you unable to keep your eyes open.” He took the picture and posted it, trying not to think about it too much.

He threw his phone next to him on the bed and leaned closer so he could unwrap the scarf from Even’s neck. Even raised his head from time to time so Isak could get it out of the way, his smile never fading.

When the scarf was gone Even rolled over, landing on top of Isak’s lower body, and looked up at him, “hey.” Isak looked down at his boyfriend and fixed a loose strand of hair, “hey.” Even pushed himself up a little and reached out to unzip Isak’s coat. Then he crawled up higher, until he could kiss Isak, his head tilted and tongue licking into Isak’s mouth. And Isak melted into it.

Even bit Isak’s lower lip softly, tugging playfully, before he broke the kiss. “I’ve been thinking about you all day,” Even admitted as he leaned over Isak, looking absolutely gorgeous. There was a spark in his eyes and his lips- God, Isak couldn’t think straight.

“Yeah?” He asked in return and he had to clear his throat, which made Even smile. “Yeah. You’re hard to forget, Isak. Someone as beautiful as you is hard to forget,” He replied as he touched Isak’s cheek carefully, as if he could break him if he wasn’t gentle enough.

Isak snorted with a sceptical frown, “what? Why do you keep calling me beautiful?” He could tell Even was in a mood, almost as if he was high, and they were meant as compliments, but all it did was make Isak feel nervous again. “Because you goddamn are,” Even answered, still looking down at him, “I mean, have you not seen yourself? Are you doubting me now? If Shakespeare was still alive he’d be writing sonnets about you. He would. And he’d write a story about us and it would put Romeo and Juliet to shame. Can’t you see it?”

Isak cocked one eyebrow and let out a breathless huff, “comparing us to the most iconic romance ever written? You really are high.” Even pulled back and sat up, taking off his own coat, “maybe. High on Isak Valtersen then,” he winked at Isak before he got up from the bed, his coat in hand. And Isak followed him.

They hung up their coats in the hallway and Even let his hand rest on Isak’s back for a moment as he passed him. It made Isak stop in his tracks for a second and think of this all. Maybe he was thinking too much, maybe Even just wanted to have some privacy away from everyone else and spend the night here. Maybe he was reading too much into it.

Somehow that thought disappointed him and he chuckled at himself, shaking his head. There was nothing to worry about or be nervous for. If something happened then it would. So far Isak had always been comfortable with them and with what they had done, and he had even initiated things on his own. Maybe he was just nervous because this time it was unknown territory. This was it for him and he was scared shitless that he wouldn’t know what to do with himself and therefore it would be shit. He clenched his hands and gave himself a short pep talk, but he needed something more. Just in case.

His phone was still on the bed and he took it as he watched Even playing around with the sound system they had in their room, unable to figure it out. Isak sat down on the sheets and opened his conversation with Eskild, who had already replied to his previous text. He read it and then started typing a question, forcing himself to hit send before he could make up his mind.

He felt his cheeks heat up and he looked up at Even for a second, who was still bent over trying to figure out how the system worked, “why do they have to complicate this shit so much,” he groaned in frustration, talking to himself.

Isak’s phone buzzed. He sighed and rolled his eyes at Eskild, but still decided now wasn’t the time to piss him off, not when he needed Eskild’s help.

Even finally managed to put on some music and Isak smiled at his little victory jump, “yes! I won, you devil. Now, play something other than this classical shit,” he mumbled, still talking to himself. “Try the Spotify button,” Isak suggested, seeing it from where he was sitting. “The what?” Even asked as he turned to Isak with a frown.

“Spotify. I forgot you’re not really into social media and shit, but you don’t know Spotify?” He laughed, “it’s that’s Icon with a green circle, with- yeah that one.” Isak’s phone buzzed and Even went back to the task at hand, “oh cool, I can look up songs now.”

Even put on a Nas song first and started singing along as he turned to Isak. Isak grinned at him, holding his phone loosely in his hand as Even crawled on the bed too. Isak knew this song, but he enjoyed watching Even sing. He fucked up some lyrics, laughed when he completely forgot and tried to get Isak to sing along.  Isak’s voice was softer and he only sang the parts he really knew just so he could listen to Even.

“Life’s a bitch and then you die, that’s why we get high. Cause you never know when you’re gonna go,” They sang together and Isak wished he had something to get high on to take the edge off. His phone buzzed and he made sure Even wasn’t looking when he opened the texts Eskild had sent.

He felt his mouth go dry and he was freaking out a little as he read Eskild’s words. So much to think about and it was hard not to now that he had all these images forming in his mind. Isak looked over at Even, who was on his back humming along to the end of the song, staring up at the ceiling, and he felt warmth spread through him. Fuck, he was so ready.

He quickly typed a reply to Eskild before he turned it on silent and put it away on the nightstand. When he turned back, Even was up again, picking a new song, “I want to dance with you. Know any cheesy songs?” He asked. He didn’t even really give Isak time to pick though, because a few seconds later the sound of a saxophone filled the room. Even looked at him, “please tell me you’ve seen Deadpool.” When Isak blinked, showing no recognition, Even threw his hands up in the air, “why do I even like you?”

He walked up to Isak as he continued talking, “Wham!? You must know Wham!. Last Christmas?” Isak nodded, “yeah, sure, I don’t know Deadpool though.” “It’s a super awesome movie where they break the fourth wall like a thousand times. Ryan Reynolds is perfect for the role. We’ll watch it together some time, we have to. Anyway, at the end of the movie he gets back his girl, of course, and he plays [Careless Whisper](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDKFPkM23Rc). It’s such a cliché,” Even said as he put his hands on Isak’s waist.

Their lips met just as the saxophone started again and Isak couldn’t help but laugh, ruining the kiss. “You’re such a movie nerd,” He told Even, who raised his eyebrows at him as if to ask why that was a bad thing. “I like it,” Isak added before he kissed him again, wrapping his arms around Even’s neck.

Isak should know that Even was dead serious about dancing with him and so he tried not to look surprised when Even started moving from the left to the right, his hands sliding to Isak’s hips to help him move along.  He pushed their bodies closer and Isak tightened his grip on Even’s neck. His boyfriend looked into his eyes and started singing along, “so I’m never gonna dance again, the way I danced with you.”

Even brought one hand down to Isak’s back, putting pressure with the palm of his hand so their hips were aligned and moved together. There was only one movie that this made Isak think of, one he had watched with Eva one night: Dirty dancing.

He licked his lips, feeling how dry they were now, and Even smiled as he rubbed their noses together softly. It may have been a fucking cliché at first, but it was no longer. They had made it their own, like that damn awful Gabrielle song. But just like everything else, the song came to an end. Even didn’t move away though, not before stealing another kiss.

Isak’s ears picked up the song that followed, one he did recognize. “Hey, I know this one though.” Even laughed, “oh thank god, you do know _some_ classics,” he said as he went to turn off ‘[Faith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu3VTngm1F0)’. “Give me a second, I know what song I want to play next.”


	11. Fredag 15:15 (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He stood up again, the two items in his hands, and took a deep breath with closed eyes. This was okay, he was okay. So what he was about to sleep with a guy? It didn’t make him any gayer than he already was. And Even made him happy, so fucking happy.  
> But it was still his first time.  
> \---  
> Or, part 2 of the hotel scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here goes nothing! The second part of the hotel scene where Isak sleeps with Even.  
> I am seriously so nervous about what you think of this. I haven't written smut in so long and I felt very nervous about this because I wanted to do their love justice. I'm not writing this for the sex, I'm writing for everything that happens around it. That's also why this isn't as descriptive when it comes to the actual sex, but still, I hope you enjoy it! Also, I obviously never experienced what fucking a guy is like, so yeah.  
> Also, I love the ideas you are all sending in and I'm definitely trying to write despite my current, hopefully not long-lasting, writer's block. But don't worry! I have Even's POV of the week after the hotel scene planned, so there will without a doubt be (at least) 2 more chapters to come! 
> 
> If you leave comments and kudos you literally make my day, I kid you not. If you want to leave a smile on my face.. you know what to do.
> 
> Takk!
> 
> p.s for everyone who doesn't know the music I'm talking about, I've added another link!

Isak twirled around and walked back to the window, staring at the spectacular view of Oslo visible from this side of the hotel. He could see the station, the water of the inner Oslo fjord and even some of the islands. He didn’t want to know how expensive this room was and how Even was going to pay for it. He just wanted to remember the view.

A new song finally filled the air and Isak raised his head. He knew this one. He remembered it very clearly too, because he had found it thanks to Even. It was the love theme from [Romeo and Juliet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JoOpx6VwHk&t=42s), played when Romeo first saw Juliet through the glass aquarium in the bathroom. It played while they fell in love, love at first sight, and Isak felt himself shiver.

A face appeared in the reflection of the windows, right next to his, and a pair of warm arms curled around his waist from behind. Just like Romeo had been staring at the fish and found his Juliet, Isak had been staring at the view and found his Even. He laughed briefly at the parallel, wanting to make a joke about how in a parallel universe, Romeo and Juliet were doing the same as them. And he would have if it wasn’t for the fact that Even’s lips were kissing his neck.

Even left soft, lingering kisses to Isak’s skin so lovingly and Isak tipped his head to the side to give him more access. He brought up his own hands to cover Even’s and his eyes closed when his boyfriend was pressed warm against his back. This was what he loved about Even; the way he always managed to surprise Isak in the best possible ways.

In the past these touches had always led to frantic kissing and then to rushed hand- or blowjobs, but now Even was taking his time. He left a trail of kisses up to Isak’s ear and then scratched his earlobe with his teeth. It made Isak want to laugh, but the way he felt inside wasn’t a laughing matter, not at all.

Even continued on, sucking a hickey into the skin of his shoulder just as he dropped one hand down Isak’s body to cup him through his jeans, and Isak helplessly threw his head back against Even’s shoulder as a gasp left his mouth. Jesus, fucking-. Even laughed into his ear, his voice low and rough and he sounded so turned on that it made Isak’s insides turn into liquid.

Even turned him around then, his eyes roaming over Isak’s face, lingering on his lips before their eyes met. Isak knew the look Even was giving him. He was asking for permission to take this further, waiting patiently for Isak to give him the green light like he had done so often before. It was the same look as he had given Isak the night they made up, the night where Even was suddenly at his door. Even always asked for permission and Isak always gave it.

Isak tugged Even into a rough kiss and there they were again, back to the way they were, and Isak realised that they could never truly take this slow. And Even responded just as predicted. He pressed Isak up against the windowsill, the tiles hurting his back where they were digging into him, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care because maybe his back hurt, but his lips were being loved.

Isak took it further by rolling his hips against Even’s, daring himself to let go for a while, and Even made an appreciative sound against his mouth. His fingers curled into the belt loops of Isak’s jeans and he yanked him along as he started walking them backwards.

Isak kept his arms curled around Even’s neck until they reached the bed, where Even sat on the edge and pulled Isak between his legs. His hands let go of Isak’s jeans and started to push his shirt upwards, revealing skin, until Isak got the hint and pulled it off. It landed somewhere on the ground behind him, but he didn’t bother picking it up. Even’s hands trailed down Isak’s chest and he pulled him closer so he could kiss his stomach, down to his navel, while Isak leaned his hands on Even’s shoulders, eyes closed, and he swallowed hard, “ _Even._ ”

Even’s grip on him tightened for a second before he let go and Isak could see his hands were shaking as he tried to unbutton Isak’s jeans. The button popped and Even wanted to pull down the zipper too, but Isak took hold of his hands and withdrew them. He pushed Even down on the bed and kissed him again, slow and languid, as he crawled on top of him. Even’s hands moved to delicately touch Isak’s naked lower back, which was good because that way Isak could slowly feel the trembling of Even’s hands stop.

Now that Isak was on top and Even was being submissive instead of taking back control, Isak wanted to take his time with him too. He didn’t go for his shirt, no, Isak went for his jeans, taking calming breaths as he worked on the zipper. “Lift,” He said just when Even raised his hips up and Isak pulled the jeans to mid-thigh before moving back on the bed so he could take it off completely.

From there Isak had a stunning view of Even’s body. His shirt had ridden up a little, exposing a happy trail and strong hipbones he had seen before. He could tell Even was hard already, but he lay there patiently waiting for Isak to go on. It was honestly a sight to die for.  

Isak pushed his own jeans over his ass and kicked them off as he crept back up to hang over Even’s body. He kissed down his left hipbone before switching to the right where he bit down teasingly, making Even’s hips buck up involuntarily. He knew it was one of Even’s favourite spots.

“Isak. Isak,” Even already seemed to be so out of it and Isak felt pride in his chest, because he had done that. He made Even lose it just as much as his boyfriend made him. Their mouths crashed together again and Even bucked up his hips, this time with purpose. The friction felt rough with layers of fabric in the way, but neither of them cared much. They wouldn’t be wearing underwear for much longer anyway.

Even sat himself up, keeping their lips attached as he pushed Isak up with him so Isak was sitting in Even’s lap, one knee on either side of him. He helped Even with his shirt, which he threw across the room, and Isak smiled as he cupped Even’s face, staring into his beautiful blue eyes, “man of my life,” he whispered with a smile.

Usually they didn’t talk much, too busy kissing each other and lost in their touches, but this was special enough for Isak to open his mouth and be as cheesy as Even had been earlier. He wanted to remember this moment.

Even’s hands were on his back, holding him close, and he smirked back at Isak in a way that made his stomach turn in somersaults. “Man of my life,” Even returned the words before he flipped them over, the bed big enough for them to not fall off.

Even was kissing him again and he hoisted one of Isak’s legs up to wrap around his hip as he lowered his body to Isak’s. It wasn’t close enough. It was never close enough. Lips travelled back to his neck, Even’s nose nuzzling his jawline before his lips softly sucked more bruises on Isak’s skin.

Isak moved his hands down Even’s back until his fingertips reached his underwear. He tried to get it off, but Even was keeping him down and he couldn’t reach far enough. He whined softly and Even snickered, obviously amused and absolutely pleased with himself, but released his grip on Isak slightly so he could finally get it down far enough that he could touch.

Even’s hands trailed down his sides, tickling him slight, and all Isak could think was how he never wanted to stop touching again. The feeling of his skin against Even’s was electrifying and he honestly couldn’t imagine how sex could be any better than this, being so close together, but oh was he wrong.

Even sucked two fingers into his mouth and then reached behind himself, “there’s- in my bag,” he gasped breathlessly as he stared down at Isak and Isak nodded as he got out from underneath Even. He walked to the hallway with shaking hands and wobbly knees and he fumbled as he rummaged through Even’s bag. He found a plastic bag with a pack of condoms and a bottle of lube and Isak felt a blush rise as he thought of how, yes, Even had planned this.

He stood up again, the two items in his hands, and took a deep breath with closed eyes. This was okay, he was okay. So what he was about to sleep with a guy? It didn’t make him any gayer than he already was. And Even made him happy, so fucking happy.

But it was still his first time.

He remembered Eskild’s advice. ‘relax. Don’t be afraid to show how he makes you feel’. He was right about that. Show him how you feel… In a swift movement he took off his underwear and left it there. It wasn’t as if Even had never seen him naked before anyway.

It felt strange to walk back completely naked, but when he saw Even on the bed all his shame evaporated. His boyfriend was lying pushed up against the pillows, his head tipped back and his eyes closed as he worked two fingers inside of himself.

It was the most captivating image Isak had ever seen and he just knew he would never be able to forget the heart-stopping feeling he had that moment. He was sure the heat that flared up in him didn’t just reach his cheeks but reddened him all the way down to his chest. He swallowed dryly as he stood there, staring at him, and Even opened his eyes and stared back at him. They were communicating without words, and Even’s eyes said so much, but Isak didn’t catch it all.

His boyfriend licked his lips, “well, are you coming or what?” He uttered, his voice still so beautifully hoarse. Isak didn’t have to be asked twice, although he did move slowly and deliberately until he sat between Even’s legs. He traced a path up Even’s thighs with his fingertips, feeling them quiver beneath his touch, and Even kept his eyes on Isak’s face while Isak couldn’t look away from Even’s body.

He didn’t want to sit and stare though, he wanted to make Even _feel_. He wanted to hear him say Isak’s name with that raspy voice he got once he was close to orgasm. And so he leaned over and started by pressing feather light kisses to Even’s skin, kissing down his stomach but never quite getting where Even wanted him.

“ _Isak,_ ” There it was. Not as far gone yet as usual, but Isak smiled against Even’s hip nonetheless. He knew what Even was begging for and he nuzzled his abdomen before he gave in and went down on him. It wasn’t as easy with Even’s hand right there under his face and so Isak pulled back, making his boyfriend whine.

Isak wasn’t teasing though. He popped the cap of the bottle of lube and covered his fingers. Even seemed to understand what he was doing, for he was staring at Isak in surprise. It surprised them both, but he tried not to think of why it did. Instead he nudged Even’s hand away and replaced it with his own before Even could ask any questions.

With his hands now free Even tangled his fingers in Isak’s hair, tugging softly whenever he made a sound. Isak tried to focus on what his fingers were doing, but he truly had no idea if it was any good. Even wasn’t exactly complaining, but he felt unsure of himself because they had never done this. He felt relieved when he could actually hear Even was starting to lose it and he pulled back because he didn’t want him to come yet. That wasn’t the purpose of this.

He sat back and wiped his fingers on the sheets, feeling they were still sticky from the lube, but Even gave him no time to think about it. He pushed himself up on his knees so he could kiss Isak and he stopped the rush for a second, making sure Isak was looking at him.

“Are you sure?” He asked, no teasing in his voice. Their bodies were aligned, their skin hot to the touch, but everything paused. It was a serious question and it made Isak realise that no matter the fact that they had gotten this far, Even was still giving him the chance to say no if he wanted to.

He didn’t want to.

“Yes,” Isak promised, the word sounding certain, but still Even searched his eyes to see if there really was no lie there. He swept his thumb over Isak’s cheekbone, “yeah?” he asked once more for approval and Isak nodded and smiled, “yeah.”

Even smiled back at him and apparently he believed him, because moments later they were kissing again, arms wrapped around each other. But Isak’s skin felt like it was on fire and he didn’t want to wait any longer and so he begged, barely audible, “please.”

Even pulled Isak down with him and rolled on top of him, sitting on his thighs as he reached over for the pack of condoms that lay next to them on the bed. Isak watched him unwrap the plastic cover with his teeth before quick fingers worked on the pack and ripped one of them open. This clearly wasn’t the first time Even did this and somehow that only reassured Isak that this would be okay. At least one of them knew what they were doing.

Even rolled on the condom as Isak bit his lip to stop himself from making any sounds, and he dipped down for a quick kiss before he picked up the lube too. Isak whimpered quietly as Even touched him, getting him worked up again, and the sound turned into a whine, but he waited patiently for Even to get ready. The last thing he wanted was to hurt him.

Even supported himself with his left hand on Isak’s chest as he raised himself up and Isak had barely realised that, holy shit this was happening now, before Even sank down on him inch by inch. The air escaped from Isak’s lungs and he stared up wide eyed to watch Even’s face, a concentrated frown on his forehead. And still he was beautiful, so unfairly beautiful and perfect, and for a split second Isak felt undeserving of him.

His boyfriend gasped for air, his head thrown back in his neck, when Isak was in all the way and he sat still for a minute as he tried to adjust. His head tipped back over until it hung and he looked at Isak as he controlled his breathing, he could see his chest rise and fall with every inhale and exhale.

Isak had to force himself not to move because Even felt _so good._ A lifetime of jokes about sex with the guys, of silently judging Eskild for meeting up with guys just for sex, but really, he had nothing on them now. Absolutely nothing.

And then Even started to fucking _move_ and Isak lost whatever was left of his composure. His mouth fell open as he had to catch his breath instantly. Even rolled his hips and he looked so fucking breath-taking like this that Isak felt a sting of jealousy towards everyone who had ever seen him like this.

“Isak,” Even panted, sounding so sensual, his voice dripping desire, and Isak responded by moving with him. Their movements were slow at first, getting used to each other, but they had always been in sync. They didn’t need words to get this right.

Even held Isak’s face in his hands, kissing him so passionately Isak forgot to breathe for a second. And his lips never strayed far away whether they were kissing or not.

Isak held on to Even’s shoulders as he sped up the rhythm and Isak could hear the way their skin slapped together every time their bodies met. Even was fervently kissing him, his lips, his chin, down to his neck and his hands wandered over Isak’s body, never really settling. It drove Isak absolutely insane.

He pressed his nails into Even’s skin and dragged them down his shoulders, hearing Even’s breath stop. He paused for a moment before doing it again and Even visibly shivered this time. His boyfriend bit down on his collarbone and Isak realised that Even liked this. He moved his fingertips across Even’s back, keeping the touch light until he reached his ass and then used his nails again on the way up, making Even whimper even louder.

He smiled as Even kissed him hard once again, licking into his mouth and coaxing a moan from Isak’s lips, but then he broke the kiss and stopped moving. Isak looked up as if to ask if something was wrong, because Even pulled off, moving down Isak’s chest while leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses on his way there. “What-“ Isak started, but Even hushed him and fell down next to him.

Isak didn’t follow until Even spread his legs for him and reached out to take Isak’s hand in his. The hold was warm and intimate, and Isak stared at their hands for a second, “oh.” Even was letting him take control, was asking for it, and Isak finally felt out of place. He didn’t want to let his inexperience ruin this, but Even seemed to trust him.

So Isak settled himself between Even’s legs, staring down into his eyes for a moment and then he roughly pulled him down by his waist until their hips met. Even was staring up at him in wonder, as if he couldn’t believe Isak was really there with him, that Isak was really doing this to him, and Isak imagined he looked no different.

Even tipped his head back as he waited for Isak to make the next move and Isak lifted one of Even’s legs up around his hip, just like Even had done before, and slid home. He watched Even’s eyes flutter shut and Isak understood what it felt like to be in control now he was on top. Even looked so open and trusting, like he knew Isak would give him everything he longed for and maybe even more.

He started rocking his hips, quick and short thrusts that made Even pant and his mouth drop open further. His hands came up to brush Isak’s curls away and touch his cheek lovingly, but it wasn’t what Isak wanted at this point. He wanted to make Even experience the same desperation he had felt the moment he had felt what it was like to be inside of Even.

Isak picked up the pace, going much faster and deeper, one of his hands squeezing Even’s hip, and for a second it felt like watching someone else. For a second it felt like this wasn’t him, but it was. He was here, fucking a guy and loving it, because it was Even.

Even cried out his name and it pulled Isak out of his thoughts. He looked down and felt that same pride and yearning he had felt when he saw Even touching himself. This man was his, the man of his life, and fuck it if Isak wasn’t damn proud to be with him.

Isak entwined their fingers as he kept pushing into Even, shoving him into the mattress, and Even kept making these delightful little sounds that made Isak’s head spin with pleasure. He tried not to kiss him, wanting to hear everything Even let out for him, but it was hard to resist.

Isak could tell Even was losing it so he curled his free hand around Even’s cock, stroking in time with his thrusts, and Even let out a long whimper that turned into a soundless gasp. His legs started to quiver again and he gazed up straight into Isak’s eyes as he reached his orgasm. Isak saw it happening, felt it happening, the way Even arched his back off the bed. The feeling knocked the breath out of him and it made him topple over, coming while Even softly brushed through his hair.

They shared a look together, both of them breathing erratically, and Isak felt such love he never wanted to leave that bed again. Even pulled him in for a kiss and somehow it felt different. Isak felt different about Even, a good different, but different nonetheless. He wanted to use the word love, but felt much too scared to. No words needed to be said anyway, because with them their actions spoke much louder. Even’s drawings, his smiles, the raising of his eyebrows; they all told Isak what he needed to know and so words were obsolete.

He kissed Even again, trying to convey what had been on his mind, and he loved him in his own way. And when Even wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, he closed his eyes and let warmth envelop him.

_Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged._


	12. Lørdag 01:28 – Torsdag 21:34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even wondered how much of his pain was due to his broken heart. It didn’t make much sense to him that a boy he had known for only a few months could leave him feeling this shattered inside. He had felt everything shift in that hotel room with Isak, their kisses feeling heavenly and Even had felt so sure this was what it felt like to meet your soulmate. But it had been his mania and it had led to their downfall.  
> \---  
> Or, part 1 of the week after Even’s Mania.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit.. 650 kudos!! Get me 700 and I'll post an extra long part tomorrow haha! No, but really. I feel honoured by all the attention you give this story. Thank you for making the hours put into this so worth it! 
> 
> So now onto Even's week after his mania. I want to specifically mention that this was one of the hardest to write, because we know absolutely nothing about what Even did after he left the hotel. Nothing is said about it and so I was left guessing, but that's what this fic is all about: using what the show has hinted at and writing what I think could have happened.
> 
> Keep the love coming, it's the best motivation that helps me write :--)  
> Follow my tumblr for more skam: evenogisakk.tumblr.com  
> My twitter: goldndeys

**Lørdag 01:28 – Torsdag 21:34**

Even was tired, so fucking tired, he felt like he hadn’t slept in months. His bones hurt and his heart felt heavy. All energy was drained from his body and all feelings were dulled by his medicines. It turned him into a shell of who he used to be without anything to fill it. At least for now, because this was always a temporary thing.

Sonja was on watch, she hadn’t left since the police had let him go, and occasionally Even could hear her talking to his parents. He didn’t often leave his room though, so he didn’t have to deal with them. He spent most of his time asleep or crying until he fell asleep, but from time to time he would get out his phone and listen to some music. He sent Isak a bunch of lyrics, trying in some way to make him understand how he was feeling. Anything to hang on to whatever was left of them.

He dreamed about Isak a lot, which felt both like heaven and like torture. Even the good memories caused pain now, because they were over. He couldn’t believe the way it had ended, how it had all gone to hell. He had hoped things would be okay for a while longer so Isak could have gotten to know him and that way he had hoped to increase the chance of him staying once he would get an episode. But it had come too soon and now Isak wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

_Hi Even. I don’t understand shit right now. Stop texting me._

Even wondered how much of his pain was due to his broken heart. It didn’t make much sense to him that a boy he had known for only a few months could leave him feeling this shattered inside. He had felt everything shift in that hotel room with Isak, their kisses feeling heavenly and Even had felt so sure this was what it felt like to meet your soulmate. But it had been his mania and it had led to their downfall.

On Monday Sonja went to work, but his mother stayed and she came into his room around two o’clock, sitting down in the windowsill with a cup of tea. She didn’t speak, she just sat there in silence until her cup was empty, but it was nice to have her presence. It was a check-up without words that Even could deal with.

An hour later she left him a glass of water and a slice of toast together with his medicine in that same windowsill, silently forcing him to get out of bed, and he did. He sat in the windowsill, in Isak’s spot, and took his medicine and ate two thirds of the toast. Then he slipped out to use the bathroom. His mother smiled at him from the couch, but she didn’t bother him with any questions and didn’t look sad or surprised when he returned to his bedroom. By now this was all part of daily life, no matter how much it hurt Even to know it influenced his family so much.

On Tuesday he took his sketchbook with him to bed and he flopped down onto his stomach as he tried to draw. It was the first time in months where he felt nothing coming out of him. No inspiration at all, not even negative inspiration. The paper was empty apart from a few scribbles in the corners. He sighed and curled up on his side, feeling tears of frustration ruin his mood. And just like that he had slipped back down. He closed the book and pushed it out of his bed, and it fell on the floor with a loud thud.

Sonja came in to see what had happened and Even watched her frown at him worryingly. She walked up to his bed and her eyes peered up at his, “why don’t you come out for a little while and talk to me? It doesn’t matter about what, I want to listen to whatever you have to say.” Usually this could have, and probably would have, worked. But Sonja was no longer the one he felt close to. She wasn’t Isak. He pulled the covers up a little higher and turned away so he was facing the wall. Sonja stood there a while longer, although she didn’t make a sound, but eventually she left.

On Wednesday his phone died. Even had been trying to come up with something to text to Isak all morning, but he really shouldn’t send anything. If Isak had wanted to talk to him he would have. It wasn’t up to Even to reach out this time. Besides, he didn’t even know if Isak knew about what exactly had happened and most of all why it had happened, but none of it mattered. Isak had been clear: stop texting me. And so Even put his phone away and forgot about it.

He slept most of the afternoon again and woke up feeling hungry. So he climbed out of bed and wrapped himself in a blanket before he walked to the living room. His mother was sitting on the couch, watching some TV show. Even was pretty sure she hadn’t left the house since Friday and that made him feel guilty, but she smiled at her son nonetheless, “hey.” Even sat down next to her, “hey. I’m hungry,” his voice sounded rough from the lack of use over the past few days.

His mother put a hand on his knee for a moment before she got up, “I’ll get you something.” She left silently and Even stared at the TV. His mother was watching some game show and he snorted at how stupid it looked. The smile only stayed there for a few seconds though, because karma decided to fuck with him some more and threw in a guy named Isak.

His mother returned with a cup of soup for both of them and sat down next to him, dropping her head to his shoulder. It was nice, because over the years she had tried so hard to figure out what to do around him and when to leave him alone or not, and he felt grateful for her. She didn’t try to make him talk, didn’t baby him, she was just there for him. In a way she knew better how to deal with him than Sonja, even though Sonja claimed to know what was best for him. But he remembered his mother reading books and literally keeping track of what worked and what didn’t. He had the best mother.

On Thursday Sonja came over and switched posts with his mother so she could go out to do groceries. Even didn’t come out though, instead he sat in his windowsill and drew his first cartoon in a week. He stared outside to the leaves blowing around in the wind and listened to the rain against his window. What would Isak be doing? He remembered sitting there with him, the window open and the sun shining in, illuminating Isak’s beautiful face. He remembered Isak’s smile and the way they kept staring at each other. It felt like that was years ago.

He put his sketchbook down and padded to the living room with bare feet. “Sonja?” He asked her once he spotted her on the couch. She was reading some book, her feet up, and she looked at ease. This was kind of like a second family to her, which was why it was strange not to think of her as his girlfriend anymore. Sonja looked up at him with a surprised look on her face, “oh, Even. Hi,” she said while closing her book. He sat down next to her and she sat up straighter, folding her legs, “what’s going on?” she asked.

Even looked down at his hands and cleared his throat, “you broke a promise. You’ve never done that before.” Sonja sounded confused when she replied, “what promise?” Even looked up at her and smiled softly, not out of happiness but out of some kind of fondness, “the one where you said you’d cut me off if I broke up with you.” Sonja looked startled then but slowly she started smiling back at him, “yeah, well, it’s just not that easy to let you go, especially when you’re like this.” Even nodded and hummed, “still. Thank you. I know I wasn’t very appreciative the last two months and I’m not here to make up with you, but I’m still thankful you came looking for me even after I hurt you.”

He looked away again and pulled up his legs, wrapping his arms around his knees to keep them against his chest. “I wanted to talk to you about Isak though. Will you let me?” He asked her. He knew it was a long shot, because Sonja probably wanted nothing to do with Isak. After all Isak was the reason they were no longer together, no matter if their break up was long overdue or not, Isak had been the final blow. “Okay, sure,” Sonja replied calmly, which surprised him. Maybe she had realised they were really over.

Even had to compose himself for a moment before he started talking, “so I know Isak wants nothing to do with people like me. His mother is mentally ill and he has banned her from his life and so I should accept that we will never be anything the way we were. But I can’t. I haven’t seen him since Friday and I don’t- maybe if I explain what is wrong with me and why I walked out, just maybe he’ll understand.” As he was talking he realised how stupid it sounded, “because- I mean. He thinks I walked out on him and maybe he thinks that I did that because I don’t want to be with him, like last time, and that’s not the truth. It’s not, so should I go talk to him?”

Sonja immediately averted her gaze when Even met it and there was guilt written all over his face, combined with, maybe, sadness? “I’m sorry Even,” She started, “but I don’t think that it’s that simple.” He didn’t understand, but Sonja sighed, took one of his hands and started explaining, “that night when you ran out, Isak called me to say something had happened and he didn’t understand. He was already out there looking for you and thanks to him we found you so quickly. And when the police called to tell me you were fine, I went to see Isak to tell him that we found you. Not only that though. I also- I told him that you were manic. He knows, Even. He has known since that night.”

Even stared at her without blinking. The void inside that he had so carefully filled with hope was now suddenly empty again, the pain of rejection flooding back through his veins. This time though, it was real rejection. It wasn’t imagined, because now he was sure that Isak knew. And Isak had known when he told him to stop texting. And so it was over.

“What?” He asked her quietly, whispering the word. She bit her lip, looking desperate as she tried to explain herself, “he deserved to know, Even. He was so worried about you, running around the streets with your clothes. I could see it in his eyes. He wanted to know why you were with the police and I couldn’t lie. If it had been you what would you have said? Would you have lied? What lie would be good enough to make him believe you were sane.”

Even pulled his hand back and blinked rapidly as he felt tears ready to burst. This really wasn’t Sonja’s fault though, because she was right. What could he have said to make Isak believe that it was a sane thing to walk the streets without any clothes on? Who would think that was funny at all?

Sonja didn’t stop him when he got up and turned away from her, but she did speak up when he paused at the door, his hand shaking on the doorknob. “You really have feelings for him, don’t you?” She asked and Even felt like this was a joke. Was she only just now realising that? What did she think, that he had been lying to her to get out of their relationship? “Yeah,” he whispered before he opened the door and left her there by herself again.


	13. Fredag 0:00 – Fredag 21:30 (post chapter 12)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The door was still open, thankfully, and Even pushed it with heavy limbs. He watched the reflection of the streetlights on the wet ground and he slowly looked up when he saw something moving in that reflection from the corner of his eyes. And then he froze. He literally froze, stopping in motion as he saw Isak standing there.  
> \---  
> Or, part 2 of the week after Even's Mania.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT YOU GOT ME 730 KUDOS!!?!???! I am shocked and baffled and so freaking happy I can't put it into words.  
> The fact that you all appreciate my writing and think it's realistic.. thank you from the bottom of my heart!  
> This part is a present, a tad longer than usual. Still, I had to cut it somewhere, but part 3 will be up tomorrow and will continue where this ends.
> 
> For now, I wish you all a Happy New Year, may 2017 be so much better than 2016 and may Skam continue to bring us together. Thank you so much, Takk, bedankt, for all of your comments, kudos and hits so far. I am being proud that I can put a smile on your faces. 
> 
> With love,  
> Dyanne  
> (tumblr: evenogisakk)

**Fredag 0:00 –** **Fredag 21:30**

He didn’t sleep that night. His heartbeat wouldn’t slow down and his thoughts wouldn’t stop racing. He stared at the ceiling and let everything come over him. Every feeling and every thought was welcome, because all he wanted was to get it out of his system. He tried to see the whole picture, to let everything what Sonja had said fall into place, but it made him freak out to a point where he was almost hyperventilating and pulling his hair out. He was desperate, so desperate and in so much fucking pain it felt like he was going to die.

On Friday he watched the sun get up completely, staring into it rebelliously until all he could see were dark circles clouding his vision. His limbs hurt as he climbed out of bed, descending the stairs with tiny steps. He put away his sketchbook and plugged his phone into a socket to let it charge.

He got out fresh clothes and took them with him to the bathroom. Then he ran himself a bath and sank into the hot water. It eased the hurt enough to relax a little and think things through. It was time for him to say goodbye to Isak and move on to life after Isak. He felt like the ending of this chapter deserved and needed a proper end though, because he hadn’t been able to move past it yet, and he decided to make the day about remembering them.

So he closed his eyes and sank further into the water, his head disappearing under and he tried to hold his breath. He thought back to their first kiss and how he had deliberately planned it to be in a pool after watching too much Romeo and Juliet. If only Isak had pushed him away then, maybe they wouldn’t be here. But then again he wouldn’t have all these beautiful memories of them, and it wasn’t as if Isak not returning his feelings would have made a difference. Even had been lost from the moment he had laid his eyes on Isak.

When the water went cold he pulled the plug out, but he sat there until all the water had drained and he started feeling cold. He dressed in a black hoodie and jeans and he even brushed his hair before he went back to his bedroom. He paused at the door and took a deep breath before he tried to remember everything that reminded him of Isak in this room. Get it out of his system. Him and Isak sharing a joint in the windowsill, talking about Nas. Him and Isak on the floor eating that disgusting cheese toastie for kosegruppa purposes. Him and Isak rapping together, or well, trying to.

He took a shuddering breath and let it go, purposefully walking into the room and gathering his things. He turned on his phone and a ton of notifications came in all at once. There were texts from Sonja, apologising for what she had done, and texts from friends asking why he wasn’t at school.

He saw that he had one missed call from Isak and he hated how that made his heart jump again, like he didn’t know enough to be sure that Isak wanted nothing to do with him. But still, despite all of that, Isak had called him. There was a message that followed the call and all Even could see was the heart at the end of it. What did it mean? Had he been wrong? Had Isak made up his mind or was he just being polite?

He stared at the text intently and tried to decide what to do about this. The last thing he wanted was for his heart to break again, but if Isak had made up his mind then-. No, no, he would only end up hurting Isak again and in the end it would all lead to more heartache.

He tucked his phone into his pocket and rushed out of his room to get his shoes and a coat. As he wrapped a scarf tightly around his neck his mother stuck her head around the corner, looking alarmed, “son? What are you doing?” she asked. Even looked at her, “there’s something I need to do. I- I think I’ll be back, but if I’m not then I’m with Isak.”

She looked a little distressed, but she knew who Isak was so she didn’t ask, “alright. Please let me know, okay? I want to know you’re safe.” She looked anxious, which Even understood, because this could go anywhere, but at the end of the day she trusted him. She trusted him to do the right thing and ask for help if he needed it. And right now he had to do this by himself.

He opened the front door and walked out, into the cold December air. He took his bike and cycled around town, stopping from time to time. He stopped at the house with the pool, this time staying outside but looking at it from the window. The boy who couldn’t breathe under water. He felt like he could stay there forever, but then he heard a door open and he pushed himself up. A woman looked at him, taken aback by the fact she just found someone on the ground next to her house, but before she could open her mouth and ask, Even was off. He rushed back to his bike and heard the woman yell, “hey, it’s you again!” He laughed, and he let go.

His next stop was at kaffebrenneriet where he ordered a cup of coffee. He vividly remembered the smile on Isak’s face when he drew a heart on the window after he had fogged it up with his breath. He remembered them meeting at that exact table many times after school when they had plans to hang out together. How often he had wanted to kiss Isak when he sat there looking warm and pleased with his hands around a cup of coffee and a smile on his face. He wondered if he would ever be able to come there and not think about Isak. He told himself there were enough cafés around that he could go to from now on, and he let go.

He took his half-finished coffee and got on his bike again, cycling more slowly now. He stopped at the hotel they had gone to the week before. He parked his bike and sat outside, staring up at the building and the way it seemed to go on forever. A few of the happiest moments of his life were linked to this hotel. It was such a stupid thing to realise, that making love to Isak and talking shit about weddings while he was reaching the boiling point of his mania were considered the happiest moments of his life. But it had everything to do with the way Isak had looked at him and the way he had acted, like he had finally accepted himself being with Even. How he had just given Even himself without doubting him once. There had been trust and love in that hotel room before Even had fucked it up. He closed his eyes, made the hotel disappear from his sight, and he let go.

Even finished his almost-cold-coffee there and got on his bike again. He drove around the neighbourhood for a while before he made his way to school. It was now past five o’clock already and he was lucky he could still get into the building. The school was deserted now it was Friday afternoon, but Even had most of their memories to relive right there where it had all started.

The cafeteria was dark and everything had been cleaned up already, but slowly Even walked to the table he had sat at the first day, sitting down in the same chair, and he stared across the room to where Isak had been. The first spark. He closed his eyes and brought back the image to mind of Isak with a hand full of whipped cream, tipping his head back in laughter and looking absolutely stunning. His laugh filling the air and how it had lured Even in until he was fixated on him and nothing else. He forced his eyes open again, and he let go.

He walked down the hallway and stopped at Isak’s locker. He remembered all the moments they shared there, no matter how insignificant. Planning the Christmas party, Isak struggling to open his locker, putting in drawings. He checked the code to see if it still worked and sure enough the locker opened without any issues. He saw Isak’s books and one of his earlier drawings lay there too. He folded it open and stared at them in cartoon form. It made him miss Isak, but he closed the locker, and he let go.

Talking to Isak in the dressing room, going to that first kosegruppa meeting just for Isak, he passed all those memories and let them go as if they belonged to someone else now. Until his last stop.

The bathroom wasn’t anything special, but he remembered exactly how important it had been for him and Isak, because it led to their first contact. It had been the first tiny snowflake connecting to the next, making up a tiny snowball that had kept rolling further until it had gotten too big and smashed into a wall into a million pieces, into nothingness.

He remembered Isak slipping away from the kosegruppa meeting fairly early and Even thought he had left, but then when he went to the bathroom after the stupid activity Vilde had insisted on, and he heard video game sounds from one of the stalls he knew Isak was only hiding.

His first plan had been to get out of the bathroom again as soon as possible, way too nervous and unsure to make a goddamn move, like he had been all night, but as he stood there washing his hands he made up his mind. It had been long enough. This was his chance to stop admiring from afar and really talk to Isak. Forcing himself to say something to Isak didn’t make it any easier though, because what could he say to make Isak want to get to know him?

And then Isak had come out of his stall and Even could feel his eyes on him. He had been freaking out inside, still so unsure of what to do or say to impress him. ‘Do something’ had repeated itself in his head like a mantra, and when he reached to pull out the first tissue to dry off his hands, he just kept going. It wasn’t a deliberate move, but as he stood there all he could think was ‘go big or go home’.

When he had finally looked up, Isak had been staring, and that had been all he needed to open his mouth to him. And now they were at a point where they weren’t talking anymore. Somehow this memory was harder to let go of.

Even locked himself in the stall where Isak had been in all those weeks ago and put down the lid of the toilet. He sat down and leaned on his legs, trying to think and let himself feel whatever was raging through him. Was this really the ending he needed? Letting Isak go without speaking to him again? But all the more so, if he wanted to say something, what could he say to make Isak understand how he had felt?

He pulled out his phone. It was almost nine o’clock. He had a text from his mother, asking where he was and if he was okay, and he quickly texted back that things were fine and lied that he was with Isak. Then he opened the chat with Isak and stared at the screen, trying to think of what to say.

In a way this was the test that had once been a reason for Even to stay away from Isak. He wanted to see if this was really the end or if Isak was willing to fight for them. Because although Even didn’t believe that was true, Isak had sent a heart with his last text. He swallowed and started typing, scratching everything, and then typing new words which he then deleted as well. This was much harder than he had expected.

Eventually he decided to let his heart do the talking instead of his mind.  It turned into something that felt like an ending. He was sure that once Isak read it, he should feel the same. It was now or never. Even’s heart was on his sleeve, all he felt embodied in that text, and now it was up to Isak to reply.

He hit send.

And then he waited. He sat there in silence, listening for footsteps or a door opening, although he knew it had barely been a few minutes. He tried not to look at his phone to see how much time had passed, but he did check it twice, until he saw the ‘read 20:53’ sign. Isak had read it.

Waiting was absolute torture and with every passing minute he felt the hope that had grown so quickly, die down just as fast. He checked his phone and saw it had almost been half an hour. He closed his eyes and swallowed. It was hard to shake off, but he still tried, and he got up even if it was with slumped shoulders. He would get over it eventually. Hopefully. He put his phone away and washed his hands out of habit before he left the bathroom. He pulled up the hood of his jacket.

And he let go.

The door was still open, thankfully, and Even pushed it with heavy limbs. He watched the reflection of the streetlights on the wet ground and he slowly looked up when he saw something moving in that reflection from the corner of his eyes. And then he froze. He literally froze, stopping in motion as he saw Isak standing there.

Isak looked frantic but beautiful, like he’d been running around. And Even couldn’t believe he was there. Isak; out of breath and looking for him. Isak; the love he thought he had truly lost. He was there.

Why?

Isak started walking up to him and Even’s feet carried him to meet him in the middle. He didn’t know what to expect from this. Why was Isak there? What was he going to say? He didn’t want to feel that spark of hope growing inside of him again. It had let him down too often. Oh please, God, don’t let this hurt too much.

Isak took the last few steps, until he was standing right in front of Even, and came even closer, their foreheads pressing together. Even let his head droop a little, leaning into it until their noses brushed together too.

He expect Isak to kiss him or to start talking, but Isak did neither. Even felt Isak’s lips softly ghosting over his skin, nose touching his cheekbone, before he moved back and let their noses briefly touch again. Even closed his eyes and let himself feel Isak so close to him that his breath could be felt against his skin. Isak nuzzled his other cheek then, never straying far away, and left a soft lingering kiss on his jawline.

Even wanted to kiss him, he wanted to kiss him and forget everything that had happened, but Isak wouldn’t let him. At least not just yet. His hands came up to hold Even’s face in his, making him look up at him. There was sadness in Isak’s eyes and Even hated to see that. He had done that, he had made this beautiful boy sad. But Isak shook his head as if he could read Even’s mind and wanted to tell him he was wrong. And then Isak opened his mouth.

“You’re not alone,” The words were barely a whisper, but they were there.

Even looked down and felt an overwhelming warmth wrap itself around the pain he still felt. It wasn’t the pain he felt because of Isak though. It was the pain that came with his depression, the pain that inevitably came with being bipolar. But here Isak stood, telling him he wasn’t alone. Even could only describe it as a war inside of him. And one would have to win.

Isak stayed patient as Even let this all settle in, giving him time to keep himself together. But then he let his thumbs brush over Even’s cheeks and he brought their faces closer together again. He waited though, he waited for something that would tell him he wasn’t moving too fast. He waited for Even to be okay with this. And he was.

The kiss felt like a new beginning, but more than anything it felt like acceptance from Isak. Isak had come for him, Isak was willing to accept all of him. And when Isak pulled back and stared into Even’s eyes again, there was nothing there that made Even want to run.

And when Isak wrapped his arms around Even’s neck and hugged him tightly, Even clung to him, part of him fighting tears of pain, but most of all fighting tears of relief. And Isak didn’t let go, not for what felt like forever. Even was shivering, his eyes wet, but Isak didn’t comment when he looked at him. He only wiped them away and smiled softly as he asked him, “do you want me to take you home?”

Even wondered for a second if Isak was only here to pick him up and drop him off at home, but then he went on, “or do you want to come with me?” Isak sounded uncertain, like he didn’t know what was the right way to approach Even now and that made him smile. His voice protested after such a long time of silence, it was barely a whisper which made him clear and repeat himself, “come with you.”


	14. Fredag 21:30 (post chapter 13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t belong with you,” He said instead, instantly regretting the words when he saw Isak’s face fall. “I mean,” He continued, “in this universe. I’m not the right Even in this universe.” He frowned at himself for being so awful at trying to voice his thoughts in a moment like this. “There is a parallel universe where everything is okay. Where we’re happy without a care in the world. In this universe, I have bipolar disorder and keep tearing us apart.”  
> \---  
> Or, part 3 of the week after Even's Mania

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's 2017, but I want to start by saying how skam fucked me up again real good yesterday. I mean, Henrik's picture with Tarjei and the whole transcript Julie posted were just absolute blessings. I honestly cannot wait for season 4 to fuck me up even more. I'm honestly already worried about going back to work in a week, because I just know I will have less time to write, but I am not ready to give up on my obsession! 
> 
> Furthermore I am not even going to think about how it's possible this story has blown up so much. I mean, are you guys fucking serious????? 800 kudos????? so many hits?????? what is going oN???  
> Don't get me started on the amount of lovely comments.. I continue to be amazed! But I am definitely not ungrateful <3 
> 
> Now, without further ado, enjoy my version of what happened after O Helga Natt. This took quite a bit of thinking and I realise that out of all things I could write, especially this scene is so different for everyone. So this is probably not as realistic as some other scenes, but it was requested a lot. I hope you enjoy it and find it believable :---)
> 
> Takk!

Isak smiled at him and took his hand, waiting for another moment and Even looked up at him, seeing the silent question in Isak’s eyes. It was an ‘are you sure?’ and Even nodded in reply. Isak started tugging on his hand, making him walk alongside him, their shoulders constantly touching. It felt nice to walk together in silence, it gave him time to think and clear his head with some fresh air.

Isak had come to save him back, right? Against all odds he had shown up and saved him. It was what he should want, but it made Even feel restless because it wasn’t what he had expected. Now he had no idea what was going to happen to them and Even didn’t really like that uncertainty.

His thoughts were conflicting, switching between wanting to lean into Isak’s touch and fleeing so that Isak didn’t have to deal with him like this. He had waited for this moment for a week though, wanting Isak by his side, so he wasn’t going to run. There was too much they still needed to discuss.

Isak’s thumb moved over Even’s knuckles, a soft touch that almost brought him to tears again, and he swallowed but didn’t speak up. Isak didn’t expect him to. They kept walking together though. Just like always their actions spoke louder than words.

Isak didn’t let go of his hand once during their walk, not until he rummaged through his pocket to find his key. Even took the time Isak needed to open the door to send a quick text to his mother ‘ _I’m with Isak.’_ Once it was open, Even didn’t even have to ask, because Isak’s hand found his again and pulled him inside.

The door closed and Even automatically toed off his shoes, which made Isak smile and follow his example. Even sincerely hoped no one would be home so he didn’t have to talk to Eskild or the others. He didn’t feel like he could deal with that right now.

Thankfully it was quiet in the apartment, apart from their footsteps, as Isak walked him to the bedroom. The room was no different, although they were, and it was both soothing and tense, because it made Even think of the parallel universes Isak believed in. Maybe in a parallel universe everything was the same, even the colour of the curtains, but Even wasn’t bipolar. That would be a much better universe.

Isak paused, unsure of what to do next, and Even was about to say that maybe it was best for him to just leave when Isak took a shaky breath and turned to him, “I don’t know how to deal with this, I won’t lie to you. I don’t, I don’t know how to help you. But- but I’m so happy to have you here with me and I don’t want to let go, so.”

Even didn’t know what to say to him. Inside his body, his head was fighting his heart and they were throwing arguments back and forth without them making sense. Logic versus emotion. Even wasn’t ready to let either side win, so he went for a neutral answer, “okay.”

Relief washed over Isak’s face and his worried expression turned into a tiny smile. They stood there for a moment before Isak stepped in and put his hands on Even’s jacket, pausing as if he expected Even to push him away, and then he pulled down the hood.

Isak was treating him like he was fragile, as if he could break any second, and maybe he could. Even knew he was much too unstable to really predict what his mood would do and where it would lead to. So he stayed motionless as he let Isak take care of him, taking off his beanie next.

Isak brushed a hand through Even’s hair, fixing it so it was out of the way, and then let his hand trail down to his cheek. The touch was warm and soft and Isak leaned in closer to press a simple kiss to his lips. Nothing to pressure him, just to show him things were okay. Then he brought his hands back down to Even’s jacket and this time Even helped so Isak could get it off more easily.

“Hold up,” Isak said as he shrugged his own jacket off too and dropped it alongside Even’s. He walked to his closet and started pulling things out, messing up the piles. Even, as requested, didn’t move, but he didn’t think he could even if he wanted to. The stupidity of this whole situation made him feel like crying again. Here Isak was, doing everything he could to make Even feel better. No matter how scared or how nervous he was, he was there.

Even remembered clear as day what Isak had said in the locker room a few weeks before, how he had decided his life was better without mentally ill people around him, but still he had come to save Even. He was trying for him and it felt so overwhelming to Even that he couldn’t hold back the tears.

He used the back of his hands to try and get the tears to go away so Isak wouldn’t see them, but it was a lost cause. Isak turned back, holding two clean shirts in his hand, and with one look at Even his worries were back. He crossed the distance between them in three large strides and made hushing sounds as he took Even’s face in his hands, “hey, hey, don’t cry. Even. It’s okay, what’s wrong?”

Even shook his head quietly, closing his eyes and swallowing the lump in his throat. When he opened his eyes again Isak looked so forlorn that Even couldn’t bear it any longer, “I’m sorry, Isak. I’m so sorry for hurting you. I never wanted to hurt you, I swear,” he brought out, sniffing between words as the tears just kept coming.

Isak pulled him to the bed and made them both sit down on the edge. He took Even’s hands in his and frowned at him, “it’s okay. You have nothing to apologise for,” Isak told him, but Even knew that was bullshit. He had enough to apologise for. His fear, his mistakes, his mania. Everything.

“I shouldn’t have kept this from you, especially not when I knew things were getting bad. I should have just straight up told you once you made it clear you didn’t want mentally ill people in your life. It would have saved us this whole week. We wouldn’t have slept together and you wouldn’t have to regret anything,” Even summed up, looking up at the ceiling to avoid looking at Isak’s face.

“Did you not listen to me or anything?” Isak asked him, sounding incredulous, “I just told you a few minutes ago that I do not want to let you go. Do you really think I would say that if I regretted anything?” It sounded so logical and maybe Even should just believe him, but he knew better than to trust words. Words were poisonous.

Isak dropped his head to Even’s shoulder when Even didn’t reply, “okay, look. Back then, when I said that, I was trying to make light of something that really bothered me. I didn’t know how to deal with my mother either, the same way I don’t really know how to deal with this, but I’m learning. I’m trying to get this right, because I want to keep you with me,” the words were mumbled into Even’s sweater, but he understood them clear as day.

Even dropped his head on top of Isak’s, closing his eyes and breathing him in. He loved this boy, with all his heart, which made this so much more difficult. And the fact that he still felt that at his lowest point, that meant something. And Even had tried to stay away, he had tried and he had failed. So unless Isak was sending him away, maybe he should just stay. Maybe.

Isak took his hand again and when Even didn’t repond he lifted his head up too. Their foreheads touched and Even tried his hardest to let go and clear his mind. He only knew one way to do that, so he pressed their lips together. He kissed Isak demandingly, unlike the careful kisses Isak had given him. He wanted to feel and he didn’t like how hesitantly Isak responded.

He pushed Isak down on his bed and crawled on top of him, kissing him deeper until he felt Isak finally budge and kiss back with the same intensity. His tongue pushed against Isak’s lips and his hands creeped up under Isak’s shirt, but this made Isak whine against his lips and break away, “Even,” his voice was stern and Even sighed and rolled over.

Isak sat up and looked down at Even, who was now avoiding his eyes, “it’s not that I don’t want you, Even,” he said quietly, but Even didn’t respond. He closed his eyes and kept them closed. It was good Isak had stopped him, because Even wasn’t thinking straight, he knew that he wasn’t, but the rejection still hurt. He could hear Isak sigh and there was nothing for a minute before the bed moved and he opened one eye to see Isak’s naked back briefly before a dark shirt covered it up again.

Isak stood up and took of his jeans too, folding them lazily before throwing them in a corner. He crawled back on the bed and didn’t seem surprised to see Even looking at him. “You can’t sleep in that,” he told Even as he looked at his clothes.

Even looked down at himself and he almost laughed and made a joke about how he wasn’t going to sleep. They were far past joking about that though. He knew Isak wasn’t going to budge, so Even sat up and raised his hands to let Isak help get his hoodie off. He put on the black shirt Isak threw at him and then started on his jeans while he lay on his back. He lifted his hips and Isak pulled his jeans down his thighs. There was a smile on his lips and Even had a feeling he knew what he was thinking about.

“Alright,” Isak said as he dropped all of Even’s clothes on top of his own before he pulled the blankets up to cover them. Even lay facing Isak and he didn’t know what else to say now. It was okay though, because Isak didn’t either. A comfortable silence fell over them where Isak touched his hair, something he had always liked doing, and just lay close to him. As if he was waiting for Even to find the words to eventually speak up.

Even couldn’t find those words, though, because there was no good way to explain his disorder and everything it made him feel. There were no words to describe the extreme high he could feel during his mania that was always followed by the most miserable feeling he knew possible.

“I don’t belong with you,” He said instead, instantly regretting the words when he saw Isak’s face fall. “I mean,” He continued, “in this universe. I’m not the right Even in this universe.” He frowned at himself for being so awful at trying to voice his thoughts in a moment like this. “There is a parallel universe where everything is okay. Where we’re happy without a care in the world. In this universe, I have bipolar disorder and keep tearing us apart.”

Isak’s face softened again and he pushed a foot between Even’s leg, inching closer. He didn’t speak up immediately, he was clearly thinking about his words a lot more than Even was. “I don’t think there is such a thing as a perfect universe. Perfection is what you see once you accept someone’s flaws and see how they make them beautiful. There is nothing wrong with you in this universe.” Isak searched for Even’s hands underneath the covers, holding them between his own, “so let’s just sleep, alright? And we’ll talk about this in the morning once you’ve slept,” he offered.

Even didn’t agree with Isak’s words, but he knew there was no point in arguing right now so he nodded and turned over, his back to Isak, before pulling up the covers. Isak didn’t miss a beat, instantly pressing himself against Even’s back and Even turned his face into the pillow and closed his eyes.

He was undeserving of Isak’s love, so underserving. He squeezed his eyes shut and thought of everything they had already been through. All the shit with Sonja, with Isak coming to accept himself. Most of it was his fault though. He had said he needed time and he hadn’t told Isak about his disorder. It was his own fault he was in this place and it was his to fix.

He wished he could tell his past self on the first day of school that this was going to happen, but he wasn’t sure what advice he would give him. Would he do this all again for those moments of pure bliss with Isak? Feeling like the rest of the world didn’t exist and it was just them, being stupid together? Or would he tell him to get out before he lost his heart to him?

He felt Isak’s breath against his neck and realised that Isak was probably not going to sleep before he did, because he wanted to make sure Even was safe and alright. It was a warming thought, but it made him feel guilty too, because he was sure that even with the way Isak was curled up against him and keeping him warm and calm, he wouldn’t be able to sleep.

But then he did.


	15. Lørdag 10:15 (post chapter 14)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No,” Isak said defiantly, “you don’t know shit about how this is going to end. I mean, maybe a nuclear bomb will be dropped on our heads tomorrow, and…and then discussing this is just a waste of time, so. I suggest that you just screw talking about the future, and then the two of us will take this whole thing completely chill.”  
> \---  
> Or, part 4 of the week after Even's Mania

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright the last part of this mini series of Even's week. I just had to tie it up to a scene we have seen from Isak's POV already, but I so wanted to write this from Even's POV. And honestly, Henrik deserves so much praise for how he did this scene. 
> 
> Alright, this request has nothing to do with this fic, but whatever. I've been having one of 'those days' and need something to cheer me up. So if you have any suggestions for things for me to listen to, to watch, to read, whatever. Leave it in the comments? 
> 
> This fic is about to reach 900 kudos and really, I bow to you for being so kind and giving me 900 smiles to cherish <3  
> Happy 21:21

**Lørdag 10:15**

When he woke up again it was light outside and he blinked his eyes open. Had he forgotten to close his curtains? His mind was foggy but the fog cleared once his mind registered that this wasn’t his bed and everything came flooding back as he tilted his head and his eyes met Isak’s.

Isak was on top of the covers, facing him, and was watching him intently. He was still there, just like he had promised. And Even couldn’t look at him. He cast his eyes down and swallowed hard, but Isak wouldn’t let it go so easily. “Hi,” He murmured softly, and it made Even look up again.

“Hi,” He replied as he rolled onto his back, looking up at the white ceiling. It helped him clear his mind a little, because staring at Isak always brought too many emotions to really think. But Isak was waiting and Even knew that. He looked at the curtains that weren’t his, saw the way the sun shone behind it. He had slept through the night and had fucked up his plan.

Right before he fell asleep he made up his mind. He would let Isak fall asleep and then sneak out so he wouldn’t have to deal with the conversation he was now about to have with Isak. A conversation he really hadn’t wanted to have, especially not after how much Isak had done for him the night before. But he had fallen asleep and now he had no choice.

“Hungry?” Isak asked, obviously feeling uncomfortable with the way Even wasn’t talking to him. Even wasn’t hungry, not at all, he actually felt sick. But who was he kidding? Things hadn’t worked out with Sonja after all those years, why would they with Isak?

“What time is it?” He asked instead, already thinking about if someone would be at home to let him in. He had made a mess of this again. He kept pulling Isak closer only to push him away again and it had to stop. It had to stop now.

“Around ten thirty or something,” Isak replied and Even stared at a point just over Isak’s shoulder. He felt something heavy settle in his stomach. Something dreadful nestled itself into his body, occupying his mind. He was really saying goodbye to the first person he had been so utterly in love with. So his reply was barely a whisper, because he couldn’t find the strength to really force it, “I should leave.”

He turned his face away again, not wanting to see what Isak’s face looked like in that moment. If he was mad or angry, or maybe shocked. He didn’t want to see, but he could hear it in Isak’s voice when he asked, “Why?” And Even should have seen that coming. Of course Isak wasn’t going to let him go without any questions. It was all about how Even would reply now.

Should he be honest and tell Isak that it was only destined to end sooner or later? Or should he come up with a lie to hurt him less? No, no, he couldn’t lie about this. However, at the same time it absolutely terrified him to voice his thoughts. In the past when he had been too scared to text Isak back he used his drawings to explain things, but he didn’t have his drawings now. That didn’t mean Isak didn’t deserve the truth. Even just had to suck it up.

“Because I don’t want you to lie here and feel like you have to look after me,” He admitted. He couldn’t look at Isak’s face, it would hurt too much and it would make Even back out of this. “I don’t feel like I’m looking after you,” Isak replied without as much of a thought and Even took a deep breath. How could he explain this to Isak and make him understand that it was the right decision? If only Isak could see it his way.

“And why,” Isak went on, “why is that wrong?’ He asked, sounding genuinely curious. If only looking after someone like Even really wasn’t wrong, but it was. He remembered Sonja getting frustrated with him often, he remembered her crying a lot because she couldn’t do anything for him. It was only a matter of time before it would be enough for Isak too.

Even closed his eyes and tried to find the right words again, “There’s nothing wrong with it.” There wasn’t. It wasn’t the looking after him that was the problem anyway. It wasn’t the taking care of him that broke him and Sonja. It was how he would always hurt the ones who took care of him, and that would hurt Isak more in the end than a simple and clean break up.

“I just can’t stand that you’re lying here, all sad,” Even said and he swallowed painfully. Isak didn’t reply as quickly as he had done before and it made Even turn his head to face him. It was a mistake, because although only half his face was visible, he could see sadness. But when Isak spoke up it was as if that sadness wasn’t because he actually felt sad, but because Even was having this conversation with him. As if he knew what Even was trying to do and he hated it, “I’m not sad.”

Even focussed on his breathing, feeling like if he didn’t watch it now he would start crying again. He didn’t want to cry anymore, didn’t want to look weak anymore. He had to stay strong, no matter how much he felt like breaking inside. What arguments were left to give that would make any sense at all? Even couldn’t find any, not any good ones at least, so he settled for the ones he knew were unlikely to sway Isak’s opinion.

“I just know that this isn’t going to work out,” He told the ceiling, feeling like it was his last shot at making him understand. But Isak wouldn’t budge. He sounded even more confused and upset when he replied, “why are you saying that?”

Why was Even saying it? Because he _knew_ himself and he knew his life. He knew what this was going to end up like. For the rest of his life Even would have to switch schools and later on he would have to switch jobs. He would be alone for most of his life, because either people wouldn’t want to deal with his disorder or would care too much and Even would push them away. That was just reality.

“Because it’s true,” He reasoned and he looked up into Isak’s eyes, forcing himself to because it was the only way to show him how serious he was. But he couldn’t hold his gaze. He tried again, turning his body towards Isak, “I’m just going to.. to hurt you.” Isak stared back openly and Even continued, “and then you’ll hate me.”

And as Even said the words he realised how true they were. And that hurt. It hurt to know that he would never really have what he wanted in his life. He would never have Isak, never the love he had felt so intensely for this boy next to him. But that boy wasn’t done with him, not at all.

“No,” Isak said defiantly, “you don’t know shit about how this is going to end. I mean, maybe a nuclear bomb will be dropped on our heads tomorrow, and…and then discussing this is just a waste of time, so. I suggest that you just screw talking about the future, and then the two of us will take this whole thing completely chill.”

Even couldn’t stop looking at him in shock. There was such anger, or well maybe frustration was a better word, in his voice. Like he didn’t accept Even giving him this shit and he wasn’t going to allow it to happen again either. He looked so strong and powerful despite the fact that there was still fear in his eyes, fear that Even would run, fear that he wouldn’t give this a shot.

And Even’s heart was winning now, emotion overruling logic, because he wanted nothing more than to be with Isak. It had never been about his feelings for him. Isak knew it wasn’t about his feelings. They had settled that back in the hotel. Or at least he hoped they had.

Even’s heart was winning, but his mind was fighting back to win lost territory. He swallowed hard, feeling like maybe this was one of the biggest and most important decisions of his life. And how was he supposed to choose? How was he supposed to make this big decision within seconds?

Isak pulled him out of his thoughts, “let’s play a game. It goes like this… It’s called ‘Isak and Even: minute by minute’.” Isak paused, waiting for Even to object maybe, but Even kept quiet as he wanted to hear what Isak was thinking. So Isak continued.

“It…,” Isak lifted his hand, softly caressing Even’s cheek and brushing through the hair above his ear, “it’s about that, the only thing we need to worry about is the next minute.”

Even stared at him and knew there was no way in hell that his mind was going to win from his heart now. Not with Isak so reluctant to let him go, with him being so cautious with his words and his actions and his everything, all in order to keep Even close. Even didn’t want to give him up. He just couldn’t. And if Isak was willing to give it another shot and just see where they would end up, why would he refuse?

“You up for it?” Isak asked him. His hand was still against Even’s cheeks and his eyes hadn’t strayed. And Even let go once again, but not of Isak this time. He let go of his fear. He pushed his anxiety to the back of his mind and whispered, “okay.”

The look in Isak’s eyes changed, but neither of them moved. Even could tell Isak was waiting for something, some form of approval that Even wasn’t going to make up his mind again, which was fair enough. So Even gave it to him, “what should we do this minute then?” And Isak had apparently been waiting for that question, because his reply was instant, “this minute we kiss.”

It felt like such a cliché, so cheesy too, and it made him snort a little. Truth was that they hadn’t really kissed each other since the hotel. At least not where they were both in a good mind-set. He smiled briefly, but Isak’s face didn’t get any less serious just yet. “That’s chill,” Even nodded and Isak copied him, “that’s chill.”

He waited then, looking at Isak expectantly, and Isak lingered for a moment before he rolled closer and pressed their lips together. There was desperation in that kiss, but it wasn’t rushed or rough at all. There was still a tenderness to it, still a softness Isak had shown him. It was exactly what Even needed.

He closed his eyes and tipped his head when he felt Isak move in a second time, kissing him again, and again, and again. With every kiss Even felt more relaxed, more freed of his anxiety. Because this was his heart and when his heart took over, only love remained.

And after the minute ended, Isak didn’t break away. He stayed just as close, his hand never leaving Isak’s face, and kept their noses and foreheads touching until long after Even had fallen asleep again.


	16. Fredag 19:20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He composed himself as he let himself flop down on the couch, smiling as he threw an arm around Emma on the back of the couch, “I think you guys are bonding a little too much over here.” Thankfully Emma smiled back, her enthusiastic self, and turned his way to hug him as she greeted him happily.  
> \---  
> Or, part 1 of what happened during the pre-game at Isak’s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1000 KUDOS. You guys are insane!!! Over 100 kudos in one freaking day. I feel blessed.  
> Thank you so much, you're all amazing. I will never forget that this is the biggest thing that has happened to me on the internet.  
> If you have tumblr, please follow me (evenogisakk) or leave yours in the comments so I can follow as many of you as possible!! <3
> 
> Tomorrow I'll post part 2, which will be Even's part of the kitchen scene that follows this!  
> I hope I can keep making you smile and enjoy reading this fic for as long as I can.
> 
> Takk a thousand times (pun intended)

**Fredag 19:20**

**Isak’s POV**

People kept pouring into the apartment, waiting in line to get painted by one of the girls so they would match everyone else in the room. Isak was sitting on the couch and talking to Emma, or more like listening to Emma. He had been carrying around a beer can all night, desperate to get drunk. If getting drunk helped others to get turned on by girls, it could help him too.

He definitely was not checking the room to see if Even had arrived already. No, he was simply doing his job as a host, making sure everything went well and nothing got broken or stolen. He did notice it was getting much harder to actually listen to Emma talk though. She was giggling, moving closer to him from time to time, and Isak gulped down more beer. Fuck.

‘Okay, show some interest, find some common ground’ He told himself. Maybe if he found that her personality fit with his at least he’d find her easier to be around. “So, what kind of music do you like?” He asked her, forcing a smile.

Emma took the bait and she hummed thoughtfully, “that’s a hard one.” She was aware that her answer was important and she didn’t want to make a fool out of herself. But then she still did. “My favourite kind of music is,” she paused as if to think it through once more, “Justin Bieber. My favourite kind of music is Justin Bieber.”

Isak cringed and brought up a hand to cover his eyes, “oh my god,” he laughed to himself. This was stupid, why was he doing this? He had nothing in common with Emma, she was too girly. Was faking really worth the cover he got in return?

“Is that.. was that bad? No. No, no, no. Was it that bad?” Emma asked and Isak pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to tell himself that it didn’t matter. It was just music. So what Even and him had a lot in common? That didn’t mean he _liked_ him. Isak had a lot in common with his friends too, that didn’t mean he was in attracted to them. 

“I think I just got a headache,” He joked, but only a little. He needed more beer, a lot more beer, before he could do this. Emma laughed, maybe out of embarrassment or a way to make this lighter, “you just got a headache from Justin Bieber?” and Isak tried to keep smiling, “a migraine.”

He wanted to get out of there so bad, “I think I’ll just leave. No, wait. I can’t leave, I live here. Maybe I’ll have you leave.” It all seemed like a joke to Emma, but Isak was actually pretty serious. If it wasn’t for the fact that she was his only shot right now at not getting others suspicious about him and Even, he would have left her sitting there already.

“Yeah. You’re throwing me out because I like him?” She asked, a wide smile on her face. “Come up with something better then,” She challenged him and Isak gladly took it. Maybe he could change her opinion, “I’m a little more into 90s Hip Hop and stuff.”

Emma looked confused and Isak was maybe being a little mean, putting her on the spot, when he asked her if she knew anything about that. She looked like she wanted to lie, which Isak had done once Even had asked him if he knew about Nas, but Emma stayed honest and he had to give her credit for that, “no. I don’t know anything about that.”

He decided to gush about Nas, trying to get her into it and advicing her to listen, but she looked at him as if she really didn’t feel like it. And then a loud, “hi,” caught his attention and he looked up to see Vilde welcoming Even and Sonja. And Isak couldn’t look away.

\---

**Even’s POV**

Even smiled politely at Vilde and introduced her to his girlfriend, but his attention was already on Isak. He had spotted him right away when they had walked in and he didn’t like what he was seeing. Emma on that couch with him, making him smile.

Sonja was talking to Vilde, which gave him an excuse to keep his eyes on Isak and Emma, but he kind of wished he wasn’t looking. Because now Emma was guiding Isak’s hand over her breast and Isak was staring at his hand in a way Even didn’t like.

But then Isak averted his eyes and sipped on his beer and Even felt a slight grin appear. Isak didn’t look that interested, which gave him more of a chance. He looked away when he saw Isak’s eyes trail up, just in time to avoid awkward eye contact, but he felt smug.

He could feel Isak’s eyes on him still and Even decided to see what would happen if... He raised his denim jacket over his shoulder and looked up, meeting Isak’s eyes. And Isak stared back, looking so fucking cute, and he licked his lips. Even lost it a little.

Isak broke their eye contact much too soon though, finishing his drink and looking mildly pissed off for some reason. Emma kept talking to him until Isak leaned in towards her and kissed her, and that just wasn’t okay.

Even handed his jacket to Sonja and kissed her cheek, “I have to talk to Isak for a minute. I’ll see you later.” She was about to say something, but he sneaked past her before she could and made his way through the crowd. He could see Isak was still kissing Emma every time they were visible through the openings in the crowd. He bumped into someone and apologised while he moved on, but he didn’t stop. How dare Isak kiss her? Didn’t he understand what Even felt for him?

He composed himself as he let himself flop down on the couch, smiling as he threw an arm around Emma on the back of the couch, “I think you guys are bonding a little too much over here.” Thankfully Emma smiled back, her enthusiastic self, and turned his way to hug him as she greeted him happily.

“I thought we were a team?” Even said as a way to clarify himself for his earlier comment and he watched Isak avoid eye contact at all costs now. He actually looked like he was annoyed that Even had interrupted, but could he really be? He had looked so disinterested before he had seen Even there.

“Oh yeah, the “kose”-group,” Emma replied and Even couldn’t deal with how Isak wasn’t responding. He shook his shoulder and thought of something trivial to say, “nice apartment.” Isak’s reply was quiet, “thanks,” and Even didn’t know what else to do. Emma leaned her head on Isak’s shoulder, “it’s really nice here,” and Even licked his lips as he tried to think of how he could fix this.

\---

So maybe Isak was mad at him, or maybe he was really into Emma. That last thought didn’t make sense though, because Even hadn’t gone crazy.  He knew what flirting was and he had seen it with Isak. It hadn’t been just him that had flirted with Isak, but Isak had flirted back.

It was more likely that Isak was mad at him, but why? What did Even do to make Isak act as if he was nothing to him? “Hey,” Sonja said as she reached out a hand for him, “dance with me?” she asked and Even looked up at her.

And then it clicked. Sonja. Isak was mad because of Sonja. Or well, that would make sense right? Isak had been flirting, but Even had a girlfriend. Even took her hand and smiled as he got up with her, “sure.” Now that he knew what it was that frustrated Isak he could figure out how to fix this.

Isak was drinking again, looking totally out of it already, and Even kept his eyes on him while he tried to give Sonja attention. Truth was that by now they were only together out of convenience and familiarity, but Even was quickly coming to the realisation that he didn’t want that anymore. His heart was in the process of choosing Isak. And it wasn’t just the physical attraction he had felt the first day of school. No, now that he knew Isak better he could sincerely say that he liked the boy.

Maybe making him jealous right now was the best way to know for sure if Isak was pissed off at him because of Sonja and not because of something else. He wanted to make sure he was right about this. So when Sonja touched his cheek and leaned in for a kiss, he met her in the middle. Her hand was holding on gently to the back of his neck, but Even wasn’t paying attention to it. Instead he wondered if Isak was watching.

Even kissed his girlfriend in a way he hadn’t for a while now and she seemed appreciative of it, which made him almost feel guilty about the fact that he wasn’t thinking about her. They kept dancing though and it took several songs before Even was sure enough of the fact that Isak must have looked their way at least once, before he let himself look up.

Sonja’s lips were still against his, her eyes closed, but Even opened his and glanced Isak’s way. Isak was still dancing with Emma, but they were kissing too now. Maybe he had been wrong, maybe Isak was angry at him for a different reason. Maybe Isak was just naturally flirty and he had misunderstood. That would be embarrassing.

Even was about to give up and accept his defeat when Isak’s eyes opened and their gazes met. Emma kissed her way to Isak’s jaw, but Isak wasn’t looking at her. He was looking at Even. For a moment he was sure Isak would look away, break eye contact and pretend it hadn’t happened, but he didn’t, not until Emma kissed him again. But it was too late, Even already knew enough to realise that Isak wasn’t really interested in her.

Isak was interested in Even.


	17. Fredag 20:12 (post chapter 16)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So he moved on, “you know that Sonja and I have been dating since we were like… 15 or something.” He kept his eyes fixed on Isak’s face, taking in the way Isak responded to this comment. His movements stopped being frantic and his eyes darted back and forth. His face didn’t show him anything though. “Okay,” Isak replied, sounding like he was unsure what he had to do with that information.  
> \---  
> Or, part 2 of what happened during the pre-game at Isak’s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been writing lots. Even stalking Isak at the start of the year, Isak going home after the hotel scene.. and let me tell you. I got myself to sob... ooooh boy
> 
> Anyway, I can keep saying how much I appreciate all the love and stuff, but I've done that about 10 times already!   
> So, just go read this.  
> And leave me your, or your favourite, skam art in the comments!!! (or at my tumblr: evenogisakk)
> 
> Takk

**Fredag 20:12**

“I’m ready,” Sonja said as she touched his arm, pulling him out of his thoughts again. He looked at her for a moment, her smile bright thanks to the night they had had so far. He felt guilty, but only slightly.

Emma bounced up to them, “want to share a cab with me and Isak?” She asked them and Sonja started talking to her so Even let it go and went back to watching Isak clean up. Emma was in the way though, which was extremely annoying. God how could a tiny girl like her annoy him so fucking much?

Emma stepped back again as if she could read his mind and his line of vision was thankfully cleared. Isak wasn’t cleaning anymore though, not really. Yes, he was moving around cans and pretending to work, but he was looking back at Even from time to time, averting his eyes only to pick up another can.

People were starting to push past them to get out so Even had to break eye contact for the umpteenth time that night. It bothered him to no end that people kept interrupting them when obviously this was going somewhere and he just hoped that he could corner Isak later, or maybe keep up those lasting looks in the cab.

He saw Emma walk to Isak and she pointed at them from where they were standing, clearly telling him about her idea for the cab. Isak made a point of not looking their way though and Even huffed at that. They should be over this, he knew what was wrong now and Isak didn’t have to worry about anything, so he could stop acting like he wasn’t into him.

Isak appeared to be waving Emma off, turning his back to her and going back to picking up empty beer cans. God, he was so obvious, how did no one else notice? Emma tried not to look too disappointed as she walked back to them and before Sonja could ask, Even’s mouth was already open, “isn’t he coming?” he asked.

Emma turned her attention to Even and shrugged, “no, yes he is, but he said he’s going by bike, so. It’s just the three of us then,” she smiled, but it wasn’t as big as usual, and linked her arm with Sonja’s. And Even felt like this wasn’t going where he wanted it to go. He made a face, hoping he was good at faking this, “oh shit. I have my bike here too.”

Sonja took his hand, “so? We can come back after and take it with us,” she suggested. Even shook his head, “no, it’s just easier if I go by bike so I can take you home after. Besides, Isak is probably a bit too drunk to cycle on his own.” That last reason was obviously a valid one and after the girls shared a look, Sonja sighed, “fine.”

She dragged him down for another kiss, “don’t be too long,” she whispered before she took Emma’s hand and they slipped past her. By now Isak had disappeared into the kitchen and Even took his time alone to think this through. He had to go in and woo him. That was it. He had to make sure Isak knew that things with Sonja were at a dead end and there was no reason to be jealous.

He picked up a few beer cans and took them with him to the kitchen to give himself something to do, a reason to go there. Isak turned to face him once he heard him enter and Even paused for a moment before he continued on to the sink.

“Didn’t you take a cab with the others?” Isak asked, looking confused. There was a frown on his face and he was holding out his right arm questioningly. Even looked at him, sending him a knowing smile, “I have a bike.” He stepped closer, his body still angled towards Isak’s, and started emptying the cans in the sink.

Isak was leaning away, obviously still questioning what was really going on. He didn’t have to worry. Even got this.

He purposely leaned into Isak’s space as he set down the cans next to the others, but every time he turned his head to look at Isak’s face, he couldn’t hold in his smile. Isak looked so confused and like he didn’t feel at ease, his brows furrowing. He was still ever so handsome.

Small talk, test the waters, do _something_. “Good times with, uh.. Emma?” He feigned ignorance while they both knew Even knew perfectly well why he was asking that. He set down the last can and turned around, leaning back against the counter as he waited for a reply.

Isak huffed a little and kept his eyes on the beer cans, sorting them even though there was no need to. He took a deep breath, Even could hear it, before he spoke up, “she’s keen.” So no real response there. This wasn’t about Emma though, Even knew that.

So he moved on, “you know that Sonja and I have been dating since we were like… 15 or something.” He kept his eyes fixed on Isak’s face, taking in the way Isak responded to this comment. His movements stopped being frantic and his eyes darted back and forth. His face didn’t show him anything though. “Okay,” Isak replied, sounding like he was unsure what he had to do with that information.

This wasn’t going to plan. Isak wasn’t showing his anger. He didn’t show how this affected him at all. So had he been wrong? No, he couldn’t have been. It wasn’t possible that after all the flirting and everything, Isak didn’t like him. He was so sure that Isak wanted him too.

“And..,” He looked down at Isak’s hands as he spoke, “I can tell we’re drifting further and further apart.” It wasn’t a lie, not at all, but it was the first time he had voiced it. It was the first he told anyone about his struggling relationship with Sonja. They just kept reviving what he was sure they both knew was coming to an end, but each time they were brought back to life they were a step further away from each other. “But.. I can’t dump Sonja,” He added to that.

The realisation of how Even was actually unloading his personal problems on Isak was strange. It was not part of his goal to woo Isak, but here he was, opening up to him. Isak still had the same indifferent look on his face though, and he asked the same, “Okay?” as he had done before. It was frustrating to be getting nowhere with him.

He had tried jealousy, he had tried honesty, but those hadn’t worked. There wasn’t much left now, and there was nothing to lose. If Isak was mad at him he had to fix it or else he would lose him no matter what. So maybe the remedy to his anger was laughter.

“’Cause if I dump Sonja, she’ll think I’m doing it because of her aluminium leg,” He lied, having just thought it up, and he looked away from Isak so he wouldn’t laugh and betray himself. He had caught Isak’s attention though, finally, because the boy looked up at him.

Even looked back briefly to see him narrow his eyes a little suspiciously, “hmm?” he asked and Even pulled the same face, frowning at him, “you didn’t know?” he asked. How could Isak know though, they had never talked about Sonja.

Isak still looked at him unbelievingly, “aluminium leg?” he asked incredulously. Even felt a little bad about how far he was dragging it, but at least Isak was talking to him. “Yeah, she’s amputated her entire foot,” He said as he leaned closer into Isak’s space again. This time Isak didn’t move away.

He looked thoughtful for a moment and then he put a hand on his hip and leaned right back into Even’s space. They were pretty close now and Even finally felt like this was going somewhere.

“What?” Isak asked and Even nodded. “How.. did that happen?” Even had to think fast. How would one lose an entire foot? He really wanted to smile and give it away already, but Isak was too innocent, trusting his every word.

“She stepped on a land mine at Tjøme when she was nine years old,” He made up, trying to keep a straight face as much as he could, “blew off her entire left foot.”

And he was sure Isak wouldn’t fall for it, it was too crazy, but when he checked his face he looked like he felt sorry for him. “Shit..” He whispered, keeping his head down and Even really wondered how long it would take for him to realise, “yeah it was pretty bad.” “Yeah, I didn’t know that,” Isak grabbed the counter behind him and swung back and forth awkwardly, clearly feeling out of place.

“But she’s doing better,” Even kept going, “she’s gotten a lot of help from...” he had a hard time coming up with anything now, “good…ehm, what’s it called? Like…physiotherapists, in developing her motor skills” No, that was too realistic, Isak would believe that. “And you know, aluminium technology has come a long way. You can barely tell she’s limping at all.”

And that was when Isak’s face finally changed. One side of his mouth quirked up into a slight smile, a grin, and then he really smiled, “you’re joking?” he asked and Even laughed with him. “You’re joking?” Isak asked again, his eyebrows raising higher as he waited for an answer.

Even couldn’t hold it in any longer and Isak slowly started to realise how he had been pranked, “yeah?” Even finally nodded and Isak turned his head away as he dragged out, “fffff-fucking shit. How can you joke about something like that?”

Even leaned over and pushed himself away from the counter, “do you really think there are land mines at Tjøme?” He turned his body towards Isak and stepped a little closer as Isak raised his shoulders in a sort of shrug, “I don’t fucking know?”

He was adorable like that, stumbling over his words as he tried to explain himself, “Who jok- I mean, you can’t joke about things like that,” he argued, still with a smile, stuttering slightly as he turned away from Even now that he got too close. Isak huffed and was about to open his mouth again when Even spoke up, “I could have joked about something much worse.”

Isak raised himself up, shaking his head with laughter, “no! You couldn’t have, ‘cause that’s a really serious thing to joke about.” Even wanted to see his face when confronted with something gay and so he decided to be bold, replying with, “I could’ve joked about her having a dick.”

Isak’s eyes rolled back into his head and he looked unimpressed so Even kept talking, “that would have been… going too far.” Isak smiled slightly and then dropped his head, mumbling, “dick,” like he couldn’t believe Even had really made that joke.

Even couldn’t believe that he had managed to get Isak to talk to him, to smile the way he was smiling. He wasn’t angrily glaring at him or annoying him anymore. That was good. And Even wanted to kiss him so badly. He wanted to let Isak know that he wasn’t crazy, that all he had thought Even saw in him was true. It was just a complicated situation at the moment.

“Too far,” he laughed as he looked away, trying to shake the desire to kiss him, but he was tired of fighting it. He was tired of running away when all he wanted was to run into Isak’s arms. He had been waiting for this moment for so long.

He glanced at Isak’s face once more, catching him looking at him, and Isak turned his head away but was smiling secretively. But when Even didn’t make a move, Isak cleared his throat, “I don’t think aluminium technology was…” and Even cocked an eyebrow, “oh, so that’s what gave me away?”

Isak nodded, still not looking up, and Even felt restless. His hand clenched into a fist and then unclenched again, over and over. He didn’t know what to say and he definitely didn’t know how to act now with his thoughts all a jumble. So Isak took control, “but,” he said, taking a deep breath as he considered what to say next, “she’s sweet.”

He finally looked up at Even only to look down again a second later. Almost as if he was so wary of what Even would see in his face that he bashfully kept his gaze down to avoid embarrassment.

Even watched him, feeling his heart expanding in his chest, and he couldn’t keep it in any longer. Isak was being kind towards Sonja even though he disliked her for being with Even. He was a much better person that Even and Even knew he sure as hell didn’t deserve him, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want him. Because he did. He wanted to lean in and kiss him, press him against the counter and make him forget Sonja even exists.

“Sonja..” Isak said when it stayed silent, the word dripping jealousy as it left his mouth. And Even couldn’t stop his smile. He couldn’t stop feeling special that despite everything, Isak liked him. He had been waiting for this moment since the first day of school and now it was here. Isak was here, and he couldn’t not take his shot.

He took a calming breath as he moved closer, and Isak must have noticed, but he kept his head hung low. Even leaned in closer still, bringing his face almost to the same level as Isak so he couldn’t avoid and ignore him any longer. Isak didn’t move away, and of course he didn’t, he liked Even.

He could feel the way Isak tipped his head sideways a little, as if to see what Even was doing, as if the way he was bringing their faces closer together didn’t say it all. But then Isak kept tipping it sideways, making room for Even to lean in, and Even knew he caught on. They were so close, this was actually happening after all those weeks, months. Their first kiss.

He could already feel the ghosting of Isak’s lips against his, their noses touching, and Even was so ready for this. He swallowed once more, tipping his chin up to connect their lips, but then a loud thud sounded and Isak had pulled away within seconds. He scanned the room and looked relieved when the kitchen was still empty. Even though, Even felt his blood boiling. They got interrupted, of course. Of fucking course this happened. When were they ever given a fucking break?

Isak started for the door and Even followed, curious to see what was going on, but when he saw a girl standing there with suitcase and all, he stared at Isak. Who was she? Was there something Isak had been hiding? A long distance girlfriend?

“Noora?” Isak asked and the girl smiled, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes, “hello Isak.” Isak walked up to her to hug her, “where’s William?” he asked next and Even felt reassured. So this wasn’t his girlfriend after all.

“He’s still in London,” She said quietly as she hugged Isak back tightly. Then Isak stepped back again to give her space, “oh. Are you okay?” he asked then and Noora nodded wildly, “yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Is Eskild here though?”

Isak shook his head, “no, he went with the whole group, but I’ll call him.” “Already tried that, but he didn’t pick up,” She replied, still holding on to her coat.

Isak hummed and turned to Even then, “I think I’ll be staying here. Could you go and tell Eskild to come home? You remember what he looks like right? I bet he’s still wearing that pink wig,” He told him. Even felt disappointed, but he understood that something was wrong and Isak wanted to stay with his friend so he nodded, “yeah, sure. Okay.”

He was unsure of how to say goodbye, but in the end he just picked up his coat and let his hand briefly touch Isak’s shoulder before he walked off, “I’ll talk to you later.” Isak smiled at him before he went back to Noora, “Bye.”


	18. Fredag 12:00

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “you skipped school?” Even was drawing tiny flowers all over the page, obviously just passing time, but they were pretty.  
> Isak fell down next to him, facing the ceiling so he could look at Even’s face, “yeah.” He knew Even was about to start a rant on how Isak wasn’t supposed to screw up his 10% for Even so Isak quickly went on, “I had to though. The party is tonight and I still have to buy stuff and get the Christmas tree for Vilde."  
> \---  
> Or, part 1 of Evak and the Christmas tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys................................................... You have done it??? You made this fic the n.1 fic when it comes to Kudos, hits, comments... everything. I am baffled. To celebrate I can tell you that I have a steady growing supply of scenes, most of them cut into multiple parts, and that means there will definitely be daily updates up until next Friday!!!!   
> Also, I totally love talking to you guys on tumblr and twitter, so keep doing that!!   
> (tumblr: evenogisakk twitter: goldndeys)
> 
> Anyway, this scene was requested by many people, but in particular tumblr user levok, who has listened to my rambling about this fic and other evak stuff for the past few days!
> 
> Enjoy!! (although part 2 really is the best part of this scene, but hey, gotta keep the suspense right?!)

When Isak got home around midday, he instantly walked to his bedroom, dropping his schoolbag the moment he walked in. Even was on his stomach, his chest propped up on a pillow and he was drawing in a notebook lazily. Isak’s TV was on, background noise of some cooking show filling the room, and Isak walked up to his boyfriend, “hey.”

Even looked up, already tipping his head sideways for a hello kiss, “hey.” They had gotten so used to greeting each other like that. Isak flopped down on his bed and looked over Even’s shoulder at the drawing when his boyfriend asked, noticing the time, “you skipped school?” Even was drawing tiny flowers all over the page, obviously just passing time, but they were pretty.

Isak fell down next to him, facing the ceiling so he could look at Even’s face, “yeah.” He knew Even was about to start a rant on how Isak wasn’t supposed to screw up his 10% for Even so Isak quickly went on, “I had to though. The party is tonight and I still have to buy stuff and get the Christmas tree for Vilde."

“Will you come with me? To pick it up?” Isak asked, knowing that it was good for Even when he went out, if only for a little while. “It’s too heavy to carry on my own,” Isak explained, giving him reason to come. Even didn’t want Isak to make everything about Even’s feelings, but Isak knew that if he gave him a reason to do something then he would be more likely to do it. Even stopped drawing and looked down at Isak, taking him in, “okay.” It was soft, for now Even didn’t mind Isak trying to fix him.

Isak smiled at him, showing his appreciation for Even’s making an effort, because he was trying for him, and Even dipped down to kiss him again. Isak brought up a hand to the back of his neck to hold him down, keeping their lips together until Even smiled against them and grabbed Isak’s hand to get it out of the way. He didn’t let it go though, he held it in his own instead.

“Are you hungry? I haven’t had lunch yet and thought maybe we could grab something on the go,” Isak said as he squeezed Even’s hand briefly before he let go and rolled off the bed. He rummaged through his stuff to find Even’s beanie and his scarf, “you’ll need these. It’s cold out,” he smiled as he threw them at his boyfriend.

Even closed his notebook and rolled over too so he could get up and get dressed, “yeah sure. Whatever you want.” Isak knew Even was only really trying to please him, but at least he got up and went out with him instead of staying in. They had come a long way already.

Like before, Isak held Even’s hand when they left the apartment, mostly so he could be his anchor, something to take strength from, but also because he liked it. He had realised that life was much too short to hide who you are, it wouldn’t bring you happiness. The whole situation with Even had brought him back in the moment instead of thinking far ahead. And in this moment he loved Even and wanted to be with him. He wanted to be Even’s anchor.

They stopped at kaffebrenneriet to get coffee and a sandwich and Even sat down at the spot where Isak had sat two weeks earlier as he waited for Even to pick him up. That was the day all had gone to hell, now things were looking up. He watched Even stare out of the window in thought while he waited for Isak to get their order.

He kissed Even’s cheek when he got to him and put down his coffee, “you okay?” he asked quietly. Even turned his head to look at him and he smiled softly, “yeah. I’m fine.” He pressed a kiss to Isak’s lips as he got up from the stool, instantly being taller than Isak again, and picked up his coffee and muffin.

He led the way back outside and they walked in silence for a little, so Isak took out his phone to take a picture of his coffee to send to kolletiv. Just to let them know they were out. Even protested though, “no, no. Take a picture of us instead.” Isak looked at him, cocking an eyebrow. Really? Since when was Even keen on taking pictures together? But Isak obliged and flipped the camera, angling it so they were both in the shot.

The first picture was pretty neutral, both of them smiling slightly with their heads touching. Of course Even looked ten times more gorgeous than him, which was just unfair. “Take another one,” Even gave a nod and Isak lifted his phone again. This time though, Even didn’t move in beside him. Instead he touched Isak’s chin, holding him in place as he pressed his lips to Isak’s cheek and kept them there.

Isak couldn’t hold back a much bigger smile than before and he took three pictures so he had something to choose from. “Look at you,” He laughed when Even had pulled back and stepped closer to see the results. “You’re so cute,” Even replied, ruffling Isak’s hair slightly. He was in a good mood, which put Isak in a good mood too.

He chuckled, like always not knowing what to say to one of Even’s compliments, and he put his phone away again. They walked side by side as they ate their sandwiches and Isak talked about how boring school was, especially without Even there. Even smiled amusedly and Isak was glad things were looking up for him.

Once he had finished his sandwich he took Even’s hand again despite them being in a way more public place, and his boyfriend stopped in the middle of his story about making breakfast with Linn, looking down at their locked hands. He squeezed softly and looked straight ahead again without saying anything, but Isak could see a smile playing at his lips.

Isak swung their arms between them and Even fell back into his story. It was nice, perfect, to walk together with Even in complete serenity for the first time. Although there was still so much to be said between them, so much more that they had to figure out, there was a calmness that had settled. They had talked certain things through, they had been honest with each other and Isak knew that Even really loved him. And that was what mattered for now.

It finally felt like the storm had passed, like the worst was over now and from here they could only go up. He knew that things were unstable for Even, but he’d continue to fight for them every day, every hour, every minute. Always.

As Even kept talking he got out his phone and opened his Instagram. It was time to live, to get out from his hiding place and let himself be happy. He selected the picture where Even was kissing his cheek and added a simple ‘no filter’ before he clicked share. Let the world know he was in love, let them judge, it wouldn’t touch him. Not with Even by his side, his hand warm in his own.

They got to the inner parts of the city where it was busy enough. A lot of people apparently had to do their Christmas shopping now, on Friday afternoon at one o’clock with another week to go before Christmas eve. He swallowed and felt Even slow down beside him. Isak knew he didn’t like to be in large crowds of people, because he was scared to one day get a manic episode right between so many people.

“ _What if I do something so stupid… then all of those people would_ know _that something’s wrong with me. I might as well move to another town then,”_ Even had told him the first time they went out that week, after the worst was over, and Isak suggested to go to the Christmas market. They had ended up buying kebab together and Isak had told Even about how he had come out to Jonas while eating kebab. That had been just as fun as the Christmas market would have been.

Isak pulled Even with him to a quiet place in front of one of the shops and made him look at him. “We can go around if you want, but I will be right here with you. I’ll be right here, holding your hand. You will be okay,” Isak told him and Even looked down, uncertainty visible in his face. “And if it doesn’t make you feel okay then we’ll take the next alternative route we come across. I promise.”

Even let their eyes meet and he held Isak’s gaze as if he was making sure Isak would stay true to his promise. He would. He always would. Even licked his lips for a second and then visibly took a deep breath, “okay.” He put his trust in Isak and it made Isak feel so warm inside he couldn’t stop himself from pressing a quick kiss to Even’s lips. He tried not to get overly excited though, because he knew that would put pressure on Even. “Awesome,” he whispered, only a small smile on his face.

He held Even’s hand tightly in his own and waited another moment before he tugged on it, making Even walk. For a moment he looked frightened, like Isak had forced him into something that scared him immensely, but then he covered it up and walked. Isak didn’t like that, because that way it was harder to read if Even was doing okay, but he kept an eye on him and was sure he would notice. It was up to Even to trust Isak enough to tell him if it was too much.


	19. Fredag 12:00 (post chapter 18)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking it day by day. They were building up the Even he had been again day by day, but Isak realised that maybe he would never be the same again. He could understand that and that’s why he didn’t expect things to ever be the way they were again. No expectations, no pressure. But he did know that no matter what small things changed about Even, he would always be Even. And that meant Isak would always love him. Always.  
> \---  
> Or, part 2 of Evak and the Christmas tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really having a good day. Here is fluff though.
> 
> <3

They bought some tinsel and baubles for the tree in a cheap store, because they didn’t want to spend too much on that of course, not when there was alcohol to get. They fought over the colour for a while, but then they gave up and threw both in their basket.

Even picked up some fake mistletoe and held it above them, “I’m sorry, but you know the rule,” he looked more relaxed inside of the store, where it was less busy, and Isak gladly obliged. He closed his eyes and pouted his lips and Even kissed him, a kiss much dirtier than was appropriate in public. It left Isak blushing and unable to form any counterattack to the way Even grinned triumphantly.

Isak gaped at Even when he pulled back, “that, that should be illegal,” he joked eventually and Even laughed, his smile finally reaching his eyes. “Can we take this?” He asked, “I want to kiss you so much more at the party."

Isak blinked, shaking his head as if to clear it. Had he heard correctly? “The party? But I thought- I thought you weren’t coming?” He asked to clarify. He tried to keep his voice and his face neutral, so that if he had misunderstood, Even wouldn’t feel bad about getting him excited.

Even put the fake mistletoe back down and turned to Isak, “I wasn’t going to, but now I am.” “Okay?” Isak raised an eyebrow questioningly and Even shrugged. “I arranged with my mom that I’m coming home tomorrow instead,” He explained, “I just, I feel much better than when you first asked me. So I think I can do it. I want to show you off, I want to kiss you under the mistletoe and I want to dance with you.”

Isak smiled, feeling his cheeks heat up as he looked anywhere but at Even’s face. He hated how giddy he felt. “I- okay. We can’t get the mistletoe though,” He said, squeezing Even’s hand again. “Why not?” Even asked, using a finger to tip up Isak’s chin, forcing him to look at him. “Because it’s fake obviously. Fake mistletoe is bad, it will bring bad luck,” He lied and Even cocked an eyebrow, “well damn, then we just got back luck.”

Isak rolled his eyes, “okay, fine. It’s not really about bad luck. I just want a real one. We can get one when we get the Christmas tree. That a good compromise?” he asked. It was all about compromise for them. Even nodded and pressed their noses together, giving him an eskimo kiss before pulling back.

They paid for their stuff and walked back out into the crowd, their hands locked as promised. Compromise. Isak talked about Magnus and his crush on Vilde, hoping it would distract Even a little, but a few hundred meters further he could feel he was starting to drag Even along.

He turned to face his boyfriend, seeing the frantic look on his face. He didn’t even have to say anything. Isak pulled him to the side and they walked past a few shop windows, their steps slow and deliberate as Isak stopped whenever someone rushed past them. And then they were at a less crowded side street and Isak could breathe again.

Even looked down guiltily, like he had ruined it, but Isak hugged him. Even’s arms were shaking when he wrapped them around Isak’s waist and Isak closed his eyes and held him for a while, until he felt Even’s breath slow down again. He nuzzled below Even’s ear and pressed kisses to his neck in the gap between his scarf and his skin. “Thank you for trying,” He whispered, knowing how much it had probably taken for Even to take that step.

Taking it day by day. They were building up the Even he had been again day by day, but Isak realised that maybe he would never be the same again. He could understand that and that’s why he didn’t expect things to ever be the way they were again. No expectations, no pressure. But he did know that no matter what small things changed about Even, he would always be Even. And that meant Isak would always love him. Always.

Even broke free when he felt fine enough again to go on and he smiled at Isak, just a little, “let’s go get this damn Christmas tree.” Isak nodded and started tugging him along again, “follow me, mister.” He couldn’t explain the relief he felt when Even showed it was just a minor setback and not one that required them going back home.

“Isak!” A voice stopped them and Isak turned back to see Magnus coming towards them on his bike “I thought it was you.” Magnus had his signature big grin on his face and he had his schoolbag on his shoulders. His classes probably just finished, that or he was skipping too.

Magnus got off his bike and set it aside. “Magnus,” Isak smiled and walked into Magnus’s open arms to accept a big hug. Even got one too and Isak was glad for the way it made him smile. “Are you off or skipping?” He asked his friend and Magnus smiled, “off. Teacher let us go early. What are you two up to, Christmas shopping?”

Isak sighed, “not really. Got orders from the kosegruppa boss, a.k.a your enormous crush, to get the Christmas tree for tonight’s party,” he told Magnus. Magnus’s eyes widened, “Vilde?” Isak rolled his eyes dramatically and chuckled, “well done, you are the winner. Do you take the chicken or will you continue playing for the fridge?” Magnus laughed and Even snorted, obviously very impressed with his joke judging by the way he shook his head at him, “dork.”

Magnus scratched behind his ear, “I was actually hoping to make a move on her tonight. Do you think that would be a good idea?” He asked them and Isak almost snorted, almost. “Yeah, definitely. It’s time, dude.”

Even looked at Isak with a playful smile and then at Magnus, “hey, you know what… you should help us.” Magnus looked confused, “help?” Even nodded and Isak caught on quickly, “yeah. Help us get the Christmas tree. Then we’ll say that you did most of the work and that you really saved the party because we forgot the tinsel and stuff.”

“You think she’d like that?” He asked and Isak had to hide his laughter. God, Magnus was an idiot. “Yeah, definitely,” Isak confirmed, “she’d do anything for the kosegruppa and to hear that you were so involved in getting the Christmas tree, she’d think you were like superman or something.” Even made agreeing sounds and Magnus’s face lit up, “awesome.”

He grabbed his bike, “well, what are we waiting for then? Go on.” He started cycling, slowly so Isak and Even could keep up, and Isak was glad for Magnus’s interruption because it had improved Even’s mood so much already. He was smiling genuinely now, enjoying the way they played with Magnus’s crush on Vilde, winking at Isak like it was their little secret.

Magnus took control after that too, asking for their order and the mistletoe that Even wanted to badly. He even went with the guy to help him fetch the tree and Isak was glad to have some quiet time with Even. They shared loving looks, being completely obvious about it too, like a couple that just got together, and it made Isak really light-headed. He had a feeling things would be okay, no matter the downfalls that were probably still to come.

“I got it,” Magnus yelled as he dragged a large Christmas tree with him to where they were waiting. “Wow,” Isak stared, “that thing is huge. How did Vilde expect me to do this by myself anyway?” Magnus showed off his muscles, “if she had asked me to do it all by myself it wouldn’t have been a problem. I would have easily dragged this to wherever she wanted it to be.”

“God, are you in love,” Even commented, obviously enjoying this. Magnus threw back an, “like you aren’t. Now stop eye fucking each other and help me.” Isak blinked at his friend, feeling pure disbelief that Magnus would just say something like that, and without realising he snapped out of his, helping Magnus lift up the tree.

“Alright, let’s try it on our shoulders first, it’s easiest to carry with your back. Even, you take my bike, we can use it for when we get tired,” Magnus explained like he had already thought this through and Isak once again realised how thankful he was that Magnus had found them today.

Even took the bike and Magnus counted to three before they lifted up the Christmas tree onto their shoulders. It wasn’t that heavy, but they had quite a while to go to get to the apartment. “Okay, one, two, three and walk.”

Magnus started humming Christmas songs after a minute or two and Isak felt absolutely shocked when Even started humming along. He watched Even shrug his shoulders and his boyfriend smiled despite looking tired. He swerved closer to them and held out his free hand and Isak understood and brought down one hand to take Even’s. It made him less stable, the tree harder to carry, but he didn’t care.

They were about halfway when they were too tired to carry it any further and so they tried to get it on the bike, all three of them holding the tree on top of the steering wheel and the saddle. It slipped away almost every minute, which made them laugh and work together until they were shaking too much to really get anywhere with it.

And this was what Isak loved about Christmas. This was what he wanted to remember this year. Their laughter and jokes as they got the Christmas tree to the apartment in preparation for a party where Isak could finally be himself.

When they got to the apartment Magnus threw the tree on the ground, “it’s been fun, but I’m getting out of here. I need to prepare for my love after all. Shave and shit, buy condoms,” he smiled at them as he got on his bike, “you’ll have to get it upstairs yourself.”

Isak smiled back and waved him off as he curled an arm around Even’s waist, “we will. Thanks Magnus, we’ll see you tonight.” “Oh,” Magnus’s face lit up, “Even will be there too?” Even replied himself, leaning closer against Isak, “yes, I wouldn’t want to miss you making a move on Vilde.”

“Cool,” Magnus nodded, “alright, see you then!” They watched him ride off and then Isak bent over to pick up the mistletoe, “that was fun.” Even hummed in agreement, “it was.”

Isak raised up the mistletoe, holding it above them. “See, much better. That’s the real thing,” He told Even as he looked up at it, and Even moved closer, bringing their faces together. He nuzzled Isak’s cheek and used his cool voice as he flirted, “ _you_ are the real thing.”

Isak couldn’t help but laugh at that, but he tilted his face and kissed his boyfriend, under the mistletoe, a week before Christmas. He brought it down when his arm got tired, but Even kept kissing him, holding him close. And yeah, this was what he wanted to remember. This moment right here with Even, standing outside the apartment with his first love, kissing him and knowing they were happy together.


	20. Mandag 11:42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck it though, Isak was staring at him. He dared another glance and met the same green he had before. Isak’s head was slightly tilted to the side and his lips were parted. Even wondered what he was thinking. God, how much he would give to read his thoughts right now.  
> \---  
> Or, Stalker Even at the start of the year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei, halla, 
> 
> Super excited to share that I've written enough to post daily updates all of next week!!!! Which is great, because work starts again on Monday which means my time to write will be cut enormously :----(  
> Anyway, right now I'm freaking out thinking about S4 and going ghfurhfjnrcmk over the never-ending love you give this story!! Nearly 1300 kudos, wow!?
> 
> Lots of love and KEEP SENDING REQUESTS!!  
> Dyanne

So, Isak Valtersen. A second year student and a 99’er. Those were the first things Even found out about Isak during his first week of school. Even was two years and four months older than Isak, the only thing he didn’t know was when in June he had his birthday.

It hadn’t stopped there though, no, Even had done more research. He had first searched for Isak’s name on google and found an Instagram account named Isakyaki, which was full of pictures of him and his friends combined with lots of memes.

And a picture of himself with a girl that dated back to March. There was a <3 behind the caption and Even frowned. He hadn’t seen Isak with any girls since he started paying attention to him so he wondered if he was single again. There were 25 weeks in between that picture from March and then one at the end of summer and Even wondered if maybe Isak hadn’t posted out of heartbreak.

Apart from online research he asked a few friends and classmates about what they had heard about Isak and a few things were added to his list of facts about Isak:

  * Isak had been involved in an awful fight back when he was a first year student. The police had been involved as well and it had been messy. After that fight nothing more had happened, Isak hadn’t been involved in any other fights or been part of any known groups. Maybe he had learnt his lesson not to get involved with drama.
  * He had been living in an apartment with two roommates, who had already graduated, since the summer. No one really knew why he was living with them, but it had to do with his situation at home.
  * Since the start of his first year there had been rumours that Isak was gay, but he had had a few girlfriends since then and so either they were wrong or Isak wasn’t aware yet. Or maybe he wasn’t willing to come out of the closet yet and he was using girls as his beard. Either way, it was an interesting rumour that may work in Even’s favour.
  * He was supposedly a great rapper. Or well, the guy who told him had laughed while he said that so if he was really great was another story, but he rapped. The story behind it was that Isak had gotten drunk at a party once and decided he was going to show off his rap skills. Ever since that night they would challenge Isak at parties and he had gotten a reputation for it.



And next to asking around he also kept his eyes on Isak. He didn’t even really have to try, because somehow he always found him. And whenever Even could he drew Isak in a notebook that became completely Isak’s after the first drawing he made in there. He would add the date and pick something new he noticed about Isak. And so every week at least three new drawings were added to the collection.

The notebook was how Even came to realise that Isak almost always wore something on his head, whether a snapback or beanie, or the hood of a shirt, but he hardly let his wavy hair loose. When he did, it was carefully styled though, so Even assumed that most days Isak just didn’t feel like putting in the effort, but he was too self-conscious to go out without covering it. Even thought it was a shame, Isak’s hair was way too cute to cover it up.

When he wore a hat or a beanie he had the habit of lifting it a little to fix his hair underneath, even when the lock of hair hadn’t moved an inch, which made Even smile. On some days he even kept count of how often he saw him do it. The record was seven.

The notebook was how Even came to realise that Isak often subconsciously licked his lips. The tip of his tongue would dart out and momentarily cover up Even’s view of his lips, leaving only the clear V shape in his upper lip visible, before it disappeared again. It was incredibly distracting and Even noticed he had taken over this little thing within a week. Whenever he did it, and was aware he did it, he always thought of Isak, a smile on his face.

The notebook was how Even came to realise that Isak had the cutest dimples. If he smiled softly one dimple would appear, but his bigger smiles made two, or sometimes even three, of them appear side by side. Although only on the right side, on the left there was always just one. Even drew three pictures that day. One with Isak’s dreamy face, one with a tiny smile and one with a big grin. That way he’d remember all three.

The notebook was how Even came to realise that whenever Isak tried to be cool he faked this stereotype rap guy and used his hands a lot and made dramatic faces until his friends were laughing at him and he couldn’t hold in his own laughter any longer.

\---

It was on a Monday morning when Even was walking down the hallway and turned a corner to spot Isak standing next to his locker. Even had figured out a lot, but not where Isak’s locker was, and he stepped out of the swarm of students and pressed himself against the wall so he could take this in.

He watched Isak from the other end of the hallway and tried to remember which locked was his. The second row to the left, second locker from the top. Alright, he could remember that. But the unsettling feeling inside of him didn’t fade now he had assured himself he knew which locker was Isak’s.

His leg was twitchy and he licked his lips quickly, cursing when he realised what he did. So, he could do one out of two things. He could casually walk by and hope Isak would notice him, maybe he could even drop something to get his attention. Or he could grow some balls and walk straight up to him to introduce himself.

And why wouldn’t he? Isak was just another guy, why did Even feel so damn nervous about this? He wanted to leave a good first impression, a lasting one. One that would make Isak as interested in Even as Even had been in him. He wanted to sit down with this boy and be able to stare at him without feeling creepy.

So what did he have to lose? Nothing.

Even took a deep breath and briefly closed his eyes before he opened them with renewed confidence and started making his way down the hallway. He was walking straight up to Isak, who was flipping through the pages of the book he was holding and frowned before he tried to push it back into the locker. And he looked so striking like that, while doing something so simple, and everything changed.

So what did he have to lose? Everything.

The one chance he had to leave a first impression on this beautiful boy; the snapback wearing, lip-licking, loud laughing boy he had come to adore. If this went wrong he may never get another chance at getting close to him. This was too careless, just walking up to him without any plan at all. And so he swerved.

As he passed he let his eyes roam over Isak’s face before he looked at Isak’s locker. And Isak didn’t notice him, too busy with his books, and Even walked on like nothing had happened. It wasn’t nothing though. He had another thing to add to his list.

  * His locker number was 535. Inside the locker it was a big mess of notebooks, school books and a bunch of other things Even hadn’t really had time to check out.



Even drew a comic of this during his hour off right before lunch break. He sat back and threw his legs up on the table as he opened his notebook. He scribbled a 535 on the locker and added the lock, wondering what Isak’s code would be. Was it his birthday? Or maybe the letters of his name turned into the numbers they would be on a phone. 4725 that would be. Or 0000, easy to remember.

He looked up when a group of guys walked past and sat down at the table across from where he was sitting. Even barely registered that it was Isak’s group of friends, but when he did, he slammed his notebook shut and felt instant panic rise in his chest. Had they walked by close enough to see?

They all seemed unfazed though, even Isak, and he calmed down again. He could hear them talk about the weekend, about hooking up with girls, and he saw Isak stare at his food, looking completely indifferent to it all. It made him smile and he really wanted to draw Isak’s face like that, portraying a more gloomy emotion, but two girls came up to him and made that impossible.

“Hey, I’m Vilde,” One of them said, smiling brightly at him, “I’ve never seen you before. Did you transfer here this year?” She looked like the type of girl who knew everything that was going on at school, the type of girl who wanted to be popular. The other girl stood next to Vilde and she only smiled at him and told him, “Sana.” Obviously she knew to let her friend do the talking.

“Uh, yeah. I’m Even, I transferred from Bakka after the summer,” He told her and she nodded, still smiling, “cool. Are you a Russ?” she asked then and Even clicked his tongue while cocking an eyebrow, he hated that term, “yeah.” Her smile brightened and she actually clapped her hands, making him laugh, “great. We could use a few third years.”

Vilde pointed at Sana and then herself, “we’re the group leaders of the kosegruppa and we were hoping you’d like to join the revue this year, or at least until Russ time,” she paused for a second and when Even didn’t immediately reply, only raising his eyebrows slightly, she went on, “It will be fun! We will organise parties and do fun things together like baking and theatre and stuff.”

Even laughed at her face which showed him pure excitement. She was so invested with this idea and it was nice to see someone excited about something. He understood that passion. “We have a group meeting next Friday, will you come? You don’t immediately have to decide if you want to come, but we’d really like it if you came, right Sana?” Vilde went on, not even letting Sana talk before giving him more reasons as to why he should, but Even lost track after that.

He felt eyes on him and he looked up to meet them, realising the second he saw them that it was Isak. Isak was looking at him, holy shit. He looked away again, but he could still see from the corner of his eyes that Isak was staring. Why? Was something wrong with him, like a dirty stain on his shirt? Was he just staring off into space and Even thought it was him he was looking at? Or maybe Isak had seen his drawing after all and felt creeped out.

Fuck it though, Isak was staring at him. He dared another glance and met the same green he had before. Isak’s head was slightly tilted to the side and his lips were parted. Even wondered what he was thinking. God, how much he would give to read his thoughts right now.

“So?” Vilde asked, drawing back his attention, and Even cleared his throat while he thought it through. It might be complicated to deal with in his last year, especially considering his personal issues. And it might be boring. It would probably be boring. “Eh, can I think about it? I’m not sure yet how much spare time I’ll have,” He told her.

It was better than flat out telling her no and Vilde seemed to appreciate it. She smiled and pulled on Sana’s arm, “alright. Find me when you’ve made up your mind.” He gave her a single nod and then she bounced off to Isak’s table. He tried listening, but as soon as Isak’s friends started making up excuses he knew that he wouldn’t go to the kosegruppa meeting. The only way it would be worth it was if Isak was there.


	21. Torsdag 11:56 - Fredag 19:15 (post chapter 20)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And there he was. Isak was sitting on the lowest step on the left side, as close to the exit as he could, his phone in his hand. Their eyes met for a second and then Isak looked away, obviously feeling like he had been caught. And that was good, that was excellent. So much better than Even could have hoped for.  
> \---  
> Or, part 1 of the first Kosegruppa meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,
> 
> So, work will start again... and I'm thankful so I won't check the comments and shit on this fic as much anymore. :---)  
> Alright, so, yeah just enjoy!
> 
> Bye

When Vilde came over, a list in her hands for the kosegruppa meeting, he instantly tried to think of a way to let her down gently. She pushed the list in his hand though, “we’re putting it up soon, but we decided to go back to the ones who were still doubting whether to come or not. So, have you made up your mind? Are you coming to spread love?” She looked so hopeful, so desperate too, and Even felt bad.

He cocked an eyebrow and looked at the list in his hands, “look, Vilde, I-“ he started, trying to think of what he could say that would be reason enough for her to leave him alone, but he paused when he saw Isak’s name on the list. He frowned at that, because he had been sure that Isak’s friends had complained about it being on Friday. He had been sure that Isak wasn’t going to come, but here his name was scrawled onto the list.

“Yeah?” Vilde asked hopefully and Even realised he had been talking and she was waiting for him to go on. He took the pen and put his name down, “I’ll be there. I want to check it out first though, so I can’t promise I’ll be there after the first meeting.” He wanted to make sure that Isak would really be there and that he could get out in case he wasn’t. He wasn’t going to waste his time there unless Isak was included.

“Alright, sure. You won’t be disappointed, though, I’m sure you’ll love it. We will see you there then,” Vilde smiled brightly and bounced off to a few others who were sitting near him. He sat back and got out his notebook. He wanted to draw this moment so he would never forget it. The name on the paper, his handwriting, he just had to get it down on paper.

This, this kosegruppa meeting, it was his shot at connecting with Isak for a completely valid reason. His shot to stare without it being strange. Or, well, without it being _too_ strange.

He was already thinking about what to wear to the meeting and he definitely had to think of what to say and where to sit. Everything had to be perfect or else the probability of him fucking up would be much higher. He had to be smooth, get Isak apart somehow and get him to talk to him. That way he could introduce himself and then, with the right amount of mystery, would be able to lure him in and keep him wondering.

Even laughed at himself and how weird he was for planning this, but he knew himself. He knew that he had a habit of rambling about weird stuff if he let himself go without control. He would come up with long lasting jokes that seemed believable at first, but he’d keep adding weird stuff. He did that when he got nervous. He needed to prepare himself mentally or else he’d get too nervous to stay calm.

It shouldn’t be difficult though, it wasn’t as if Even hadn’t been daydreaming about talking to Isak for weeks now. He had about twenty different ideal conversations thought out already, but he realised that everything past the opening line wouldn’t be predictable. And that put extra pressure on the opening line that Even just had to perfect.

No, it would take a lot of preparation, mentally then.

\---

**Fredag 17:53**

Even took almost an hour to get ready. Having a crisis as he stood in front of his closet and stared at his clothes. Nothing felt worthy of being worn the first time Even would talk to the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on. Then again, wearing a suit would definitely be over the top and would only scare Isak away instead of pull him in.

Eventually he laughed and shook his head, picking something he liked and knew looked good on him. Then came styling his hair, which was another matter that took quite a lot of time. Even wasn’t usually this vain, but this was about Isak and everything had to be right.

He almost felt like someone with OCD the way he was doing this all, needing everything to be absolutely, 100% perfect, and he forced himself to look at himself in the mirror. “Come on Even, if you put in too much effort he will notice too. Just be yourself, your normal self,” He told himself as he took a few deep breaths. He put down the bottle of gel and stepped away. Done.

He cycled to school slowly, wanting to be as late as possible. That way it was most likely Isak was there already, if he had really come, and Even could strategically decide where to sit down. Not only that, it also guaranteed that Isak would most likely see him walk in. He had thought about that too.

There were already a lot of people in the auditorium and Even was actually surprised to see so many people showed up. Vilde and Sana stood close to the door, and another girl Even didn’t know was standing next to them. Vilde was actually holding a basket of bread and Even shook his head as he chuckled. Well, at least she hadn’t made any false promises.

“Hello,” He said politely while he walked up to them. Vilde grinned at him instantly, “hi! How nice that you wanted to come,” she told him. Even glanced at the crowd to see if he could spot Isak from the corner of his eyes, but he couldn’t yet. “Yeah. So, just find yourself a seat, and then..” Vilde went on, but Even was looking around the room, now having an excuse to, “we’ll get started.”

And there he was. Isak was sitting on the lowest step on the left side, as close to the exit as he could, his phone in his hand. Their eyes met for a second and then Isak looked away, obviously feeling like he had been caught. And that was good, that was excellent. So much better than Even could have hoped for.

“Do you want a bun, maybe?” Vilde went on when he didn’t walk off yet, “I’ve made them myself.” Even took one and smiled at the three girls, “cool. I’m exicted.” His feet bounced as he climbed the steps to sit right next to Isak, but one step higher. Distance, but not too much.

From there he could watch Isak’s back without anyone noticing and he could tell Isak was in the middle of a conversation, maybe with his friends. He swore he could hear him huff. It was strange to see him here by himself and it made him think about why exactly Isak was here when his friends had decided not to come. Even couldn’t imagine he was that desperate for ‘love’ and cooking and whatever else Vilde had promised.

“Hey!” A girl who really had to be a first year student stopped in front of Isak, smiling at him in a way that Even didn’t like. “The kosegruppa. Yay!” She went on and Even checked Isak’s posture, saw he hadn’t really moved. He looked uninterested. Thankfully.

Even could hear a slightly awkward laugh as Isak responded, “yay.” The girl didn’t leave though, “we looked at the group listings during the break and were like ‘where are the cool people in this school?’. And then… the kosegruppa, of course.”

Even watched her movements intently and he narrowed his eyes a little as he realised that she was flirting. She was flirting with Isak. Really now? And Isak wasn’t freaking out about it so he must know this girl. He did still sound uninterested though when he replied with nothing but, “awesome.”

The girl and her friends walked in further, there not being enough space around Isak for them all to fit. It didn’t matter though, because whether she sat there or not her intentions were clear. She had been flirting. She wanted Isak too.

This complicated things, because Even hadn’t known about this girl. He had no clue how invested Isak was in this girl and how they knew each other. It made one thing clear though: if he wanted a shot with Isak, he had to talk to him tonight. If he didn’t, this first year girl would steal him away.

Vilde started talking, but Even only half listened. He was too busy thinking about his plan and how to make sure he would talk to Isak before the night was over. He picked up again when Vilde started talking about splitting up in groups. That was perfect. “or duos, because you’ll be two.” Even more perfect.

The best way to spend time with Isak was to get in a duo with him. But how could he do that? Just casually slip down a step and introduce himself? Tell him he was new, a transfer, and didn’t know anyone and could Isak please be in a duo with him?

Maybe, if only Vilde would stop talking and let them pair up already. “So, I thought we would have a ‘love’ exercise,” Vilde said next, “if everyone could just get up.” Oh god, no. No, Even hated doing these types of exercises with a whole group. He just wanted to talk to Isak already and get it over with.

He got up though, putting his hands in his pockets while he stared at Isak to see where he would stand. He looked just as uncomfortable as Even felt. ‘Okay, go for it, now. Do it now you have the chance’ Even told himself and he took a step down, wanting to turn to Isak, but Isak had turned away from him.

Even was about to open his mouth but Isak was walking away and someone bumped his shoulder. He turned back to the group to see them spread in a circle and as requested they all took each other’s hands. Even took another step down and looked back to the door to see Isak had disappeared already.

“Even, are you joining?” Vilde asked when she saw he was doubting. What could he possibly do now? Isak had left and going after him would be strange and wouldn’t get him anywhere. So he just had to accept that he lost his chance tonight. “Yeah,” He said as he stepped into the circle, holding hands with the two people that made room for him.


	22. Fredag 19:15 (post chapter 21)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “In a group together with…,” He said again and Even saved him. Of course he saved him. He held out his hand for the girl to shake, “Even.” Isak repeated his name next to him and it sounded beautiful coming from him. It got Even so distracted he almost missed the girl's name, “Emma.”  
> \---  
> Or, part 2 of the first Kosegruppa meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where are the comments :------(  
> Tell me what you think and what you want to read next!!  
> Up next is the cheese toastie scene in 3 parts.

The whole activity wasn’t that noteworthy and once it was over and people started talking to each other, probably making duos, and Even excused himself. He walked to the bathroom, only needing to get a break. He got out a joint, putting it behind his ear for later, and then pushed open the door to the bathroom.

His ear immediately picked up video game sounds from one of the stalls. He listened for a moment and hear a tiny groan that he swore he recognised. Could it be…? It had to be. He hadn’t seen anyone else leave. Maybe Isak had wanted to avoid the whole activity only to return after.

He went into the stall next to Isak’s and took his time, trying to think of what he could do now Isak was still there. When he flushed he heard the video game noises stop and Even thought maybe luck was in his favour that night. He walked out of the stall and got some soap on his hands, dragging the moment of cleaning his hands as he waited for Isak to come out. What could he say now though? He hadn’t thought this through.

And then Isak had come out of his stall and Even could feel his eyes on him. He was freaking out inside, still so unsure of what to say or do to impress him. ‘Do something’ repeated itself in his head like a mantra, and when he reached over to pull out the first tissue to dry off his hands, he just kept going. It wasn’t a deliberate move, but as he stood there all he could think was ‘go big or go home’.

‘Fake it till you make it’ had never been so appropriate. He was sure Isak could tell what he was going when he looked up and pulled a shocked expression when he saw Isak’s face. He raised his eyebrows and told himself to fucking speak up already. He faked the realisation that he knew why Isak was staring and asked him, “did you also need tissues?”

Isak looked confused, like he couldn’t believe this was actually happening right before his eyes, and Even felt ridiculous. He wasn’t going to let that show though. He still had Isak’s attention. He looked back at the bunch of tissues he had dropped in the bin and he took one of them out, straightening it. He realised he wasn’t being his normal self, this was a ridiculous way of flirting and he had known this would happen, that’s why he had tried to prepare. He was too nervous now.

He handed the tissue to Isak and smiled at him, waiting for him to look up again before he playfully raised his eyebrows again. He knew his smile always worked best, but Isak wasn’t smiling back. He was still giving him this shocked expression and Even was done with it.

He took the joint he had put behind his ear and held it, making sure Isak saw it, before he walked past him, “come outside,” he ordered. Now Isak knew it was because of the smoke and not because Even was that much of a creep he wanted to take Isak outside for some other reason. He really wasn’t that much of a creep.

Even rushed as he walked, wanting to get outside first, and he sat down on the top part of the bench, his feet on the seating, trying to look cool as he lit his smoke. And Isak had followed him. So that part of his plan was achieved at least. He had to think fast though, come up with what to say. He had to stay cool now, mysterious. Thankfully the joint helped him some. It felt like getting into character.

He took a drag as Isak stopped next to the bench and as he blew out the smoke he offered the joing to Isak, who took it gratefully. He probably wanted a hit so he could forget how strange their meeting had been. Even decided to tone down the weirdness and have a normal conversation now.

Even kept his eyes on Isak’s face as the boy sat down next to him. He let himself take in his face from this close. They had never been this close before. Isak was possibly even more handsome up close than he was from far away. He tried to come up with something to say, but he was a little awe struck by this discovery.

Isak wasn’t talking either, he took a deep drag and blew out the smoke. He looked good while smoking. Even was glad he didn’t have anything against it either. Still, he felt weird with how different he felt inside than he was allowed to portray on the outside. He wasn’t allowed to call Isak beautiful and he wasn’t allowed to kiss him either.

They couldn’t stay silent forever though. Then his plan would fail. He had to talk to Isak, make sure he was interested in him and give a few slight hints at himself being into guys. Otherwise Isak would never know what he wanted.

Small talk first. “Do you know the group leader lady?” He asked, pretending not to know her name. As if Vilde hadn’t made clear her name was Vilde at least ten times already. Isak seemed to think the same about her. “Vilde?” Isak smiled a little and then he laughed, it was almost a snort, and Even’s insides melted, “with the ‘love’ exercise?” He was so adorable.

He frowned and couldn’t help himself, “what was that?” he asked, referring to the love exercise, and Isak laughed. “I mean-,” He said as Even shook his head, wanting to comment about how Isak had left Even there all by himself, and Isak laughed again, “I had to leave, I just couldn’t deal with that stuff. What happened?”

And this was his chance, his time to make a joke and maybe throw in something gay there too. He pulled a face, “she made us walk around, uh, and feel each other up in a dark room.” He turned to face Isak, “and if you touched a dick, you had to suck it.” The look on Isak’s face told him instantly that this boy was too gullible.

Even raised his eyebrows, showing him that clearly he was joking, and Isak laughed incredulously, “no!?” Even laughed fully then, “no,” he bumped their shoulders together and listened to Isak laugh until it turned into a cough. This was good, this was chill.

Even’s smile slowly faded and he looked up at Isak’s beautiful face again, thinking of what he could say next, but he couldn’t think of anything so quickly. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself now things were going so well either, so he leaned into Isak’s space and took back the joint, lingering just a little too long.

He took a hit as a comfortable silence fell over them and he wondered if he should say something more or if it was best to let Isak take the next step. It would become awkward soon if Even was the only one initiating the conversation.

And then Isak did just that and spoke up, “what class are you in?” and Even felt kind of victorious. Isak had asked him a question about his life, showing interest in him. Thank god for his luck tonight. He had to keep it cool though, he couldn’t let his voice betray him. “3STB,” He replied, trying to sound like it was nothing.

“But…,” Isak went on and Even took another drag to busy himself, “you didn’t go here last year?” Had Isak noticed? Had he seen Even before and thought about that? Even had to push the thought away. Of course Isak hadn’t really noticed him before, because he would have noticed. It had probably just been that time when he caught Isak staring at him while Vilde stood with him? He shook his head and let out the smoke, “no. Bakka,” he offered as an explanation.

Isak took back the joint, “you transferred your final year?” he asked, putting the joint to his lips, and Even was about to answer when they were interrupted. “So this is where you are,” the girl from before stood in front of them, giving her attention mostly to Isak. “Hey,” she said quietly.

Isak gave the joint back to Even, as if he didn’t want the girl to see him smoke, and Even took it. He felt extremely annoyed though. He smiled politely, but on the inside he was already thinking of ways to murder this girl or make her shut up. “Hi,” Isak told her.

“We’re in the process of grouping up and we’ll have to be in pairs,” she started and Even knew this would happen. He knew, but he had gotten to Isak first. He had gotten Isak to go outside and he wanted to be a pair with him in more than one way. “And I don’t really know… a lot of people,” the girl went on, “I mean, I know Maria, but she’s with Lea.” And there it came, Even could predict it so easily, “So I was wondering if you wanted to pair up with me?”

Even couldn’t just sit here and let her steal his boy, not after all the damn trouble and embarrassment he went through to get here in the first place. So he leaned in, their shoulders bumping again, and he spoke to Isak only, “I thought we were in a group together?”

Isak turned his head towards Even slightly and after a short pause he said, “yeah.” Even felt so smug and he brought up his joint again to take a triumphant drag, but Isak was still talking, “I had kind of agreed to be in a group together with…,” he paused and covered up with a cough. And that’s when Even realised he had never really introduced himself.

“In a group together with…,” He said again and Even saved him. Of course he saved him. He held out his hand for the girl to shake, “Even.” Isak repeated his name next to him and it sounded beautiful coming from him. It got Even so distracted he almost missed the girl's name, “Emma.”

Isak shrugged, leaning onto the back of the bench, “so…” and Emma tried again, “I’m sure we could be three,” she suggested. Isak made a thoughtful ‘uh’ sound and Even tried to save him again, “I think, she said to be in pairs… but I don’t care.” He looked at Isak, keeping their upper arms touching as he waited for Isak to respond.

“Yeah, it did seem like Vilde was really clear on it having to be pairs. But, Jesus Christ, we could just ask,” Isak reasoned. Emma looked disappointed though that she wouldn’t have Isak for herself, and Even felt way too self-satisfied. “Yeah okay, but, yeah. Okay,” Emma stuttered a little, “we’ll do that then.”

Emma sat down next to Isak and Even could tell Isak didn’t want her to. He could hear it in his voice too, “we’ll do that, yeah. I’m sure it will be okay.” Even decided not to pay any attention to Emma, only to Isak. He tried to hand him the joint again, but Isak seemed hesitant, “hm? Me?” he asked and he made a face, “no, I’ve had enough.”

Either he was just as annoyed they got interrupted by Emma, or he really didn’t want anyone else to know he smoked, but whatever the reason, Even didn’t feel less smug. He took it back and brought it to his lips once more, but then Emma interrupted again, “could I have a drag?” she asked.

Even made a surprised face, she seemed much too sweet and young to smoke, but maybe she was trying to impress Isak just as much as him. She was competition and she was trying. He handed her the joint, not wanting to make a big deal of it. Secretly though, he wanted to see her struggle with it. And she did, she barely took a drag at all, so Even looked away and stared up at the sky. He didn’t have to worry about Emma.

“Let’s go back inside,” Isak said after a minute of uneasy silence and Emma was quick to agree. Even couldn’t help but smile, especially not when Isak waited for him to get up before he started walking back to school.

“Hey, I’ll need your number then,” Even said as he walked next to Isak, invading his space on purpose and Isak stuttered and, “uh.. yeah sure. Give me your phone.” Even got it out of his pocket and handed it to Isak, who put it in as he walked.

When he handed him his phone back they were almost at the auditorium and Even checked to see ‘Isak Kosegruppa’ added to his list. He grinned and opened a chat and started typing a message so Isak would get his phone number too.

Isak reached for his phone a few seconds later and opened Even’s text. A smile spread across his face and he looked up at Even, cocking an eyebrow. And that, well that was hopeful.

Goal achieved.

His phone buzzed and Even looked at it, seeing he actually got a reply. And he grinned, because if only Isak knew. If only he knew.


	23. Fredag 15:50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opening the front door to the house made something snap in him. He couldn’t fake being some cool guy here, he couldn’t. This was his house, the only place where he could be himself. He kicked off his shoes when no one replied to his “Hello?” and heard Isak close the front door behind him.  
> \---  
> Or, part 1 of the Cheese Toastie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please never stop leaving comments, I love them sooooo much!!! 
> 
> OKAY. I NEED YOUR HELP!!!  
> So, I've had the request to write the scene in the shower with the famous sext that follows.  
> Question is, what happened in the shower????? Or, what do you hope happened in the shower????? what do you want to read????? So, help me by answering this one question in google forms. It's anonymous so don't worry about sharing your kinks :----)
> 
> https://goo.gl/forms/XrenXkmDRTbZX6Yt1
> 
> TAKK!

Monday was a good day. Even felt amazing as he thought back to Friday and the kosegruppa meeting. It had been so bad that he had been looking forward to Monday since the moment he had said goodbye on Friday night.

The thought of texting Isak had occurred more than once, but he was still working on his plan: staying cool and mysterious. He had to make sure that Isak wanted to know more about him and he wouldn’t achieve that if he handed him everything on a silver platter.

Still he walked the school hallways like he was the most popular guy in the school, like he had just scored with the prettiest girl of the school. And he had, but then the prettiest boy. He just couldn’t help himself.

It wasn’t until Wednesday though that he really got to see Isak again. It hadn’t taken him long to spot him, he was standing with his friends after all. Vilde stood there too, she was talking to them, probably about kosegruppa, and Even smiled briefly before he made his way over to his own friends.

He had barely set two steps when he was sure he felt eyes on him and it was strange, because how on earth could he feel that when Isak was so far away, but sure, when he slowly turned his head a little to check, he saw Isak was staring at him.

Even kept his gaze, trying not to freak out because his crush was looking at him, fucking finally, after months of Even looking at him. It felt almost like dare, to see how long he could keep eye contact, but he didn’t want to come across as desperate. That, and walking into someone because he wasn’t paying attention was anything but cool of course. Mostly though he didn’t want to seem as desperate as he truly was.

So he looked away, averting his eyes slowly while he reached inside his pocket for his sunglasses. He had a reason, the sun was shining after all, but he had more or less brought it for the vibe he would give off. Because a guy wearing sunglasses in October was mysterious and vague. Why would he wear them if not to look chill?

It was also the perfect way to sneak glances at Isak without Isak being able to tell, and Even was damn pleased to find Isak was still watching him. Bingo. Plant a seed and watch it grow. If only Even wasn’t so damn impatient.

One of his friends started talking to him and he tried to listen, but his eye caught a group of girls making their way over to Isak and his friends. Emma. She stood there, demanding attention, and talked to them for a minute. And then the clique turned around again and walked back to school. Even could see Emma’s smile from where he was sitting, the girls around her giving her looks and holding on to her arm giddily.

He sighed and leaned back against the wall, telling himself to pay more attention to his friends. So Emma hadn’t given up yet. Understandable, because Even was a guy and she didn’t expect him to be competition. That, or Isak had already given her the idea he was interested in her, which was a worse thing for him to think about.

He just had to believe that if things were meant to be then he would end up with Isak. Things were complicated enough with Emma and Sonja, and of course his disorder. If he ever got far enough with Isak to have a shot at being with him then those things would be the next bumps in the road to get over, but for now all he needed was a sign that he wasn’t an idiot for trying to get close to him.

And he got that sign on Friday when Isak stepped into the same tram he was on.

He was so caught up in his phone that he didn’t notice he was standing right next to Even. It was a sign though, because Isak could have flopped down on any of the available seats there were at this hour, but still he didn’t. He was standing right next to Even.

Even couldn’t believe it, he really couldn’t. Isak was there, by his side, like he belonged there. Now he knew it was okay to take this further and so he put on a smile and cleared his throat, “hey.” Isak looked up, looking surprised to see Even there and Even just stared at him.

“Hey,” Isak replied before he looked away. Even could tell he was thinking about something and Even wondered if it had to do with him. If Isak had thought about him in a certain way that made him quiet now. Even wouldn’t let him go now though, “on your way home?” he asked him.

Isak still didn’t look at him though as he answered, “yeah.” Finally his beautiful green eyes moved up to his, “you too?” Even gave a nod, trying to keep Isak’s eyes on him, but it was no use. Something was distracting him. He wondered if maybe he was in a fight with someone or if maybe someone he knew had died or was hurt. It couldn’t be that he didn’t like talking to Even, right?

He stared outside, laughing at himself a little. Maybe Isak had heard rumours about why he transferred from Bakka and decided he wanted nothing to do with him. He wouldn’t just let this happen though, he wouldn’t. He had worked too hard for this to let it slip away. But what could he say in this awkward situation? Well, something just as awkward maybe.

“Awesome conversation,” He brought out and he laughed, trying to keep it light and show he didn’t mean anything bad with it. One side of Isak’s mouth quirked up in half a smile but he didn’t reply, which only confirmed that something was up.

Isak surprised him when he did finally say something, “you- you’re eightteen, right?” Even felt curious as to why Isak was asking him, so he gave a nod. “Could you possibly buy some beer?” He asked. Even tried not to show how his face fell. Isak only needed him to help buy beer, really?

He shrugged, “uhm, yeah. Sure.” “Cool,” Isak said and he went back to his phone until Even told him it was his stop. Isak got off with him and Even led the way to the closest store that sold beer, which was only about a minute away from his house.

He let Isak wait outside and walked in, staring at all the beer. He got out his wallet and saw his ID there, and that’s when an idea struck him. It definitely involved lying, but the universe had given him a sign. They were supposed to happen, so maybe a little lying wouldn’t hurt. He could call it a white lie.

He put his wallet away again and walked back out with smooth, confident steps. He tapped his hands against his pockets and pretended not to be nervous. Just order him to follow, don’t give him time to think. If he’s desperate for beer he will follow anyway.

“I managed to forget my ID. I need to go home and get it. Join me,” He explained himself and like he had told himself he walked off the second he was done with it. And Isak followed.

\---

Opening the front door to the house made something snap in him. He couldn’t fake being some cool guy here, he couldn’t. This was his house, the only place where he could be himself. He kicked off his shoes when no one replied to his “Hello?” and heard Isak close the front door behind him.

He walked straight to his bedroom, knowing Isak was only here now to wait for him to find his ID and Even knew he had to lie again to make him stay. He pretended to search the room while Isak looked around, getting to know the bits and pieces of himself that he had put on display. His guitars, the drawings on his closet. Even was glad that all his Isak drawings were safely stored in his Isak notebook.

“Did you draw these?” Isak asked, genuinely smiling at him for the first time that day. Even looked at what Isak was staring at and then answered with a short, “yeah.” “They’re good,” Isak pointed out, moving closer to look at the details and Even watched him for a moment, feeling warm at the compliment, “thanks.” Not many people got to see his drawings so he didn’t get a lot of compliments and Sonja didn’t count, because she was his girlfriend.

“Really funny,” He could hear Isak mumble under his breath and Even dropped his bag and thought ‘for you I’d make all the drawings in the world’. The thought was embarrassing and he rolled his eyes at himself. “Do you think so?” He asked instead and Isak hummed in reply.

He thought he had spent enough time fake searching for his ID and so he got out a joint, knowing it would help him relax and feel less nervous if they’d smoke together. “Here it is,” He said before he walked a little closer to Isak while the boy asked, “did you find it?”

Even sighed, “no, but…” and then held up the joint so Isak would see. Isak smiled instantly and appeared not to mind that they wouldn’t be going out yet to buy beer. He dropped his schoolbag and took off his coat as Even looked for a lighter.

“Do you smoke a lot?” Isak asked him and Even hummed as he opened a window, “a lot, what is a lot?” He asked, quirking one side of his mouth. Be mysterious and a little honest. “It helps me relax,” he admitted as he sat himself down in the windowsill and lit the joint.

“No shit,” Isak laughed as he slowly walked up to the windowsill too, still a little hesitant, as if he didn’t know what to do now, whether Even expected him to sit with him. Even laughed as he motioned for Isak to sit down, trying to keep it light, “I know right, but that’s pretty necessary for me. I can get quite anxious.” He looked outside as he handed Isak the joint.

Isak took it, “oh.” He went quiet after that and Even wondered if maybe that had been a little too honest for now. He cleared his throat, “do you? Smoke a lot, I mean?” he asked and Isak shrugged before handing back the joint, “mostly at parties. Maybe once a week.”

“Cool,” Even said as he blew out smoke and he decided to move on to a different topic, “so, you’re in your second year now right?” Isak nodded, “yeah.” “So you’re like, what, seventeen now?” Even asked, wanting to make sure his information was right. Isak blew smoke back at him and leaned back against the windowsill, “yeah. Will take a while before I’m eighteen too.”

Even brought his leg up casually, “yeah? How long then?” He tried not to sound like he really cared to know and Isak didn’t look suspicious when he said, “June. June 21st.” Even stored it away while he nodded and looked outside. The sun was out today, which made it feel nice, and Even actually felt calm now. His crush was sitting there with him and he wasn’t nervous anymore.

“I actually skipped my last lecture,” Isak admitted then and Even gasped, “you did not. How dare you, you’re not a perfect student?” Isak grinned and raised an eyebrow, “what, for real? You’re a nerd?” He sounded disappointed almost, as if he couldn’t tell from everything Even portrayed that he really wasn’t a perfect student. Even shook his head then, “no, no.”

“Well be glad I did, otherwise I wouldn’t even have run into you and we wouldn’t be sitting here,” Isak went on and Even narrowed his eyes slightly, “no, that’s true. You’d be missing out on my awesome personality.” “Nah, I’d be missing out on free weed,” Isak joked in return and Even was impressed. Isak was good at these jokes too, a true opponent.

Even used his foot to kick Isak’s upper leg and Isak whined, “eh!” They laughed and went quiet for a little, sharing their smoke, and then Isak hummed, “so, yeah. You haven’t been over-, you haven’t been away?” Isak was watching him, his head tilted to the side as he waited for Even to reply.

Even felt his heart thumping in his chest, the weed combined with Isak’s presence was already getting to him, “just left early. I don’t know, like, is that okay?” He asked. Isak laughed at him again and it lit up the green in his eyes. He looked so breath-taking in the sunlight. “You haven’t gotten with the system… I don’t fucking know,” Isak shrugged his shoulders slightly, “I skipped a few classes, but…”

He couldn’t stop staring, he really couldn’t. Isak looked as passionate and as happy as he had done the first day Even had seen him, when he was with his friends, and Even felt honoured to be part of that.

“What’s the limit?” He asked, wanting to get Isak to keep talking. Isak looked away, back to what he had been looking at outside of the window, “the limit’s ten percent.” He licked his lips, making Even lose it slightly and he copied it himself. “But if the principle likes you, you get fifteen,” He went on, looking back to Even with a three dimpled smile. And that was just really unfair of him.

“Are you for real?” Even asked, unable to hold his smile now Isak was opening up to him. The two dimples stayed as he talked, making it incredibly hard to focus, “yeah, but I don’t think the principle likes me.”

 

\---

_PLEASE REMEMBER TO FILL IN THE FORM:<https://goo.gl/forms/XrenXkmDRTbZX6Yt1>_


	24. Fredag 17:17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The only thing I'd be spreading is salmonella," Isak snorted and Even couldn't hold his laughter at Isak's serious face, making Isak laugh again too. His body hurt from all their giggling, their high had made everything ten times funnier. "For fuck's sake, I don't know how to cook," Isak cackled and Even leaned over, a hand on Isak's leg, "me neither."  
> \---  
> Or, part 2 of the Cheese Toastie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I asked for input and fucking hell did I get some. Jesus you guys, some of you have weird ass fucking ideas. 
> 
> Also, some of your comments make me emotional and maybe I'm just in a mood, but holy shit. You're all so super sweet.   
> Tomorrow is the last part of this scene before we move on to the next. I'm still a little unsure about which so tell me:  
> 1\. The pool scene from Even's POV   
> 2\. Isak's POV of his night after he found out about Even's disorder (aka post hotel scene)
> 
> Takk <333

Even decided to make it a little more personal then, wanting to talk about something he was passionate about. Isak was opening up to him now and Even wanted to get to know him, wanted to see if their personalities matched.

“What do you listen to?” He asked Isak while he held out the joint for him to take, longing for that moment their hands would touch again. “Yeah, if you listen to music,” He added in case Isak didn’t listen to music. That would be awful though. Who could live without listening to music?

Isak laughed awkwardly, as if this was a really difficult question to answer and he rubbed his eye as if he was trying to get something out. Definitely avoiding eye contact. “I’m a pretty big fan on NWA, but…,” and Even commented, sounding amused as he joked, “that’s what you listen to before school to get hyped?”

Isak sat back again, but he still didn’t dare look at Even. Even got that, because music was so personal. No one wanted to be made fun of for their personal taste. “It’s like,” Isak started, “the kind of music you listen to when you want to walk around and feel cool.” He was staring outside and Even wanted to tell him that to Even he would always be adorable first and cool after, but he didn’t. That would be damn weird.

“Have you listened to Nas?” Even started as Isak tried to rap a bit of NWA and Even wondered if Isak had heard him, but before he could say it again Isak already answered, “Mh, Nas?” He pulled a face as if he had to think if he knew about it and it was so obvious he didn’t.

Even held his smile though, he liked seeing Isak struggle. He obviously didn’t want to come across as an idiot and Even decided to tease him a little, “are you kidding?” Isak stopped pondering and looked at Even “Hmm?” There was a tiny frown between his eyebrows, which just made Even think of how cute he looked. “You haven’t checked it out?” He asked, seeing Isak try and pull a cool face again.

“If I’ve listened to it? I’ve listened to it..,” He lied. Isak was good at avoiding eye contact when he was nervous or lying, that was good information to store away. “Nas?” Even asked once more, sounding surprised, and Isak completely embarrassed himself by voicing three different pronunciations of the name. He didn’t even known how to pronounce it.

Even decided to confront him, smiling as he said, “have you even listened to it?” Isak didn’t budge though, “I have listened to it a little!” Even shook his head, “it doesn’t sound like it.” And Isak looked caught. He was smiling though, two dimples visible, and Even would take that any day.

Isak wouldn’t give up though and he mumbled, “fuck, I’ve listened to it.” Even flicked the joint in this ashtray and sat back, “we’ll listen to him later,” he promised, showing he didn’t care that Isak didn’t know Nas. He could teach him all about it later, get him as addicted as Even was.

Isak didn’t try to fight him anymore and they were quiet, Even staring outside to the way the sun left shadows on the tree. It was hypnotizing, but so were Isak’s eyes. He felt Isak’s gaze quite a few times, like that day at school. He wondered if it meant anything. He had never before felt it when anyone stared at him, but maybe it was because he was so used at watching Isak. Or maybe this was another sign from the universe.

“Do you play guitar though?” Isak asked then, pointing over his shoulder to the guitars on the wall. “Uhh,” Even cocked an eyebrow, “they’re up on the wall for a reason,” he laughed. Isak looked at him sheepishly and Even took another hit, “no I can play a little, I like to sometimes, but not that well. I like them though.”

Isak nodded and smiled too before he closed his eyes for a moment and Even asked, “do you play then?” Isak shook his head, his eyes still closed, and then he opened them again, “no. Jonas does though. We sometimes jam together, where he plays and we sing.” Even hummed thoughtfully, “ah.”

Even pushed his hips up, getting his phone out of his pocket and looking up a Nas song to play, “you should learn this so we can jam too.” He played ‘the message’ and they talked some more, until three songs were over and Isak smiled, “I like it. It’s dope,” and Even raised an eyebrow and chuckled, “dope? Yeah?”

Isak nodded as he tried to blow out smoke in circles, failing miserably, “yeah.” Even smiled lovingly, sure that if Isak would look at him now he’d just _know._ “I'll take you to a Nas concert if he ever comes to Oslo,” He said and Isak’s gaze shifted to lock with his. “Alright, if you pay…” He replied, the corners of his mouth quirking up slightly. “Cool,” Even agreed, picking up his phone again.

"Do you want to stay over for dinner?" Even asked, realising what time it was. He felt hungry and was trying to stop his stomach from making sounds. "We could try cooking something that we can share with the kosegruppa. That way we'd at least be doing our duties of spreading love," Even snickered at the suggestion and Isak cocked an eyebrow at him. 

"The only thing I'd be spreading is salmonella," Isak snorted and Even couldn't hold his laughter at Isak's serious face, making Isak laugh again too. His body hurt from all their giggling, their high had made everything ten times funnier. "For fuck's sake, I don't know how to cook," Isak cackled and Even leaned over, a hand on Isak's leg, "me neither."

They let their laughter die and Even stretched his limbs as he jumped up, "we can do something easy though. Eggs? Or... a cheese toastie. Everyone can make a cheese toastie." Isak jumped up too, holding up his hands in defence, "you're overestimating me, Even."

His name sounded so sweet coming from Isak's lips and it made him want to lean in and steal a kiss. If only he could. Instead he tugged on Isak's sleeve to drag him along to the kitchen, "fine, I'll do the cooking. You're still helping though. I’ll find a way," he warned. 

He hadn't expected to feel so at ease with Isak around. The air was so light and somehow talking to Isak just took away the nerves. They had plenty of things in common, they could make each other laugh, and most importantly there was flirting. Nothing too big, just these tiny things. Like catching each other staring and making plans together. _“I'll take you to a Nas concert if he ever comes to Oslo”, “Alright, if you pay…”_. 

He watched Isak sit himself down on the counter like he felt so at home here and Even knew he was lost. Indefinitely and irrevocably his heart belonged to Isak now. For however long he'd want it, Even would be his. 

And as they worked on what could only be described as the worst and most awfully spiced cheese toastie ever created, Even felt more at ease than he had done since the start of the school year, maybe even longer than that. Isak made it so easy to forget the outside world and apparently Isak forgot too, because although Even could hear the endless beeping of Isak's phone, he didn't get it out until he looked really annoyed with it. And Even knew how tied Isak was to his phone usually.

He put on every spice he could find, letting Isak judge them first so he did his part in helping, and then he shoved them in the oven and washed his hands. Isak put away his phone again and took his time to look around the kitchen. "Are your parents at work?" He asked and Even hummed, "dad is. I don't know where my mom is right now. Maybe doing groceries or out with a friend. I don't always listen when they tell me what shit they have planned," he smiled. Isak chuckled, "yeah, I feel you. Like, great you're going to aunt Astrid, why the hell do I need to know?" 

Even leaned against the counter and sipped from his beer, "exactly." They were silent for a while and Even decided to put down his beer and check up on their food, kneeling so he could see inside the oven, "do you think this will be edible at all?" He asked then, staring at the way the cheese was melting.

Isak jumped down from the counter and bent down next to him, staring into the oven with him, "of course it's edible. I do however think that we should only serve this to the kosegruppa if we want them all to have food poisoning," Isak couldn't hold his snickering and he started cracking-up again halfway into his sentence. 

Even bumped his shoulder in reply, making Isak lose his balance and he fell back on the ground, pulling Even with him as his arm was the only thing Isak could grab onto. They lay there sprawled on the ground, unable to stop their laughter and each time one of them tried to get up, the other would pull them back down again. Until the oven pinged, telling them their toasties were done. Even sat up and Isak didn't pull him down again, "they're done," he stated the obvious. 

Isak crawled up too and pulled himself up with help from the chair, which looked hilarious, but Even managed to hold down his giggles. He opened the oven and was clear-headed enough to use an oven glove to get their toasties out. As he put them on plates he heard Isak say, "you know what's missing?" 

Even looked up at him, questioning him with his eyes because Isak wasn't answering. Isak walked around Even and opened his fridge, his eyes scanning the shelves for whatever it was he was looking for and then his arm went in and retrieved a bottle. He held it the way a showgirl would hold a prize and he used a sultry voice as he presented it, "the sauce." 

Even bit on his lower lip to stop his face-splitting grin and raised his eyebrows, which only made Isak go on. "The sauce is the most important part of the cheese toastie, without it the spices will be too dry to swallow. It's essential." 

Even nodded and took the bottle from Isak, "alright. What is the right amount of sauce to compensate for the dryness of the spices, then?" Isak stood next to him, almost leaning on him, "you just sprinkle it. Just move the bottle from the left to the right so you draw lines, you know?" 

Even did as Isak asked until the boy said, "stop. Perfect." He put down the bottle of sauce and Isak took their beers, "you carry the plates, you made them after all." He followed Isak back to his room and as they sat down he felt a little calmer again, like his head had cleared a little.

“Alright, I swear if I get food poisoning…” He told Isak as he picked up one toastie. It looked fucking disgusting and Even was sure it would be bad. Isak held his toastie inches from his face and was inspecting it up close, “it sure looks like something that would give you food poisoning.” Even hummed, “well, there’s only one way to find out. Let’s go together. On three?” he asked and Isak gave a nod so Even started counting, “one… two… three.”

They took the first bite at the same time and Even only had to chew a few times to taste how gross it was. He squeezed his eyes together and looked at Isak, who was still trying to decide what he thought of it, “there’s something not quite right with it.”

Isak shook his head, looking almost angry as he stared at the floor, “It’s absolutely terrible.” The way he said it made Even snort dryly. He laughed as he swallowed the first bite, “it’s so bad, it’s kind of good.” Isak was quick to reply, seeming to have lost the rush of his high just as quickly as Even had after that first bite, “no, it was so bad it got even worse.”

Even watched Isak scratch his head, obviously having a difficult time swallowing it. Even huffed, “excuse me. You were the one who wanted to put on all those spices.” He looked at Isak’s face as he lifted his beer to swallow it down with a sip. “It’s really important to have a lot of cardamom,” Isak said, as if he had suddenly gained a lot of knowledge about spices. As if he hadn’t claimed he couldn’t cook at all.

Even watched Isak bring back the toastie to his mouth and he couldn’t believe Isak was actually going to take another bite. He hummed, “that’s the trick?” and Isak sang the word, his mouth full, “cardamom.” Even’s smile could be heard in his voice, “for it to taste good?” Isak nodded as he chewed and they grinned at each other playfully.

Isak was staring at his beer when he asked, “have you heard rumours about my rapping?” Even raised his eyebrows and looked at his toastie as he admitted, “actually, I have.” The fact that Isak was talking about this while Even had heard he only rapped when he was drunk, or high apparently, made him excited.

“Give me a beat,” Isak told him and Even thought of how bad he was at that. He felt nervous instantly, but hey, he wasn’t the one who was about to start rapping, “okay, fine.” He pushed back his hood and touched his neck, trying to find the courage while Isak cleared his throat.

And then Isak pulled his obvious cool guy face and said in a fake voice, “E-box give me the beat.” And so Even did, because he had lost his heart to this boy. There was no going back. And so he would embarrass himself if that meant Isak would smile at him with three dimples. He’d even settle for two.

Isak bobbed his head to the beat and started making sounds you’d hear at the start of a hip hop track, but then he wasn’t saying anything else and Even saw his face and he couldn’t keep going anymore. He almost fell over as he snickered quietly but Isak clapped his hands and almost shouted, “Come on! Get it together!” He was smiling brightly though and Even couldn’t stop laughing.


	25. Fredag 19:50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a good test though. The way Isak would respond to this would give him a good idea of how much he cared about the fact that Even was dating someone. He broke apart when he felt he had done enough and he turned back to Isak to see he looked quite… sad? Was it the text or was it the kiss? There was no telling now.  
> \---  
> Or, part 3 of the Cheese Toastie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO the last part of the Cheese Toastie scene. Tomorrow will feature part 1 out of 2 of the Pool scene from Even's POV.
> 
> I want to take the time here to say something about this fic:  
> \- My scenes are only MY interpretation of the scene. It's what I think happened, not what actually happened and not what you should believe happened!!!! -  
> I can't stress this enough. I get lots of requests of scenes I didn't feel like writing at first, because what happened is unclear and I know that way there will be too many opinions. For example the shower scene. That's why I asked for your opinion and used that for writing. I know you may not always be pleased with the outcome of the scene, but I'm writing for a larger audience and mostly for myself, so.  
> I know I'm not Norwegian either and there might be mistakes in cultural things, but it is what it is. So, just saying!
> 
> Anyway, here you go!

And then the doorbell rang and Even broke out of it instantly. He had completely forgotten the time while he was with Isak. He had asked his friends over for a pre-game, expecting to be alone again. But now he had Isak, and he had actually forgotten, “oh, f- what time is it?”

Isak got out his phone and looked at his screen, “it’s ten to eight.” They were early too. He sighed softly and tried to get up, “I invited some friends to a pre-game,” he explained, “but you’re welcome to stay. I have a lot of beer.” He wanted Isak to stay, he didn’t want his friends to be here. “Yeah,” Isak replied, but he didn’t sound that enthusiastic.

Even went to open the door, welcoming his three best friends in, “hey.” Sonja quickly pecked his lips as she walked in first, making room for the others. “Fuck. I’d almost forgotten, but… it’s really nice that you showed up,” He told them as they took off their coats. “What are the plans for tonight?” He asked then and Sonja started talking about how they could get access to a great party for college students. “There’s a list.” “I have the list, I’m responsible for the list.”

Even watched Sonja step up to Isak first, “so hi.” Even turned to his friends though, “you guys introduce yourselves.” Elise walked up first, actually shaking Isak’s hand, “hi! Elise.” “Isak,” Isak replied and Elise stepped aside again, “pleasure.” Isak shook Eskil’s hand too, “Isak.”

His friends didn’t seem to mind that Isak was there, which was good. He hoped they’d get along, although that would cause problems with Sonja sooner or later. He decided to do that introduction himself, so he could keep a careful eye on Isak’s face. “And this is Sonja, my girlfriend.”

Sonja smiled and shook his hand, “Sonja, pleasure.” Isak took just a beat too long before he replied, “Isak.” He wanted to keep his eyes on Isak, but Sonja demanded his attention, “Your girlfriend has become seller of the month,” she said as he fixed his hoodie.

The way she talked about herself in third person was strange to him, the way she was being sweet too. Sonja was usually very chill and relaxed, not that into his space, but now she was. Even smiled, “are you for real?” She nodded, “yeah.”

Even was very aware of Isak standing close to them, watching them. He couldn’t hold back in his role as a boyfriend. Sonja would definitely notice and she would ask questions later. The last thing he wanted was her whining about not getting attention. “What?!” He faked his surprise, not really caring about the whole seller of the month thing, but that’s what good boyfriends did. And maybe he tried to get Isak jealous with it, just a little.

“Don’t overreact though,” Sonja said, frowning slightly at his behaviour. Usually he wouldn’t be that interested in her work, she knew that even though Isak didn’t. Even complimented her, “You’re so talented.” Sonja stayed modest though, she only smiled and shrugged one shoulder, “yeah. Yeah, it’s great. So I get extra…”

“Let me be a little proud though,” He gave as a reason for the way he was acting. She stared at him, slight confusion clouding her face, “yeah… you can be proud. I got a wine from Trond. He’s always so angry and grumpy, but…” Even remembered that name, “your flirty boss?” Sonja shrugged again, “he flirted a little, but that’s okay.”

Even didn’t even let her finish, he could tell Isak was watching and so he leaned in and kissed her. “Is that why you got the wine?” he asked after he pulled back, not wanting to overdo it. He tried to look at Isak from the corner of his eyes, but he couldn’t see enough to tell what Isak was feeling. Sonja was staring at him intently though and she pulled him back in, kissing him more passionately than before.

He could hear Isak get a text, but he tried not to think of him. He had to keep up appearances with Sonja. He was sure she was wary of this all, especially because he hadn’t given her that much attention lately. He would just have to fix things with Isak later.

It was a good test though. The way Isak would respond to this would give him a good idea of how much he cared about the fact that Even was dating someone. He broke apart when he felt he had done enough and he turned back to Isak to see he looked quite… sad? Was it the text or was it the kiss? There was no telling now.

Behind him Sonja cleared her throat. "Even, help me get drinks?" She suggested as she took his hand. "Sure?" He answered with a frown and he turned to Isak, "want another beer?" He asked. Isak quietly shook his head and looked at the floor again while Sonja pulled him with her. He could hear his friends try to involve Isak in their conversation though, "so how do you know Even?" But he couldn't hear him answer.

His girlfriend closed the kitchen door behind them and stared at him, "what's this? Who is this Isak?" He frowned at her, "what? Why are you making a big deal out of this? He's a friend from school, we're in the same revue group." 

Sonja looked at him as if he had grown a second head, "revue group? What the hell Even, did you not learn anything from last year? You can't let people depend on you and then ditch them when things get bad. That's why you never invite friends over. Well, friends that don’t know already. Once they know where you live they can always come check up on you."

Even sighed, so this was about his mental health again, of course. She would never stop playing his mom. "Can you please just be chill? I bumped into him on my way home and he asked me to buy beer for him, but I forgot my ID," he explained, but this only made her narrow her eyes more. Something about Isak had made her suspicious.

Fuck, right now he absolutely didn't like how well she knew him. "Even," Her voice was clear and telling him not to fuck with her, "you _always_ carry your ID just in case something happens. Why are you lying?" 

Even didn't know what to tell her, because it was only half a lie, a lie he had come up with. If he told her it had been part of a bigger plan he would be fucked. He huffed and opened the fridge, getting out more beer. "Is this-," he heard Sonja start, "does this have anything to do with the fact that you also like guys?" 

Even closed the fridge and set the drinks on the counter, next to the wine Sonja had brought, before he turned to face his girlfriend, "not just guys, Sonja. I like whoever I like no matter their gender." It was neither a confession nor denial. Sonja wouldn't take it though, Even already knew that, "well, do you like him?" 

Even didn't know whether to be honest or not, but with every passing second Sonja's face turned more and more into an expression he didn't want to see, so he settled for, "no, no of course not. I’m dating you, right?" 

She didn't move, just stared at him for a while, and then she stepped closer to him, picked up the bottle of wine and whispered, "you are not seeing him again, you understand? Think about if it is wise in your situation to fuck things up between us? Will he really understand you the way I do? I doubt it." 

And she swerved, angry but beautiful, and left the kitchen without another glance at him. Even admired her for the way she stood up for herself, but it also annoyed him to no end that she kept linking everything in his life to his disorder. As if he was never fine, as if he was defined by his disorder. She kept reminding him when at times all he wanted was to forget. 

Still he couldn't really blame her right now. He had first-hand experience when it came to jealousy and knew how much of a bitch it could make you. He had wanted to kill Emma once he realised she had been flirting with Isak, he had been that annoyed with her. 

He picked up the cans of beer that were still on the counter and returned to his room. Sonja was smiling again, talking to Elise, but Even didn't look for her. Instead he looked for Isak, who was no longer hanging with his friends. He was in the corner, rummaging through his bag a little and when he spotted Even he picked up his coat and put it on. Oh.

"Why are you leaving? You can just stay you know, they won't mind," Even said quickly as he followed Isak as he walked to the front door, wanting to stop him. Isak stopped at the door and turned back to finally face him. 

"Uh, I forgot we're meeting up with Emma and her friends. They're probably wondering where I am right now," Isak looked away from Even's face and shrugged, "thank you though. Maybe some other time," he added, but Even could tell he was only being polite. 

He frowned a little, trying to understand what had happened that Isak's mood had shifted so much? Was he sad that they got interrupted? Was that just it or did Sonja's presence have anything to do with that? Had she said something to him after she had left the kitchen, before Even had returned? Or had he really managed to make Isak jealous? No, things couldn't be _that_ far yet that Isak felt so strongly for him. It had only been some innocent flirting, nothing earth-shattering had happened yet. 

"Are you sure? I'd love for you to stay," Even admitted and Isak's eyes flitted up just for a second. "Yeah, I- I'll see you at school though. Thanks for dinner and stuff," Isak nodded to himself, looking too frantic, and Even cocked his head to the side in wonder. Which of those reasons was it?

"Do you want to take some beer?" He asked then and Isak looked confused, "beer?" Even stuck his hands inside his pockets and rolled back and forth on the balls of his feet, "well we never got around to buying any." "Oh," Isak sounded emotionless and he pulled a face as he held up his phone, "uh, no that's okay. Jonas already got some." 

"Okay," Even said, realising that he really couldn't keep Isak there. "I had fun," He confessed, wanting Isak to know he wasn't trading him for better company. Isak still didn't look at him though. "Yeah. Yeah, me too," He mumbled as he hoisted his schoolbag over his shoulder, "alright, I'm going now. Uhm, have a great night?" It came out as a question and Even smiled, "you too." 

He held the door after Isak had opened it, leaning into his personal space once more before Isak stepped outside. He turned around again for a moment, opening his mouth, but apparently thought better of it and just started walking away. Even missed him already. So much.


	26. Fredag 21:12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A swim?” Isak called from behind him, but Even kept walking, only turned his upper body, “yeah.” As if it was the most normal thing in the world to go for a swim in somebody’s house. He could hear Isak drop the bike and he smiled. Of course he’d follow.  
> \---  
> Or, part 1 of the pool scene from Even's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pool scene part 1!!!  
> Hope you all enjoy it again. Thank you for the continuous support <333  
> Can't believe I reached 1500 kudos yesterday... 
> 
> ALT ER LOVE

While Emma and Sonja talked about school, a subject Even honestly couldn’t care less about on a Friday night, his attention was on Isak. Of course, where else would it be? Isak was doing all he could to look anywhere but at Even though, which he didn’t understand. A week earlier they had almost kissed, in the same apartment, and Even had been so sure he had him.

Now Isak was trying to fight it. Why? Because Sonja and Emma were there? Screw them, Even would kiss him right there if he felt like he was allowed to. But Isak was giving him mixed signals and he didn’t know what to do with them.

Next to him Sonja was complaining about missing school life and he took his beer to take another sip. Isak stared at the table. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. They were supposed to be like Romeo and Juliet; that love at first sight. It was what he had felt when he first saw Isak and well, he had been so sure that when Isak first saw him that day Vilde had asked about kosegruppa, he had felt the same. Even felt like he had gotten his own Romeo and Juliet love, but things weren’t going according to plan.

Romeo and Juliet had first kissed the same night they met, they had had an almost kiss and then had moved on straight into actual kissing. And a lot of it. Him and Isak, it had taken two weeks since their first conversation to get to an almost kiss. It just wasn’t acceptable.

It had made him grumpy, he knew that because Sonja had gotten particularly bossy lately. Since the day at his place, where they made those godawful cheese toasties, he knew he hadn’t been hallucinating that first kosegruppa meeting. Isak was into him, but he wasn’t as easy to catch as he should be.

Even didn’t really understand. When Romeo fell for Juliet he had a different lover too. Romeo had Rosaline, but she became insignificant the second he saw Juliet. Sonja had become insignificant the second he had seen Isak.

It was hard to explain to Isak why Sonja was still by his side. Maybe that was the whole reason that made Isak avoid him again. He had tried explaining how he felt they were drifting apart the week before and had realised only later that his whole story about Sonja’s aluminium leg had subconsciously meant a lot more. The thought of dumping Sonja felt like losing a leg. She had been his metaphorical crutch to lean on. His aluminium leg.

She had been there through multiple manic episodes and he had gotten so used to having her there when things got bad that the thought of cutting her out scared him. Because who would he lean on when he wouldn’t be able to go on? Was Isak willing to take on that role?

But this feeling, this love inside of him, felt too consuming to ignore. It was unlike anything he felt before for anyone. This beautiful boy with curly hair, gorgeous eyes and lips begging to be kissed. He couldn’t ignore it. Isak was his love at first sight and maybe they’d burn out as quickly as Romeo and Juliet, but he’d forever regret it if he wouldn’t give it a shot.

There was only one way to really get Isak’s attention and that was by staring. Staring without looking away at all. Staring while leaning over, getting his beer and drinking it. Staring until he would feel his gaze and finally fucking look back.

Isak actually turned his head the other way, which confirmed that he could feel Even’s eyes on him but just refused to acknowledge him. He wouldn’t be able to keep this up forever though. There had to be a breaking point.

Isak’s gaze turned to Emma, then to Sonja, and Even was waiting, begging for him to look at him, but his eyes moved down instead, as if Even wasn’t even sitting there. And that was just rude of him. That’s not how you treat your love at first sight.

Even let it go, stopped staring intently. Fine, then he’d just have to find some other way to make him realise. He closed his eyes as he downed more beer. At what point did Romeo and Juliet express their love? When did they admit their feelings first?

The pool. The pool, that’s where they decided. That’s where they kissed and loved and vowed to marry. If their love was real, Romeo had to send someone the next day to tell her he would wed her. The pool was theirs. Even needed his own fucking pool moment.

How could he get their own pool moment? But even if he got them a pool moment, he couldn’t predict Isak’s reactions. Maybe he had overestimated Isak’s feelings, but there had been so many hints, right? He had most definitely almost kissed him back. Was he going insane, seeing things that weren’t there? That couldn’t be true right? That would suck.

Sonja and Emma were laughing, talking about their age difference. Maybe that was it, maybe Isak had issues with Even being a third year student. No, that was weird, that couldn’t be it, could it?

“Hmm,” He heard Isak hum and then speak up, talking to Sonja, “are you-, are you one year older than Even?” Even looked up, finally seeing Isak looking at him. Isak didn’t know? Isak thought he was younger than he really was? “No, I’m 97 as well.”

Isak blinked, looked away, “oh.” Even thought of something funny to say, to joke now he had Isak’s attention, but Sonja piped in, “can you please take it easy on the beer?” she asked. He knew she was only looking out for him, but she was doing it again. She was being controlling.

He set down his beer, feeling more annoyed than usual because there were others present. “Can you stop babysitting me?” He tried to keep his voice calm, but he was sure the annoyance could be heard. He looked at Sonja, raising his eyebrows, “I mean it. Stop monitoring me.”

Sonja’s irritation, her frustration, could be seen on her face. She was only trying to help him, he knew that, but her best intentions often went too far. She pushed herself up, “where is the bathroom?” He could hear anger in her voice.

Isak stuttered, watching her go, “into the hall and to the right.” Even picked up his beer though, taking a deep breath to calm himself down again. He was so tired of this all. They kept fighting over these little things. He told her over and over again that he didn’t want her to tell him what to do all the time. He had to discover his own limits. He had to be able to do this by himself, especially if he wanted to break up with her soon. Of course he didn’t tell her that last part.

He watched Emma get up and follow Sonja down the hall and Even was finally alone with Isak. They were finally alone, but he didn’t feel as elated as he had hoped to, with Sonja’s words still on his mind.

And then Isak was making an effort to help him forget, to take away the awkwardness maybe, “I- heard that a lot of people will be going to the party.” But Even didn’t care about the stupid Halloween party. He cared about Isak and their pool moment. He thought about how all he wanted was to get out of there and so he asked, “what time is it?”

“Hm?” Isak asked and when Even glanced up he finally saw Isak looking at him. He was watching him and didn’t look away the moment Even looked back. “What time is it?” he repeated.

“21:21” Isak said while he looked at his phone. And if Even ever needed a sign to do this, this was it. 21:21, what were the odds? “For real?” He asked, raising his eyebrows at Isak and Isak actually checked his phone again. “Yeah?” Isak asked, sounding confused, “what about it?”

And Even realised that this was it. This was their time to escape to come together. Like Romeo had jumped out of the car, leaving his friends behind, and Juliet retreating to her room alone. This was it, this was what they needed.

So Even sat up, “let’s get out of here.” He finished his beer as Isak frowned at him, “uh, where to?” And Even could tell him, could explain the whole theory he had just figured out, but Isak wouldn’t understand and they didn’t have time, so Even just replied with, “anywhere.”

He stood up, “hurry,” he told Isak, knowing they had to escape before the girls returned or else his plan would fail again. He looked at Isak from the doorframe, smiled at him, and Isak followed.

They took Isak’s bike, Even left his for Sonja to take. He wasn’t _that_ much of an asshole. He told Isak to get on the back and Isak did without asking any questions, like he would follow him anywhere.

Just like that day in Even’s room things were magical once they were alone. Even had left his phone at Isak’s, knowing the girls would be calling once they returned, and maybe also giving himself a reason to come back to Isak’s place.

Isak was heavy on the back of the bike, but Even wouldn’t give up. They laughed whenever Isak almost fell off, having to reposition himself, and Even knew he had made the right choice to take him out. Now all he needed was a place to go where they could have their own pool moment. What would be quiet and perfect enough for that?

“Where are you taking me? Are we going anywhere at all?” Isak asked from the back of the bike and Even laughed, trying to talk over his fake beard, “yes we are, and you will see when we get there, mister impatient.” He would figure it out, no need to tell Isak he didn’t know yet. Isak threw his head back, making a shocked sound, like he couldn’t believe Even had called him that, “I’m mister impatient?”

He seemed to be thinking of a throwback, because he took a few seconds before he added, “well then you’re mister I-kidnap-people-for-no-reason-and-don’t-tell-them-anything. Like, for all I know you’re a serial killer and have been planning to murder me for weeks now.”

Even laughed at that, “oh, yes, I’ve been planning.” Just not a murder. He stood up on the pedals and pushed harder, feeling his quads hurt already. He would feel this in the morning, but he didn’t mind at all. It would be worth it.

He stopped when they got to the house. It was just like he remembered. He should have realised he knew a freaking pool. They could have their own pool moment in an actual pool. There was a light on at the door, which was inconvenient, but he knew the pool was in the basement and if they weren’t too loud no one would hear. He had a purpose, he was sure his old friend would understand.

Now he had to play it cool, like there was nothing wrong with breaking and entering. “I feel like going for a swim, don’t you?” He asked as he got off the bike and he just left Isak there, sitting on the back. He knew how well that worked. Leave Isak after suggesting something that he could refuse, and he’d always follow.

“A swim?” Isak called from behind him, but Even kept walking, only turned his upper body, “yeah.” As if it was the most normal thing in the world to go for a swim in somebody’s house. He could hear Isak drop the bike and he smiled. Of course he’d follow.


	27. Fredag 21:21 (post chapter 26)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak swam up to him this time and Even stayed very still until Isak’s lips touched his. His heart felt like it exploded in his chest, like this wasn’t just a kiss. And it really wasn’t. This was Isak giving in to him, this was their marriage proposal, their confessing moment. He hadn’t been wrong.  
> \---  
> Or, part 2 of the pool scene from Even's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hi hello. I've been writing more smut, but it's gotten so long I want to keep those parts for a special occasion.  
> Aka the 2000 kudos. So, the faster I get there, the faster I'll post. If you read this and haven't left kudos... what are you waiting for???
> 
> Also, still so much love for you all, especially the ones who leave comments regularly. I SEE YOU and I love you <333

Even knew he needed to lie to get Isak to go in with him, but he had it covered. He’d take the fall if things would go wrong. He tried to get the window to open, but he had nothing on him that could really help.

“who lives here?” Isak asked when he reached him and Even looked up briefly, but didn’t look at him when he replied, “my aunt.” He couldn’t risk Isak calling him out on his lie. “And…” Isak went on, “she’s okay with us being here?”

Even laughed, if only Isak knew, “of course. Don’t worry,” he leaned over, trying to get the lock to open. Isak wouldn’t let it go though, “but… where’s your aunt?” he asked, sounding suspicious. “She’s on vacation,” he lied, looking up at Isak now to try and show him with his expression that he really shouldn’t worry. Even got it from here.

Isak smiled a little, “okay. Why don’t you have a key then?” he laughed it off, like he wasn’t actually worried Even was lying. Maybe he knew but didn’t care enough to call him out on it. Even didn’t have a good excuse to his question anyway, so he just repeated, “because she’s on vacation.”

Isak shrugged his shoulders slightly, “yeah, that’s the answer to everything,” and Even really needed him to stop worrying. “Relax! Don’t worry,” He laughed, feeling the lock give. The window was open, “there we go.”

He stood on the windowsill, staring up at Isak, “you’re in?” he asked before crawling inside. He jumped down to the side of the pool and stared at the water. It was perfect, this would be absolutely perfect. He bent down while Isak crawled in too and he touched the water, it was warm. There were definitely people home.

“Yeah, okay,” Isak hummed and he toed off his shoes. Even undid the tie around his hips, letting the dress fall loose, and Isak looked at the water in doubt. “Why are you being so sceptical?” He asked with a laugh, feeling confident they would have enough time.

Even tore off the wig, but Isak still stood there, “I’m not sceptical, but it’s a little weird that we... are going to…” Even took off the beard too and looked at Isak. He had to push him a little, “what’s up? Are you afraid to go swimming or what?”

Isak looked up, giving him an unbelieving face, “afraid to go swimming?!” he asked incredulously. Even had him, “are you afraid of water?” Isak stopped with a hand in his red overlay “afraid of water?!” He sounded even more surprised and Even laughed, “afraid of water, yeah.”

“Wow,” Isak replied and Even knew he had him, that was all it took. “But I just, I mean…” Isak went on as he finally started taking things off. His golden ivy crown, his roman outside getting stripped down, “like it’s not my aunt’s house.”

He watched the hesitant movements as Isak put everything away carefully. His sentence before suddenly made a bit more sense. What was weird to Isak didn’t necessarily have to be the breaking and entering. No, he was making a big deal of Even’s joke about how he can’t swim, but there was an underlying awkwardness there. Isak didn’t know how far Even would undress himself. That was alright, Romeo and Juliet had been dressed too.

Isak’s hair looked a little messy now and Even decided to tease him more, trying to keep it light and show Isak that he wasn’t taking off any more clothes, “oh,” he started, “so it’s just that you’re a little scared of fucking up the hairdo.” He stared at Isak, giving him this intent look that should show it all already.

Isak looked up with a face that screamed he was insulted and he pointed at himself, “you think I care about my hairdo?” Even couldn’t help but laugh again, because he knew Isak did care. “What else am I to believe?” He watched as Isak looked at him, like he was thinking about something. “It does look a bit like it.”

“Does it look like I care about my hair?” Isak asked again and Even could tell he was almost there. “Well, not like right now, but normally,” Even answered, and that was true. That was what Even knew about Isak thanks to his quiet observations.

Isak placed his hand on the wall for only a moment and then he turned back to Even. Even could see it on his face, he knew it was coming and he tried to dive when Isak pushed at him. His hand reached back, briefly tugging on Isak’s shirt, but he couldn’t grab it enough to pull Isak with him. “Fuck.” Isak fell still with him, both of them splashing into the water.

Even swam away, trying to stay under as long as possible before he swam back to him, coming up right in front of Isak and he could have done it then. He could have kissed him, but that would have felt too rushed.

He smiled at him though, and for the first time that night Isak didn’t look away. HHHhe smiled back. Even cocked an eyebrow, “did you think I’d died?” His mind went back to Romeo and Juliet, their ending, but he pushed it aside. They would never be exactly like Romeo and Juliet.

Isak laughed as he kept his head above water, obviously joking when he answered him, “yeah, I was so scared.” Even swam away a little, watching Isak with his hair wet and all over the place, like a drowning puppy. A cute one.

“You suck at holding your breath,” Isak insulted him and Even raised his eyebrows, “ _I_ suck?!” Isak laughed and Even couldn’t really see but he imagined the three dimples in his cheek. “Yeah,” Isak chuckled. “Fuck you,” Even kicked his legs under water, “you try it then.”

Isak looked perplexed, “you challenge me?! You shouldn’t,” he sounded so cocky, “I’m the fucking champion at holding my breath.” Even had to see before he would believe him. “Show me,” He dared him, “show me.”

“Okay, fine,” Isak was quick to accept the challenge and he brought up a hand to hold his nose before he went under. Even watched him float down and he took a deep breath. This was it, this was his chance to make it their moment. And fuck, would it be romantic if this worked. And they could laugh it off if it didn’t, but it would still be their moment.

He snorted when Isak floated back up after what couldn’t have been more than five seconds. He was coughing, like he had choked on water, and Even couldn’t stop his laughter, “wow,” he raised his eyebrows, “you never cease to impress.”

Isak laughed loudly, giving a bad excuse for his failure, “I got water in my lungs.” “Yeah, right,” Even answered, and as expected it made Isak defensive again, “I swallowed water!” he yelled. Even nodded, like he really wasn’t impressed, “okay.” “Yes!” Isak argued, “I need to do it one more time.”

Even had a better plan. “Let’s do it together.” “Together?” Isak asked and Even nodded. He held up three fingers, “on three?” and Isak stated, “the last to the surface is the winner.” “Okay,” Even agreed.

“Ready,” Isak said and Even held up his fingers again, “we go together on three. No, on one.” He locked eyes with Isak and started counting down, “three, two, one…”

They both went under and Even used his hands to get himself deeper, level with Isak. His mind wasn’t exactly on winning, but still he tried to sabotage Isak. Isak looked open, trying to stay calm as he didn’t move much, and Even tried to throw him off guard by grabbing him by the throat.

Isak pushed his hand away though and he tried so hard not to move up in the water, to stay where he was without letting any oxygen escape. He looked beautiful like this, the water playing with his hair and air bubbles moving around his face. Even thought he had never looked so beautiful.

And this was it, he could feel it, the way he felt so calm and so composed but knew exactly what he wanted. This was it, this was the moment he had longed to have, and all thanks to a stupid game of holding your breath. It was unexpected, but that’s what he liked about Isak, the way they just flowed together. When they were together they clicked, they fit, and that exact thought was what led him to move in.

And Isak had this question in his eyes, but he didn’t move. He should know exactly what Even wanted. Even had made it clear seven whole days before this moment that he wanted it to happen. Still there was a frown on Isak’s face only moments before, probably thinking about what Even could possibly do now, and then it happened.

Even’s lips touched Isak’s, briefly, one single kiss.

Isak was pulling back and Even watched him as he broke the surface. Once again his mind was questioning things. Could he really be wrong about Isak’s feelings? Could it really be that he didn’t want this to happen? But the week before he had definitely- but there was no time to think.

Even pushed himself up, splashing water as he gasped for air, screaming, “Yes!” This was a game, and until he could tell what Isak was thinking it was best to play his cards that way.

“Yes what?” Isak asked, obviously referring to the kiss. “I won!” Even replied, laughing abnormally much while he tried to read Isak’s face. Isak was smiling, but he looked confused, “huh? Yes?!”

Even swam backwards a little, keeping space between them, “I won,” he repeated himself, but Isak interfered, “no.” “Are you kidding?” Even asked, seeing Isak’s face get more serious as he disagreed, “that’s cheating.” Even pretended he didn’t know what Isak was talking about, “what is?” “Yeah, that’s cheating,” Isak said again and Even stopped laughing, “you think there are any rules here?” “Uh, yeah.”

With every second that passed though, he felt more at ease, because Isak wasn’t screaming at him. He wasn’t mad, wasn’t stomping out because of the kiss. Which could only mean that Even hadn’t been wrong about this. Isak was just in denial. Maybe he was nervous, as nervous as Even had been before. Or maybe he was scared, not ready to deal with his feelings for Even. But he hadn’t been wrong, and that was a victory. That was a damn confession.

“Like, what are you even thinking?” Even asked him and they swam in a circle, following each other’s movements until they had switched places. Isak stuttered twice before he was able to bring out words, “I mean, that’s just cheating, that’s just… that’s not allowed.” He was definitely nervous or scared. Definitely. “I won’t accept losing because of something like that!”

Even gladly obliged and he wouldn’t screw with Isak now, not unless Isak gave him a reason to. “Okay, let’s try it again then,” He agreed and Isak nodded. They swam closer again and counted down the same way as before, both taking a big gulp before going under again.

He kept his eyes on Isak’s face, they were so close still, and he wanted to tell him not to be nervous and not to be scared. They’d figure everything out together, there was no rush at all. He just needed to know that Isak felt the same, that he wasn’t crazy. He had tried twice now without any result, he begged Isak to let him know a yes or no.

Yes.

Isak swam up to him this time and Even stayed very still until Isak’s lips touched his. His heart felt like it exploded in his chest, like this wasn’t just a kiss. And it really wasn’t. This was Isak giving in to him, this was their marriage proposal, their confessing moment. He hadn’t been wrong.

It was better than the single kiss, because although Isak pulled away, he didn’t stay away. He kissed Even again, but they were both running out of air now, floating to the top, and Even brought up his hands to Isak’s face to keep them locked as they emerged from the water.

Isak’s hands were on his arms and Even loved him, he loved him instantly. Their kisses turned more desperate, more desperate than their lungs were for air. They had waited so long, weeks of endless longing, months for Even. They all made up for this moment, their lips locked in a kiss so sweet Even felt like he was drowning.

And Isak was just as desperate, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, taking a moment to look at Even as if to check if this was real and Even could only smile. It was, this was all really happening. Even kissed him again, unable to stop now he finally got to. He never wanted to let go, he wanted to stay, press Isak against the side of the pool and kiss him until his lips went numb.

Isak decided otherwise. Or well, in the end it wasn’t really Isak who did, but he was the one to pull away. Even was about to ask why he stopped, how he had managed to stop _that,_ when he saw what Isak was looking at.

His friend’s little sister. She stood there at the side of the pool, just watching them for seconds before she opened her annoying mouth and screamed, “mama!” and Even looked at Isak, “Fuck, fuck,” He started and he turned around, swimming to the other side. Isak cursed too, obviously following him as fast as he could.

“No, what the hell?!” He screamed, realising quickly that Even had actually lied. Even got out first, not bothering to answer at first. “Who the fuck is she?” Isak asked as he pushed himself up too. “Uh, it’s not my aunt’s house,” He said quickly as he started to grab their stuff and throw it out of the window.

“So who lives here then?” Isak demanded to know. Now really wasn’t the fucking time to talk though. He climbed up into the windowsill while he replied, “someone I went to elementary school with.” He climbed out and thankfully Isak’s questions stopped then.

Even put on his shoes in a rush, not bothering to really get them on, and then leaned down to help Isak out when he saw he was struggling. He would have commented that he looked cute, flailing as he tried to get himself out, but this wasn’t the right moment for that.

Isak grabbed his stuff and Even the rest and together they sprinted down the lawn, “go, go, go,” Even yelled. Isak was right behind him. They almost got caught and he knew Isak was probably pissed at him right now, but it was all worth it. If he really focused he could still feel Isak’s lips against his.


	28. Lørdag 01:19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you think he's in love with you? He's not."  
> He had been crying since that moment, his heart broken into a million little pieces. Only hours after their first time together and everything they had built up had come crashing down like a house of cards getting blown apart by a gush of wind. Like it had all been a silly daydream and now he had been brutally woken up from it to find himself in hell.  
> \---  
> Or, part 1 of Isak post Hotel Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, time for some sadness! I like this scene though, and we know that things are good in the Evak universe, so no need to linger in that sadness too much. This scene has 2 parts, by the way. I often forget to mention how many parts a scene is!  
> Also, the scene I'm keeping for the 2000 kudos is now 13.000 words (aka 5 parts). If the amount of kudos keeps growing the way it is now, the 2000 will be reached in like 5 days, so keep it going! Shamelessly encouraging you to share with other skam fans. Please I'm lonely let me promote myself lmao.
> 
> And keep adding me on tumblr, because I need skam blogs to follow!! (I'm evenogisakk)
> 
> Alt er love <3

He had done everything he possible could to get Even to safety. He had taken Even’s clothes, had searched everywhere he could think of. Every McDonalds in the area, but no Even. He had even called Sonja when he knew Even didn’t like him talking to her. Anything, everything for Even. And as a thank you, Sonja came to destroy him.

She had been shouting at him for a minute now, as if Isak was to blame for this. Like it was Isak’s fault that Even had gone out into the streets without wearing any clothes. Because apparently Isak was supposed to have realised that Even wasn’t well. That he was manic. How could he have realised? What had he missed?

Sonja had looked at him with disgust when she asked him if he thought Even was in love with him. As if that was such a crazy thing to think. As if everything that had happened didn’t mean anything to Even. But this was Sonja, Even’s ex. Maybe she was jealous, or maybe just homophobic. He couldn’t believe how she called it a sick idea that Even had thanks to his manic episode. But then again Isak didn’t really know Even, because he hadn’t known he was manic, and Sonja had been with him for years. She knew him so much better, who was Isak to doubt her?

Maybe Sonja was right, maybe Isak was bad for Even’s mental health. And so when she asked him to stay away, maybe that was truly what was best for Even. If that was true though, then why did it feel so wrong? Isak didn’t want to stay away. He wanted to go see Even and talk to him and hold him, help him through this.

He didn’t have time to find the words to voice his thoughts, because Sonja left him there after that. To Isak her last words somehow felt like a threat. Stay away, or else… He didn’t know if it was to protect him or hurt him. It sure felt like the latter.

And it was all just too much. The worry he had felt for the past hour, the dread that Even had done something to hurt himself, and now Sonja’s words that felt like a dagger was lunged into his heart. He was bleeding inside, the pain making it hard to breathe. He tried to hold himself together, he was in public after all, but it was too much to take. He couldn’t hold it in.

He had to get out of there.

The first tear fell and Isak wiped at it hastily. He started walking, his feet rushing as he got out of there. He wanted to run and he tried to, but the feeling of not being able to breathe lingered, making him out of breath within seconds. Instead he touched the wall to keep himself balanced as he walked as fast as he could.

He stopped what felt like hours later, but it were probably only minutes. He felt dizzy, going too fast to keep himself upright. Isak's hands were trembling, his whole body shaking at the core like his heart was beating so fast it was creating earthquakes inside of him.

His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, so tired from his continuous sobbing. Sometimes it stopped for a moment so Isak could calm down just a little before it would start all over again. He was a mess, probably looking like someone who had lost his mind. Why else would he be roaming the streets at one o'clock in the morning?

He wished he could say it was the first time he had been in this situation, but that would be a lie. Oslo by night was starting to remind him of other things than fun parties. Instead the night now reminded him of loneliness and problems that felt unfixable to him.

As he kept turning corners and staggered down the streets, Sonja's words kept repeating over and over in his head, haunting him as he tried to make his way home. Walking was hard though when all he felt was the want to collapse, to fall down and never get up again.

_Do you think he's in love with you? He's not_

He had been crying since that moment, his heart broken into a million little pieces. Only hours after their first time together and everything they had built up had come crashing down like a house of cards getting blown apart by a gush of wind. Like it had all been a silly daydream and now he had been brutally woken up from it to find himself in hell.

Maybe it was a sign from above. Maybe Isak should have stayed hidden in the closet, he should have stayed focused on girls, on Emma. Maybe god was right, maybe he was an abomination that deserved to be in pain until it was time for him to pay for his sins in hell.

He wiped his eyes quickly as a few drunk guys approaching him on the sidewalk, obviously completely out of it, and he kept his head down as they passed. He didn't understand why it hurt so much to realise something was wrong with Even. His heart didn't just ache because of heartbreak, it ached because Even wasn't okay. Especially not right now. He had gone out in the middle of the night, completely naked.

_It's just a sick idea he's got right now._

Was it really? Had Isak imagined all of it? The way Even smiled at him, so full of love and happiness? So bright he put the sun to shame? Or the way he kissed him like Isak was his oxygen, like he couldn't breathe without him? Like all he wanted was to kiss him forever more? Were all their secret touches, their texts, the drawings, all lies? All of it one big awful lie? He couldn't imagine that was true. He really couldn't.

Maybe Even had seen him as the Juliet to his Romeo, his idea of love at first sight. Maybe Even had imagined this romantic love story he wanted to have with Isak as part of his mania, but his feelings, those couldn't have been played. How could anyone play love so well without feeling it? So if Sonja was right then Even only loved the idea of Isak, the idea of loving Isak, but he didn’t love Isak himself.

And that, well that fucking stung. Especially after Isak tried so hard to come to terms with his feelings, his sexuality. If only Even had let him be with Emma then he wouldn't be feeling so damm conflicted about himself now. Instead Even had led him on and Isak had poured in his heart and soul without care, without thinking of the consequences. Like he had reached for the most beautiful rose there was without looking to see if there were thorns. Isak hadn't looked and he had cut himself. 

He stopped walking and angrily smashed his hand against the wall of the building he was walking past. His hand instantly hurt and he saw the impact had left a bloody abrasion on the knuckled of his right hand. He hadn't seen the thorns.

Tiny pin drops of blood started welling up from the hurt skin of his knuckles, but the pain was nothing compared to what he felt inside his chest. The gaping black hole where his heart had been before Sonja had ripped it out with her words. Ripped it out without caring what it would do to Isak.

With fumbling hands he pulled out his phone out of his pocket. There were no missed calls or messages from anyone. Nothing from Even. Of course not.

He checked his contact list and lingered as he saw Eskild's name. Did he want to be alone or not? Did he want to go home and cry himself to sleep, losing whatever hope he had left in his body? No, he needed someone to talk to. He couldn't deal with this on his own, and Eskild had always been there to help him. From the moment he had met Eskild the guy had done everything he could to help Isak out. He so selflessly took him into his house, didn’t make a fuss when Isak couldn’t pay rent. He fed Isak and kept him safe and Isak forever owed him for that.

He opened the chat and started typing.

He leaned against the building and looked at his surroundings, checking how far away from home he was. He was still a few blocks away, but it wasn't long anymore. Five minutes maybe. He had been walking for almost twenty minutes by now, five minutes were nothing.

His phone buzzed in his bleeding hand and he opened Eskild's reply.

****  


He could go home and be alone, let it be and let Eskild have a peaceful night out, but he didn't want to. Eskild had given him advice the day before, before everything got bad, and he would surely ask questions sooner or later. Isak needed a friend who would understand. So he sent another text before he started walking again, slower this time. Eskild was out anyway, he wouldn’t be there in five minutes.

He looked up at the sky where the stars were shining like nothing was wrong. Like Isak's whole universe hadn't shifted. He closed his eyes as he walked, letting the wind dry his tears. His face felt bad, like that time he had taken a beating, but then worse.

His phone buzzed, but he ignored it for a moment to savor the moment. Soon he'd have to forgive and forget, but now he could let the pain run through his body like a disease. It spread through him like wildfire and then it extinguished again. Time and time again, to the pumping of blood through his body. He was broken, but he would be mend. Slowly, bit by bit.

When he saw Eskild's question he replied hastily before tucking his phone away again. He didn't have to read the reply that followed to know Eskild was coming home for him. That was just the way Eskild was.

****  


The last few streets were harder to walk. His feet were hurting after all the walking he had done all night, since Even disappeared from the room, and it felt like he had walked a marathon through Oslo, his heart heavy as he searched for Even. And later his heart no longer there when he made his way home. 

Walking up the stairs made him feel the same way he imagined Linn felt almost every day. He didn’t want to climb them, at all. His legs felt like they were so much heavier than they really were and he had to use his arms to help, but he got there eventually.

The front door creaked as it opened and it was completely dark inside the hallway. He didn't turn on the lights. He kicked off his shoes without untying his shoelaces and dropped his coat on the floor without bothering with it. He knew Eskild wouldn't mind tonight. 

His bedroom felt too empty and too many wonderful memories of Even filled his mind, making him unable to breathe again. Something was pressing down on his chest. He walked up to the window and threw it open, letting in fresh air, and he gasped for air. It wasn't like there really wasn't any air in the room and Isak knew that, so he let go off the windowsill and walked back to his bed, falling down on it and crawling beneath the covers fully dressed. He didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything.


	29. Lørdag 01:19 (post chapter 28)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lying on his bed with Even, smoking weed when that wasn't good for him, snuggling closer and laughing and kissing and being perfect. Falling so hard, harder with every minute that passed where they were together. Even had made him fall in love only to pretend to catch him at the bottom, but it had been an illusion. And so Isak had plummeted towards his death, and now his body was broken as it lay there without Even at his side.   
> \---  
> Or, part 2 of Isak post Hotel Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can really relate to Isak in this scene, especially today. Today can go suck a dick. Blue Monday can fuck off. Also some of you sure know how to make me fucking cry thanks to your comments. I am an emotional mess!? 
> 
> SO!! I heard that there is now a Chinese version of this fic?? But I can't seem to find it. If anyone has it please link me?????? I'd love to check it out.
> 
> And leave me more requets? I have a few on my list still, but seen as inspiration can't be forced, I need more!

He knew Eskild would find him eventually. His friend walked into the dark room until he reached Isak's bed and Isak could hear him set something down and then a lamp was turned on. "Hey," Eskild said softly, pity in his voice already although he had no idea yet what had happened. Isak felt more tears well up in his eyes. 

He turned over to Eskild, who sat back against the wall, his legs up on the bed, and brushed a hand through Isak's hair, "I brought you tea." Isak turned further, his face pressed into the pillow, and he started shaking again as he tried not to sob. It hurt so much to deal with this loss. If he had thought that he had felt heartbreak before, when Even asked for time to deal with them, well, he had been wrong. 

Eskild gave him some time to compose himself before he spoke up again, voice cutting the silence, "do you want to talk about it?" He asked Isak, giving him time to consider it. Isak nodded briefly, but he couldn't get out any words and Eskild hummed, "alright. I'll just ask yes or no questions for now, okay? You don't have to speak up."

Isak was glad that Eskild understood that although he did want to talk about it, he really couldn't without his voice breaking and more tears streaming down his face. His body was too tired to cry more. 

"Okay. After you texted me, did it happen? Did you sleep with Even?" Eskild asked. Isak thought back to the hotel room, to the love they had shared. Their love, the way Even had curled himself around Isak from behind as the music played, kissing his neck. Their bodies pressed against each other as if that was where they belonged, forever entwined together. Like magnets, like puzzle pieces, like whatever other cliché metaphor he could use. That's what he had felt when he was with Even. He nodded.

"Was that the problem? Did it go downhill after that?" Eskild asked, not asking for specifics, but only wanting to know if it was related to why Isak was curled up against him now. And Isak shook his head, because it wasn't related. Well, of course it was in a way, because it had all been a lie after all, but it wasn't what made him feel this way. No, making love to Even was a good memory, a fantastic one.

"That's good. I'm glad," Eskild said as he used his fingertips to brush away a few stray teardrops that were left on Isak's cheek, "so this isn't because of the sex. At least not for you. Was it for him?" Isak shook his head instantly, knowing that it wasn't. No matter if it felt real to Even or not, no matter if it had been love for him, he had held Isak so lovingly that Isak was sure it had nothing to do with it. Even hadn’t disliked sleeping with him.

Even's behaviour had changed after that and it had changed so fast too. It had taken quite a while for Isak to really realise that Even’s behaviour was strange and unusual, although wanting to book a suite should have been the first clue.

"That's good too. Alright then, so, this issue. Can it be fixed easily?" Eskild went on, and this was where Isak's throat closed up. He couldn't swallow and he started to panic, because he knew it probably couldn't be fixed at all. Isak had lost and there was no chance to win back what he had lost. By now Even would probably realise that Isak had been nothing but his mania, whatever that really meant, and would give up on him.

He didn't know much, hardly anything actually, about bipolar disorder, but he knew it was a serious thing. And he knew his mother's struggles. She could make up whole ideas of things that didn't exist and she would truly believe them. Isak had been one of those ideas that didn't exist but were truly believed in, but then for Even. 

He shook his head and turned over on his stomach, still feeling Eskild's hand in his hair and his friend ran it down his back as he tried to soothe him. Everything was lost. Even and Isak were lost.

_So can you please just stay away?_

The words triggered a string of memories that flashed behind his closed eyes. Lying on his bed with Even, smoking weed when that wasn't good for him, snuggling closer and laughing and kissing and being perfect. Falling so hard, harder with every minute that passed where they were together. Even had made him fall in love only to pretend to catch him at the bottom, but it had been an illusion. And so Isak had plummeted towards his death, and now his body was broken as it lay there without Even at his side. 

Isak screamed into the pillow, the sound muffled, feeling so angry and betrayed. How could someone play with someone else’s emotions so much? He wanted to hate Even for it, but maybe Even couldn't be held accountable. Maybe it was his bipolar disorder that should be held accountable. It didn’t change the outcome, though, it didn’t magically fix Isak knowing Even’s behaviour could be clarified.

Eskild hushed him quietly, rubbing his shoulder to stop him from shaking, but it was no use. "Do you love him? Is that why this hurts so much?" Eskild asked, his voice barely a whisper as if he was scared to break Isak even more with the question. But Isak's body gave up after hearing those words. He lay there motionlessly, all emotions draining away and leaving him to feel the painful hole in his chest. Had Isak loved him? That felt like the most idiotic question right now. Because of course he had. If he hadn't, he wouldn't feel like the world was ending. Still, he gave a tiny nod and Eskild sighed as he leaned over to kiss Isak's head, "I'm sorry, Isak." 

Isak stayed quiet, only breathing and blinking for a while as he lay there. His eyes felt dry and tired, his body was physically aching right now. He was so tired, but he had to tell someone. Maybe Eskild had some words to calm him down and see things from a different perspective. So he forced his voice to speak up, "he's bipolar."

Eskild looked down at him for a while and then only made an, "ah," sound before he went quiet again. Isak waited for Eskild to say something, to tell him it would all be okay, but when there came no reply he just went on, anger bubbling up again, "so it was all just a lie. He doesn't love me, it was just his mania. But I didn't know that, because of course Even didn't fucking tell me. So when he took off from the hotel completely naked, I followed him with a bunch of clothes. I knew something was wrong, of course I did, I'm not that dense, but then to find out that he is bipolar and none of it was real... It's all just for the best that I found out now, because this would have only resulted in more shit and more lies and more pain," he was being so loud now, raising his voice in anger and frustration, but he couldn't help it. "So I guess good riddance, right?" Isak laughed joylessly, blinking rapidly to keep his eyes dry.

Eskild waited for him to stop ranting and his voice was just as calm and soft as it had been before, "you don't mean that, do you?" Eskild knew the answer already, but he still asked. And Isak couldn't lie to himself. He was a bad liar. "No," He whispered with his eyes closed. 

Eskild brushed a hand through his hair again, "okay, here is my advice to you. Right now you're going to drink the cup of tea that I brought you and you’re going to sleep. You need to rest and calm down, there's no arguing that, don't even try me, Isak." Eskild knew him too well. "And then in the morning you're going to try and understand Even as much as you can. How much do you know about bipolar disorder?" He asked and Isak mumbled, "not a lot." 

"See, so you when you wake up you will start fresh and do some research, and I'll bring you another cup of tea and breakfast and you'll tell me what you found so we can come up with a plan together. I'll help you think of what to do to talk to Even, because that is step one to fixing things. Or no, wait, you definitely have to accept the fact that he is bipolar before that," Eskild hummed and Isak huffed, "and what if I don't want to fix it?" He asked. 

Eskild smiled, he almost laughed at him, "oh come on Isak, let's pretend you didn't just ask me that.” There was no point in denying things to Eskild, he would just know when Isak was talking bullshit. “Now come on, sit up."

Isak got pulled up by his arm until he started moving by himself and he sat back against the wall next to Eskild. His roommate handed him the cup of tea, which was already getting cold, "do you want me to stay until you have fallen asleep or do you want me to leave you alone?"

Isak thought about it for a moment and then he sighed as he looked at his cup, "want you to stay." And he expected Eskild to make a big deal out of this, of Isak needing his help, but he didn't. Maybe he'd tease Isak with it somewhere in the future, when things were better or easier, but right now he knew this was serious. 

He took the empty cup when Isak was done and turned off the lights after Isak had curled up on his side. There was a hand always present in his hair or on his back and Isak really appreciated having Eskild as a friend for the umpteenth time in his life. And with that, he owed Eskild once more.


	30. Torsdag 22:48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re welcome. Now, do you want to talk about why you’re sitting in a gay bar when you’re not gay, drinking to the point where you can’t even fend off the biggest creeps?” Eskild asked him. Isak’s head was pounding and he rubbed it, “I think I’m gonna throw up.”  
> \---  
> Or, part 1 of Eskild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is part 1 of a 2 piece scene about Eskild. I won't say what part 2 is about yet, but it will be Even's pov so maybe you can guess.
> 
> A new google form!! I am super curious about who my readers are. So I made a google form and added the biggest/skam countries I know. Please take a minute to fill it in? :---)  
> \------- https://goo.gl/forms/0VfUqcCxgJm7bAB93 ---------
> 
> Keep the kudos going because I am DYING to post that scene!!!!

The only bar in Oslo that would serve Isak beer was a gay bar. How fucking hilarious was that? A gay bar. He had ran away from home and the place he was hiding was a gay bar. He couldn’t stop laughing because of it and he realised the alcohol already getting to him. He hadn’t eaten for over five hours, of course it was getting to him.

Shit, though. Fuck. He didn’t want to think of home again. He had run away without thinking of where to go. Where could he go? Jonas? Eva? No, he had fucked things up with Eva. Chris? God, no, fuck, not Chris. Their sort of semi-friendship would never be enough for him to take Isak in. He didn’t want to go home, but it was probably the only place to return to. That or stay out on the streets.

His mother was so insane, his father a big mess thanks to it, and Isak in the middle. He took a sip for every memory he had of that day where they had yelled his name at him. His glass was almost empty once he had. Screw them, he was only a child, how could they expect him to save their marriage? Because Isak couldn’t. He had tried, but he knew he couldn’t, and in the end they would blame him and hate him for failing.

Someone sat down on the stool next to him, watching him before ordering a drink, and Isak tried to cover his face by looking down at his drink. He didn’t want anyone to pay any attention to him, but this wish wasn’t granted. He wanted to just yell at the guy once he opened his mouth. “Hello.”

Isak glanced at him from the corner of his eyes and then lifted his glass. Fucking hell this guy was old. He couldn’t fathom that of all guys in this gay club, the one hitting on him was old. “Leave me alone,” He groaned and balled a hand into a fist on the bar. It didn’t freaking work. This guy must have been desperate.

“So how old are you, boy?” The guy next to him asked and Isak frowned, leaning away from him a little. His tongue felt thick in his mouth, but he managed to slur the words to a point where they were clear enough to understand, “I’m not _gay._ ” The man next to him, who must have been in his forties already, didn’t budge though.

He put his hand on Isak’s leg, “then why are you here?” Isak groaned, he was starting to get annoyed, “because I want to get drunk. Leave me alone,” he started feeling dizzy and the man helped him sit up straight again, “alright, then I’ll get you another beer.”

Isak shook his head and was pushing at the man’s shoulder when they were interrupted. “There you are, I’m sorry I’m so late,” a younger guy, probably in his early twenties, sat down next to Isak. “Who’s this?” He asked, pointing at the older man on Isak’s other side. The man looked at him, cocking an eyebrow.

“I’m Erik, who are you?” The man actually introduced himself and the younger guy placed a hand on Isak’s lower back, “Eskild, his boyfriend.” Isak wanted to open his mouth and protest, say he wasn’t his boyfriend, but then somewhere in his foggy mind he realised. This Eskild wasn’t hitting on him, he was saving him.

“Sure you are,” Erik huffed, “nice one, but I saw him first. You’re young enough to hook up with someone sober.” Eskild huffed next to him and he snapped his fingers to call over the bartender, “how dare you. What are you, some fucking paedophile trying to get some underage dick? This club is classier than that.”

Isak watched as Eskild begged for the attention of the bartender and then he absolutely slayed Erik. “Excuse me, but this creep over here is trying get my drunk, sixteen year old friend to go home with him and I demanded he is removed from the club. Permanently.”

Everything seemed to speed up then as Erik started to make up excuses and the bartender whistled, which led to two enormous guys walking up to them in a matter of seconds. Isak wondered if he was hallucinating this, if he had already passed out from the alcohol and was dreaming now. He watched them kick the guy out and Eskild smiled at the bartender before he turned back to Isak.

“How did you know I was sixteen?” Isak asked just as Eskild opened his mouth too, “are you okay?” Eskild laughed and there was a hand on his arm, but Isak shrugged it off. “I’m not gay,” he argued and Eskild held up his hands in the air, “hey, I’m not hitting on you, don’t worry. A thank you would be nice.” Eskild huffed and Isak felt guilty. He looked down at the bar and tried to clear his head a little, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, do you want to talk about why you’re sitting in a gay bar when you’re not gay, drinking to the point where you can’t even fend off the biggest creeps?” Eskild asked him. Isak’s head was pounding and he rubbed it, “I think I’m gonna throw up.”

He scrambled off the stool and Eskild followed him, “okay, okay, I’ve got you.” He pulled Isak with him when he almost rushed the wrong way and he closed the door behind them when Isak fell to his knees, throwing up in the toilet.

He felt awful, holding on to the toilet seat as he threw up his dinner and a lot of the beer he had downed. Eskild rubbed his back until he was done and then he offered him a glass of water. “Damn, what are you drinking away?” He asked, obviously worried.

Isak felt like he had sobered up a lot already and the water helped clear his mind so he sat back against the stall wall, looking up at the ceiling, “home.” Eskild didn’t laugh at him or make fun of it being a stupid reason, which Isak was grateful for. The last thing he wanted now was to be made fun of.

“What do you mean?” Eskild asked carefully, not wanting to upset him clearly, but it didn’t matter. Isak had been upset since he had left the house. “I’m not going back home, I don’t want to go back home. I hate them, I hate it there,” He cried, his lower lip trembling. Fuck, he was so far gone he couldn’t control his emotions anymore.

Eskild sat down across from him and frowned, “why? What’s wrong with home?” he asked and Isak wiped his face quickly, shaking his head, “I just can’t do it anymore. I’m just faking everything, like who am I, I don’t even know. I can’t do it, I can’t. Fuck, fuck I just want to sleep, I want to sleep and never fucking wake up again,” he rambled. He couldn’t explain it all, the story was way too long anyway.

“Wow, okay that’s not good,” Eskild said and Isak nodded, because yeah, it really wasn’t. “What’s your name?” Eskild asked then and Isak realised he had never given it. “Oh, I’m Isak,” he smiled just a little and Eskild smiled back. “Okay, well, Isak. I know you’re underage and probably don’t trust me or anything, but I have an apartment and if you want to crash then that’s okay.”

Isak took Eskild in this time, and he wondered if it all had been a big show-off to get Isak to go home with him. Were all gays fucking creepy? No- no he knew that was an exaggeration. And even if Eskild was… having to go home was just not an option. Especially not now that he was drunk. They would kill him. “Have I said that I’m not gay?” He asked Eskild and Eskild laughed and threw his head back, “yes. Yes, you have.”

He rolled his eyes, “I’m not trying to hook up with you, I’m just offering you shelter.” “Why?” Isak asked, narrowing his eyes a little. Why would someone just offer to take him in? “Maybe one day I’ll tell you. Maybe I’ve been in your shoes once,” Eskild said as he held out his hand, or well, his pinky. “I promise, I won’t rape you in your sleep,” he promised, waiting for Isak to link them.

Isak sighed, he could try and tell himself to be careful, but Eskild seemed trustworthy. He didn’t really have a choice either, so he linked their pinkies, “okay.” Eskild smiled and helped him stand up, holding him up with an arm around his waist, “can’t believe I won’t get laid tonight. Fucking hell,” he mumbled, but he laughed so Isak laughed with him.

Eskild thanked the bouncer at the door for his services and the guy smiled and gave a nod. And then they were outside and the fresh air helped Isak clear his head enough to be able to walk properly. Or at least, well enough not to drag Eskild down.

However, he wasn’t awake enough to realise where exactly they were going, nor how long it took to get there. All he remembered was walking and then Eskild opened a door for him and dragged him up the stairs. The apartment was quite big, or maybe that was his perception, but he couldn’t believe Eskild was able to live here.

“Come on, Noora isn’t home right now and Linn is inside her room,” He told Isak and Isak walked with him without asking questions. He was too tired to even think much about their names. He saw the bed in the room Isak led him too and fell in love. “Oh, a bed,” He said dumbly, laughing breathlessly.

He walked up to it, falling on top of it and groaning at how soft it was. Beds were good, beds were great. Isak loved sleeping. He heard Eskild moving around and then a shirt covered his face, “clean clothes,” Eskild said as he walked back and forth.

Isak pulled it off and saw a pair of sweats on the bed now too. Eskild was pulling the plastic bag out of his bin and then set the bin next to the bed, “for if you have to puke. You’re cleaning it though, just saying.” Eskiled watched as Isak curled up on his side, “thanks. Where will you be sleeping?”

“On the couch. Wouldn’t want my roommates to think you’re gay now, right?” Eskild was being bitter a little and Isak didn’t blame him for it. He had been incredibly unkind to him, which really wasn’t a thank you for the way Eskild had helped him. He didn’t know how to apologise for it though, he just knew he would say something that would make it worse.

But he remembered what Eskild has said. That he was doing this because maybe he had been in Isak’s shoes one day. So really, maybe Eskild had gone through some bad stuff too, and he didn’t deserve hate for that. “I’m sorry. I really appreciate this.”

Eskild paused and then hummed, sounding pleased once he replied again, “sleep, we’ll talk again once you’re sober and awake again.” Isak followed his advice and dropped his head in the pillow, making Eskild chuckle, “damn it, Isak. You could at least take your shoes off.” Isak pretended to be asleep already, so Eskild did it himself.

Isak smiled with his eyes closed and Eskild grumbled, “screw you.” They could be friends, maybe. Maybe Eskild would save him like someone else once saved Eskild.

 

\---

[Have you told me where you live?](https://goo.gl/forms/0VfUqcCxgJm7bAB93)


	31. Mandag 9:19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Point is that I've seen him grow so much with you around. He's out now, at least to the people that matter most to him. And not just that, he's no longer acting all cool and faking what kind of person he is," Eskild smiled at him, "he owes that to you."  
> \---  
> Or, part 2 of Eskild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY ONE MONTH OF FIC!!! 31 chapters so one month worth of chapters.  
> Only 160 kudos to go!!! keep it going and we'll have the 13k scene in 3 days!!!  
> Now, the results of my readers! Almost 200 people filled in the form <3  
> I will put a list down at the end of the chapter so you can see how many people in your country read this fic :---)  
> The top 3 countries though:
> 
> 1\. The United States (am I surprised? No, the states are HUGE. still love you though!)  
> 2\. NORWAY (skam country <3)  
> 3\. Sweden (neighbours of skam country)
> 
> Alt er love!

This scene takes place during the week of Even's depression. When Eskild takes care of Even. I wanted to link it to chapter 30.

 ---

Even didn’t know how late it was when he woke up, but the curtains showed sunlight so it must have been quite late already. He tried to fall asleep again, knowing it would be a while before Isak would be back. He’d rather sleep than be awake with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company.

He sat up when he couldn’t sleep anymore and he looked around Isak’s room. He had been here for days but he had hardly seen what exactly his room was like. He let his feet touch the floor and he got up, walking so his limbs wouldn’t be so stiff.

The closet was a mess of badly folded clothes that Isak never bothered to sort out and it made Even smile. He pulled out a hoodie he liked on Isak and put it on over his shirt. Maybe he could do something to thank Isak for letting him stay here. It would at least help him distract himself.

He started pulling out all of Isak’s clothes, throwing them on the floor in one big pile before he flopped down on the floor and started refolding. He didn’t put them away until they were folded perfectly. He even colour coded them before he put the neat piles back into Isak’s closet.

T-shirts in a pile, following the colours of the rainbow in perfect order. Long sleeved shirts in a pile, hoodies in a pile. Jeans and other pants separated. Coats on hangers, also following the colours of the rainbow. He felt a little more relaxed now he was done and he turned to see if there was more he could do to keep the anxiety away.

He cleaned a little, throwing all of Isak’s schoolbooks together and he tidied the things he had in the cupboard next to his bed. The top shelf contained a lot of rubbish that Even didn’t even dare touch, but the other shelves were full of stuff.

There was a pack of unopened condoms, which made Even chuckle, some CD’s, a few pictures of him and his friends from what appeared to be last Christmas and- and Even’s drawings. All the tiny drabbles he had made for Isak were there. The one with the toastie, the one with the text, all of them.

Even picked them up and looked at them. Isak had written something on the back: the date. Even felt warm at the thought of Isak loving these drawings so much he would keep them, keep them and look at them from time to time. He took them with him as he crawled back into bed, curling up in the covers and getting lost in thought.

The drawings were from a better time, and maybe if he made them now Isak wouldn’t keep them. The thought brought his anxiety back at full force and he frowned as he put the pictures down next to him on the mattress. He wrapped himself into the blanket and closed his eyes, doing everything in his power to forget about how his mind still tried to convince him Isak was going to leave.

“Even?” He heard his name being whispered from the door and he turned his head to look over the duvet. Eskild stood at the door, holding a plate in his hands, “can I come in?”

When Even didn’t reply Eskild took it as permission and he made his way over to the bed. A plate with two slices of bread. One with brown cheese and one with jam. Eskild put the plate next to his face, “are you hungry?” he asked and Even didn’t reply still. He didn’t feel like talking.

Eskild waited for a while to see if Even would speak up or eat, but he just wanted to be alone. "Look," Eskild started as he patted Even's hair, "I know you don't want to talk about everything that's going on so I'll just tell you a story about Isak.” Even didn’t get how telling a story about Isak would help anything, but he just let Eskild be.

"When I met Isak before the summer, he was such a completely different person. It is like he aged about three years in just a few months and part of that is thanks to you," Eskild laughed a little and Even curled up tighter as his mind instantly threw comments at him how those were lies. He had hurt Isak, not made him grow. Not in a good way at least.

"I met Isak on a Thursday night. It was about May, and there was a lull in my schoolwork which allowed me to go out and get drunk on a Thursday. So I went to this gay bar in town, which you two should totally do again some time by the way, but anyway,” Eskild must not really know Isak if he suggested Even should take him to a gay bar. Isak was still much too far into the closet.

Eskild continued his story, “It was still quite early and there weren't that many people yet. And there he was, sitting at the bar with one empty and one full glass of beer and one overly touchy older guy sitting next to him. Isak was totally out of it.”

Even couldn't help but feel angry as he heard the story. Isak getting talked up by some guy when he had clearly had too much to drink was absolutely awful. If only he had been there to protect him, but Eskild had done that. Thank god for Eskild.

Eskild had a dark look on his face, obviously not liking this part of the memory, but he still continued, "I saved him from that asshole. But it was so sad to see someone so young being so drunk. He was rambling shit once I asked him what was wrong. Things about how he couldn't live at home anymore and that his whole life was a lie and he was so tired of it all and he just wanted to sleep forever." 

Eskild went quiet for a moment and Even wondered what memories were flashing through his mind. It was obvious that Eskild cared about Isak, it had been obvious before too, but he wondered if Isak really realised just how much Eskild cared.

"I was scared," Eskild whispered, "I was scared he would maybe do something to hurt himself. Maybe he was suicidal or something. He kept saying he would never go back home again. I couldn't just let him go back out alone." 

Even's heart ached and he put a hand on Eskild's leg, the only bit of comfort he felt like he could offer him right now. Eskild closed his eyes, a small smile playing at his lips due to Even finally acknowledging him. "Anyway, I took him home with me, let him sleep it off, and then he talked to me a little. Not much, but enough for me to know that his family situation was tough. He was much too young to be taking care of two parents and deal with their break up. So I did the only thing I really could do for him. I let him stay." 

Even heard Eskild laugh, lost in the memories, while Even couldn't help but look at Eskild in wonder. He had done such a selfless thing for a boy in need. Even understood now why Isak was so close to him and he understood much better why Isak had obviously asked Eskild to look after him.

Eskild went on then, "And back then Noora lived in this room, so he had to stay in the basement until she left to go to London with her boyfriend. And that's how he got this room. But that's not the point of this story."

Even raised his eyebrows and pulled up the blankets a little tighter around himself, "no?" He asked, his voice breaking due to how long he had been quiet. Eskild shook his head, "no. That's back when sixteen year old Isak acted like a sixteen year old. Well, of course there were glimpses when he looked much older, like that night in the club, but when his friends were there he would be so young. So unaware of how difficult the world really was. Isak was out of the situation with his parents, but still so far in the closet that he may have been living in fucking Narnia." Eskild laughed at his own joke and Even cracked a smile too. 

He knew Isak hadn't been open about his sexuality the way Even had. Not when they first met. And he had definitely noticed that how each time he had tried to kiss Isak in public, Isak had moved away and tried to laugh it off.

"And that's where you come in. Trust me, I've had countless talks with Isak about why I found him at a gay bar and all that jazz. It was pointless to have those talks, because Isak would always defend himself to a point where it was so obvious he was lying. But then you come along and sleep over for the first time, and he just casually tells me you two had a thing. Like he hadn't denied he was into guys so many times before that."

Even smiled, remembering lying on Isak's bed with him, kissing him and talking and smoking. Isak had lied about his shoes that day, said they were Jonas's. He remembered so clearly. But he had still told Eskild later on, after Even had left? 

"Point is that I've seen him grow so much with you around. He's out now, at least to the people that matter most to him. And not just that, he's no longer acting all cool and faking what kind of person he is," Eskild smiled at him, "he owes that to you."

In Even's current state of mind that was hard to believe. That out of all this awfulness, something good had happened too. He could tell though that Eskild wasn't lying to him, so there had to be some truth to it.

"I've seen him ignore his mother's texts for weeks, months even, but now he's realised that a mental disorder doesn't change a person's personality or their feelings for someone, he's making an effort, and I think that's beautiful."

Even closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. Eskild was giving him credit for hurting Isak and breaking his heart, just because it made him grow as a person? Why does that matter more than the things Even did to hurt him? Was Eskild ignoring it because Even was bipolar? That was completely unfair of him. Whether manic or not, it had been _him_ who had hurt Isak and there were no excuses for that.

It was as if Eskild could read his mind, because he touched Even's hair again and told him, "don't be so hard on yourself. Isak loves you." 

His breathing turned shaky and he squeezed his hands into fists as he tried not to cry. He was over the crying part, that had been done already, and if he'd think about Isak too much now it would only start all over again. So he tried to think of something else, tried to show what Eskild’s words meant to him in another way.

He pushed himself up a little and picked up the slice of bread with jam, taking a bite. He swore Eskild was positively beaming for having succeeded. He stared at the bread, felt it wasn’t actually too difficult to eat anymore and he finished all of it before he felt too full to eat the second.

Even fell back down, finally feeling sleepy again. Eskild’s story had made him feel more peaceful and calm than he had done in days. It was a little easier to say that maybe it was only his depression talking in his head and he really didn’t have to worry so much. Isak loved him.

“Thank you,” He told Eskild as he closed his eyes and Eskild was satisfied enough to leave him alone. He picked up the left over bread and got up, “if you need anything I’ll be in the living room,” he said. Eskild was great at taking care of others. Even just hoped he had someone who took care of him too.

To show his appreciation he got up after he had slept some more, feeling much better now he had eaten something too, and flopped down next to Eskild in the living room. Isak’s roommate made him play Yahtzee, his enthusiasm making Even smile and he was glad Eskild didn’t expect him to talk much.

They played best of three and Even won, whether fairly or not he didn’t know, but it was nice. And when Eskild made him tea and put on some planet earth, Even stayed there with him. He sipped his tea and listened to Eskild comment on flamingos until he had to go. It was only slightly suspicious to see Noora walk in right after Eskild left, but he didn’t comment on it. Isak loved him. And Even understood.

 

 

\---

Argentina: 3

Austria: 1

Belgium: 6 (jo spreken jullie allemaal nederlands??)

Brazil: 4

Canada: 8

Colombia: 1

Croatia: 2

Czech Republic: 1

Denmark: 12 (go scandinavia)

Estonia: 1

Finland: 9

France: 6

Germany: 11 (danke schön, meine nachbarn!)

Greece: 1

Hungary: 2 

Iceland: 1

India: 1

Ireland: 2

Italy: 6 (didn't know Skam was a thing there too)

Latvia: 1

New Zealand: 3

Norway: 20 (you fucking rule, <33)

Peru: 1

Poland: 4

Russia: 13

Serbia: 1

Slovakia: 1

Slovenia: 1

Spain: 3

Sweden: 18

The Netherlands: 5 (liefde voor jullie allemaal!! <333)

The UK: 12 

The US: 31

Uruguay: 1

 


	32. Onsdag 13:43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He stopped when he spotted the red snapback lying where Isak had put it the afternoon before. Even held it in his hands and felt bad again for how things had gone. From feeling on top of the world to hell. Isak had apparently left in such a rush that he had forgotten this.  
> \---  
> Or, the one where Even returns the snapback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaghhh less than 100 kudos away. I really hope I will reach them before tomorrow night because that way I can post the celebatory scene on skam day: Friday. Either way you all fucking rule. I was so overwhelmed when I woke up to 21 new comments since I went to bed. I was actually shook. Usually there's a few, but you've been giving me so much love and I never see it coming and never understand how you all like MY reading.  
> I love each and every one of you and feel blessed that I can entertain you with these short bursts of Evak every day! <3 
> 
> Takk!

When Even woke up he felt awful and hungover. He had gone too far with the beer, but he had wanted to forget everything that had happened from the moment his friends had interrupted his afternoon with Isak. And now he had to pay the price for that.

The sun was shining outside and he groaned and turned over in bed, pulling the covers up a little higher. He had gone home alone that night, neither him nor Sonja wanted to stay together and sleep over. He was fucking thankful for that, because he had barely managed to keep up the act in front of his friends.

He closed his eyes again and sighed as he thought of Isak. He had felt so on top of the world with him, so at ease and happy. He wanted that again. He wanted Isak to come over and crawl into bed with him, sleep with him and let him kiss him. How far away from that dream they were in reality…

Isak may just hate him now. Sonja could have ruined his shot at being with Isak, which was fucking annoying. He groaned again and took deep breaths as he dreamed up Isak’s face. Everything he remembered about it, the details he had been close enough to see. And his laughter still rang clear in his ears when he thought of it.

Fuck, Even hadn’t realised how far gone he was. Yes, he had known he had a bad crush, but that idealistic image he had of Isak could have all come crashing down once he got to know him a little. Instead it had gotten worse. Isak was a much better fit for him than he had initially hoped for. The thought of breaking up with Sonja and just going to Isak to serenade him was pretty tempting, but he knew Isak would just think of him as a creep.

His head was pounding, the hangover intense, and Even realised he needed water. He pushed the blankets off first as he stared at the ceiling and he lay there until he got too cold and his body felt more okay with sitting up. He didn’t actually remember climbing the stairs to his bed, but he imagined it must have been quite the task.

His mother was in the living room, reading a book, and she smiled at him, “well, hello.” She looked amused and Even rubbed his face, “morning?” he questioned. “You made it to your bed then?” His mother asked and Even stared at her for a moment, “uh, yeah?”

She looked at him over her book, “okay, good. When I found you asleep in the kitchen I figured it would be a difficult walk to your room.” Even groaned, “oh, no. Did I really?” he asked and she laughed. “I’m sorry,” He told her, but she waved it off, “don’t be. Just, remember not to go on this type of bender every week, okay? Because then we’ll be taking different measures. Remember that it’s not beneficial for your well-being, Even.”

He sighed, although her words were true. Sonja had definitely been pissed at him yesterday, but his mom was a little more relaxed. She hadn’t always been that way, though. There had been times where she was worse than Sonja, always checking up on him. She had even brought him to school and picked him up again for weeks on end. Until Even had turned 16 and they had gotten in a huge fight.

Even had been so done with how both Sonja and his parents were treating him like a child. She had listened to him in silence as he ranted about how he had to learn to live his own life and that involved making mistakes and learning from them. Although he didn’t always learn, which was what his mother worried about most.

His mother had given up after that. For a while they hadn’t talked, until she had been ready to accept that Even had been serious about what he wanted. They had made a compromise then: she wouldn’t interfere in his life unless she felt he was taking it too far. So her warning wasn’t taken lightly. Even knew he had gone too far, but it had been a particularly rough night.

“I know, mom. It wasn’t planned and it won’t happen again. Things are just not really great right now,” He told her and she hummed and closed her book, “do you want to talk about it?” Instead of demanding answers, she now always asked him if he wanted to open up by himself. This time he didn’t feel like he had to. He shook his head, “not really. Just another rough patch with Sonja.”

She nodded, way too used to this. In the few years he had been with Sonja this was a reoccurring thing. “Alright. If you want to talk about it you know where to find me, right?” She asked, making sure he knew she would always be there for him. “Yes, I know, mom,” He told her, his headache pounding again. Still, he appreciated her more now he was a little older.

His mother understood he wasn’t going to open up any more so she opened her book again, trying to find where she had left off, and Even watched her a little more. “I love you,” He told her, feeling like he didn’t show her enough just how much he appreciated her. She always dealt with all his weird stuff. It didn’t matter whether that was thanks to his disorder or just his personality, she accepted him for who he was.

She looked surprised, dropping the book in her lap, and smiled at him. Her arms opened and she tilted her head, “come here my beautiful boy.” Even felt embarrassed for a moment, feeling like she was babying him, but he realised he needed this today.

He flopped down next to her on the couch and hugged her tightly. She patted his hair, fixing it, “I love you too, son.” Even smiled as he closed his eyes and felt younger than he had in a while. “Now, go get something to drink. There’s some aspirin in the cabinet, take those. And take a shower, please,” She begged as she let him escape from her hold. Even figured he must still smell like alcohol so he nodded, “yes, mom,” he smiled as he whined the words the way he used to do when he had been younger.

He felt much lighter as he walked to the kitchen and got a glass of water with aspirin to take to his room. When he got there he started cleaning up the mess they had left behind the night before. The empty bottles, the plates he had used for the cheese toasties with Isak and his clothes he had messily thrown around the room.

He stopped when he spotted the red snapback lying where Isak had put it the afternoon before. Even held it in his hands and felt bad again for how things had gone. From feeling on top of the world to hell. Isak had apparently left in such a rush that he had forgotten this.

Without really thinking about it he put the hat on his head before going back to cleaning up. He tried to shake the thoughts he had as he set all the garbage in a bag next to his door. He didn’t want to fall back into the mood he had had the night before.

Once it was neat enough he got clean clothes and made his way to the bathroom. Even looked ridiculous as he looked at himself in the mirror, feeling like the snapback was totally not his style. It always looked so good on Isak, with the way his wavy hair curled from underneath it, but Even’s hair just flattened like this.

He took it off and shook his head to fix his hair. Well, at least he had a reason to see Isak again.

He took a shower and felt a lot clearer as he got dressed. He shaved his stubble and brushed his teeth and then put the snapback on his head again. It may not suit him, but it reminded him of Isak and he liked that. Maybe if he kept hoping and thinking things would be okay then in the end they really would be.

\---

On Wednesday Even spent half his free hour looking for Isak. He had already checked to see that Isak had an hour off too so he could be anywhere, but where Even finally found him was the last place he expected Isak to be. He was sitting with his friends, watching a group of girls practising for the revue.

Seeing Isak’s face was hilarious, because he looked like he was watching a group of aliens dancing instead of girls. His face was scrunched up, confusion written all over it. Maybe he was wondering what on earth made boys fall for dancer girls. Even waited in the corner, not wanting to disturb the girls during their routine.

Isak looked as uninterested as he did in some of his classes. Even knew, because he had been paying attention. But not even the clearly gay guy that was in charge managed to get Isak’s attention. Maybe he was just lost in thought. The girls were done for the day and Even watched Isak turn to Jonas. They started talking, which Even took as a moment to interrupt them.

He checked to feel if the snapback was still on his head before he took a deep breath and focused on being confident. He couldn’t show Isak he had been thinking about him, that he had been wearing the snapback to feel closer to him. He had to play it cool, like it was just a thing that had happened and Even didn’t feel anything. Isak just left his snapback, it wasn’t as big of a deal as Even was making it to be.

Isak didn’t spot him as he walked up, which was a shame because Even was killing his walk. “Hey,” He barged in when he got to them and Isak’s gaze moved to him. Nothing changed in the expression on his face. He didn’t let Even see what he was thinking.

“You forgot this on Friday,” Even said while he took the snapback off and threw it at Isak. All of Isak’s friends were watching him, like they didn’t know who the fuck he was. So Isak hadn’t told them about him? Maybe he deserved that.

Isak looked a little startled and almost acted as if he didn’t know Even at all, which surprised him. He watched the faces of Isak’s friends, who were all staring at him too. Maybe watching these girls had made them lose their ability to think.

He raised his eyebrows and stared at Isak again, “it’s yours?” he asked, just to make sure he hadn’t made a fool of himself, although he knew it was. He had been watching Isak for weeks. He was one hundred percent sure it was his. Why the hell was he not saying anything?

 Isak stared at him, licked his lips, and Even wondered if he was angry. The guy with dark curly hair and bushy eyebrows, who was sitting next to Isak, spoke up then, “I think that’s mine…” Isak averted his eyes and another one of his friends asked, “forgot where?” And that brought on a look of panic on Isak’s face. So Even was right, he hadn’t told his friends about Friday.

Even kept his eyes on Isak, waiting for him to come up with an explanation, but Isak was frozen. Which was why Even did it for him. As a way to apologise, a sorry for fucking up their night, he saved him from having to explain. He shrugged as he answered, “in the cafeteria.” Isak sort of owed him now, which was good. Every reason they had to see each other again was a good one, no matter what the motivation behind it was.

He looked down as he placed his hands on his upper legs, trying to come across as relaxed. Isak still wasn’t saying anything and Even took that loss as he turned away and walked off. Why could things never go according to plan with Isak? It was frustrating and time consuming. Why wouldn’t he just give in already? Was Even really that hard to read?

He wondered when he would see Isak again, but he didn’t have to worry for long, because when Vilde came bouncing up to him, talking about a party at Isak’s, he smiled. Seeing Isak and knowing where he lived, apparently karma was still on his good side.

\---

_If you liked this and haven't left kudos yet, please do so. My daily readers (and myself tbh) are dying to get to 2000 so I can release the daMN 5 PART SCENE ALREADY._


	33. Fredag 19:00 (post chapter 9)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!! The following part (as will 2 more parts of this scene) contains SMUT!!!! See notes for further information!!  
> \---  
> Even’s hands struggled to get in between their hips and it was even more difficult to get Isak’s button to pop like that, but he managed. Isak gasped for air as Even unzipped him, as if the sound made him realise what this was leading too. He didn’t shy away however, like maybe Even had expected. After all Isak wasn’t as comfortable with this as he was, yet.  
> \---  
> Or, Even goes down on Isak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This 5 part scene takes place between the Friday night where Even shows up at Isak at the end of episode 7, where he shows his friends the back door, until the Monday morning shower scene they talk about in the sext.  
> I am aware that not everyone is into sex scenes or my style when it comes to those, but I've had many requests for this and so I decided to write it. This scene is more detailed as it is Even's POV and I see Even as a highly sexual person, which made it easier to write in detail for him.  
> \---  
> Now that's out of the way... wow. I fucking wow. So much love.   
> :----)  
> I won't ask for more kudos now, haha, I've gotten too many already. Instead, leave a comment telling me what your favourite scene was so far?! I'd love to know.

 

_\---_

_From the moment their lips touched Even felt everything around him fade into nothingness. There was only Isak and him, kissing to make up for lost time. And there was so much lost time, more than a week of it. And Even had been so stupid to think he should stay with Sonja, because nothing could beat the way he felt now. Nothing could beat the way he felt about Isak._

_He realised that he would do whatever needed to be done to fix this and win Isak back over. And Isak seemed just as desperate as they tore at each other’s clothes. Maybe he had been wrong about Sonja, maybe the safe choice was exactly what Even_ _didn’t_ _need. Maybe he had been wrong about Isak too, maybe Isak would accept Even once the truth came out. He didn’t have to tell straight away, no, he could ease into it._

_It didn’t matter though, because he didn’t want to spend another minute away from Isak no matter the eventual outcome. He would take as much time as Isak would give him._

_He would take forever if Isak were to offer it to him._

**\---**

Isak was pushing his denim jacket off his shoulders and kept kissing him so desperately that Even couldn’t do anything but kiss back with the same intensity. He cupped Isak’s cheek and tilted his head to deepen the kiss, licking into his mouth as they walked backwards down the hallway.

Their mouths parted only once on their way to Isak’s bedroom, but apart from that they managed to stay glued together, only breaking apart when Isak’s back hit his bedroom wall. Isak wasn’t playing though, he didn’t let Even catch his breath for long. And Even didn’t want him to. He wanted to have him feel how much Even wanted him, and he wanted to feel how much Isak wanted him in return.

He felt Isak’s fingers press against the back of his neck, felt them move through his hair for a few moments before Isak lifted his hand up higher, fingers tangling in his hair and dragging his head down as he kissed him so hard Even swore his lips would be bruised. He loved it, it was such a freaking turn on.

This wasn’t enough though. Even wanted more, no, he _needed_ more. He broke free from Isak’s grip and watched the shock on his face for a second. That showed him just how unsure Isak was. That split second of doubt, of ‘oh god don’t tell me you’re going to stop this’.

It was only a split second and then it was gone again, because Even wasn’t going anywhere. For a moment he wanted to reach for his own hoodie, but then he decided against it. No, he wanted to get Isak naked first. He had permission now, right? Isak had given him permission to do this. He had initiated it.

He pushed Isak’s loose button up shirt down his shoulders and pressed up to him. Isak wriggled his hands to help get it off before his hands were on Even’s hoodie, returning the favour. Their movements were rushed but it felt like it took forever to get where they were and so every second counted.

Isak took off his snapback and dropped it on the floor carelessly. He hadn’t expected Isak to be this forward now, but Isak had been longing for him and Even had been stupid enough to push him away. God, he was such an idiot. Such a big fucking idiot.

Isak grabbed the neck of his shirt and yanked it off in one swift motion. Even was tired of watching and he dove in to kiss the newly exposed skin. His lips grazed Isak’s shoulder and down to his chest, but Isak brought his face up again, kissing his mouth hungrily.

His hands stayed on Even’s face until he was sure Even wouldn’t pull back again and only then did he let go to bring them down to pull at Even’s shirt. Even retreated when he felt the fabric at his chin and Isak allowed him so he could get the shirt out of the way.

Isak hung on to his shoulder, his other hand sliding over Even’s waist to his back and their bodies were pressed together, chests now touching. Even couldn’t wait to make him moan, to make him completely lose it. He couldn’t wait to have Isak splayed out in front of him. Finally his.

Even’s hands struggled to get in between their hips and it was even more difficult to get Isak’s button to pop like that, but he managed. Isak gasped for air as Even unzipped him, as if the sound made him realise what this was leading too. He didn’t shy away however, like maybe Even had expected. After all Isak wasn’t as comfortable with this as he was, yet.

They shared another kiss, hands all over each other too, and then Even was done with the teasing. He let their noses touch as he stared into Isak’s eyes for a moment, connecting with him. Isak let it happen, didn’t rush into another kiss, and it felt intimate. No words needed, just eye contact, asking a question and getting the green light.

And Even didn’t move until he got that green light, because he know how important that was right now. But then Isak gave it and Even didn’t waste another second. He brought up a hand to Isak’s jaw to hold it, tilting it so he could kiss Isak’s cheek sweetly before moving to his neck. He nipped at Isak’s skin, leaving wet open mouthed kisses on his way down Isak’s chest.

He crouched down and let his hands rest on Isak’s hips until he was stable enough to move so he could take hold of Isak’s jeans and yank them down to mid-thigh. He looked up at Isak who was staring ahead, but he finally looked down when Even’s lips attached to his upper leg, right underneath the rim of his underwear.

Even was asking for permission again, his hands now on the band of his underwear. Isak stared at him quietly and he wondered what was going on in the boy’s mind then. What was he thinking? Was he going to stop him? Would he really do that now?

Isak lifted a leg, shaking off his jeans and Even helped get it out of the way. That wasn’t a no, but it wasn’t a yes either. And then Isak took the hand that was still on his hip and tugged on it softly so Even knew what he meant with that. He pulled him along to the bed and Isak stopped with his calves against the edge of the bed, waiting.

Even straightened himself, getting into Isak’s space again to kiss him in order for him to unwind a little. When he felt Isak kiss him back the way he had done before, frantic and eager, he pushed him down on the mattress and brought his hands to his own jeans to undress himself further. He realised Isak probably felt more comfortable that way.

He didn’t want to bother with these things, his own pleasure wasn’t a priority right now. He just needed to touch Isak, fuck clothes, fuck nerves. Fuck everything.

He crawled on top of Isak, who looked bewildered by how hurried his actions were, but Even kissed him again and Isak didn’t protest, so Even felt like it wasn’t a bad thing. His hips were straddling Isak’s and he watched the boy lick his lip as he struggled not to let it show what he was feeling.

Even wouldn’t accept that though, because he needed to see. He needed Isak to let his guard down and show him how much he wanted this. Even knew this could be a big deal for him, because he knew that Isak wasn’t out of the closet and that meant maybe he had never done this, but if he didn’t let Even in then he would never get through to him and he would never be able to tell what Isak was into and what not.

Isak had started off so confident, dominating the situation. It was Even that had been kissed then, Even who had had to obey to whatever Isak’s lips begged of him. Now though, now the roles were reversed.

Even leaned over, kissing Isak’s chin and then his nose, his hand stroking Isak’s cheek lovingly and he whispered, “stop thinking.” Stop thinking and feel, stop thinking and let me see. Show me I made the right choice by coming here. And something in Isak’s beautiful eyes changed, a look, recognition maybe. And Even felt two hands come up to settle on his waist.

Alright, okay. He could deal with that. He kissed Isak some more, until their kisses got too soft for this moment. He took his time on his way down Isak’s chest, sucking at the skin and flicking his tongue over the bruises. Isak was a beautiful canvas filled with freckles and birth marks everywhere and Even wanted to trace each and every one of them sometime, but not now.

He kept himself up with his hands on the mattress as he pressed his lips to Isak’s stomach, getting one knee in between Isak’s legs so he could nudge them apart. Isak obeyed easily with no questions asked, which again was a good sign, and Even moved so he could sit in between Isak’s legs.

His lips reached the last piece of clothing that covered Isak’s body and it almost felt like it was mocking him. Enough play now, he wanted to touch. He sat back on his knees enough to not need the support of his arms anymore and then curled his fingers around the band of Isak’s underwear and pulled on it.

The gasp that left Isak’s lips wasn’t hard to miss, but he lifted his hips up slightly to accommodate and that made Even smile. He didn’t bother with taking it off all the way, left it there mid-thigh, and he shared one last look before he bent over, sick and tired of teasing, and took Isak’s cock in his mouth.

This wasn’t the first time he had done this, but it was the first time it meant something to him. And Even understood why Isak was nervous, but he didn’t want him to be. He wanted him to keep gasping, to moan his name. Fuck, Even was so gone already.

He swirled his tongue, getting him wet and then he pulled off again. He looked up briefly to see Isak’s eyes were closed, his hands tightened in the sheets and it turned Even on immensely. Shit, he was so gorgeous, fucking hell. He stayed and watched for another moment, trying to store the image away for later before he dropped his head again.

Isak was panting already and Even smiled at that, licking his lips. He left teasing kisses down the length of Isak’s cock until he reached his balls. He cupped them softly and looked up for a moment to see if it made Isak uncomfortable, but he still looked the same. His breath was high in his chest, his hands clenching and unclenching in the sheets and so Even pressed his lips to the skin again, leaving kisses first before he used his tongue, keeping it flat knowing it would make the sensation that much more intense.

The slow teasing and build up got him bored quickly though. He wanted to feel the despair, wanted to see and feel Isak withering thanks to his touch, so he moved back up and took him in his mouth again, going down much further this time. He bobbed his head up and down, making sure the movement was slick before he took him in even further.

He could feel his gag reflex getting triggered, but he took deep breaths and worked through it, ignoring it. Isak was whimpering above him and Even felt sparks in his own abdomen, which he intently ignored. Not now, this wasn’t about him.

As he took Isak in again, almost deep throating now, he hollowed his cheeks, sucking softly, and he held it on his way back up. It drew a loud moan from Isak’s mouth and Even could feel the muscles in Isak’s right leg spasm faintly. It was a beautiful sound, but not yet his name, which meant Even had to do more

Even curled his arms around Isak’s thighs, using his hands to hold his hips down on the bed so Isak wouldn’t be able to buck them. Isak’s skin was soft, he was so soft, and he was letting Even do this. His guard was finally down, moans just dripping from his lips like they were his way of breathing. They turned Even’s brain into mush, his heart into a beating mess.

He had all these thoughts while he was sucking Isak off and honestyly, it shouldn’t sound so fucking hot in his mind. But it was hot, it was goddamn scorching his brain. His nose touched Isak’s stomach each time he moved down and he could feel the muscles there contract more and more.

And then Even decided that, fuck it, it still wasn’t enough. He forced his gag reflex to fucking stop and he closed his eyes as he just kept taking Isak in until he couldn’t take more, having taken him in completely. Isak’s hand finally found its way to his hair and he curled his fingers in the locks as he left a string of curses that would have made Even laugh if his mouth wasn’t full of cock.

He couldn’t hold it for long, but he managed to do it again and then again, until Isak’s curses were no longer comprehensible. “Je-ah-fu-da,” It sounded like Isak could only speak in half words, but Even could still understand them.

And then Even finally got what he had been so desperate for since he started this. “E-Eveeeen,” Isak dragged out the word in a high pitched voice and Even could hear he was getting close. He could feel it too and he pressed his fingers into Isak’s skin a little harder.

His nose touched Isak’s abdomen, the soft curls of his pubic hair, and Even loved all of him. Isak’s fingers twirled through his hair, tangling them in further, and he repeated the word, “Even,” a little breathier this time. He tugged on Even’s hair, an obvious sign that he was close, but Even wouldn’t pull back.

When Isak whined loudly and Even felt his back arch off the bed he pulled back enough so he could hollow his cheeks once more, sucking softly on his way up and his tongue swirled around the head once. And then Isak was gone.

Even watched him as he came. The way he threw his head back, his lower back arched so beautifully that his ribs were showing on every gasping inhale while Even worked him through it, swallowing all of him.

Once Isak collapsed back on the bed again and Even felt him softening in his mouth he sat back, his hands letting go of Isak’s thighs. He wiped at his mouth and felt how much his jaw actually ached now. He hadn’t noticed, too caught up in Isak to really notice anything else. He was glad that Isak had dragged him to the bed though, otherwise his knees would be killing him right now.

He sat there for a moment before Isak’s hand found his again and he dragged him down on top of him. Their bodies aligned again and Isak begged for kisses, both his hands moving up to touch Even’s face as their lips moved together slowly. It almost felt like a thank you.

Even kissed him for a few minutes until he really couldn’t anymore, his mouth too bruised to do much more than let Isak touch it, but Isak had other plans anyway. Even was still hard, pressing against Isak’s stomach through his underwear, and Isak flipped them over so he was on top.

He stared down at Even a moment or two, taking in what it was like to hang over him like this, and then sat back on his heels. He pulled up his own underwear first, so he would be able to move easier, before he tried to take off Even’s.

Even could tell straight away that Isak was trying do act with confidence, but his nerves were clearly back now. His hands were shaking a little, his movements too rushed so they felt uncoordinated. Even could understand though, because he was Isak’s first guy. Or so he was made to believe.

Isak stared at his cock once he got his underwear down and Even held back a laugh. This wasn’t a laughing matter. For fuck’s sake, Isak was doing this despite his nerves and despite it being his first time. He deserved more credit than Even did. At least Even had had practice before.

Isak licked his lips before he scooted back and dropped down to press kisses to Even’s stomach, down to one hip. Still a safe zone. He put his trembling hands on Even’s hips and Even watched intently as Isak thought about what to do next. He stayed still for so long that it wasn’t hard to realise that Isak really didn’t know how to deal with this.

“You don’t have to,” Even whispered, drawing Isak’s attention. He smiled at him, “I don’t expect you to do the same, you know.” It could just be Even, but he thought he saw the tension in Isak’s shoulders fade slightly. Isak swallowed, torn up about what to do, and that said enough.

Even sat up, making Isak sit back too, and he tipped up Isak’s chin so he would look at him. Isak sucked his lower lip between his teeth before he let it go again. “I don’t expect _anything_ of you,” Even repeated, making sure Isak knew this. He didn’t want Isak to feel pressured into anything.

Isak nodded and looked away, but Even wouldn’t let his chin go. “It’s just,” Isak started and his eyes met Even’s fleetingly before he averted his gaze again, “I haven’t- before. Not with anyone, so.” Isak was being honest with him and Even felt extremely proud of him for that.

“That’s okay, I can just- I can do it myself if you don’t mind,” He smiled, showing him it really wasn’t a big deal. Isak was his now, there’d be plenty of opportunities to do this in the future. But Isak shook his head, breaking out of Even’s hold.

He guided Even back down again, holding his shoulders as he made him lie back. Isak straddled his thighs this time, smiling gently as he brought up a hand to his mouth and then he shamelessly started licking his fingers, which made Even catch up quickly. Isak was meeting him in the middle, sticking to what felt comfortable for him.

Isak looked amazingly sexy as his tongue darted out between his fingers and he was definitely making a show of it. Even placed his hands on Isak’s knees so he wouldn’t use his own hand to get himself off already. Isak kept eye contact as he continued to his palm and Even didn’t understand how just a minute ago he had been having a slight panic attack, only to pick up his confidence again and do- well, fucking _this_.

Finally Isak seemed satisfied and he brought his hand down to wrap it around Even’s cock. The touch was cold and Even desperately needed him to start moving it, but Isak was teasing. His free hand moved down Even’s chest, fingers trailing ever so lightly down the crease of Even’s thigh. Even wasn’t that ticklish, but it still sent shocks through his whole body before it settled in his gut.

He pushed his hips up, which made Isak cock an eyebrow, but he grinned proudly and finally, fucking finally, started moving his hand. He jerked him off like he knew what he was doing and Even thought it was an extreme turn on to know this was probably the way Isak did it for himself too.

Loose on the way down, tight on the stroke up. His thumb swirled over the head from time to time and then softly massaged the skin right beneath the crown, which always made him weak in the knees. Even was pretty sure Isak could keep doing this and make him come just with that.

Of course he didn’t, though. Isak picked up the pace, twisting his hand on the way down and stroking up faster. Isak was watching himself do this so intently that Even could tell he was getting worked up again himself. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes since he had made Isak come, but here he was.

Even gasped, holding his breath and he cursed as he exhaled again. Isak cursed too and he was shaking his head slightly as he moved up on Even’s legs. For a moment Even wondered what he was doing, but then he watched Isak use his free hand to guide their cocks together. “Jesus,” Even groaned, seeing Isak half hard again already, and he pushed himself up awkwardly.

Even placed one hand behind him, keeping himself up, and used the other to cover whatever Isak couldn’t. Their faces were only inches apart and they shared gasps as their hands moved in sync, finger overlapping. Isak looked like a god like this.

Isak smiled at him playfully and it made him so look so damn dirty. Even wanted to kiss him so badly. It was as if Isak could read him, because only seconds later he leaned forwards and pressed their mouths together. They shared short kisses, needing to break apart for air too often, and this was just as perfect as any blowjob could be.

He tried to hold himself back, to wait for Isak to get there too, but Isak kept making these sounds as his touches got wilder and Even was fucking losing it. He closed his eyes, tried to focus on his breathing, but he couldn’t hold on any longer.

It was hard to breathe and he felt dizzy, sparks behind his eyelids as he kept them squeezed shut, but he wanted to see Isak’s face so he forced them to open. Isak’s mouth hung open and his eyes were wide as he was so close too and that picture was enough to get him there.

He came hard, feeling it hit his own chest, and his own hand lost the ability to really do much. Isak kept going though and it took a few more seconds before he joined him there, tipping his head back as he did and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. Stunning, a damn work of art.

For moments there was nothing but their shared breaths, trying to catch their breath and then Isak started laughing. Even wondered why, what the hell was so funny, but he didn’t have time to ask. Isak wrapped his arms around Even’s neck and Even was too weak to hold them up so they fell back on the bed together. Isak’s face hid against his neck and Even could feel his smile there.


	34. Fredag 20:20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (No smut, but follow up for chapter 33)  
> \---  
> He looked young then, much younger than Even saw him as. Isak was only seventeen, which wasn’t that much of a difference with him, but he knew a lot could happen in two years. Isak was still at a point where he was trying to figure out who he was and what his place in this world was.  
> \---  
> Or, Even reflects on the here and now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2/5!  
> \---  
> So, I got the request to do a Q and A and I thought tumblr would be a good place to do so.  
> I'm not even sure there if anyone has any questions at all lmao, but I basically follow requests. Really, ask me anything! Whether about the show, the fic, my writing process, really anything is welcome. :----) Anon or not, doesn't matter.
> 
> Questions go here: http://evenogisakk.tumblr.com/ask
> 
> Takk <3

They stayed like that for a while, just wrapped up in each other, but he could feel Isak starting to shiver and so he rolled them over and got them underneath the covers. Isak stayed close to him, staring at him and looking lost in thought. He could so easily tell when Isak was thinking about something, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. Which sucked. He wanted to know everything Isak was thinking, the good and the bad.

Basically, Even just wanted all of Isak. He wanted everything he had to offer. But he had that, right? He had Isak now. Because this had all happened after Isak gave him the choice between Sonja or him and well, Even was here, with him. It had to be clear that this was happening now, that they were a thing now. _There is no going back now._

“You’re beautiful,” Even whispered, making Isak smile and the boy closed his eyes, the smile still lingering. “Mhh, you’re hot,” Isak said in return, sounding amused, as if Even was only joking about how beautiful he was. He wasn’t.

Even brushed Isak’s hair out of his face and watched him settle, his face pressing into the pillow. He looked young then, much younger than Even saw him as. Isak was only seventeen, which wasn’t that much of a difference with him, but he knew a lot could happen in two years. Isak was still at a point where he was trying to figure out who he was and what his place in this world was.

‘Right next to him’, that was what Even thought on that matter. But he understood the way Isak was struggling to come to terms with this all, with them. So he decided not to talk about it right now, to give him a break instead. They had been through enough for them to deserve a break. They could talk about this later. In the morning. He could properly ask Isak to be his boyfriend then.

He watched Isak doze off, the smile he had held slowly disappearing as he fell asleep. He still looked so innocent, despite everything that had just happened, which in turn made him grin. He had a feeling he didn’t know the half of it when it came to how dirty Isak could really get once he felt more comfortable with the idea of being with a guy.

It was hard not to keep touching Isak, no matter if he was asleep, so Even let himself. He admired every lock of hair, every freckle on Isak’s face that he got to see so close up now. He had been here before, but he had left before Isak had woken up. But that had been one big mistake and he absolutely didn’t plan on doing that again.

After a while he sat up, looking around Isak’s room, which he had never really gotten a chance to take in. Their clothes were still all over the floor, Isak’s snapback there too. He smiled at that, remembering how it had been there through a lot of their important moments. Isak wasn’t that neat but then again Even had seen rooms way worse than his.

He chuckled softly, making sure not to wake Isak, and picked up a book that was lingering around. It was an English book, probably for school. The Great Gatsby. Even knew it, because he knew the film. He knew it because it was directed by Baz Luhrmann. It was a good story, one that he actually felt quite close to.

Gatsby had been so irrevocably in love that he had been blind to the truth. The character of his Daisy was one he had dreamt up, one that may have been reality in a past life, but the Daisy he saw then was anything but worthy of his love. She loved herself and her money more than she loved Gatsby. If she ever loved Gatsby at all. And Gatsby had been such a fool to love her.

Just like Even. Although the parallel he saw didn’t have a thing to do with Isak or Sonja or anyone else that he had loved. No, the reason the story had hit so close to home was because Even understood Gatsby. He was scared he would become like him. That he would see himself the way Gatsby saw Daisy. His bipolarity made it hard to realise sometimes if what he was experiencing was reality or imagination. Just like Gatsby hadn’t realised that who he loved was someone imagined, she was not the real Daisy.

Even sat back against the wall, propping the pillow up against it to support his back and he watched Isak for a moment. Things were different now. Now he felt like he was in fact Daisy and Isak was Gatsby. Because Isak saw one side of him while there was a whole other part of him that was. And if he figured out that reality he would hate Even, the same way Gatsby should and probably would hate Daisy if he had come to realise what she was truly like.

Isak only saw the good parts, the same way Gatsby only saw an angel when he looked at Daisy. And knowing that Even was keeping his disorder a secret felt dreadful now. He wanted to tell him, to just straight up say it: I’m not who you think I am. I’m not okay sometimes.

It could ruin everything, though, and he wasn’t willing to risk that. He only just got Isak back. He wasn’t ready to let go again. He wanted to at least feel like they were in a good place when he told him. And it wasn’t as if Even was showing signs of mania at this point in time, so it wasn’t necessary yet. He promised himself that if he realised it was going too far, he would try and tell Isak. He would try.

But the lingering fear that had made him stay away from Isak in the first place returned again. What if he fell so hard for this boy? What if he did and then shit went wrong? Would Isak stay then, or would he go and break Even’s heart? What would it do to him to have his heart broken? Would he even survive depression combined with a broken heart? But he had made a choice. He had realised that he no longer wanted the safety that Sonja offered, he wanted what his heart desired.

And his heart desired Isak. His heart desired the beautiful blond haired, green eyed boy that was currently lying next to him and sleeping peacefully. Even just hoped he wasn’t Isak’s experiment, but that Isak meant this just as much as he did.

Even opened the book and started reading the first page, trying to think of something other than his disorder. He had managed to get Isak to fall for him, for god’s sake, why was he trying to sabotage what he wanted the most? Maybe that was just in his nature.

_If personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures, then there was something gorgeous about Gatsby, some heightened sensitivity to the promises of life, as if he were related to one of those intricate machines that register earthquakes ten thousand miles away. This responsiveness had nothing to do with that flabby impressionability which is dignified under the name of the “creative temperament.”— it was an extraordinary gift for hope, a romantic readiness such as I have never found in any other person and which it is not likely I shall ever find again._

Even snorted at the book. Gatsby was a hopeless romantic, just like Even. It was the whole reason he loved these type of stories. The romance and the drama he could so relate to. He managed to get lost in the story enough to read almost three chapters before he felt Isak shift next to him.

Isak blinked and rubbed his face and he lay facing Even, staring at him in silence as he allowed himself to wake up. “what you doing?” He asked eventually, voice still sleepy and Even smiled as he closed the book, “reading the Great Gatsby.” Isak’s frowned and he groaned, muffling the sound in the pillow slightly, “shit. I still have to do that.”

Even chuckled and put the book away before he pulled the pillow down and lay back so he would be level with Isak again. “We could watch the movie together, that’ll help make the English easier to understand,” He suggested as he watched Isak smile at him.

“Yeah, maybe later though. Right now I just want to kiss you again,” Isak mumbled and he scooted closer to Even, pulling him closer with grabby hands. Even couldn’t hold back a grin of his own, which made the kiss a little clumsy, smiles pressed together, and Isak laughed into it. He felt warm and cosy and Even didn’t want to pull back again.

When they did Isak kept his forehead pressed to Even’s and they lay in silence for a while, nothing but their breathing and kissing and touching interrupting it. Even got to explore the skin he had rushed to touch earlier on his way down Isak’s body, and Isak took a shaky breath, “you’re not going to leave again, are you?”

And those words made Even froze completely. There was a fear in Isak’s voice that Even could pinpoint so easily and, well, it wasn’t like he didn’t understand where it came from. He knew he couldn’t promise Isak he wouldn’t go, because Even wasn’t always the way he was now. He couldn’t be held accountable for everything he said when he was alright. But at the same time he knew he wouldn’t go. He wouldn’t leave unless Isak would make him, so he could promise.

“No, I won’t,” He said, finally relaxing again and he watched Isak’s face change too, like he accepted that answer for now, “okay.” He seemed slightly hesitant, but he did kiss Even again and that settled it. “I’m sorry I ever did,” Even whispered, “it was a mistake.” He felt like he needed to explain himself for that time, but he didn’t know how.

Isak didn’t reply, he shook his head instead and he pushed Even’s hair behind his ear, “don’t. It’s in the past, okay?” Even knew Isak cared about it, and he really wanted to argue and say that Isak shouldn’t just wave it off, but maybe it was best if he didn’t screw it up with words. Their actions had always spoken louder than words anyway, and the night they had just had should say enough.

Even brushed their noses together and swallowed, “I love the great Gatsby. It’s a sad story, but so beautiful. I really understand Gatsby, so if you need any help with it, just ask me,” he took it back to what they had been talking about before things got serious and Isak hummed, “okay,” he whispered, accepting the change of subject.

Even pushed Isak closer, feeling the warmth of Isak’s body after sleep while he was much colder because he had sat up above the covers. Isak didn’t mind though, he curled a little tighter into the embrace and pressed his forehead to Even’s collarbone. And there was peace.


	35. Lørdag 11:11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Gabrielle?” Even clarified, but apparently it wasn’t like Isak didn’t know the song, that wasn’t it. “Are you kidding?” He asked, sounding completely serious as Even started bobbing his head along to the song, so he gave him a puzzled look, “no?”  
> \---  
> Or, The man of your dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw man, I really liked writing this one. This is where Even's mania is starting to filter through, which was really hard to write, but thankfully we have the scene to guide us through this interaction. Hope there were no bad translation mistakes, after all I just copy them from the episodes haha.
> 
> You can still ask me questions for my Q and A. Because I was out today I couldn't put them together, so you can still leave them and I will post them tomorrow!  
> evenogisakk.tumblr.com/ask
> 
> Takk

“Hey,” Even said as he walked into the kitchen around ten o’clock. He was tired of lying awake and doing nothing. One of Isak’s roommates was in the kitchen, looking hungover as he leaned against the counter in nothing but his underwear. He was clearly surprised to see Even there, because he was staring at him from over the glass in shock and then a, “hey?” left his mouth. Even knew he should remember his name, but he really didn’t.

Even smiled and leaned against the doorpost, “ehm. Isak’s still asleep and I was wondering where the bathroom is?” He asked. The guy blinked and set down his glass while he cleared his throat, “ehm, yeah. The bathroom is a little further down the hallway,” he explained and Even smiled, “okay. Thanks.” Eskild. He remembered now, the guy whose name was almost like his own friend’s name.

The shower wasn’t hard to find, it had a tiny doorplate that said ‘bathroom’, but he just didn’t want to risk walking into someone else’s room. He locked the door so no one could disturb and quickly got undressed before stepping into the shower. He decided not to take too long, because for all he knew Isak could wake up any minute now. He had no idea how used Isak was to sleeping in. And Even wanted to surprise him after all.

When he returned to the kitchen, Eskild was no longer there and Even was on his own to find out which food was Isak’s. They had a shelf system, he could figure that out, but there were no names on the shelves in the fridge, so Even had to guess.

Even was making breakfast. It hadn’t been hard to come up with the idea. He hadn’t been able to sleep and he wanted to surprise Isak. Breakfast in bed, how sappy was that? Whatever, he felt happy, he wanted it to show. But the problem was that he didn’t know what Isak liked to have for breakfast. Maybe he skipped breakfast all together. There was only one way to make this successful and that was to make a little bit of everything. Or well, a little bit of everything Even could cook.

He tried to think of all things he knew how to cook. Eggs. Scrambled and omelette, he knew how to make those. And pancakes, he could do those too, those were just eggs, flour and milk. And of course he could always do a cheese toastie, at least he knew Isak liked those, although maybe with less spices than they had used before.

He started with the pancakes, knowing they’d take the longest time to get ready. There was only enough flour for a few small pancakes, but he figured with all the other food he was making it would be fine. While he worked he turned on the radio that stood on the counter and started whistling along to the songs that came on as he opened the milk.

Once the pancakes were done he moved on to the omelette and the scrambled eggs, he could do those at the same time. He cut up some tomatoes, paprika and spring onion he found lying about and put them in a frying pan as he whisked some eggs together.

“Hey again,” He heard behind him and when he looked up he saw Eskild again, this time thankfully wearing some sort of kimono to cover up. He was standing there together with a girl. Noora. He knew Noora, she had come to disturb them during the almost first kiss. She was the one from London, “Hi Even, stayed the night huh?”

“Uh, yeah,” He stated and he cocked an eyebrow, “isn’t that what you do when you hook up with someone?” Eskild’s face was priceless and he watched him share a look with Noora. They couldn’t possibly not know right? They had to know Isak was gay, they _lived_ with him.

“Hooked up? Wow, congratulations,” Eskild laughed and bumped his shoulder against Noora’s. Noora laughed too, mostly because of Eskild’s face, but Even didn’t see because he turned back to the eggs and shook his head, “thanks. So, yeah, I’m making breakfast now. I hope he likes one of these things. Do you know, maybe? I made pancakes already, and- oh do you maybe have some cayenne pepper?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah he’ll like those. Not the omelette though, he’s not that into vegetables,” Eskild told him as he watched Even add half of the eggs to the vegetables and the other half to the second frying pan. Even hummed thoughtfully, “alright, then I hope you’re hungry, because I’m not throwing this away.”

Eskild was protesting immediately, “no, no that’s okay. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe he likes it. You don’t have to make us breakfast too, he’d feel less special.” Even’s eyebrows raised as he turned back around to Eskild, pointing the spatula at him, “no, don’t be stupid,” he ordered and he smiled as he turned back again, “it’s my thank you for letting me use your shower.”

“You used our shower?” Eskild asked and Even looked at him sideways, a little puzzled. Had that not been clear when he had asked where the bathroom was? Or did Eskild think he just had to go to the toilet? “I used your shower,” he laughed. They were being so weird and giddy around him and he didn’t really understand why they were like that.

“Yeah? It’s not-the hair products aren’t mine. Or, like, not all of them,” Eskild started to explain himself and Noora piped in, “no, but you’re welcome to use some.” Even laughed at them as Eskild went on, “feel free to borrow some shampoo.” That’s when Even noticed Isak though, so Eskild’s words faded to the background.

Isak was standing just inside the kitchen, looking like he had just woken up. His hair was ruffled, which made him look so adorable he wanted to kiss him. Isak was frowning at Eskild and Noora at first, but then he looked at Even, who raised his eyebrows as he smiled, “Hi, good morning!”

He dropped the spatula and walked up to Isak, seeing the confusion on his face as Even just went in for a kiss. His hands held Isak’s face, “I made us some breakfast.” He pulled back, but noticed he had left a piece of egg behind on Isak’s cheek, “Oh.” He wiped it away with his thumb and smiled brightly at Isak, “I hope you’re hungry, because I’ve made lots of food.”

He walked back to the stove, pushing the scrambled eggs back and forth in the pan. Isak stayed where he was, apparently still half asleep. He heard Isak’s roommates clear their throat, “yeah, should we get changed? For the…” Noora stumbled and Even looked at Isak, who was blinking at his friends, “for the… should we go change for yoga? Or, yeah.”

“Oh you take- you’re doing yoga?” Even asked, trying to show Isak that he was interested in Isak’s friends and that he wanted to get along with them. He heard Eskild whisper, “we don’t do yoga,” and then Noora sounding disbelieving, “eh, yeah? Yeah! We do.”

Eskild didn’t take long to agree with her, but he didn’t sound convincing, “oh, that kind of yoga. Yes, I’d forgotten, we’re doing yoga now. We’re going to bathing-yoga.” And Even could tell now they were just being polite and finding an excuse to leave them alone. “Bathing yoga?” He asked with a laugh.

“Yeah. At Bislett baths,” Eskild said and Even had to give him credit for keeping up the story, “wow.” “So we have to…” Eskild hummed, followed immediately by Noora, “so we have to leave.” Even caught a glance of Isak’s face, which just looked hilarious. It was as if Isak had woken up here instead of in his bed and he couldn’t make sense of anything that was going on.  

Eskild didn’t make it any better when he started talking again as Noora pulled him along, “but just help yourself to some cayenne pepper from the freezer. Or, I mean, from the cabinet. It’s in the middle of the fridge, or…” he stumbled over his words and he touched Isak’s upper body for a moment as he passed, making Isak’s frown grow, “so, bye. Bye. Oh, sorry. Hi, bye!”

They laughed as they walked off and left him alone with Isak, and Even was still as entertained by his facial expression as he was before.  “Hey, I didn’t know what you liked, so I just- I made everything,” He said and he turned back to the eggs when the song on the radio caught his attention. He knew that song, it was from a movie he had seen in his German class at Bakka. Something with Frauen. “What movie?” He asked, more to himself, so when Isak asked him “movie?” he ignored it.

Frauenharten? No, Frauenheinz? No, no that wasn’t it. Frauenherzen, that was it. Yes, that was the one. “Taste this,” He told Isak while he lifted the spatula with a mouthful worth of scrambled eggs. He watched Isak chew and swallow, “is it any good?’

Isak wiped a left over piece from the corner of his mouth as he hummed, “mhm,” but Even had already turned back. “The secret is a tablespoon of sour cream,” He told Isak as if it was part of his secret recipe. Honestly, he had just used whatever there was in the fridge.

A silence fell over them and Even decided to give Isak a moment to let this settle. He could tell he was being quite overwhelming like this, coming on so strongly, and so he focused on the food as he waited for Isak to say something.

“When I woke up I…” Isak started, sounding unsure of himself so Even didn’t look up yet, let him finish instead, “I thought you’d left.” This made him raise his head. Why would he have left? He had promised him he’d stay, right? Isak had heard that. He pulled a face like he couldn’t believe Isak really thought this still. “Hey,” he walked up to Isak slowly and placed his hands on Isak’s waist, “I was just here cooking. And chatting with your friends.”

If this was anything like the last time, where he did leave, he would have understood, but this wasn’t the same. Even had come running, he wasn’t going to be the one to leave. Isak should know that now.

He let go again to turn back to the stove, not wanting to let the food burn now. Isak was growing quiet again but he didn’t move, not an inch, which made it clear to Even that he wasn’t done talking yet.

“Does Sonja know where you are?” Isak asked him, and Even felt like Isak was just being ridiculous now. He turned his head briefly. Of course he would ask, because they hadn’t discussed this yet. Isak didn’t know yet. “Fuck Sonja, we’re not together anymore,” He argued, but Isak didn’t seem to fall for it.

After another moment of silence, and god Even was starting to hate those, he made a tiny huffing noise and spoke up again, “yeah well the last time you… you said it was over you- you were like hooking up with her two days later. It’s not- it’s not easy for me not to give a fuck about her, Even.”

Even let this sink in. The last time? Hooking up two days later? And oh- oh Isak was referring to their talk in the locker room, where Isak had said those words Even found so hard to let go of. Two days later had been the party where he got back together with Sonja, because he had made the conscious decision to stay away from Isak, because if he were to find out, Isak wouldn’t want him anyway.

But how did Isak know? Isak hadn’t been there. Or had he been? Or had someone else seen and told him? But no one knew Isak and Even had been a thing, right? But he realised now why Isak was being so guarded. He was scared this was the same thing. But it wasn’t. Even’s heart was all-in now, and when he gave himself to something he gave his all. Isak got his all now. And that meant he deserved some form of the truth about that night.

“No, but you’ve got to understand that the thing with Sonja is that she’s in control,” He told Isak, feeling some anger boiling up again. He only realised now he was out of that relationship how toxic it had been. “Sometimes I feel as though she knows me better than I do myself, because everything she says is true,” Even had always felt like his perception had been clouded by his disorder, so whatever Sonja said was true. It wasn’t, she was a liar too, just like everybody else.

“And… That’s what I’m so freaking tired of. I feel as though she can’t feel what I feel, or think for that matter. “ It was as much of an honest answer he could give Isak without explaining why he thought those things, why they were so awfully annoying. He hoped Isak would understand him, though, so he asked him, “agreed?”

He tilted his head to watch Isak nod, “Only you can feel what you feel.” And that was such a beautiful thing of him to say, something Even hoped to remember when things got bad, or when anyone tried to tell him what to feel or what to do with his feelings.

Oh, beautiful Isak, sweet Isak. Even walked up to him, overcome with feelings he couldn’t begin to put into words, but he tried. He tried it for Isak. He let his eyes roam over Isak’s face as the boy swallowed, almost scared of what was to come, but Even loved him so there was no need to be scared.

He pressed their noses together, getting as close as he could before he confessed, “and I haven’t felt anything… quite like this. Ever.” Isak was speechless for another moment, but then he whispered, his voice so soft as if he was scared it would break, “neither have I.”

Even kissed him, relief flooding through his system. Isak understood him, Isak felt the same way, they were still okay. Even still had him.

Their noses stayed together and Even smiled softly, feeling so reassured he could fucking scream at this point. Isak was going in for another kiss, but Even’s mind was no longer on the kiss, it was on the opening sounds of a song he knew way too well.

He straightened himself and Isak’s gaze met his so Even’s smile widened and his eyebrows raised higher, “this song though.” He stood back and turned the volume up a little higher as Isak asked, “huh?”

“Gabrielle?” Even clarified, but apparently it wasn’t like Isak didn’t know the song, that wasn’t it. “Are you kidding?” He asked, sounding completely serious as Even started bobbing his head along to the song, so he gave him a puzzled look, “no?”

Isak looked quite, well, mortified was a good word, and Even moved in closer as he kept bobbing his head along. Isak couldn’t hold a smile, although he tried, and then he was cursing, “Jesus Christ, this is a hashtag. What the fuck!?” He was shaking his head and Even laughed, still not understanding where Isak was going with this, “what is?”

And Isak’s face kept its seriousness for just a second before laughter filtered into his voice, his mouth quirking up to reveal his two-dimpled smile, “When you’ve found the man of your dreams and it turns out he likes Gabrielle.”

Even blinked as the words registered, his heart exploding in his chest, and he pointed a finger at himself as he laughed, “am I the man of your dreams? Or…,” He turned to quickly scan the kitchen, as if Isak could have possibly meant someone else, “is it me you were talking about?” Isak shook his head from side to side as if he was to say he didn’t really mean it, but it was too late now.

“Am I the man of your dreams?” Even asked again and Isak rolled his eyes and started coming up with excuses, “that’s the way the hashtag goes, you know that!” But Even wouldn’t let him go before he admitted it, “no, excuse me, you said I’m the man of your dreams!”

Isak didn’t know what to say to that and so Even pressed their lips together for a moment. He was so in love with this boy it was kind of hard to deal with. “Say it again,” He whispered, their foreheads now touching again, and Isak was pretending like he didn’t know what Even was talking about, “hmm?”

“Say it again,” Even repeated, breaking apart a little further so he could watch Isak’s face. Isak stared at him, unmoving and clearly deciding whether this would entice more joking or if it was okay, but eventually he gave in and he whispered back, the words almost getting lost, but Even caught them, “you’re the man of my dreams.”

Even felt sparks down to his fucking toes and he kissed Isak intently now, which Isak came to understand quickly, because an arm came up to dangle around Even’s neck, keeping him close to him. Even was too much into the song to get into full blown make-out mode though, so he broke away from time to time to sing along, singing the song to Isak.

Although Isak didn’t like the song, he was definitely smiling at the way Even was making a fool of himself. He threw his head against a cupboard and whined, “it’s shit,” sounding overdramatic, but Even got him to move along with him, no matter the awful faces Isak kept pulling. He teased him again, “see, you’re dancing, you are.” Isak tried to deny it, “no?!” but he was smiling and they both knew better than that, “come on, then!”

Eventually though he stopped trying to get him to dance and he just stood there in front of Isak, singing along to the song and kissing him from time to time, until the song really ended and Isak held on to him, unwilling to let go. “Mhh,” Even whined against his lips, “the eggs will burn.”

“Fuck it,” Isak mumbled and he twisted their bodies a little so he could turn off the fire and kiss him again. Even smiled as Isak’s fingers found their way underneath his shirt and he knew Isak probably wasn’t in the mood for breakfast anymore. And Even knew he would enjoy the taste of Isak’s lips more than the taste of even the best scrambled eggs in the world.


	36. Mandag 06:16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!! PART 1 OF A SMUT PIECE!!!  
> \---  
> Isak rolled away from him, sitting himself up, and he told himself not to freak out. This was who he was, he was coming to terms with being gay. There was nothing wrong with him liking doing sexual things with his boyfriend. No one would look at him and go ‘you like sucking dick’. And if they did, well then, maybe they’d be right. Isak wasn’t sure yet, because he hadn’t.  
> \---  
> Or, part 1 of the one that led to the shower sext

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.  
> I need to start this off by apologising for the scene I posted yesterday for it was filled with mistakes. I hope you kind of enjoyed it despite them. I actually got an anxiety attack thanks to them, but forced myself not to change it. If you noticed the mistakes, well, your brain is powerful enough to envision the real deal.  
> Anyway, I'm sorry, and I really hope it's a one time thing lmao because I could really do without the damn anxiety. Posting this fic is difficult enough at times when it comes to my insecurities, which I am now going to shut up aboUT, but I'm mentioning it because once again I am posting a scene that I truly find terrifying to post. By now I've said it a 1000 times I know, but smut really makes me nervous and blushy so. But thankfully I had a lovely beta for this part (thank u nina) and feel tons better about it. Still hope it's not disappointing though!!
> 
> So yeah!! Anyway, there's a link to the Q and A answers at the end of this chapter, and thank you all for sending in your questions :----)
> 
> Bye!

_Note: this scene is my interpretation of what happened in the shower scene they refer to in their sext (see picture). It was written based on 200+ responses of which an overwhelming +-75% chose this particular option. Some of you would prefer it a little less kinky, and some wanted even kinkier shit. I hope I met you in the middle._

\---

Waking up next to Even was probably even better than waking up and finding him in the kitchen, making breakfast for them and having stayed the night. Seeing his boyfriend’s face so serene was something Isak realised he wouldn't be able to see at any other time than when Even was asleep. Even was way too expressive in his face to ever have as much peace in his face as he did now. 

Isak took him in, tried to paint a picture in his mind that he could keep locked away for later. Even's hair was messy and had curled a little thanks to the pillow and his mouth was slack, hanging open slightly, which only showed him how beautiful his lips were.

The way his eyelashes fanned against his cheeks and how he sometimes appeared not to be breathing before Isak could hear him make a sleepy sound that assured him he was alive. Even was so out of his league. He didn’t understand how he had managed to make him fall for him.

He brought up a hand and carded through Even's hair, softly brushing the locks from his forehead. Their golden colour matched his own, but still Even’s looked brighter and shinier. Even stirred for a moment and Isak waited for him to stop moving before he did it again. His hair was soft too, like they were silky threads slipping through his fingers.

Things were finally good between them. Even and Sonja were no longer a thing, Even had come for him when he told him it was now or never, and Isak, well Isak had a boyfriend now. A boyfriend. And one that could literally have anyone he wanted, but he wanted Isak. 

Even had stayed the whole weekend, even on Sunday night when Isak had expected him to go home so he could prepare for school on Monday, but apparently Even didn’t care. Or he did, but he cared about Isak more.

He hadn’t complained though, because Isak loved having him around. They played video games, watched the Great Gatsby and talked for hours on end. Eskild and Noora had come to annoy them too, and Lynn had introduced herself too, but it hadn’t been awkward to have his roommates around. Isak had been so scared they would judge him or demand answers, but they were very chill.

Of course Eskild had known already and Isak had no doubt he had told Noora and Lynn things already, but whether they had known or not, they could have made a big deal of it. So the fact that they hadn’t, it just made Isak much more relaxed about being with Even. Jonas knew, his roommates knew, now maybe he could start telling more people.

Because Even was his now. His boyfriend. Shit, he had been so cute about it too, trying to ask Isak. Except he hadn’t really been trying to ask, he had just forced it on Isak the way he had done so often already. And that’s why it had taken a while for Isak to realise Even had been serious.

_“So,” Even started as they were onto their last lap in the race. Isak was winning and he was damn proud of it, because Even pretty much ruled in any other game. “So, my boyfriend is finally winning,” Even said, now finishing his sentence, and it caught Isak off guard._

_Boyfriend? He watched Even inch closer and he shook off the questions that were on the tip of his tongue, focusing on the game instead. Maybe Even was just playing him so he could win this too. Even wouldn’t let it go though, “right?” he asked, and Isak frowned, “what?”_

_They both turned the last corner, Isak still winning, but Even was catching up quickly. He hated how Even was able to play with his head so much. “you…,” Even paused to bump against Isak’s car, “you’re my boyfriend, right?”_

_Isak’s car came over the finish line first and he threw his arms up in the air before turning to Even. It finally registered that Even hadn’t been joking around when he saw Even’s face. There was a clear question in his expression and he admitted defeat quickly. So this wasn’t about the game, this was a real question._

_“I’m your boyfriend?” Isak asked, which wasn’t really an answer at all. He was just trying to confirm that Even was seriously asking him this, and Even smiled and took Isak’s hand. “Yeah, yeah you’re my boyfriend. Can’t believe my boyfriend sucks at video games,” He grinned and Isak hid his blush by laughing at him, “I suck? You suck. Can’t believe out of all games my boyfriend could lose, he loses a racing game. That’s like, the easiest game to play.”_

Isak smiled at the memory, it was a good one, and he focused on Even again. He didn’t know how long he had been staring, enjoying the way his hand brushed so easily through his _boyfriend_ ’s hair, but he had missed the moment Even had woken up.

"Morning," Even mumbled with his cheek still pressed to the pillow and Isak almost pulled back in shame, but he decided against it. It was his right to touch his boyfriend's hair. Even wouldn't laugh at him for it.

He watched those two icy blue eyes open up for him, his sleepy eyes meeting Isak’s. Even smiled, instantly ruining the serenity Isak had so adored. He adored his smile too though, so it wasn't a bad replacement.

"Why are you awake?" Even asked as he cleared his throat, trying to get the sleep to go, "it's still dark outside." Isak didn't bother checking to see if he was right. "I just couldn't fall asleep anymore," he replied as he pulled back his hand from Even's hair. 

Even smiled brighter and paused for a moment before he sighed and curled closer. He pressed their noses together, waiting for Isak to come in for a kiss, and Isak did. He closed his eyes as he kissed his boyfriend, getting a little lost in it like he always did with Even. It should be illegal to be that perfect. 

Even pushed closer, a hand coming up under Isak's shirt, warm to his own hot skin. He didn't let him go when Isak tried to pull back, instead pulling Isak closer to him, the hand now having moved to his hip. Even kissed him again and it surprised Isak how pliant he was to it, and also how demanding Even was.

Isak had quickly come to realise that Even was usually horny in the morning and today was no exception. Even's kisses got more intentional, as if trying to tell Isak what he wanted and Isak sighed when Even let him go only to kiss his way down to his neck. He closed his eyes and let Even take the lead, thinking about where this could end up, and his skin prickled with every touch.

His boyfriend was humming in his ear, pushing up his hips against Isak's, and Isak knew he was lost. How could he not be? If he thought kissing Even was spectacular, he didn't know what word to use to describe Even's lips on a whole different part of his body. 

Isak let out a breathy gasp, feeling the way Even was half hard against him already and he swore he would blush if he wasn't too damn into it himself. He grinded down his hips, creating friction that made Even bite at his skin. 

Even's hands were hot on him, always dragging him down, closer, controlling. They caressed Isak's skin and pushed his lower back downward to get Isak's hips to meet his again. "Isak," Even gasped, sounding like he was begging, but he wasn’t really, he was only letting Isak know what would inevitably happen. 

Isak closed his eyes and bit down his smile, "we'd be late for school," he argued as he tried to peel Even's hands off his back, but his boyfriend refused to let go. Isak nuzzled his cheekbone and left a kiss there before he whispered, "take a shower with me?"

Isak was sure Even was about to let out a whine and so he sneaked his hand into Even's pants and took him in his hand, stroking once, "shower." It wasn’t often that Isak took over, not the few times they had been like this. But when he used his demanding voice with Even it always worked.

Even gave him this look, this wide eyed gaze, like he couldn't believe Isak was being like this, whatever that meant. He let Isak sit back though, which showed he was satisfied with the promise. 

Isak rolled away from him, sitting himself up, and he told himself not to freak out. This was who he was, he was coming to terms with being gay. There was nothing wrong with him liking doing sexual things with his boyfriend. No one would look at him and go ‘you like sucking dick’. And if they did, well then, maybe they’d be right. Isak wasn’t sure yet, because he hadn’t.

He picked up clothes, however unsexy it was he still lived in an apartment with other people, he couldn’t just walk around naked. Even stared at him from the bed and Isak turned to him, frowned, “don’t take too long.” Even nodded and sat up too, “yeah.”

Isak was actually quite glad he had a moment to himself. It was his moment to think, to find his courage. He was extremely curious as to everything there was to feel, to enjoy. He had even gone as far as to do some research. ‘how to give a blowjob’ on the durex website had been his most frequent visited website ever since Even had gone down on his three days earlier. And well, he had seen enough porn to know a bit about what it was supposed to be like.

Even hadn’t pressured him at all, but Isak wanted to do this. He wanted to be able to make Even feel as good as he had felt. If only he could with his thin stupid lips. He stared at himself in the mirror, thinking about how the next time he looked into it he hoped to be a bit more Isak again. Piece by piece he was finding himself.

He turned on the water and let it warm him up. It hit his face, waking him up quickly too. He heard the bathroom door open and saw Even walk in shamelessly in nothing but his underwear. He locked the door, dropped a ball of clothes on top of Isak’s and then stripped down completely. Isak felt his cheeks heat up, but he blamed the hot water for that.

He turned around, facing the shower door. The heat had already fogged up the glass, but Isak could still clearly see the outline of Even’s body. He swallowed hard when Even opened the door, the fog dissolving enough to make it seem as if Even was slowly appearing in his vision, like some god descending down on earth.

He stepped inside and let his gaze roam over Isak’s body, like it was new, like he had never seen it before. A shiver ran down Isak’s spine. He swallowed again, his heart beating against his ribs. He felt on edge, unsure of how to go about this, but Even would always meet him in the middle.

\---

To be continued! Go [HERE](http://evenogisakk.tumblr.com/post/156276489885/q-and-a) to see the A's to your Q's, or if you want to know what people asked me. 


	37. Mandag 06:16 (post chapter 36)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!! this whole part is smut. Do not read if not your thing!!  
> \---  
> And wasn’t that why people did this anyway? Wasn’t that what made ‘giving’ so pleasurable? The way your partner loses control? Even was already losing it and it was beautiful. He could feel his own desire swirling in his stomach.  
> \---  
> Or, part 2 of the one that led to the shower sext

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE!  
> From now on I'll be posting short teasers to the new chapter sometime during the day. I'll queue it for some random moment, but it is likely most times you'll wake up with the newest teaser. These teasers will be posted on my tumblr: evenogisakk! 
> 
> Also, I am aiming to reach the 50 chapters before taking a break. I can tell I'm reaching a point where the bursts of inspiration are less often and I write less, but I hope to get to 50 before a day goes by where I don't post. And if I can I would like to finish this all on Even's birthday! 
> 
> For now, though, enjoy! <3

They stepped towards each other at the same time, their bodies melting together the second they touched, and Isak wrapped his arms around Even’s waist and kissed him. Even’s hands were on his face, keeping him close as they stepped back underneath the water and Isak had to close his eyes, tasting water whenever they briefly broke apart.

Isak told himself to let go, not to overthink this all. If he did, it would probably suck for both of them. He didn’t want that. He moved a hand down Even’s back, fingers trailing down his spine, and squeezed his ass which made Even let out an appreciative sound as let his face fall into the crook of Isak’s neck.

Isak didn’t stop there though. He pushed Even against the tiles, hearing him gasp and shy away slightly because the tiles were obviously cold. But Isak held his boyfriend’s chin in his hand, keeping him up against the wall and kissing him hard.

Even let him take control, kissing back pliantly without fighting for power. Isak was showing initiative and Even seemed to like it. Isak moved down to other parts he had kissed before. His neck, his collarbones, nothing new there, but then he kept sinking lower.

He left a trail of kisses down Even’s stomach until he sank completely to his knees. His nose pressed to Even’s hipbone and he kept nosing at it until his lips felt lonely and he kissed Even's thigh before they moved back up, sucking on one of Even’s hipbones which helped a shuddery breath escape from Even’s lips. It was an extreme turn on to hear what this all did to his boyfriend.

And wasn’t that why people did this anyway? Wasn’t that what made ‘giving’ so pleasurable? The way your partner loses control? Even was already losing it and it was beautiful. He could feel his own desire swirling in his stomach.

He made a point of gazing up at his boyfriend, meeting his stare and feeling like whatever control he had had over Even had vanished. His face… the way his mouth drooped open, his intent stare as he watched Isak so patiently, the way his chest rose and fell as he took deep breaths. From down on his knees he looked possibly even godlier. All Isak could see were endless planes of smooth skin and muscles, all for him to kiss and caress.

He kept eye contact, leaning forward to kiss below his belly button. Even was fully hard now, his cock pointing upwards to his stomach. Right there, so close to his face, it was kind of a shock to his system. Here he was, sitting on his knees in front of his boyfriend, ready to give him a blowjob. Holy shit.

Isak felt quite odd in that moment, because when he told himself that he wanted to do this, he actually didn’t feel disgust. For the first time since he had first thought of this, he felt no shame. Because this was Even, this amazing guy that was _his_ and wanted him. How could he be ashamed of his own desires?

He kept his eyes on Even’s face for as long as he could, but then he averted his gaze. He took a nervous breath as he looked at Even’s cock, the way it curved up, the veins that were visible, and Isak didn’t feel repulsion. He felt the want, the need to do this.

He started by placing kissing up the shaft and then the head. It was a strange sensation, because although it felt quite similar to kissing other parts of Even’s body, his boyfriend responded very differently to this. Even cursed as he threw back his head, but Isak tried to keep his focus. He tried to remember a bit of what he had read, the tips he needed to make this work, and of course the porn he had seen helped too.

He flattened his tongue and licked up the whole length, slowly moving his gaze back up too so Even could see him do this. Even’s hand lingered above his head briefly, wondering, doubting, but he didn’t tangle it in his hair. At least not yet.

Isak’s biggest fear was actually not that he wouldn’t like it, his biggest fear was choking and making a fool of himself. He knew he was being hesitant, but he didn’t need to rush this. He could take his time building it up, leaving more kisses, licking up and lingering his tongue underneath the crown, which made Even bring out tiny moans. They sounded so dreamy echoing from the walls.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to take all so he covered the base of his shaft with his hand as he took the head in his mouth, sucking experimentally. Even slipped a little against the wall and Isak pulled back, letting his boyfriend settle again, but Even murmured, “n-no.” His voice was raw and sexy and Isak felt proud. He had done that.

He took him in again and swirled his tongue around the head before he went down a little further, seeing how far he could go. “Just- yeah,-“ Even stumbled over his words and Isak hated how out of all times Even could be unclear about what he wanted, he decided now was the time. isak wouldn't accept that. He repeated the motion and his boyfriend whimpered.

Isak could feel Even was straining to stop himself from bucking his hips and he felt glad he wasn’t, because then he’d definitely be choking. He could taste something salty, that wasn’t actually as bad as he had hoped, leaking on his tongue and he flicked his tongue over the slit to taste more of it.

And that made it all real. If he hadn’t realised it before then he had now: he was on his knees for someone, sucking them off the way many girls had tried to do for him. It hadn’t turned him on, not with Emma and not with any other girl before. But now he was in their place and he didn’t feel remotely as uncomfortable and out of place as he had done then.

He was giving a blowjob, his first at that, and so far Even was liking it. Isak started getting into a rhythm, finding something that worked for him and he listened to Even’s erratic breathing as he tried to stay still. Isak hummed in response and the sound made Even take in a sharp breath.

And then a hand was in Isak’s hair and Even couldn’t hold still anymore. His hips bucked and Isak choked, feeling him at the back of his throat. He pulled back and Even was already leaning over, a hand on Isak’s cheek, “sorry, sorry, you just- jeez Isak.” Isak wasn’t mad, it wasn’t a turn off either, because Even didn’t mean harm. In fact, it was only positive that he was able to get Even to lose it this much.

They laughed it off and Isak looked up at his boyfriend, smiled, “let me just explore for a little, okay?” Even nodded, wanting to open his mouth to probably say something about how he hadn’t meant for it to happen, but then Isak was swallowing him down again, this time going as far as he could, and he noticed it was easier now he was doing it himself.

He actually didn’t feel like gagging. It took some time to figure out how to breathe properly, but once he got that it was easier. Isak placed his hands on Even’s thighs, noticing they were trembling, and he slid down slightly against the tiles. He was panting for air, the heat of the shower not helping his irregular breathing and it was beautiful.

Isak did it a few more times, until his jaw was aching, but he didn’t tease much when he pulled back to give it some time to rest. He curled his fingers around his length and as he jerked him off he bit at Even’s hipbone, withdrawing another moan from his lips.

He thought these were all the tricks he had up his sleeve for now, but then he realised that wasn’t really true. Isak wasn’t sure how Even would respond to this though, if he’d like it, because they hadn’t discussed it. But it was worth a shot.

He sat back, used his free hand to nudge Even’s legs further apart, and kept eye contact. Maybe by trying to communicate his idea with his eyes, Even would be able to stop him if he wanted. There was nothing Isak could read though, so he stuck his finger into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it.

Now Even was catching up, it was visible in his face, but he didn’t show any signs of not being into this. In fact, Isak swore his gaze only darkened as he watched Isak lick his finger until it was wet enough. And then he popped it.

\---

**Even’s POV**

Isak’s hair wet from the water, the strands plastered to his forehead. The way the water fell down on him as he sat on his knees. The intense look in his eyes as he met Even’s gaze. He looked breath-taking, so stunning with his eyelashes fanning his cheeks, drops of water rolling down his face every few seconds.

It felt slightly clumsy, definitely like a first time, but that was okay. Even loved it because it was Isak, because Isak, who had been all ‘no homo’ when they first met, was now on his knees for him.

Lost in thought he had missed the moment Isak’s finger popped out of his mouth and his hand cupped his balls for a moment before his finger trailed on further. Even had done this to himself sometimes, but to have someone else do it was different. It was strange to feel a finger probing right _there,_ but he couldn’t deny it was a turn on.

Isak was so careful, so sweet and vulnerable, that Even didn’t dare move. Especially not after choking him, but he couldn’t help it. No matter the clumsiness, this was still a blowjob and Isak was so fucking perfect that he had lost control.

His legs were straining, quivering as he held himself up. He’d so be feeling this later, but screw it. Isak pushed a finger into him as far as he could, but Even could tell he didn’t really know what to do with it. He pulled it back, having it almost slip out, before pushing in again. And at the same time his mouth was back on him. Isak was hollowing his cheeks and Even could feel the roughness of his tongue as he sucked. He whined loudly, busying himself by using a hand to push away Isak’s hair from his forehead. Everything he could not to come too soon.

Isak’s finger pushed back in every time his head bobbed down and Even had to close his eyes and concentrate on his breathing. He felt Isak hum around him again, sending shocks of pleasure through Even’s body, and he was so close now. His breath high up in his chest, short gasps being the only way to inhale. His muscles trembling in exhaustion, but he didn’t want to give in just yet.

Isak’s tongue pressed underneath the crown before it swirled around and flicked the slit again so perfectly and Even was a goner. He looked down as he pulled Isak’s head away, placing a hand over Isak’s and helping him jerk himself off. His boyfriend was staring up in complete wonder, maybe surprised at himself that he had managed to get him this far. Of course, of fucking course he had. And then Isak closed his eyes and kept still and Even wondered…

Although he looked absolutely unmoving, Even could still feel Isak’s finger move inside of him, a second one now pressing alongside the first, and his hand tightened slightly beneath Even’s own and that was all it took to get there. Even held his breath as his upper body collapsed forward and he came, streaks of come hitting Isak’s face, but Isak looked like he had prepared himself for that.

And Even couldn’t believe Isak had just let him do that. Maybe he was still dreaming, but could one really dream about something that felt so good? Could one dream about such intense pleasure? Such beauty? Even swallowed once he came down and Isak opened his eyes again. His eyes were dark, not showing any clear emotions and Even worried for a second.

He wiped at Isak’s cheek, the water cleaning him off already, and Isak got up slowly. His knees clearly hurt from sitting there for so long and he stumbled slightly. Even straightened him, feeling his own thighs were already sore. Worth it. Isak looked a little dazed too, like he was having the same doubts about whether this was real. All Even hoped for was that Isak had liked it, that he hadn’t done this just to please Even, but when he pulled him closer he could feel Isak’s erection press against his stomach so he smiled.

He kissed him, slow and relaxed, tasting himself on Isak’s tongue and Isak fell into him, his hips moving in tiny circles against Even’s. Even smiled into the kiss before he broke apart and he guided Isak back enough to wrap a hand around him, returning the favour.

Isak’s head dropped to his neck, panting hot puffs of air against his skin, and that way Even could hear his soft moans so much clearer. He wrapped an arm around Even, keeping him close, while the other was on his arm as if to hold on. Even kissed Isak’s temple where he could reach it, picking up the pace of his hand, and it didn’t take long before he felt Isak’s hips stutter as he thrust into his grip and there were lips on his neck, leaving wet kisses before Isak came with a shaky moan.

Even thought he would probably never forget the way it sounded, so close to his ear, so perfect.

He trailed a hand down Isak’s back, feeling the clear dip and rise with each vertebrae he touched and Isak stayed close, letting him touch and feel. The shower was still running, which made it much easier to clean up, but it kept them warm too. Even felt like he was having a moment he didn’t want to end. Standing with his boyfriend, feeling so in love it was sickening, standing in each other’s embrace.

Isak laughed breathlessly against the shell of his ear and he cleared his throat, “that was _hot_.” It made Even laugh, turning his head finally so he could see Isak. He was smiling, looking pleased and sated and lovely and Even just had to kiss him.

“We’re probably running late,” He mumbled against Isak’s lips as he pushed them under the water to clean up. Isak hummed in reply, “screw that,” he chuckled, but he broke apart from Even nonetheless.

\---

**Isak’s POV**

Getting dressed was now a whole different experience. He felt different, like he was really a changed person. He kept sneaking glances at Even and he would always smile back at him just as brightly. It wasn’t a bad different.

It felt like something had shifted inside of him, opening up a door to something, his core maybe. All this time before Even that he had wasted on girls, how wrong that had all felt. He had thought maybe it was because he just wasn’t into sex. He had also thought watching gay porn had just been a kink. He had been wrong about so many things, which was why this, this amazing experience with Even, it had changed something in him.

He brushed his hair and looked at himself in the mirror. He could point at where Even’s come had hit his face if someone asked him to, but he didn’t look any different. Inside everything had rearranged, but on the outside he was still the same. The same Isak he had been, and that calmed him down. He didn’t want others to think of him differently, but if you looked at him you probably wouldn’t even notice.

“What are you doing?” Even asked, coming up behind him, now fully dressed too. He hooked his chin over Isak’s shoulder and looked at his face through the mirror. Isak smiled, they looked good together like this. If Even didn’t think of him differently now that was all that mattered. “Nothing,” Isak said, not able to explain himself. “Alright,” Even kissed his neck and pulled back, taking his hand, “come on then. I’m hungry.”

 


	38. Fredag 08:00

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak slowly lowered the covers and saw Eskild was really alone there. “Noora. You live with Noora?” Isak asked as he raised his eyebrows, “Noora I go to school with? Fuck, she can’t know I’m here. She’ll think I slept with you and then she’ll think I’m gay.”  
> \---  
> Or, the morning after the Gay Bar (post chapter 30)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I love you all, really. You're all so cute trying to not make me worry about my writing.  
> I gotta say I'm working on two scenes now and theyre gonna be long so I'm just praying I will write these in time haha.  
> Anyway, don't stop leaving me cute comments and follow my blog (evenogisakk) to get a teaser for the next chapter!!
> 
> Takk <3

When Isak woke up Eskild was in the room with him. The guy was sitting on a chair and typing away on his laptop and for a moment Isak didn't know where he was. This wasn't his room. And who was Eskild again? How did they meet?

He remembered getting drunk at a gay bar and. That was it, that was all he remembered. Fuck, fuck. Did he hook up with Eskild? Oh god, did he really go home with a _guy_? How could he slip up so badly?

He watched Eskild as he ticked away on his laptop, looking engrossed in whatever was on his screen and unaware that Isak was awake. Eskild would not be his type if he were to be gay. Not that he was, but still. What the hell was going on?

"Did you drug me? Fuck," Isak groaned as he sat up. He felt nauseous for a moment as he blinked the dark spots away, but nothing else appeared to be wrong. Nothing felt out of the ordinary. His ass didn't hurt or anything. So maybe he didn’t sleep with Eskild, or at least he didn’t bottom.

Eskild looked up and cocked an eyebrow, which to Isak felt like a ‘really now, bitch?’. God this guy was gay, "ehm, no? Did you lose your memory?" He asked, making a joke of it and Isak frowned, which made Eskild’s smile fade away, "really? You must have been more intoxicated than I realised, no recollection at all or?" 

Isak shook his head and Eskild shut his laptop before he got up, "well that sucks. Now you won't remember the heroic thing I did." Eskild sat down on the bed with him and Isak moved back a little so they wouldn't be as close. It wasn’t because Eskild was gay, really, but because he didn’t freaking know him.

"Do you remember leaving the house and getting to the bar or were you drunk before that?" Eskild asked him then and Isak nodded because at least this he recollected, at least this he could share and explain, "I remember getting there," he said, “it was the only place that would serve me beer.” 

Eskild licked his lips, "alright. You just got to believe me now, okay? I found you there with a dude by your side old enough to be your father.” This was hard to believe. Really? An older man tried hitting on him? Well, he must have been an easy prey if he was drunk.

“He was trying to hit on you and I made sure they banned him. Wish you could remember, because I fucking slayed alright? So there you are and of course you keep telling me you're not gay," Eskild snorted, like he didn't believe that at all, "and the next moment you're rushing to the bathroom because you're not feeling well." 

Eskild paused, his eyes roaming over Isak as if to check he was feeling okay now. He was, he wasn’t going to puke now, if that was what Eskild was worried about. Isak raised his eyes questioningly, as if to ask 'well, what happened next ' and Eskild went on. 

"So I help you get to the bathroom and as you sit there you start rambling about home and how you don't want to go back there and other shit that got me worried. So I offered you shelter. I brought you here and you fell right asleep,” Eskild finished his story.

Isak let it sink for a moment, wondering if this was the truth, but nothing told him he should be suspicious of this. There were no signs he had been raped and there were no signs Eskild was lying to him. Maybe he was just a good person and Isak was reading too much into it.

He rubbed his face and brushed back his hair, "really? Okay, well thanks then?" He frowned, unsure of what to say or do now. "So, do you like want me to go now?" He asked Eskild, whose face changed into an unreadable expression. 

"That might be a problem," Eskild said slowly and Isak felt like that came straight out of a horror movie where someone who had just learnt the truth was about to be killed. Like he knew too much now and he would never be allowed to leave again. He tried to shake the feeling, but it wouldn’t really go.

"Look, I realised that-" Eskild started, but they were interrupted by a knock on the door. Eskild froze and they were quiet for a moment. "Eskild? Are you in there?" A voice came through the door and Isak's eyes widened. He knew that voice. Shit. Fuck. Noora. 

He crawled back under the covers just as Eskild got up off the bed. He was barely hidden in time, the last thing he saw being Eskild as he walked to the door as it opened. "Hi, Noora," Isak heard Eskild say and he stayed wrapped up under the covers, trying not to move. 

"Hi, oh. Glad to see you have him covered up this time. And you're dressed, wow, you’re going places Eskild,” she joked and he could hear Eskild fake a laugh. “Anyway, can I borrow some juice? My milk is spoilt and I don't have anything else right now and I have to leave for school in like ten minutes," Noora requested, which was a simple enough thing to ask. No alarm in her voice at all, so she must not have seen him.

Eskild hummed, “yeah. Yeah sure, that’s okay. Now, bye Noora.” She whined, “what? You don’t like seeing me?” Isak knew she was joking, but he was silently begging her to go already. “No, that’s not it. I’m just- busy,” Eskild replied hastily and Noora chuckled, “I see. Have fun.”

He heard the door close, but he stayed underneath the covers until Eskild told him, “it’s safe.” Isak wasn’t sure Eskild was being honest, but he didn’t hear anyone else in the room. “I locked the door,” Eskild sighed, sounding impatient.

Isak slowly lowered the covers and saw Eskild was really alone there. “Noora. You live with Noora?” Isak asked as he raised his eyebrows, “Noora I go to school with? Fuck, she can’t know I’m here. She’ll think I slept with you and then she’ll think I’m gay.”

Eskild rolled his eyes, “Jesus Isak, why the hell are you so scared of people thinking you’re gay?” Isak turned his head away and shut up. He didn’t want to talk about this with Eskild. He didn’t even know the guy. He was not going to talk about his inner struggles with sexuality, no fucking way. He didn’t even let himself think about that, let alone this guy.

“I assume you haven’t realised yet that we have already met,” Eskild said then, which surprised Isak. They had met before? Really? “Online,” Eskild went on, “thanks to Noora.” This didn’t make sense at all. Online? Maybe someone had a fake profile of him on grindr, that gay version of tinder. How else could they have met online? Was he supposed to remember Eskild? “I don’t- I don’t remember?”

Eskild sighed and brought up a hand through his hair, “there were rumours about you being gay and Noora was talking about it with Eva when I interrupted them. They asked for my opinion, because obviously I am gay and all that, and then I decided to contact you and just ask. As an outsider, maybe you would talk to me,” Eskild rushed through the story, as if he really couldn’t be bothered telling this all.

Isak remembered this quite vaguely. He hadn’t really had a lot of contact with Eskild, but he remembered the new follower and the message he had gotten. Eskild had been pretty straight forward in that conversation, but he had backed off quickly too once Isak had made clear that he wasn’t gay. As if he was going to tell a stranger if he was really gay. Which, to be clear, he wasn’t.

“I remember you now, yeah. I didn’t really pay attention to your pictures back then,” Isak explained, trying to soften the blow of him not remembering. “Is that why you took me in? Because you knew I am friends with Eva and Noora?” Isak asked and Eskild shook his head, “no. She doesn’t know you’re here and she won’t. And not just because you don’t want her to think you’re gay, but also so she won’t ask questions about the reason you’re here. Which I don’t really know much about either, but unless you want to talk about it, you shouldn’t have a reason to.”

Isak swallowed and looked at his hands, “I- alright. I’ll explain,” he waited for Eskild to sit down, folding his legs on the bed and Isak somehow felt very nervous about telling a stranger about this. “My parents are on a break, or like they’re getting divorced, I don’t know. They keep making threats but not doing anything about it. So maybe it’s just a break,” Isak started and he followed the lines on the duvet.

It was hard to think about this all, the memories it brought back. Because Isak felt like he was too young to deal with this stuff. He wasn’t supposed to have to deal with this stuff now. “My mom has mental issues. I don’t know what exactly, my dad didn’t give it a name when he told me about it, but I believe it is like she has multiple personalities or something.” He tried to think of how his father had explained it all.

“That or her moods switch so quickly. She’s always been like that, changing so fast she could become a different person in a matter of minutes,” He laughed, but there was no happiness in it, “so things got tense at home. Dad was at work more, trying to avoid the situation, which meant he left me to take care of her. And whenever things went wrong I was the one to blame.” He swallowed hard, remembered all the harsh words from both his parents. “I couldn’t stay there. It was killing me.”

Eskild tried to reach out, but he dropped his hand on the covers instead of on one of Isak’s, “I-“ he started, but he couldn’t find the words, “I’m sorry.” Isak wished his parents could say those words. He wondered if they ever would. “That’s alright, none of it is your fault,” Isak shrugged and Eskild nodded, “neither is it yours.”

Isak didn’t want to argue about this, he knew it was partly his fault, but Eskild wouldn’t understand him if he tried to explain. “So now what?” Eskild asked then and Isak shrugged once more, “I don’t know. Now I go back with some renewed energy only for them to drain it again, probably.”

Eskild stared at him in silence for a minute and Isak was starting to feel uncomfortable, but then Eskild stated, “no. No, that’s not happening. You’re staying.” Isak frowned and raised one eyebrow, “stay? We just talked about Noora and now you’re telling me I’m staying?” he asked. He couldn’t accept this kindness, it was too much to do so.

“Yes. We have a basement. No one ever gets down there. I’ll get you blankets and a mattress, we have an old one. You’ll have to arrange food and stuff yourself, but I can offer you a place to sleep and when Noora is out, a place to shower and watch some TV. How about that?” Eskild suggested and Isak wanted to hit him or something. How could he be so damn kind to an (almost) stranger.

“No, I can’t accept that. You’d be doing too much for me. I wouldn’t be able to pay rent or anything,” He reasoned but Eskild hushed him, “shut it. It doesn’t sound like you were in a good place with your parents, so screw them and make a better life for yourself. It’s not much here, but at least you’ll be away from them. Trust me, you’ll survive, and I would know.”

Isak wondered if Eskild had really once been in his shoes. If maybe his parents had thrown him out of the house, and he felt bad. He thought it over once more, wondering what it would be like, but the memories of home made it easy to make the final choice. “Alright, thank you so much for doing this. I’ll stay.”


	39. Fredag 01:48 – lørdag 11:48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He tried not to let it show how much he was hurting the day after the text, not to anyone. Not to Eskild, not to his friends, no one. But it was difficult to hide his feelings when he wanted to scream and cry for hours on end. He tortured himself trying to think of things to text Even. He tortured himself more by imagining scenario’s where Even would come running back, telling him he had made a mistake.  
> \---  
> Or, part 1 of Isak's broken heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIME FOR MORE HEARTBREAK!!!   
> So I made a new 'work' where I can put all my extras. One of those extras is the chronological order of this fic. In case you want to reread or for new readers, this is where you can find the chronological order of the scenes, but also a better working title than the chapters have now. So, are you looking to reread a chapter, you can find a list here:
> 
> \--- http://archiveofourown.org/works/9471494/chapters/21427979 ---
> 
> Okay, anyway, I like this part. Also, I want to give a shoutout to who is basically my beta: Nina!!! (levok.tumblr.com) She deserves some recognition, because she really helps me to keep on writing. If there's someone I can discuss my ideas with it's her!   
> Alt er love, girl <3

**Fredag 01:48 – lordag 11:48**

Isak couldn’t fucking sleep. He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t think, he was a downright mess. It was strange to experience this, because he had never been in a situation quite like it. Was it heartbreak? What else could it be? More than anything else, he felt lonelier than ever.

_“Hi, it was nice seeing you as well. I don’t know, but things might have been moved along a little too quickly… I know it’s my fault, but I need time, sorry.”_

He had never thought a text could fuck him up so much. There had been confusion at first, because he didn’t understand what had gone wrong that had made Even change his mind. That day in the locker room Isak had been sure that things were going to be great between them, but something had gone wrong. Something had driven Even away from him, and well, whatever it was, it hurt.

Maybe Even got cold feet or something, or maybe Even wasn’t really into him and Isak was just some sort of experiment that he had dropped now he had won him over. Maybe Even liked toying with his feelings. But that couldn’t be right. That just didn’t feel like Even, at least not the Even he knew. So if something was wrong, it couldn’t be because Even was actively trying to be an asshole.

Once the bewilderment and shock had settled he had thought maybe this was good, maybe Even taking some time to think this through would make it easier for Isak to deal with his own issues. Being with Even had opened doors inside of him he had been scared to open for years and now that they were open it was both exhilarating and at the same time so awfully scary. Isak felt like someone had pressed the fast forward button on his life and he now had to deal with years’ worth of feelings within weeks.

Somehow Even had had the key, the code of the lock, or whatever else it was that had kept Isak’s doors closed so carefully, and now that they were open maybe he wasn’t interesting to him anymore. Or maybe the fact that they were open was what made it difficult in the first place. Because that made it real, that made it serious, and maybe Even wasn’t interested in serious. That was the reason he broke up with Sonja after all.

So maybe Isak was meant to play along to this game, but could he? Would staying with Even be worth that? Isak didn’t know, but he tried to deal with it the best he could. Although, honestly, that wasn’t working out really well.

He was constantly lost in thought, trying to analyse everything that had happened to them for Isak to get to this point. Emma, meeting Even, falling for him, falling harder. Heartbreak. He asked himself what he would do if he got another shot at this. Would he go with Emma or would he do this all over again no matter the pain it had caused him.

And well, Isak was pretty sure he would do it all again. The Isak he had been around Emma had been another lie, another version of himself that he had made up. He couldn’t hold it any longer. At least he’d have the memories of what it was like to kiss a boy for the first time, of feeling good in his own skin. The memories of not hating himself for who he liked, because it was impossible not to love Even.

At the same time that was why it hurt so much. Because Isak had given his all, he had put his trust in Even and had handed over his heart, no questions asked. When Even had asked him to follow, he had followed. And now he was by himself again he didn’t know how to cope with that.

He tried not to let it show how much he was hurting the day after the text, not to anyone. Not to Eskild, not to his friends, no one. But it was difficult to hide his feelings when he wanted to scream and cry for hours on end. He tortured himself trying to think of things to text Even. He tortured himself more by imagining scenario’s where Even would come running back, telling him he had made a mistake. Telling him that he had fallen just as hard.

Isak wished he could have realised while it had been happening that he had been falling for this boy, but it felt like it had happened overnight. As if he had gone to bed by himself and had woken up next to Even, his heart no longer his. If only he had known, he could have stopped it, but now it was too late. It was too late to do anything about it.

So he tried to distract himself that afternoon by doing lots of homework and at night by surrounding himself with his friends, but no matter what he did his thoughts always trailed to that beautiful boy. He tried to listen to his friends talk about girls, but he couldn’t care less about their stories. It was dirty talk, like girls were there to be conquered, and it was nothing like what he had had with Even.

Isak wanted to get drunk so desperately, but he knew if he did then he could start rambling about Even and that would be worse. However, the guys kept talking about fucking girls and different positions and how desperate they were and Isak was starting to get so annoyed with them already.

He considered going home, but Eskild was suspicious and he didn’t feel like talking to him. Not yet anyway. So did he really have a choice? No. The beer was hitting him hard thanks to the sleep deprivation from the night before, but he didn’t stop drinking. It was almost worth getting drunk and possibly slip up and talk about Even. Almost.

Magnus was calling someone then, apparently trying to get them to a party, and maybe that was better. They’d be too busy with girls to really pay attention to him there. But when Magnus revealed it was at Emma’s he quickly lost his interest. He didn’t want to see Emma. He was well aware he had screwed her over badly. He couldn’t choose who his heart fell for though, he just couldn’t.

“No. No, she hates me now,” He told his friends when they begged him to get them in.  This of course made a bunch of questions arise, questions Isak couldn’t give the answer to without there being new and more complicated questions.

They kept begging however, and Isak sighed, “It’s not going to work. It doesn’t matter that I know her. She hates me.” He didn’t want to talk to Emma, he didn’t want to fix things with her just so his friends could get into a party. He really didn’t fucking want to do this, but if he wanted to avoid a talk about the situation he just had to.

And then Mahdi budged in with a comment about family meetings, twisting the dagger in his heart a little further, and Magnus played on his guilt too, but Isak refused to let it get to him. “It’s not going to work.” They didn’t comprehend why he was saying that, why he was being so stern about this, and they continued to make stupid jokes and comments about Emma. Isak was so tired of it already.

He just wanted to fucking sleep and ignore them all, but he wouldn’t be able to sleep and well, Isak knew himself and he knew the peer pressure would get to him. Of course it would, he didn’t want them to hate him too. “Alright, alright. Fucking stop already. I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything.”

The boys whooped at the same time, and Magnus stood up and started thrusting his hips wildly into the air, “Vilde, here I come!” Usually Isak would laugh, but he just didn’t feel like it. All it made him think about was Even and how he’d rather be with him. Maybe Even would be there, at Emma’s party. Isak hoped he wouldn’t be, because that would absolutely make things worse. Or maybe Even would smile at him and apologise. Just maybe.

\---

Or maybe not. Maybe going to that party was the biggest mistake he could have made in his current state. Things had gone even further downhill than he could have imagined. The good thing was that the combination of alcohol and bawling his eyes out had made it possible for him to fall asleep and finally catch up on some lost hours, but when he woke up he felt possibly worse than he had done before.

He had a definite hangover that made him feel sick, wanting to throw up. He shouldn’t have listened to his friends. He should have pushed it more when he had said it wasn’t going to work, because it hadn’t. And in the end no one had gotten into the party and Isak felt like he had had another kick back.

He had hoped that his heart had taken the worst beating already, that it could start to heal, but then Emma had happened, with her harsh words, and Even and Sonja had happened, with their kiss, and things were somehow impossibly worse. There were so many questions running through his head that he tried to drown them out with his pillow over his face.

How did Emma know? Why was Even there with Sonja? Why had Even lied to him? It wasn’t like he needed time, because if he did he would be in between relationships. Even however, was clearly still with Sonja. So screw them, screw them both.

Isak pushed himself up and made his way down the hallway. He passed the kitchen and heard Eskild’s voice, “Isak?” He asked, sounding surprised, but Isak walked on. He locked the bathroom door behind him before Eskild could ask him anything else or force the door open.

He splashed some water in his face and tried to wake himself up. God, he was so angry, but the more he thought about why he was angry, the unhappier he felt. Hot tears were prickling behind his eyes, begging to come out, but Isak refused to cry. He refused to cry over someone who obviously didn’t give a shit.

The reflection in the mirror didn’t help though. He remembered every single thing he had told Even, especially the things he had never talked to with anyone else, but had felt so easy with him. Everything had felt so laid-back that Isak hadn’t really stopped to think about what this all meant for himself. Sure, he had told Eskild that he wasn’t gay just for liking Even, but the attraction he had felt for Even wasn’t exactly new, so that had been a lie.

It wasn’t until Even had returned his interest that he had fully realised that this wasn’t the first time he liked a guy. That the whole thing with Eva hadn’t been jealousy because she was stealing his best friend, but that things were a lot more complicated than that. And he had taken the results of that stupid online test and had believed them because he had been so desperate to believe he was normal. He had been so desperate to believe he wasn’t gay.

Or, not that gay people weren’t normal. Just- he didn’t want to be one of them. He didn’t want others to hear he was into guys and make assumptions about what that made him like as a person. He didn’t want others to hear about him with a guy and judge him, hate him, tell him he would go to hell, tell him it’s not right. He didn’t want to end up alone.

The thought of everyone finding out now, because _someone_ had said something, otherwise Emma wouldn’t know, was frightening. Was he about to lose everyone in his life without even ending up with the guy he had risked it all for? Was karma really that much of a bitch to him?

He couldn’t bear the thought. His headache was pounding. His stomach was twisting. He barely made it in time to get to the toilet before he threw up. The taste of bile in his throat made his headache worsen and his hands tremble as he leaned over the bowl. The burning tears now made their way down his cheeks as he was unable to hold them in any longer.

“Isak? Isak are you okay?” He heard a knock at the door and Isak didn’t answer. He tried to compose himself enough to talk and Eskild asked again, “Isak?”

Isak spit into the toilet and rolled his eyes, “Yes Eskild! I’m just hungover, okay?!” He yelled, trying to keep the fact that he was crying hidden. There was silence on the other side for a while and Isak hoped that Eskild had left, but then he heard shuffling and Eskild hummed as he spoke up, “okay. I’ll leave you some water and aspirin in your room. Please take it, okay?”

Isak hated how caring Eskild was sometimes, like he was a parent. He didn’t need constant surveillance. That was kind of supposed to be the advantage of being away from his parents. Although his parents had never been as caring as Eskild was. He knew he should appreciate it, but right now he felt like fucking shit.

He didn’t answer, knowing either he’d betray himself or he would say something mean and he wanted neither of those options to happen. He just wanted to be left alone. Eskild cleared his throat, as if he was going to say more, but then Isak heard him walk off.

Isak sat back and rested his elbows on his knees, dropping his face in his hands. He closed his eyes and remembered so vividly what had happened. That fucking kiss. Fucking asshole. God, Isak still couldn’t believe it. He had thought Even had been a good one, a keeper, but he had been wrong.

Even was a liar.


	40. Mandag 09:58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Run, just rush to the entrance. It was already a mess, the only way to make it worse was to let it all slip before he was inside. He harshly pushed the door open and hurried inside, only then slowing down so he could quietly made his way to his locker.  
> \---  
> Or, part 2 of Isak's broken heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halla! PLEASE READ
> 
> So a few things:  
> \- My word file is a mess and honestly requests are all over the comment section. Please, if you had a request go here and read this + comment again: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9471494/chapters/21452603
> 
> \- I have made a soundtrack for this fic with songs that I listened to while writing. You can check it out here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9471494/chapters/21452375
> 
> \- Once again, a chronological order of this fic can be found here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9471494/chapters/21427979
> 
> More importantly:  
> I feel like I'm running out of ideas and enough time lately. Feels like this fic is coming to an end... So, unless I really get more ideas, I am aiming to get to 50 chapters before this fic will be over! If I do get ideas I want to continue till Even's birthday, so a bit longer. Just so y'all are prepared :--)

**Mandag 09:58**

On Monday Isak went to school again, but the second he arrived he wanted to do a 180 degree turn and leave again. The schoolyard was crowded and as he stopped to check if he saw his friends, his eyes had found both Emma and Even. The two people he honestly didn’t want to see, right there, in his way. The two people who probably didn’t want to see him either.

He turned around, turning his back to them, and fished his phone out of his pocket. He scrolled through his playlist, needing the music to encourage him to walk on. He needed a song that would make it easier for him to walk with his head held high, to show he wasn’t broken inside although really, he was barely holding himself together. He needed a song to cover up and strengthen the band aids that were keeping the broken shards of his heart in place.

For a moment his finger hovered over NWA, but he scrolled back up a little to his Nas section. Nas was badass and Isak had to pretend to be badass. He tried not to think about how it had been thanks to Even that he knew about Nas, but it was hard not to. At the same time that was what gave him attitude. The anger he felt alongside the burning pain.

He twirled back, turned up the volume and swallowed. If he was listening to music and avoiding everything around him, it would be likely no one would stop him. They wouldn’t have the audacity to stop him, or at least it would be less likely than it would be if he didn’t have his headphones.

 _Escobar Season has returned_  
_It's been a long time, been a long time comin'_  
 _Looks like the death of me now_  
 _But you know, there's no turning back now_  
 _This is what makes me; this is what I am_

The Nas song filled his ears and he almost felt like laughing as the lyrics were so bittersweet. So true for him right now. He watched Emma and remembered her hurtful words. _It’s 2016, Isak. It’s time to get out of the closet._ They weren’t what bothered him anymore, they weren’t the worst aching. They wouldn’t have bothered him in the first place if he had just been with Even. If he could say ‘fuck you, at least I’m happy.’

Even.

Even was talking to his friends, looking extremely gorgeous as always, although he wasn’t wearing anything special or doing anything extraordinary for that matter. Still, the sight of him made his heart ache painfully and he clearly remembered his weekend, the hell he had gone through after he had seen him with Sonja. Even looked like nothing was wrong with him, like he hadn’t felt even a fraction of the heartbreak Isak had. So, whatever. Whatever, he’d get over it.

He’d have to face them sooner or later, and although he’d much rather wait, he had a class he couldn’t skip. So he started walking already, getting it over with. If he kept his eyes on the ground, away from any people at all, he wouldn’t risk making any eye contact. He’d show them he didn’t care about it, no matter the fact that that was a big fat lie.

 _You can hate me now, but I won't stop now_  
_Cause I can't stop now, you can hate me now_  
 _But I won't stop now, cause I can't stop now_  
 _You can hate me now, you can hate me now_

If he could walk one of two ways now, to Emma or to Even, who would he walk to? Who would he choose? His past life; the easy and non-judgemental times where he could joke about girls with his friends and he was ‘normal’, but unhappy? Or his newfound self; the love he felt with Even, and yes, along with that the fear of what others would think of him, but still, a love like he had never felt before.

He didn’t know. Neither choice was realistic at this point. Emma hated him and Even didn’t want him. What was there to choose between?

“Watch where you’re going,” A voice spit out and Isak realised he had walked into someone. He stumbled back, only barely managing to catch himself before he fell. The guy didn’t pause, but he huffed, sounding annoyed, before he walked off.

Isak swallowed and wished the ground could swallow him. How embarrassing. He didn’t turn around to see if Emma or Even were watching, but he swore he could feel eyes on him and he hated it. He fixed his bag, pulling on the straps as he looked down. So far on the whole plan of acting like he wasn’t bothered, like he was cool. He could feel the façade was slipping away so quickly.

He tried to be confident as he started walking again, keeping his head up high, but his shoulders felt like they were slumped. Run, just rush to the entrance. It was already a mess, the only way to make it worse was to let it all slip before he was inside. He harshly pushed the door open and hurried inside, only then slowing down so he could quietly made his way to his locker.

Jonas was there, which brought back other memories. Not about Even, but his friends. Of him shoving Mahdi, of him abandoning his friends. He had been so awful to them that night. He had been awful to them for a while now, and for what reason? A stupid one, a risky one. He didn’t deserve to keep them. Especially not Jonas. He had done so much shit to Jonas.

“Hey,” He said quietly as he walked up to his locker and Jonas looked up briefly before he averted his gaze again, “hey.” Jonas was avoiding him, trying not to look at him at all, and Isak felt guiltier with every passing second that Jonas ignored him.

So he tried again. He turned his body so he could punch in the code to his locker and asked, “what’s up?” He never really looked away for long, hoping Jonas would change his expression and show him he hadn’t fucked up their friendship beyond repair this time. Please, fuck, please tell it’s not too late.

“Neh,” Jonas started and Isak swore he felt his heart drop for a moment. That could be followed by so many things. Neh… I don’t feel like talking. Neh… why do you care. Neh… I’m not going to answer that. It could be anything bad, but Jonas didn’t say any of those things. Not that the real thing was that much better, “not much.”

Isak turned back to his locker, accepting the answer. He tried to busy himself with his locker while he tried to think of what to say next. His locker, though, was fucking with him again. He slammed his fist against it, the way Even had done - fuck he couldn’t stop thinking about him, could he? – and it opened slowly, mockingly.

He watched Jonas again, trying to think of what to say, of how to apologise, but he didn’t know where to start. Maybe he should start at the moment where he had truly gone too far. “Is Mahdi still mad at me?” He asked. A question that didn’t really involve their own friendship, but in a way it did too. And Jonas still didn’t look up, but his voice was softer as he spoke, “no one’s mad at you, man.”

This came as a surprise to him, because he had been sure that no one had spoken in their chat after Friday due to the fact that he had gotten physical with one of them. Mahdi had every reason to be mad, but he wasn’t?

“You sure?” Isak asked, the uncertainty clear in his words. Jonas didn’t sound any different when he replied, “yeah.” He watched Jonas put his books in his bag and then finally, fucking finally, his best friend looked up at him. If only for another moment.

Isak watched him zip up his bag, waiting for more, for some sort of other explanation. And Jonas looked away again as he gave it, “we’re just worried, man.” Jonas said it in such a casual way, but Isak could hear how much he meant it, “we don’t really get what your thing is.”

“My thing?” Isak asked, because it could refer to so many things he had done wrong. The ignoring, the forgetting, the violence, or maybe… Maybe they heard something about him and Even, about their thing?

“Yeah,” Jonas was done with his locker, but he kept it open as a way to avoid eye contact, just like Isak, “you’ve been- acting so strange.” Isak breathed a sigh of relief. Okay, so they didn’t know about Even. That, or Jonas was just not ready to say it out loud.

“Oh, yeah,” He huffed, trying to come up with a good enough reason for Jonas to still understand him but also for him to let it go, “yeah, I’m sorry about that. It’s just- a lot is happening right now. Lately. Family and stuff as well. And I can’t sleep, so- I lose my temper like, so quickly.” He threw his locker shut, “but I’m sorry for that.”

He knew he wasn’t a great liar, but he hoped Jonas would realise that Isak didn’t want to talk about the details. He had always been like that, ever since the start of his problems. Because they had been here before, a year earlier, when things had first gone to shit with Isak’s parents. Isak hadn’t wanted to talk about the specifics then, but Jonas had understood him anyway. But would he now?

Jonas was quiet for a moment and he lifted his hand to close his own locker, “okay.” Isak kept his eyes on him, feeling nervous still about the way Jonas could react. He needed his friend, he just really wanted things to be better already, because he couldn’t deal his broken heart on his own.. “But… let me know, if you want to talk about it.”

Jonas looked at him then and after another second he started walking past Isak, leaving him alone at his locker. And well, Isak felt the slightest spark of hope. He could fix this, he could talk to Mahdi and apologise, and he could always go to Jonas if he needed someone. Maybe he hadn’t lost them, at least not yet. There was no more room for error though.

But what would they do once they heard the rumours about Isak being gay? And what would Jonas say if Isak took him up on that suggestion and wanted to talk about it? Would they leave after that anyway? Should he keep it inside and deal with his broken heart on his own, or should he talk to someone? Maybe he should not talk to his friends, maybe he should talk to someone else entirely. Someone who stood a little further from the whole situation.

No, no he could deal, should deal, with this by himself. His parents weren’t an option, Jonas wasn’t an option. Maybe Eskild was, but Eskild had already done so much for him. So much, and well he had fucked things up with Eskild too. He had fucked things up with everyone who he felt he needed right now. And all of that for a boy who hadn’t been serious about him in the first place.


	41. Tirsdag 02:03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Like in the end,” Noora hummed, “no one is willing to sacrifice anything for love in 2016.” Isak stared ahead. Well, at least she was right about that. Although not completely. No, people were willing to sacrifice things for love, but the one they sacrificed those things for were always blind to the losses their partners were willing to take.  
> \---  
> Or, part 3 of Isak's broken heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have a lot to say.... so just enjoy the chapter!

**Tirsdag 02:03**

This was getting crazy. This was the sixth night he was unable to sleep and it was getting really damn annoying. He had honestly done everything he could possibly do to help himself fall asleep. At least, everything the internet had suggested he could do at home.

He had put his phone away hours earlier so his body would relax. He had even read a boring book instead, but it hadn't worked. He had tried drinking tea, drinking warm milk. By now he had tried every damn home remedy under the sun, but none of them worked either. They helped make him sleepy, but they never managed to make him fall asleep.

He even went as far as meditating before bed, trying to focus on his breathing, but the anxiety came back the second he fell down in bed. The internet suggested staying on his stomach so he could breathe through his abdomen, which was supposed to calm his heart rate, but no. None of it worked.

Isak worried maybe something had turned him into a vampire or something. It was a ridiculous thought, but at least it would explain why on earth he couldn't fall asleep. He felt like he was in a constant state of anxiety, his heart and mind racing at full speed no matter how droopy his eyes were. His body didn't want to settle down, it was stuck in overdrive. That was the only way he could explain what it felt like.

The moments he did fall asleep his subconsciousness decided it was nice to trigger him with memories of what he was constantly aware of during the day too. So no matter awake or asleep, there was no escape from his mind. It felt like living in a constant nightmare where there was no escape from the pain.

Whenever he did fall asleep he went to his personal hell where all the scenarios he had thought up during the day became reality. No matter if those scenarios were about Even leaving him forever or Even returning to him, when he woke up from sleep he only felt more terrible. Because the truth was that he had ended up in a vicious circle. He was stuck in a place of uncertainty and that was worse than knowing if this was definite or not.

He could deal with the pain if he knew what it would lead to. He could deal with this if he knew Even would eventually come to him, or he could deal with the fact that he would never kiss Isak again, but this. This in between. That was what was killing him.

No matter what he was doing, whether he was in class or playing video games or whatever else, he was always aware of his broken heart. Even when he managed to focus on something else than the pain there would always be random moments when he would remember him.  There would always be moments he’d remember Even. Always. 

He had almost dozed off after having twisted and turned for over two hours when he heard a voice outside his door. It was loud as hell and he was wide awake instantly, his heart picking up its beating and his brain going, 'Even?' There was no clear reason why he thought that, because why on earth would Even be there? He couldn’t help it, everything revolved around Even now.

He listened to Noora talk, but there was no one to reply to her. She was on the phone. He fell back and groaned, turning on his side again and trying to cover his head with the duvet. He couldn't breathe that way though, so he sighed and brought it down again. He just hoped she would finish quickly so he could start his process of falling asleep all over again. 

Noora didn't sound like she was planning on stopping though, starting on a story about William, and Isak groaned as he lay there in agony. He wanted to cry and throw a tantrum over this, just because he was so done begging to sleep. Why were things like this? Why was he so depressed about this? This shouldn't affect him so much.

Rage was beginning to boil. This was so fucking unfair. He had to lie there, awake, listening to Noora whine about her shit with William while Even was out there probably sleeping soundlessly without a fucking care in the world. How dare he be so unaffected? How dare he leave Isak such a mess?

“Like in the end,” Noora hummed, “no one is willing to sacrifice anything for love in 2016.” Isak stared ahead. Well, at least she was right about that. Although not completely. No, people were willing to sacrifice things for love, but the one they sacrificed those things for were always blind to the losses their partners were willing to take.

Take Noora going to London because she was in love with William. He was so unappreciative and indifferent to everything Noora had had to give up to go with him. Her friends, her school, everything. She had made a huge sacrifice and William hadn’t thought twice about it. He didn’t seem to care either.

The same could be said about himself. Isak had put his shot at a normal life on the line, exchanging it for love. He had been willing to give up friendships and the last bit of love his parents may still have for him all in exchange for Even’s love. And that wasn’t nothing either. Because his friends were all he had left, and losing them would mean he’d be on his own. Yet he had just put that on the line for Even.

In the end it wasn’t true that no one was willing to sacrifice anything for love. In the end it was true that making sacrifices was an insensible, reckless and unintelligent choice to make. Noora and he had both given their hearts for love, truly giving it their all, only for it to be turned down. It wasn’t their fault they were in this place.

His thoughts were making him tired, lifeless. He didn’t want to hear Noora whine anymore, he didn’t want to think about Even. He just wanted sleep, please, just let him sleep in peace. His anger and desperation had made him get up and he opened the door of his room to find Noora out there on a mattress with her blanket.

She sat up, looking up in surprise, and Isak wondered why the hell she was here. She sounded pretty apologetic when she addressed him, “Did I wake you?” He blinked at her, feeling slightly dizzy because he had gotten up too quickly.

“What are you doing here?” He asked her instead of answering and she looked down the hallway, “no, just uh, Eskild brought a guy home. So I just moved here. The walls are pretty thin in the living room, to put it that way.” Isak felt annoyed, because for fuck’s sake, it wasn’t any different here?

He said as much, “yeah, well the walls aren’t so fucking thick here either, though?!” He knew maybe he was being a little unfair, and if he hadn’t been having the most terrible nights of his life those past few days he wouldn’t have minded as much, but he just wasn’t in the mood for this. “I- I need to sleep. And I can’t sleep when you lie here and… talk a lot of shit.”

Isak was definitely taking it too far now, his exasperation taking over. “It’s 2am! Have some respect!” He could hear the irritation in his own voice, but he couldn’t be bothered to change his behaviour. It felt like he was about to burst, having held in everything for so long, both his anger and his tears.

“Okay…” Noora replied, a little emotionlessly. He couldn’t tell if she was mad at him for being so unkind about the situation or if she understood where it was coming from. Isak watched her face and finally felt the guilt catch up. He swallowed, “yeah. I’m sorry, but…I have to sleep,” he said again, less hostile now.

Noora’s face didn’t really change, her voice didn’t either, “yeah, I get that. I- Of course, I can- I can talk to Eva tomorrow.” He felt like an asshole, but he was glad that she got what he was saying and wasn’t calling him out on his bad manners. “Yeah..” He agreed, softening his tone, “say hi though.”

Noora gave a single nod and whispered her words, “I’ll do that.” He stepped back in order to close his door, but then thought better of it. Noora had been talking about William so she must be upset a little, no matter how strong she made herself appear. Isak knew what that was like, and he had been a shitty friend just now, a selfish friend too. The least he could do was support her in this.

After all he knew what it was like now. He was in the same boat, although Noora didn’t know that. He wished he had someone to tell him what he was about to tell her. But there was no one for him. “And…” He started, “William is an…” he tried to think of what to say that wouldn’t insult him too much, “an idiot if he gives up on the two of you.”

Finally, Noora smiled at him. She didn’t thank him or start her story all over, which he appreciated. “Good night, Isak,” She said instead. Maybe she didn’t believe him, he probably wouldn’t have believed her if he was in her place, but he hoped it helped if only just a fraction. “Good night, Noora.”

\---

**Onsdag 10:05**

Isak honestly felt like he was dreaming as he walked through the hallways of the school, he was that exhausted. It had been seven nights since The Text, yes it deserved capital letters. Seven nights since The Text. Seven nights where he maybe slept two or three hours a night, if he was lucky.

It was difficult to get through the days because he felt so tired, but even though he went home early the day before he hadn’t been able to sleep. He had thought of calling in sick, but he knew nothing would be better if he stayed at home. So he could stay home and think about Even while missing classes and fucking up his presence percentage or he could go to school and hope for some distraction.

Although that wasn’t always a good idea either. Teachers had gotten mad at him a few times, because he had been dozing off or unable to concentrate on the task at handApparently he had fallen asleep during biology, where Sana had woken him up before the teacher could say anything, but he hadn’t been as lucky in his English class.

He swore he was imagining shit too. Sometimes he wasn’t sure what was reality and what wasn’t. Like the way that guy in the cafeteria had sounded _exactly_ like Even, his voice almost the same. That couldn’t have been real, that must have been imagined. It had caught him off guard too. So much that he didn’t really hear much else that had been said to him there as he ordered his cheese toastie.

And then he had seen Even, the real Even, straight after that, and that all felt blurry still. Maybe it hadn’t really happened, maybe it had been another one of his daydreams. Because Even had been kind to him, joking about the toastie and smiling at him, and that couldn’t be right. Not after everything that had happened. He wasn’t supposed to be kind anymore. He was a liar.

Isak had almost given in too, keeping up the conversation although he had tried to be as impassive as he could be at first. But that had proved to be harder than it had seemed. But as he had watched Even’s face, him standing there while he was watching Isak, his mind had cleared up again. He had felt the first band aid inside his chest rip, his previously covered up pain returning. He couldn’t keep patching himself up anymore. He couldn’t keep torturing himself, so he had gotten out of there.

Of course he was dying to know what Even would have said, but no matter what he would have said, it wouldn’t have changed anything. Actions spoke louder than words, and Even’s actions had shown him what was really going on. He could tell Isak anything he wanted, but Isak wouldn’t believe words anymore. He promised himself that.


	42. Torsdag 05:39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The women working behind the counter were talking about some girl who couldn’t hold her pee or something and Isak wished he could tune out. Honestly, he couldn’t pay attention to anything he wanted to really set himself to, but his brain decided this was interesting enough to concentrate on? He didn’t fucking care about the peeing lady.  
> \---  
> Or, part 4 of Isak's broken heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow will be the last part of this scene!  
> And... I still don't know what to write here lmao. I have a very interesting week coming up. And well, the almost end of this fic.. wow! 
> 
> Byeee

**Torsdag 05:39**

After the eighth night of hardly any sleep at all it got too much for him to carry on his own. He started crying while making breakfast and he couldn’t stop. Luckily everyone else had left already, having early classes, and Isak could deal with this by himself.

Or well, he could fail at dealing with this by himself. He wiped at his eyes and took a few shaky breaths. What would Eskild tell him to do? Would he tell him to man up? No, that was ridiculous. Eskild had never in his life made fun of what Isak was feeling, no matter how stupid it had been.

What would Eskild tell him to do then? Ask for help probably. Talk to someone, talk to him about it. Isak couldn’t, he didn’t want to bother anyone with what had happened. They had only been ‘a thing’. So he returned to the thoughts he had had earlier. He could talk to someone who stood a bit further away from the situation and could judge it better.

Maybe the school doctor. She could help him get some sleeping pills or something. That would be totally easy too. His parents wouldn’t get a bill for his personal doctor and no one would have to know. He drank some water to calm himself down and he decided he would go see her today after his classes.

It made him wish he could just move the hands of the clock himself, so he didn’t have to go through everything else first. He already knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on the work he really had to do. He was getting behind now. All the more reason to finally talk about it.

\---

**Torsdag 14:08**

The women working behind the counter were talking about some girl who couldn’t hold her pee or something and Isak wished he could tune out. Honestly, he couldn’t pay attention to anything he wanted to really set himself to, but his brain decided this was interesting enough to concentrate on? He didn’t fucking care about the peeing lady.

He was considering getting up and walking away, to let it be just so he could get out of the strange conversation, but that was when a door opened, “Isak Valtersen?” The school doctor asked. She had two braids, which just made her look childish, well in his opinion then, but he was glad she had come to save him.

Isak followed her inside, hesitating at the door for a moment. “Yes,” The doctor said, already sitting down again. Isak closed the door behind him and she went on, “just take a seat.” Sure, he wasn’t planning to stay standing, he would feel too dizzy if he did. He still tried to be polite though, “thanks.”

A lot of this depended on how polite he was. He knew she wouldn’t even consider the idea of giving him any sleeping pills if he was being an asshole. So he sat down, folded his hands in his lap and tried to think of how to voice his issues. He didn’t know where to start though, which was he opened with some small talk. “You’re- you’re the school doctor?”

She frowned, making a grim face, “Yeah, I mean, not exactly a doctor. Yeah, kinda.” She shook her head from left to right as if she didn’t like the term he had just used. “It said… it said doctor on…” Isak stumbled as he explained why he had used it. She brushed it off, “mhh, well, that sign is from 1962. What can I do for you?”

She tilted her head and pulled another weird face as she waited for Isak to tell her about his issues. He looked down at his hands and cleared his throat, “uhhhm,” he started. Just say it, Isak, just say it. “I’m having trouble sleeping lately.”

The school doctor leaned over and nodded, and that grim face hadn’t changed yet. She kept quiet for a while, as if she was waiting for more, maybe an explanation. He couldn’t give her that though, no not an explanation. So he repeated himself, “yeah, have had a lot of trouble sleeping lately. And it’s starting to affect school and stuff.” He forced himself to look up, to show her he really meant this, that he really needed help.

“That’s shitty,” She replied. Honestly? That’s shitty? That’s all she could say? His mouth hung open and he tried to cover it up, “yeah, uh,” he decided to propose a solution. If she wasn’t going to… “So, I was thinking if I could get some pills, or something. Because… yeah.”

She was probably thinking it was a stupid reason of him to come, if not she would have already told him what they could do for him. If only she knew it was heartbreak and his identity crisis that had caused this, she would probably laugh at him and tell him to go home and get over it. “Even though-“ He played with the loose skin around his nails, “even though my problem isn’t the worst…”

She clicked with her tongue, “sleep deprivation is very serious. You have to think about how many accidents could have been prevented if people hadn’t fallen asleep behind the wheel, for example.” Isak didn’t really understand what that had to do with him, though. “I don’t- I don’t drive a car, though.”

“No, but you’re moving around in traffic,” She reasoned. She had a point there, because the same went for cycling. He could cycle down the street and overlook a car or drive through a red light and end up in hospital or six feet under. “Yeah,” He agreed.

“And that’s one inattentive moment,” She brought up her hand as if to show just how sudden it could be, “and then…Bam!” She balled her hand into a first and made a smashing motion which startled him a little. “You slam into a semi-truck, break your neck and get paralysed from the neck down.” She kept making sounds and motions with her hands and Isak felt so uncomfortable watching her.

He didn’t want to think that far. Fuck, now he was going to worry about getting paralysed. “You’ll go straight into a wheelchair. It happened to a friend of mine, she’s still in that chair” She finished her horror story and Isak wondered if he had made a mistake coming here. His anxiety had gone through the roof already.

“Isak,” She turned back to her computer, “for how long have you had trouble sleeping?” He wondered how bad he should make it. It had been really bad for over a week now, but it wasn’t like things hadn’t been shitty before that. The whole situation with his parents always kept him up, worrying about what to do about it. His inner battle that had to do with Even and his sexuality had added more pressure to it.

So, “it’s been a while, really,” wasn’t actually a lie. “But it’s been worse over the past couple of weeks. Like… last night I slept for maybe… one hour.” The doctor typed things into the computer and hummed thoughtfully, “yeah.”

Her next words made him turn into defence mode instantly, “We’ll refer you to BUP then.” And okay, what the hell was that? What was BUP? It sure sounded like something serious. “What does that mean?” He asked her while she typed on.

“It means that you’ll get to talk to someone who can help sort out some of the thoughts in your head.” What? No, he didn’t need that, he just needed an easy solution, not to make this more complicated than it was. Fuck, he had already stepped out of his comfort zone going here, he couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t even be able to do that. His parents would find out and everything would go to shit.

“No, I’m not doing any of that. No.” He shook his head a little and the doctor hummed again, letting him finish. “No, it’s not like that…” He explained. He wasn’t ill, this wasn’t because of some mental illness, no. He wasn’t depressed or whatever, so he didn’t need this. He only needed sleep, no professional help. “No, I’m not going to do that. Then…I’m completely serious. I’m not doing anything like that.”

She was staring at him now, like he was being completely ridiculous about this. Maybe he was, but he didn’t care. He refused to ever become like his mother. If she didn’t get professional help for her real issues, why would he for something so minor?

The doctor didn’t seem to agree with him though. She folded her hands and stared at him again, stopping her work on the computer. ‘Here goes’ he thought, bracing himself for the speech he was about to get. But he didn’t really get it. “Isak,” She started, and he wanted to roll his eyes so badly. “Do you like other people?”

He frowned and shrugged his shoulders. What was she getting at? “Sure, yeah?” He replied and she nodded in return, “hmm. Because you see…” Oh god, she was using her hands again to show him what she meant and he knew he was going to lose focus. “Every person is an island. And the only bridge across to others is through words.”

She was honestly acting like he was deaf and a ten year old. God, he just wanted to get some pills and leave, leave this all behind. “And as long as we don’t talk to each other, we end up becoming lonely little islands,” She went on, still using her hands, and well, now she was starting to make a little more sense. Just a little though, “that are high on pills. Just like Ibiza, do you get what I’m saying?”

Isak honestly felt like maybe this was some hallucination again, like he had fallen asleep in this office after explaining his problem. “No,” He admitted and she, well, she didn’t seem surprised at that, “No…” He could tell she was trying to think of how to clear things up, “I understand that, because I mixed in a poem by Inger Hagrup. So it didn’t make total sense, but the point is…”

Thank god, she was going to make a point after all. “that you can’t keep isolating yourself. Everything is harder on your own.” Those words hit him harder, making him realise that she was right. He gave a single nod as she went on, “hey. Don’t you have someone you can talk to?” She leaned forward, her face open and questioning.

He looked down at his hands. He did. Jonas had offered to talk to him, he had Eskild too, probably. But he didn’t want to bother them with his issues. He was pathetic and they didn’t have to carry that burden with them. But she was right too, because he couldn’t go on like this, so maybe he should start by sharing something small and see how they would take it.


	43. Fredag 13:59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He swallowed, playing with his plastic fork absentmindedly as he tried to think of what to say. Blurt it out? No, he didn’t have the guts to do that. That’s something Even would have done, but he wasn’t like that. “You know…” he stumbled, and well, no he had no choice but to go on. “You know that thing about me being a little weird lately?”  
> \---  
> Or, part 5 of Isak's broken heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm running out of things to say and do aaaaah I just really want the trailer.  
> I've been torturing myself watching episode 8 and 9 again.  
> Thank you all for the requests on my extra's page. I've seen them all and will update the page with ideas soon. I'm having quite a hectic week so..

**Fredag 13:59**

‘Just do it already. Just talk to him, Isak. It’s nothing special unless you make a big deal out of it. Be cool about it and he’ll be too. Jonas is your best friend, he wouldn’t just cast you aside because you like someone from the same gender. You could always talk yourself out of it, you’ve done that for so long now that it will be okay. It will be okay. It’s best if he hears it from you.’ Those were the thoughts he had before he walked up to Jonas on Friday.

He had thought long and hard about what the doctor had told him the day before and, well, she had been right. If he didn’t want to get professional help he should talk to someone he could trust. Either way, he couldn’t go on this way. So he had made a list of what he saw as advantages and disadvantages to compare both choices.

Talk to Jonas

| 

Talk to BUP  
  
---|---  
  
**Advantages**

\- Best friend

\- Parents won’t find out

\- Won’t analyse what other personal issues I may have

\- It will hopefully fix things between us because it explains my behaviour

| 

**Disadvantages**

\- May laugh at me

\- May not want to be friends anymore

\- May judge me

\- May make me talk to BUP anyway

| 

**Advantages**

\- Won’t lose Jonas or other friends

\- Professionals

\- Will definitely help fix my issues

| 

**Disadvantages**

\- Parents will find out

\- Scared

\- Will analyse what other personal issues I may have

\- Will be judged if anyone finds out I needed help

\- Parents will find out

\- PARENTS WILL FIND OUT  
  
 

Well, it had been pretty clear to him that the disadvantages of talking to BUP were much worse and much riskier than the disadvantages of talking to Jonas. Besides, he realised that because Emma knew about him and Even somehow, she could spill it to others and then everyone would know anyway. He at least wanted to tell Jonas himself.

‘Just do it, before he gets on his bike and leaves’ he told himself. And he did. He walked up to Jonas, his heart beating in his throat, he was that nervous. “Hey,” He said, and he managed to make his voice sound rather relaxed. As if he didn’t feel like he would faint any moment now.

“Hey,” Jonas answered, looking up briefly before fidgeting with his lock again. “Do you have any plans for tonight, or?” He asked, wanting to make sure Jonas would have enough time for him. If he had plans then he’d have to reschedule this all. He had no idea how long he would need to gather the courage to tell him.

“Nah, I don’t really know,” Jonas said, “I was just thinking I’d just go home and watch a movie or something.” Good, that was good. That meant he didn’t have a busy schedule. Isak didn’t want to wait till tonight though. He could talk right now.

He shrugged his shoulders, “okay. What are you doing now, though?” “Now…” Jonas hummed and turned to Isak slowly, “now I was just thinking of going home. What about you?” Isak swallowed and tried to come across as chill, sort of shrugging again. It was hard to look at Jonas, but he still did, “will you join for a kebab? I’ve got money.”

Jonas looked as if he wanted to escape at first, as if this wasn’t Isak asking him, but a total stranger. Maybe that was because so many things had been left unsettled. He hoped to fix that now. His best friend smiled then, his face changing, “yeah. Yeah sure,” he laughed but didn’t look at Isak, “who would say no to kebab?”

Although some part of Isak had hoped Jonas would be busy, giving him an excuse not to talk about it, he did feel relieved. Because once again it became clear that they were in a strange place with their friendship. Isak knew that was his own fault too. He had kept quiet for too long, but now Jonas was giving him a chance to make things right again.

It made him feel just a little less nervous, a bit lighter. “No one,” he smiled just a little. Jonas was giving him another chance to explain himself and Isak wasn’t dumb enough not to take it.

Things were quite normal as they made their way to the shop and then to the park. They talked the way they used to, now sharing stories they had missed out on because things had been so tense between them. Isak had missed this and he wished he would have come to Jonas sooner, because sitting there with him eased the pain in his chest.

Jonas was telling a story about a guy at the party he had been to without Isak. Isak really tried to listen and respond, but he was thinking of a way to start the conversation he wanted to have with Jonas.

Luckily the story of the puking guy was followed by silence which allowed Isak to grow a pear and change the topic. That was if he stopped overthinking and just did it already before Jonas would feel the silence turn awkward. He would start a new story then.

He swallowed, playing with his plastic fork absentmindedly as he tried to think of what to say. Blurt it out? No, he didn’t have the guts to do that. That’s something Even would have done, but he wasn’t like that. “You know…” he stumbled, and well, no he had no choice but to go on. “You know that thing about me being a little weird lately?”

As if Jonas needed clarification. He knew, he knew perfectly well because he had been the one to tell Isak that was the reason why his friends were upset. He took another bite of the kebab, although he wasn’t really hungry. He had to play it cool, like this was nothing, like it was as meaningless as the story about the puking guy.

Jonas hummed in agreement, showing Isak he knew what he meant, and he looked up with an open expression. Isak could feel Jonas was curious and for a second there Isak was sure Jonas wouldn’t, couldn’t, possibly judge him. He licked his lips and swallowed again, averting his gaze. Eye contact was just a bit too intense.

“It’s- it’s because of a person I like,” He admitted. Okay, this was fine. Bit by bit, he could do this bit by bit. Jonas’s eyebrows furrowed a little, but he kept his tone neutral, “that, uh… Emma?” Jonas asked. It made sense to ask about her, because that’s what they all thought. That he was involved with Emma, or had been until he had fucked things up with her.

And this was where things could go one out of two ways, and all Isak could hope for was the best. “No, not Emma.” He wanted to say it, to just tell him everything, but he was scared still so all that came out was, “take a guess.”

“A guess?” Jonas asked and he looked thoughtful for a second before he uttered, “I can’t guess.” He stared at his kebab and Isak wished Jonas could just read it without him having to say it. So he tried again, “try.” Maybe he would realise, maybe he would hint at the rumours about Isak being gay and Isak could just say something like ‘caught me’.

Jonas took another bite and he was clearly trying to think. And when he looked up and asked him, “is it Vilde?” Isak couldn’t believe him. He felt clear shock at the suggestion and he pulled a face, “Vilde?! Who do you think I am? Vilde!?”

“Yeah, I don’t fucking know, what…” Jonas stuttered as an explanation and Isak looked away, “no.” It slowly settled though why Jonas would think that. Because he had been weird about the person he likes and Magnus, well Magnus likes Vilde. So it would make sense for Isak to act strange if he likes a girl that one of his best friends likes too. Maybe Jonas’s next guess would have been Eva for that same reason. But he was so far off.

“Can’t you just tell me?” Jonas asked instead of guessing again and Isak had maybe gained some confidence. If Jonas thought it was Vilde, then maybe a boy wouldn’t be much worse. Maybe Jonas would be relieved there wouldn’t be shit between Magnus and him because of them liking the same person.

“I’ll give you a hint,” He said after taking a few deep breaths. Jonas raised his eyebrows but didn’t look up, which Isak was grateful for, because he feared he would lose his confidence, “a hint?” So screw this, screw hiding.

Maybe he should admire Even for that one quality he had. Although he had broken Isak’s heart, he had always said it like it was. He never talked bullshit. He had straight up shown interest and had straight up said he needed time instead of using some other excuse. So maybe he should stop skirting around it and do the same.

“It’s not a girl,” There, he had said it. Now it was out there. He had come out to his best friend, his first straight friend who knew. He was into a guy, it was true. So, yes, some of the rumours about him were correct. He was still figuring this all out, but they weren’t a lie anymore.

Nothing about Jonas really changed and Isak wondered if maybe he hadn’t heard him, if he was still so caught up in guessing that he hadn’t realised what Isak had just told him. He took another bite of kebab and stared at the ground, humming softly. Isak wanted him to say something so he would know what this meant for them. His heart was almost beating out of his chest, he felt that nervous. Please, god, please don’t let this be a mistake.

It seemed to take forever before Jonas answered, but Isak saw him look up and open his mouth and… “is it me?” His heart literally stopped for a moment and then he laughed. Relief spread through him so quickly he felt dizzy for a moment, “no.” Because this wasn’t a ‘what the fuck’ or ‘you disgust me’ or ‘okay well goodbye then’. It felt like acceptance. “You? No, no no.”

There had been a time when it had been Jonas, but he would never admit to that now. It had been nothing but a crush back then, he had come to realise that when he had met Even. Because what he had felt like when he had had his crush on Jonas had been a thousand, no a million times less intense than things were with Even.

Jonas pulled a slightly insulted face and Isak kept laughing, “what the fuck?” “Yeah, I don’t fucking know, just tell me then,” They laughed together and Jonas went on, “’no, no, no’ What, am I completely unattractive or what?” He asked and Isak couldn’t believe he actually felt a little insulted. His best friend felt insulted that it wasn’t him he liked, what the hell?

“No, not like that, but…” It wasn’t all about physical attraction. Because Jonas was a good looking guy, otherwise he hadn’t been worthy to have a crush on, “no, it’s not you.”

There fell a short silence between them in which Isak couldn’t stop laughing. He couldn’t put into words how reassured he felt now that Jonas wasn’t freaking out or calling him names or anything like that. He was still sitting there, keeping up the conversation. He was a better friend than Isak could ever be to him.

“Is it that…” Jonas spoke before he took another bite of kebab, talking with his mouth full now, “is it that guy from Vilde’s revue group?” Jonas laughed a little when he said Vilde’s name this time and he looked at Isak so Isak nodded, “yeah.”

“What’s his name?” Jonas didn’t shy away now, he was actually showing interest in the boy Isak liked. He hadn’t made any comments whatsoever about the fact that it was a boy, like it didn’t mean shit to him. Isak swore he could cry. If only the boy from Vilde’s revue group hadn’t broken his heart. If only he could sit here and say, ‘he’s my boyfriend’. He couldn’t.

“Even,” He hadn’t said the name in days, but now the truth was out it didn’t hurt as much as he had thought it would. He could get over this, with help from his friends he could move on and come out, step out of the lie he had been living. He realised there was a third choice now. It didn’t have to be Emma or Even, it could be an in between. He could choose himself, his own happiness, too.

“Good… Good looking guy though,” Jonas sounded like he was just playing now. Like he was unsure what to say now to show he would support Isak . “What?” He chuckled. Jonas didn’t have to comment on a guy’s looks to support him. He would be just fine if Isak could just tell him shit without being judged, that was all he needed.

“Yeah? What else am I supposed to say?” Jonas shrugged, obviously feeling shy at this point and Isak felt kind of happy that their friendship still meant enough to Jonas that he wanted to do this right. It was Jonas’s way of letting him know he accepted him. “I don’t even know myself,” He admitted, a warm smile now on his face. They’d figure this out, he was sure of it. He’d have his best friend by his side through this journey of self-discovery.

“But,” Jonas got a little more serious, “what’s the thing between the two of you?” He asked, and just like that Isak’s smile was gone again. He was reminded of the pain, of how much he missed Even, everything. He didn’t want to show how much it hurt though. One step at a time. “Nah,” he shrugged apologetically and he tried to think of how to word it without showing how much it was killing him inside.

“Nah, I’m not actually sure, right now…” He settled for some sort of the truth, “I don’t understand shit, because he’s really a back and forth kind of guy, and…And he has a girlfriend.” He thought that was enough. He didn’t have to tell Jonas he couldn’t sleep thanks to his broken heart. Maybe he would realise that soon enough anyway.

“Oh, I see,” Jonas didn’t tell him that he should give up on him or what other advice he possibly had and Isak felt his mind drift back to everything that had happened. He wondered if Jonas was able to tell how much it hurt him. After all he had been acting strange, especially at and after the party. He should come clean to the boys too and explain everything, soon.

A buzzing phone pulled him out of his thoughts and he put his hand inside his pocket out of habit. “I think it’s mine,” Jonas said just when Isak realised he wasn’t the one vibrating. He felt something else though, next to his phone, and as he pulled his hand back out he saw a piece of paper along with his phone.

He put his phone back and kept the paper in his hand, placing his kebab on his knee so he could unfold it better. It wasn’t easy unfolding it with one hand, but he managed and before he had even turned it upside down he already knew who it was from. Even.

On the left was a picture of Isak by himself, a cheese toastie in his hand, and the caption said: cheese toastie without cardamom. On the right there were two people, Isak and Even, both holding a cheese toastie like they had done weeks earlier. It said ‘at the same time in a different place in the universe’ with the caption: cheese toastie with cardamom.

He felt the anger boiling again as his heart was beating painfully loud in his ears. How dare he keep doing this? How dare he keep ripping off band aids? Didn’t he understand what ‘I need time’ meant? Even had been the one to need time, yet he was the one who kept looking for ways to get in touch with Isak. He had to make up his fucking mind.

“What’s that?” Jonas asked beside him and Isak shook out of it, “it’s from Even.” He stared at the drawing again and part of him felt like crumbling it up into a ball, but he couldn’t. Isak was too weak to do such a thing, too in love still.

“Like, he has got to break up with his girlfriend,” Jonas said and Isak wished it was that easy. It was nice to have Jonas on his side now though. He would have someone to talk to about these things. Jonas could help him get over Even, or he could help him get Even. Right now it seemed like Jonas’s mind was settled on the latter. He didn’t know why that gave him hope, but it did.

Isak smiled, just a tiny smile, but it was there because he could feel it. Yeah, he did. It was time Even made up his mind. It was time to heal his heart whether that would be through love or through letting go, a choice had to be made.


	44. Mandag 16:12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That's not all,” He added, taking a deep breath before ripping the second band aid off, “I mainly broke up with for a different reason though. I broke up with her because I had fallen for someone else. And, well, I- I have a boyfriend now."  
> \---  
> Or, the one where Even talks to his mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halla! 
> 
> About the requests you so kindly keep leaving: I plan to regularly update the extras work, where there will be short scenes that didn't make the +-2000 words cut. So once I finish writing these 50 scenes, a few still need to be written, I will move on to that. So that's that!

"Mom," Even walked into the kitchen where he found his mom was making coffee along with something for lunch. She didn't look up at him after he greeted her, keeping her eyes on what she was making instead, "yes?"

He wanted to talk to her about Isak, about how he broke up with Sonja. She would probably understand and not judge him at all, but still he felt like this was coming out of the closet and somehow that made it difficult. He just didn't know how to word it right, and the way he paused made his mother look up in worry. 

She dropped the knife on the counter and turned around fully. Her voice was hesitant when she asked him, "what is it? Is everything okay?" He knew he was freaking her out a little and she was probably thinking about his bipolar disorder. There had been times when he had tried talking to her when he felt his mania coming. So he nodded and took away her fears, "yeah. No, nothing big. I just, I wanted to talk to you." 

His mother blinked and then smiled a little, clearly relieved it didn’t appear to be something upsetting, "okay. Do you want a sandwich too? Coffee?" She asked him, always staying patient although Even was sure she was dying to find out what was wrong. "Yeah, coffee would be good," he hummed and leaned against the fridge as he waited for her to finish her sandwich and watched her fill two cups of coffee.

"Thank you," he said when she handed him his cup before they made their way to the living room together. Even sat down on the couch and his mother joined him, obviously trying to look more relaxed than she really was and he smiled at her calmly. He knew she would always worry, no matter how badly she tried to hide it.

He watched her lean closer as she pulled up her legs underneath herself. It was best just to get it over with, rip it off like a band aid; quick and painless. "I broke up with Sonja," he told her. He didn’t want to turn around it. He should just state it the way things were, "I couldn't handle that relationship any longer. She was holding me down too much and I didn't have feelings for her anymore, not the way I used to." 

His mother was nodding along to his story, like she understood his reason why, but there was confusion too. He knew she was wondering why he was explaining himself. After all it was his life and his decision what he did with it, she had always made that clear to him. He usually didn’t talk much to her about his relationship issues after all. He had done so when he first started dating Sonja, when he had been younger and still unsure of how dating worked, but not once things had settled.

"That's not all,” He added, taking a deep breath before ripping the second band aid off, “I mainly broke up with for a different reason though. I broke up with her because I had fallen for someone else. And, well, I- I have a boyfriend now."

He held his breath as he watched his mother’s face, checking to see what she was thinking. He was pretty sure she would accept the fact that he was dating a boy, but he had never told her about how he knew he was into guys too. Because he had never had a reason to. This was the first time he was serious about a boy, where it hadn’t been drunk kisses or one night stands.

Her face showed surprise, her eyebrows raised, "really? A boyfriend?" She asked and Even nodded. It could still go any way now, it all depended on what came after the surprise, but her face contorted into a smile. She took one of his hands in between hers, "that's fantastic, Even. I’m really happy for you. I have to admit that I felt like maybe Sonja wasn’t that good for you anymore, but I was scared to tell you that in case you still felt like she was the one for you.”

Somehow Even wasn’t surprised that she had felt like that. He felt like he should have realised Sonja had been changing much earlier. Maybe he should have broken up with her at least a year earlier, but still. If he had done that, would he be here now? Dating Isak?

“Is it that Isak you have told me about?” His mother asked him then, “that boy from kosegruppa?" Of course he had told her about Isak. It had been hard not to, because for a while now Isak had been on his mind every day from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to bed again.

He smiled as she mentioned his name and he gave a single nod, "yeah. Yeah that's him. I really like him, mom. He makes me extremely happy. Like, things are so fresh and new and it’s like… carefree. I love that about us. But…" He trailed off. There was always a but.

She smiled, but it slowly faded as she came to realise what it was that Even was probably worried about. "Does he know what you have to deal with? Did you talk to him about that?" She asked. It was the question he least wanted to think about. It was the reason why he had wanted to talk to her. He shook his head, "no. No, he doesn't. And I'm scared that maybe he will break up with me when he finds out." 

She frowned at that, "break up? why? Has he given you a reason to think that or are you just being insecure about this? I mean, you have been with Sonja for years, maybe you are just feeling unconfident because he will have to get used to the different sides of you," she speculated, of course as a way to try and calm him down. 

Even though, he knew that wasn't the truth. Maybe he was a little uncertain of himself, but he had a reason to be doubtful. "His mother has mental issues and he..." Even had to pause for a moment to swallow the lump in his throat and avoid his mother’s eyes, "he said that he decided his life was better without mentally ill people in it." 

His mother listened carefully and tried not to let anything show. He knew she was watching him intently, trying to read his thoughts and the way those made him feel. Sometimes she’d almost act like a shrink. "Oh, son…” she sounded apologetic, but wouldn’t agree with him still, “maybe he was just nervous you would judge him for his mother. Just like you are scared people will judge you for your own disorder." 

Her words made him question what he knew about the situation. Maybe she was right, maybe that was it. They were both nervous about sharing things about their life. And well, Isak never really talked about the situation with his parents, so it could be true. Right?

Problem was that Even could never stop thinking about that one sentence. It had complicated things from the start, had made Even run away because he was scared it wouldn’t lead anywhere. Like in a maze, it would lead to a dead end where he would realise he was entirely on the wrong side of this huge labyrinth and his chances of escaping had decreased.

He didn’t know Isak well enough to say whether what he had said about mentally ill people was really his opinion or not, so he had just believed the words without thinking twice about them. But now his mother was making a valid point and he felt his hopes grow again. Perhaps now that they were together he could make Isak understand.

But maybe Isak had really had enough of it. It could be the case that the experience he had had with his mother, who he didn’t really talk to, had left such a bad memory that he refused to deal with anything that could lead to the same. If his mom had hurt him badly, emotionally, then it could definitely true that he honestly didn’t want anything to do with other mentally ill people.

"I don’t think that is the truth, not the full truth at least. I think he really doesn’t want anything to do with that," Even voiced his thoughts. No matter if it was because Isak was scared or if didn’t want to deal with the responsibilities, there was a reason he had said those words. A reason other than fear of judgement.

His mother looked a little lost, like she didn’t know what to say or do in order to take care of what her son was struggling with. Things had always been difficult with his disorder and sometimes there just were no easy solutions. Like with his school, where things had escalated so much he had been forced to leave after failing the year. So Even understood why Isak didn’t want to deal with things like that.

"I don’t know what to tell you, honey. You know I hope you always see the good in people. Sonja accepted you the way you were, who knows what Isak will do. It might be best to just talk to him about it, explain everything. People often understand better when they know what they are dealing with," His mother told him as she squeezed his hand. He knew she wanted to help him, always looking at things positively, which had been the exact reason he had wanted to tell her. 

"Yeah, maybe you're right. Not yet though. We only just fixed things, I want to get to know him more before I tell him," He reasoned and his mother nodded, "okay, Even. I'm sure things will be alright. If it is meant to be you will be together, always remember that." 

He knew she only meant well, but that only made him more nervous. Because he wanted this to be meant to be, but he had no control over Isak’s feelings. If only he had. Then they could fix this all and there would never be any issues again.

"Thank you for listening," Even whispered and he smiled at her to show his appreciation. She smiled back before she let go of Even's hand and picked up her coffee. She knew Even was done talking now. He wondered if he was really that easy to read or if it was just his mom who knew him so well.

He pushed himself up and took his coffee with him as he walked back to his bedroom. The scowl he felt on his face slowly turned into a bright smile as he thought about Isak while he sat himself down in the windowsill. He pulled up his leg and looked outside.

There was a couple outside, walking hand in hand and dressed for the weather and Even could easily imagine he was in their shoes. Walking hand in hand with Isak, scarves wrapped around their necks, but no gloves needed because their hands were linked between them. A cup of coffee in the other hand. Not a care in the world, just love, endless love and laughter.

Isak looking pretty with his nose slightly red from the cold, wearing a beanie this time to keep his ears warm. Isak would bump their shoulders and smile his three dimpled smile at Even’s jokes, and Even would corner him in an empty street and kiss his icy lips. He could see it all happening.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pushed his hips up so he could get it out of his pocket. It was Isak, sending another one of his awful jokes, the ones that made Even grin so stupidly. He read it twice, realising that Isak was thinking about him wherever he was right then. It made him warm inside and he texted back a single red heart.

Even dropped his phone next to him and closed his eyes as he held his coffee to his nose, breathing it in and stealing its warmth, whatever was left of it. He had a boyfriend now, a wonderful boyfriend, so maybe things would be okay. Isak was worth the shot, worth the possible heartbreak it could lead to. Absolutely.

 

\---

[Go to the Untold Scenes extras page](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9471494/chapters/21427898)


	45. Tirsdag 13:28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wondered if Even was still asleep, or if he had woken up already. He wondered if he had touched his breakfast at all. He wondered if he was supposed to worry about him again. He wondered an awful lot, which was exactly why he couldn't focus on his classes. By now he had been missing so much content that he would be surprised if he would pass the school year. At first he had had his heartbreak and his sleeping issues, and now he had Even to worry about. He hadn't been a good student in weeks.  
> \---  
> Or, Isak gets help from the squad (the week after Even’s mania)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaah, okay so I've had a way too busy day, and I'm still in the middle of writing the follow up piece to this so there might not be a teaser for the next part until later tomorrow (or if writing is real slow maybe not at all)
> 
> Love you all. Can't believe we're 5 chapters away from the end of this...

**Tuesday 13.12.16 - Day 4 after O Helga Natt**

"And that's how to get to the answer..." the teacher spoke as she wrote more cryptic stuff on the board. Isak blinked away, shaking himself out of the daydream. He had missed half of her explanation of this difficult sum, having dozed off into his memories because he just couldn't be bothered with schoolwork. His mind wasn't on math equations, it was on Even. 

Even had had a few major ups and downs the past few days and Isak was expecting another down soon. The night before he had been quite happy and content, which had been a sign for Isak that things were going too fast and there would definitely be a down that would catch up with him. They had played a video game together after dinner and Even's smile had been radiant, lasting for hours after. Isak was still figuring things out, but he reckoned he was doing _something_ right, otherwise Even wouldn't have stayed for so long.

When he had left that morning Even had still been fast asleep, so he didn't know what state Even would be in today. Maybe he’d still be fine or maybe things would go downhill now. He thought back to how cute his boyfriend had looked that morning when he had left, Even curled up under the covers with nothing but a mop of hair popping out from underneath. Isak had made him breakfast, just a sandwich and some orange juice, and had left it for Even to find. 

He wondered if Even was still asleep, or if he had woken up already. He wondered if he had touched his breakfast at all. He wondered if he was supposed to worry about him again. He wondered an awful lot, which was exactly why he couldn't focus on his classes. By now he had been missing so much content that he would be surprised if he would pass the school year. At first he had had his heartbreak and his sleeping issues, and now he had Even to worry about. He hadn't been a good student in weeks. 

Thankfully his friends had his back and they always handed him their notes and their homework for him to copy without asking for anything in return. They even helped him study in the hours they had off together. Usually they'd fuck around then, just chilling and eating crisps as they talked about partying, but now his friends made sure that in those hours they would dump all their knowledge on Isak so he wouldn't fail his tests. 

Today Mahdi was helping him figure out the mess of numbers he called maths. "Isak, honestly, for how long have you been snoozing?" Mahdi demanded as he tried to explain the basics of the maths issue he had failed to understand the hour before. Isak frowned and shrugged, "I don't know?"

The answer was anything but enlightening and Mahdi huffed and sucked on his lower lip, "we started this subject weeks ago and you still don't get it? Man, my man, I got to tell you… I can't lie. I think you are royally fucked for this test." 

Isak was starting to get anxious and he tapped his pen against his book and licked his lips, "shit, man. Shit, shit, shit. I just, fuck, I can't help it. I try to pay attention, I really do. It’s not just Even, but she’s just- she's just so boring. When she opens her mouth it's like she's singing a lullaby, a real powerful one that knocks you out within seconds."

This made Mahdi laugh at him, and Magnus, who had been stuffing his face with food, hummed in agreement. He swallowed half of his bite before he started talking, "it's okay, Isak, I will never be good at maths either, but I just accepted it and moved on." 

Jonas interfered then, smacking the back of Magnus's head and making Magnus produce an, “ow,” while Jonas put him in his place, "yes, but you haven't missed as many classes and you aren't failing your other courses, you idiot." Isak sighed and dropped his head on his arms, feeling completely hopeless, "thanks you guys, this is definitely motivating me to study." He should just give up already.

Jonas kicked his leg under the table and Isak groaned, "hey!" "For fuck's sake Isak, get a grip on yourself. I know Even is important and all, but he would feel bad about you failing the year because of him. You need to step up your game. There are people out there, like you, who take care of their family next to their schoolwork. I know a guy who has a mom with cancer. He needs to do a lot of shit, but he’s not slacking off. Whenever he has some spare time he studies." Jonas gave a full on speech, sounding slightly pissed off, and Isak got why. He knew what Jonas was getting at, but he had no choice, "it's just not a good time right now." 

The boys went silent, although Jonas clearly wasn’t satisfied with his answer, and Isak sighed and rubbed his face, "he's just… not in a good place. For example, yesterday we went out for kebab, which was nice, but I can tell he's not there yet. His happiness is just too out there, almost as if he’s trying too hard. And he keeps apologising for everything that has happened, like all the time, and almost forcing himself to explain everything although some things he can't really explain anyway." 

Magnus started nodding, "my mom does that too. She does it because she realises that maybe she's hurt me and even if she hasn't, sometimes she does crazy shit and feels the need to apologise for what that version of herself has done." Jonas hummed, adding his own comment to that, "not to mention that Even sure did some shitty things when he was pretty clear still, too. He cheated on Sonja and led you both on for a while." 

Isak kind of wished he hadn’t told his friends the whole story.

He shook his head, wanting to stand up for Even, "I know what you mean and I get it, but I also get why he did those things. Although not all of his actions can be justified, they can be rationalised. I know what Sonja meant to him and why he chose to stay with her for so long. And, well, I know that I wasn't much better. I kissed him while I knew perfectly well that he was dating her and I took him back without any questions asked, because he just meant too much to me." 

The boys had nothing to say to that, they were probably taking it all in and forming their own opinions. That was okay, Isak knew not everyone would agree with him. He sighed again and he tried to change back the subject as he stared at the assignments he had to practice for the test, "I'll just have to accept that I'm going to fuck this one up as well." 

Mahdi was the first to fall back into his previous mood and he punched his arm, making Isak frown angrily, "hey!? What's up with you all… Why are you bullying me?" and Mahdi chuckled, "for your own good. Now come on, try again. I'm not doing this for fun, alright? I really need your dumb ass to understand this."

Isak rolled his eyes, "fine. Okay. No need to be so bossy." He started writing down the steps of the equation a second time and this time he actually managed to get a little further before he was lost once again. Mahdi was patient with him all the way up until Isak started asking stupid questions about step one again and then he made him practice a new one. 

By the time the bell rang he had sort of gotten the hang of it and he felt much better prepared for the test he would have tomorrow. Not like he would ace it, but like he would be alright, like he would survive. He could study some more later that night, once Even was asleep. 

After their last class, Jonas kept him up at their lockers, talking about the skating competition he was thinking about entering. "I don't know if I'm good enough, but the other guys keep telling me to join. I could win a new board which would be awesome, because I really need a new one," Jonas shared his thoughts and Isak nodded as he tried to listen, "yeah, you should just join it, man. I bet you're good enough."

He just wanted to go home already, but he had been a bad friend again and he wanted to make up for that too. Still he couldn’t help but check his phone and he saw he had received one text a few minutes earlier. He must have gotten it while he was walking to his locker with Jonas. It was a text from Noora and as he read it he swallowed and felt the worry back in his stomach. 

"What is it?" Jonas asked, having realised by now what was going on and Isak sighed softly, "it’s Even… he has closed up again. I should be going home." Jonas face fell only slightly, disappointed but understanding at the same time, "well, good that you don't have any classes left to skip," he said.

Isak was glad too, because he sure couldn’t afford skipping much more. He had already made an appointed at the principal’s office to talk about the issues he had gone through, see if they would cut him some slack, but he couldn’t rely on that. He needed his classes to pass the tests and pass the year.

Isak silently typed a reply to Noora before he looked at Jonas, "I’m sorry. But seriously, do it, the competition. Like, YOLO, right? What could you possibly lose?" Isak smiled at his friend and Jonas shook his head at him, "my god Isak, my god. You suck at advice. This is costing you best friend points, but go… go to your boyfriend." 

Isak sent him a thankful smile before he looked at his phone when he felt it buzz again. Noora had sent another text.

He replied once more before he briefly stared at Jonas one last time, "I'll text you tonight. That, or I'll see you tomorrow, it all depends." He waved as he took off and once he walked outside, turning his back to the school, he opened a different chat and sent a message to Sonja.

 


	46. Tirsdag 15:24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His boyfriend stared back up at the ceiling and hummed thoughtfully, “just lie here. But you can talk to me more, I like listening.” Even probably meant small talk, things that had happened at school or something, but Isak figured maybe now was a moment to talk things through with Even. To tell him everything that had been going on in his head. His talk he had had with Eskild on Saturday was still fresh in his head and he remembered how honesty was needed to make this work.  
> \---  
> Or, Isak comes running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS FIC IS NOW 100,000 WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!?!????????!  
> So, the talk with Eskild that I'm mentioning in this part will be uploaded tomorrow. It is basically set before the two chapters I just posted but wasn't finished at that time so it's coming right after haha.  
> Anyway, I hope you like this chapter again :------)  
> (Sorry I'm dying for a skam trailer, honestly so desperate for new stuff)
> 
> ENJOY, it's a long one..

When he got home Noora let him in and she immediately started talking, "I tried talking to him or just sitting with him and I made him lunch, but he didn't eat it. So I decided to text you eventually, because I just didn't know what to do anymore." She looked a little frantic and sounded like she was apologising, although she honestly had no reason to.

Isak hummed in acknowledgement and moved past her, "it's okay. I texted Sonja but she said there's not much to do apart from being with him. So that's what I'll do." Noora nodded and she understood that Isak wasn't going to linger any longer. Even if she didn’t, Isak wasn’t going to stay and explain himself. Not now. He rushed down the hallway, still wearing his shoes and his coat along with his backpack. First he had to see how bad things were, that was top priority.

When he opened his door and saw Even curled up on his bed almost the same way he had when Isak had left him that morning, he felt his heart sink. The breakfast he had made stood left untouched at the side of the bed as well as Noora’s lunch. Even hadn’t eaten. That meant it was indeed bad.

Isak started getting undressed, toeing off his shoes and dropping his backpack at the door before he unzipped his coat. Even didn't move whatsoever and he sighed at that, already feeling slightly nervous about what his reaction would be to Isak's return. Lastly he took off his snapback and dropped it on the floor with his other stuff, honestly not giving a shit about it right now.

He walked up to his bed slowly, not really caring if Even was asleep or not because he would probably wake up anyway once Isak would join him. Isak crawled in bed with him, careful not to lift the covers too much and let the cold in. Even didn't stir, which made him realise that his boyfriend was already awake. 

Isak snuggled closer, pressing himself up against Even's back and he wordlessly wrapped an arm around his waist as he nuzzled the back of his neck. Even turned his face further into the pillow, the only sign he gave Isak to show he was awake. He didn't push Isak away though, which had happened only once before, but was still an option. So this was okay. He had not gone back to the way he had been on Saturday.

"Hey," Isak whispered as he closed his eyes and breathed Even in. He smelled like Even and like sleep, his body warm against his own, and Isak loved it. If only Even were in a happy place right now then he’d be too.

Even made no sound to acknowledge him, which worried Isak slightly. So far he couldn't tell exactly how bad it was, but if Even wasn't talking then it was far from good. Isak swallowed and pressed a kiss to Even's neck, feeling him shiver faintly. "I missed you," Isak whispered, soft as to not break the peace and quiet too much. He felt Even's hand come up to cover the arm Isak had wrapped around him. Okay. Step by step then. 

He kept quiet for a while, leaving kisses from time to time and feeling Even relax against him more and more. Patience, he had to have patience.

"Mahdi gave me shit for not being good at math,” Isak said then, making small talk. “They were all ganging up on me, you should have seen it," he told him. "They were actually hitting me and stuff. And Vilde is back in bossy mode with her kosegruppa ideas. At least she's not dragging the guys into the russ bus planning." He smiled and tried to feel Even's heartbeat as he held him close, "but despite all of that I still missed you."

Even finally produced a sound, a soft hum and his voice cracked as he cleared his throat and whispered, "I missed you too." Isak felt victorious now he had managed to get Even to talk, no matter how soft and how little. He squeezed Even tightly in appreciation and Even let out a soft huff again. Isak wished he could see if he was smiling.

His boyfriend must have read his mind as he turned on his back, looking up at the ceiling with a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. A beauty undefined. He turned his head further, looking at Isak with sleepy eyes and fluffy hair. Isak moved up his hand to brush it through it, untangling the locks, "hi, sleepyhead."

Even raised one eyebrow, unable to stop himself, but he didn't smile any brighter, "hi." Even had missed him as well? God, he couldn’t stop the grin that grew on his face. He kissed Even’s chin and stared at him, “do you want to talk? Want to do anything? Or do you just want to lie down here?” He asked quietly.

His boyfriend stared back up at the ceiling and hummed thoughtfully, “just lie here. But you can talk to me more, I like listening.” Even probably meant small talk, things that had happened at school or something, but Isak figured maybe now was a moment to talk things through with Even. To tell him everything that had been going on in his head. His talk he had had with Eskild on Saturday was still fresh in his head and he remembered how honesty was needed to make this work.

He averted his eyes and settled against Even’s side like he had done so often, “when I first met you, you were so strange and beautiful and mysterious, and I just wanted to know you. You caught my eye instantly, and I couldn’t believe you were actually talking to me.” He shared the first memories he had of Even, how intimidated he had felt that a third year as cool as Even had noticed him, “I mean, I was trying so hard not to flirt when I went home with you and we made those cheese toasties, but you should have seen yourself. Sitting there in the windowsill, smoking weed, the sunlight casting a spell on your face that made it appear golden… your laugh.”

Even wasn’t talking, he was taking it in, listening intently. His hand moved up and down Isak’s back where he could touch, the only sign that he was really listening and hadn’t fallen asleep again. “And, well, you broke my heart,” Isak said, which he knew took them to a whole different mood than they just were. “I wanted you so badly, so whenever you came running back to me I took you right back in, but you did break my heart,” He admitted. He didn’t know if this would do Even any good, but he had been wanting to say it for so long.

He swallowed the painful memories the talk brought back and he closed his eyes to shut them out, “I couldn’t sleep because of you and I couldn’t think. School was a mess because my personal life was a mess. First my parents, then you.. And- and then I- I saw you and Sonja at the party.” He felt like he needed to stress that he understood better now, that things made more sense now, “and I know, okay, I know why you were there with her. I get it, but it hurt. I went off the grid completely, almost fucked up friendships…”

Still his boyfriend wasn’t interfering, he let him finish his story. “But it also made me come out of the closet, because that’s when I told Jonas, and that in turn made me accept myself more. And trust me, I was ready to give you up, but then you lured me in again with another one of your drawings. I just- I was so lost in you, it was hard not to be so damn easy to get. In the end I still failed to resist you.”

He fell silent and Even’s voice was barely a whisper as he spoke up. Isak could hear the pain and the regret as the words fell from his lips, “I’m so sorry, Isak. I know I fucked up, but-“ Isak shook his head and pressed a hand over Even’s mouth, he had seen this coming, “stop saying sorry. I know you’re sorry, you have told me that so often already. This is not about making you feel bad or demanding an apology,” Isak explained, “this is about me opening up to you and telling you about my feelings,” –in the hope you’ll do the same for me one day.

Even took Isak’s hand away from his mouth, but he didn’t do it so he could immediately reply to his words. Instead he kissed Isak’s knuckles before letting his hand go, “okay.” He had expected a lengthy reply with more apologies, but Even had apparently accepted it like that. Whether he truly felt like Isak wasn’t blaming him was a different story, but Isak would get to that.

“Okay,” He repeated as he thought of what to jump to next. He could tell more about his heartbreak, but that would only hurt Even and was not the point of this conversation. He had to admit to his own faults.

“I need to apologise too. I’ve not always done the right thing either,” Isak looked at Even’s face, waiting for his boyfriend to look at him. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted after things went to shit. You-,” he swallowed hard, “you were reaching out to me and I pushed you away.”

He remembered how torn up he had been when Even had sent him those song lyrics. It was so hard to believe he was only playing Isak, but back then he hadn’t yet realised he hadn’t been playing Isak at all. “You have to understand that suddenly so much was dropped on me. Things I had to deal with, to figure out, and well, Sonja’s words didn’t really help make things better.”

This sparked Even’s interest, “Sonja’s words?” he asked. So clearly he didn’t know, of course not, because why would Sonja admit to that? Maybe she had apologised to Isak by now, but Even was a different story. Although, maybe it was only because she hadn’t been able to reach him, Isak didn’t know for sure.

“Yes,” Isak hummed, “I went out looking for you after you left the hotel. I rushed to get dressed, took your clothes and took out on the streets to find you. I went to every McDonalds I knew in the area, but you were nowhere to be found. So I did the only thing I knew could help… I called Sonja.”

Even nodded, like he knew this part. Sonja had probably been the one to meet him at the police station along with his parents. She had caught him after his fall, not Isak, and Isak still felt bad about that. “We met up to discuss strategies, but when she arrived she just got the call that you were safe and at the police station.”

He wondered if he should tell Even everything that had happened, because he felt like it would explain most of his actions that week after Even’s mania. Even had to understand his actions, but he knew it would probably hurt for him to hear what Sonja had said about him.

“When I asked her what the hell was going on she explained that you were manic and basically stated that whatever we had was a lie. That you didn’t love me at all, that it was just like some sort of game or project to you,” it hurt him too. To talk about this, to relive those moments where he had felt everything collapse once again. Back then he had finally started healing the first heartbreak, gluing parts together with every kiss him and Even had shared, but Sonja had used her words to smash it in even tinier pieces.

“She literally said that what we had was, and I quote: it’s just a sick idea he’s gotten right now.” He felt like Even had to know everything so he could form his own opinion of that conversation, of Isak’s behaviour after that night.

“She asked me to stay away and well, I didn’t know shit. I knew she took care of you and I felt like I should just believe her, but mostly I wanted to figure things out,” he hummed, “I did research and tried to make sense of things, but all that did was make me believe I had been part of your mania. I’ve read stories and people do some strange stuff when they’re manic. I just- I decided to believe Sonja.”

Even had been awfully quiet and when Isak pushed himself up slightly so he could see Even’s face he was startled to see tears running down his temples, his lower lip trembling while he bit on it. Isak’s guilt tripled and he sat up quickly, using both hands to wipe the tears away and hold his face, “hey, hey don’t cry. Even, I’m sorry. I’m sorry alright? I should have believed you, but I didn’t know what was going on and what was real and what wasn’t,” he tripped over his own words, feeling his own tears coming up fast.

Even closed his eyes and Isak could hear him take a deep breath, “I understand, Isak, I do. For a while that’s what I wondered myself… if you were my upcoming mania, my newest addiction, but that could not have been true,” Isak was surprised to see a soft smile on Even’s face as he kept his eyes closed, maybe lost in memories like Isak had been, but these were good memories.

“I told you I saw you the first day of school, and I saw you every day after that. It had been going on for so long before I even felt like things were going wrong again,” Even opened his eyes again and stared up at Isak with such an open look that Isak instantly believed him.

“Okay,” he whispered in return. Even was opening up, feeling the same need to set things straight that had made Isak start this conversation in the first place. His boyfriend swallowed visibly and started talking, all with his eyes closed to avoid eye contact, “I wish it had been you that came to pick me up, but I also knew I had lost you. Your words that day in the locker room were a big factor in our story. They were what made me scared of letting Sonja go. They were what made me not tell you what was wrong with me. Because I knew it would make me lose you.”

Isak thought back to that day. He remembered thinking that things were going to be alright from that moment on, that it was a turning point for them. But where Isak had turned right, Even had turned left. He knew what Even was talking about though; the comment about his mother. He could have so easily explained it, if only Even had told him sooner. “I was scared. Scared of my mom and how I didn’t know how to deal with her, and scared you would judge me for her. I realise now what it must have felt like for you.”

Even finally opened his eyes again, meeting Isak’s as he dared to make eye contact, and Isak lingered for a moment before he bent over and softly pressed their lips together. It was a light kiss, brief too, just to let Even know he was okay. Even returned it but didn’t make it any more intense.

When Isak broke away he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He knew it was enough for now. Like Eskild had told him to, Isak had been honest with Even, and Even had been honest with him. Some things made more sense now they had discussed them, and Isak felt like they had grown a little stronger, even though Even looked like the talk had drained him.

“I’m sorry if I pushed too far,” He apologised as he tugged Even into his arms this time instead of the other way around. He held his boyfriend as he curled up into Isak’s embrace silently. “And thank you, thank you for talking to me about this.”

Even pressed his lips to Isak’s collarbone and kept them there until Isak could tell he had fallen asleep again, his hold having loosened, and Isak kissed his head and let him sleep.


	47. Lørdag 12:27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak was glad Eskild was there. He hadn’t realised how badly he needed to talk about this. And Eskild did what he always did. He listened and gave advice. Isak’s guru, the best guru in the world. “Well, I’m sure he doesn’t expect you to fix him. He can only fix himself, but you can support him. Be there for him whenever he needs you, be open about your feelings and thoughts so there’s nothing he can be unsure about. Communication and honesty. That’s what helped me live with linn.”  
> \---  
> Or, Isak the day after he saves Even

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am one chapter away from finishing this fic and I am getting pretty emotional over it. Holy shit, how far we've come.  
> I want to thank you all for your kinds words on the previous chapter. I felt quite anxious about it, because I hoped it would be worthy enough of Evak. It was hard to write them like that, but I'm glad you loved it :----)
> 
> Takk <3

_I felt like we missed out on some Linn in this season. We see Even and Linn together once and Linn says she recognises herself in Even. So if that's true then Isak can definitely learn a thing or two from Eskild, because Eskild seems quite close to Linn. That's how I got to this._  
_Set right before and right after minutt for minutt...._

\---

Isak waited until he was sure Even was asleep. He could feel his heavy breathing and the slow inhale and exhale that made his ribcage move up and down. Even had been trembling for a while and Isak had felt so lost and hurt to see him like that. Things felt slightly better now though. Even was asleep, he was at peace for a while, and Isak allowed himself to cope with this.

Reliving the moment he had realised that Even had needed him wasn’t that nice, because he remembered how fucking scared he had been for his safety. He hadn’t really thought anything strange about the text Even had sent, but then he had noticed the cross in the back of the church and that had made him remember Romeo and Juliet. It had made him remember Even talking about love stories and how one of the lovers had to die to make it an epic love story, and suddenly the text had felt like a goodbye.

And he had come running, of course he had. He had been there to save Even back, to tell him that no matter the fact that Isak didn’t know shit right now, he wanted to be there still. He wanted to learn how to deal with Even’s issues, because Even meant a lot to him and he couldn’t let him be alone. Because he wasn’t alone.

He remembered Even’s tears as he had cried, standing there in Isak’s room with wobbly knees as he tried to keep himself together. The way he had sobbed how sorry he was, as if he had anything to apologise for. The tears had broken his heart and all he had wanted to do was keep him safe.

Even seemed much smaller than he really was, curled up next to Isak. His hair was fanned out on Isak’s pillow, the covers pulled over him. Isak wanted to keep him there forever, away from bad thoughts.

He knew it wasn’t easy to get through to Even now, not when he was in this state, but he had still tried to tell him that really, Isak wasn’t going anywhere. He’d be there in the morning and he’d be there the day after and after, as long as Even would let him. Isak had tried to live without Even in his life a few times now, whether that had been his choice or Even’s, he had tried. And he had failed.

_‘I don’t belong with you. In this universe. I’m not the right Even in this universe.’_ Isak could still hear him say those words. But that was what so wrong, because he did belong with Isak in this universe. Whether he was the right Even or not, he did belong with Isak. And Isak knew Even would maybe never see himself as the ‘right Even’ in this universe, but that didn’t change what Isak believed in. He didn’t want to do this all without him.

He softly trailed a hand down Even’s side and pressed a kiss to his shoulder before he rolled himself away from him as slowly as possible. He took his phone with him and slowly made his way over to the door as quietly as he could. He didn’t want to wake Even now.

Although Even may not have been hungry, Isak was and he needed to use the bathroom. He hadn’t wanted to leave Even alone when he had been awake though, and he didn’t really want to leave him alone now either, but at least Even wouldn’t realise he was gone now.

He went to the bathroom first and then walked back to the kitchen. His phone said it was half past one in the morning. They were still alone in the apartment. Maybe Linn was in her room, but Isak didn’t know for sure and he didn’t feel like checking.

He got a glass of water and found some crackers to take with him for later. Even probably didn’t feel like eating much, so something light would be best for him. He made a sandwich for himself, just because it wouldn’t take long and wouldn’t make a lot of noise to prepare.

Isak ate there in the kitchen and once he was done he refilled his glass and took the two glasses and crackers with him to his room. Even was still asleep, curled up on the mattress, and Isak carefully put down the drinks and food before he crawled back in beside him.

He dozed off after a while, phone in his hands and his nose pressed to Even’s back. It was restless sleep, constant worry making it hard for him to really sink into a deep sleep. If only Even would still be there when he woke up again.

Thankfully the fact that he hadn’t fallen into that state of deep sleep made him wake up once Even turned over to face him and Isak skidded back slightly to accommodate. He propped himself up on his pillow and watched Even’s face. He looked so calm this way and Isak was reminded of previous times where he had watched Even sleep. He hadn’t known half of what he knew now.

Even’s lips were slightly parted, his eyelashes fanned against his cheeks and his hair curling at all sides of his face. Even didn’t have as many birthmarks as Isak had, his skin much smoother than his own. The line of his nose, the curves of his lips… Even was a work of art. And Isak, well Isak had so much time on his hands he took it all in. He even started counting the tiny hairs of his eyebrows.

It had been a while when Even eventually turned over again, rolling half onto the duvet so his back wasn’t fully covered up anymore. Isak watched him settle, waiting for him to stop moving before he tugged on the corner, trying to cover him more. It only helped a little.

Isak closed his eyes again and breathed Even in, feeling love all the way to his toes. He had hope for them. They could figure this out. He wouldn’t try to fix Even, but he’d help him find which piece belonged where so Even could put himself back together.

He snuggled up to Even’s back, being the big spoon, and he felt content like that. Like that was where he belonged. It shouldn’t have been different either. They needed all their ups and downs to get here. They had helped him reach self-acceptance and had made Even trust him enough to take him home and take care of him.

\---

“Isak,” Eskild looked up from his phone when he heard Isak walk by him quietly. Eskild was lying down on the couch, covered in a thin blanket and looking hangover. When Isak looked at his face he could tell Eskild was begging with his eyes, begging for answers.

Eskild put his phone away as Isak sighed and walked up to the couch, “yes?” His roommate raised an eyebrow, “well? Did you guys make up? He’s still here, right? That is a good thing, right?” Isak rolled his eyes, “yes he’s asleep again. I- it’s a long story.” Eskild hummed like that meant nothing to him, like he had all the time in the world. Like he expected Isak to share everything right then and there.

“So did he come to the concert or something?” Eskild asked, trying to get him to open up. Isak shook his head, “no.” “Is he okay?” Eskild asked next and Isak didn’t know whether to answer with yes or no. He felt like they had had a good conversation, like they were a bit better now, but there was still so much left unsaid.

“I don’t know. I think in a bad place right now. He- well I got a text when I was at the concert,” He picked up his phone, found the text and handed it to Eskild. “Ah, that’s kind of romantic though,” Eskild replied with a soft smile and Isak thought he was missing the whole point.

“Eskild,” He told him, “I thought he was going to hurt himself. I ran all the way to school to find him with red eyes, looking lifeless and like he didn’t know what to do with himself. That takes away the romance, doesn’t it?”

“Oh,” Eskild returned Isak’s phone and looked down, “so he’s really not okay then…” Isak wished he could disagree, but he couldn’t. “No, no he’s not okay. And it scares me shitless because I don’t know how to make it better. I just- it’s almost like there are two different versions of him. The one that’s cocky and overly confident and can just make me do things I never thought I would, and the one that’s so unsure of himself, the one that cries and doesn’t believe anything I say, and I feel powerless when he’s like that.”

Isak was glad Eskild was there. He hadn’t realised how badly he needed to talk about this. And Eskild did what he always did. He listened and gave advice. Isak’s guru, the best guru in the world. “Well, I’m sure he doesn’t expect you to fix him. He can only fix himself, but you can support him. Be there for him whenever he needs you, be open about your feelings and thoughts so there’s nothing he can be unsure about. Communication and honesty. That’s what helped me live with linn.”

Of course, Eskild could understand his situation because of Linn. Eskild and Linn were pretty close when you considered the fact that Linn didn’t talk to many people. “At first I tried to fix her. I tried to get her out of her room and make her go out with me, be someone who she just couldn’t be. It only made things worse. She would hide for days without talking to me. And then I was the one that changed.”

Isak could tell Eskild was really serious about this. “I tried to be more like her instead of trying to make her more like me. I would go into her room and open the curtains and sit with her for a cup of tea and some small talk. Then when I’d leave again I would leave the curtains open and she wouldn’t mind. Eventually that was how we met on middle ground.”

Eskild smiled, obviously fond of the memories he had made with her, “she’d come out on her own and play some video games with me. I’d let her initiate things herself or I’d ask her, and together we would always find a way to have fun. Of course Even is slightly different, but in this state he is like Linn. You need to be patient,” Eskild hummed.

Patience, love and trust. An open mind, an open heart. But mostly patience. “You’re right,” Isak answered quietly. Eskild’s story had really helped him see what he could do to make things better. And they weren’t big, mindblowing tricks, they were basic needs. Be patient, meet him in the middle, love him.

“Of course I’m right. I’m always right,” Eskild smiled and squeezed Isak’s shoulder in support. “Oh, one more thing though,” he hummed, “always speak your mind when they get into a negative mind-set. Linn would sometimes tell me to go because she felt like she was dragging me down or that I deserved better than a friend like her. Don’t tell him his thoughts are unjust, that he’s wrong and you’re right, but just speak your mind. Give him your reasons as to why you disagree. Just go ‘alright, you may think so, but this is my opinion…’ that will help much more.”

Isak nodded, trying to remember that. He had to remember that no matter what, actions spoke louder than words. That was their thing. Words were meaningless compared to a kiss, a hug, a hand softly carding through his hair.

“Thank you, guru,” Isak smiled and made a move to get up, “I’d stay, but I don’t want him to wake up without me,” he explained, but Eskild pulled him back down for just another moment.

“Look,” He told Isak, “we’ll be there for you okay? You as in the two of you. You have got our full support. Whatever you need, okay?” Isak nodded and smiled again, “thanks Eskild, you just keep on saving me, don’t you?”

Eskild laughed at him and let him go, “yeah, well, that’s what friends do, isn’t it?” And he was right, of course, but Isak didn’t think he would ever be able to repay Eskild for everything he had done for him.


	48. Lørdag 10:48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe meeting Even's mom wouldn't be such a big deal, maybe he shouldn't be this nervous and this picky about things. When had meeting anyone’s parents ever been difficult? It hadn’t been like that with Jonas, or Magnus or Eva, or anyone else. But he had never been in a serious relationship, never serious enough for him to meet the parents, and somehow that made it different.  
> \---  
> Or, Isak prepares to meet Even's mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished writing.... I finished the 50th chapter. And it feels strange...  
> But don't worry, if you're afraid I will stop writing; I won't.  
> I will just not post daily anymore and/or not such lengthy scenes. These take a lot of time to write and get ready. And where I once had the Christmas break, I don't have as much time anymore as I used to.  
> You can always leave your requests, no matter how small. That's the whole point of the extras work!
> 
> Alt er love <3

Maybe meeting Even's mom wouldn't be such a big deal, maybe he shouldn't be this nervous and this picky about things. When had meeting anyone’s parents ever been difficult? It hadn’t been like that with Jonas, or Magnus or Eva, or anyone else. But he had never been in a serious relationship, never serious enough for him to meet the parents, and somehow that made it different.

This was a relationship. Even’s parents knew Isak had a part of their son’s heart and they would judge him for how he treated that. They would want to know what type of person he was, if he is worthy of their son’s love. He didn’t know how to deal with that, but he had sure seen enough movies to know it was supposed to be awkward. Although he knew those scenes were always exaggerated.

Even had sworn that it would be okay and that Isak was freaking out all for nothing. He had almost given Isak a whole speech about why it would be okay and why his mother would love him. ‘ _It's just lunch Isak, and it's just my mom, not even my parents together so don't worry so much. My mom will love you, I'm sure of it. You’re so charming, that’s how you caught me.’_

It was easy to say for Even, right? He knew what his mother was like and he didn't have to impress anyone. He reminded himself to call his parents and find a moment to introduce Even to them in return. That would serve him right. He wondered if Even would still be as chill if he was the one in his shoes.

Although he was sure Even was probably worried, if only just a little, about whether his mom would really like him. Maybe he'd be scared she would make fun of him in a way mothers always seemed to do. He hated how in films they always embarrassed their kids with albums filled with baby pictures, with awkward childhood stories and everything else. He wouldn’t want his mother to do that, so it would make sense if Even was thinking the same.

_‘So what, hypothetically speaking of course, what if in the worst case, she doesn't like you that much? Which won’t be a possibility I’m sure, but what if? What does it matter? I won't love you any less, it's not like this is a job interview that will determine whether you get to be my boyfriend or not. You already are my boyfriend, and you will stay my boyfriend no matter what happens.’_

Isak took a few deep breaths as he stared at himself in the mirror. He just hated that he didn't know that much about Even's mother. That meant he could easily insult her without realising it. All he knew was that she must be very relaxed about her son and how he makes his own decisions, because why else would you leave your son with a stranger, or well, a sort of stranger, while he was depressed?

Even's parents must trust him to be able to carry the responsibility of taking care of himself. And it must also mean that Even had already told them about Isak, or else they would have probably asked questions as to who their son was staying with. So maybe he should chill out more.

Isak fixed the same lock of hair he had been trying to get into place for nearly ten minutes. Okay, so he was nervous, he could admit that to himself. It was hard to convince himself he was just being stupid about this, when he honestly had no idea if he was or not. Maybe it was very reasonable to feel this way before meeting the family of the guy he was dating. He knew though, or he should know now, that Even wouldn’t love him any less if he made a fool of himself, but it was still important to him not to fuck up, because Even was important to him.

He fixed the collar of his button up shirt, the only neat shirt he had left in his closet. If only Even had warned him earlier, then he would have done laundry. He combined it with his cleanest jeans, hoping they wouldn’t smell, and just hoped for the best. He couldn’t wear the snapback, not if he wanted to look smart, so he took the time to make his hair look good. He briefly remembered the moment where Even had made fun of his hair and how he usually was so vain when it came to his hairdo. And, well, Even could laugh at him again, but today he had a reason be vain.

He brushed his teeth and put on some of Eskild's perfume, because he actually didn’t have any himself. He had never really had any reason to dress up and look good, but he had a boyfriend now. Maybe he should go and buy some for himself, go into town with Even and ask him which he likes. It could be a good tactic to get Even to hide against his neck more often.

Isak shook his head to get those thoughts out. He had to focus now, because he was already behind on his schedule. He had taken too much time getting ready, his hair taking up most time of course, so he had to rush to put on his shoes and he rummaged through his school bag to find his wallet before he left his room and rushed down the hallway.

Eskild stared at him from his spot on the couch, raising one eyebrow as he saw Isak hurry as he walked around to fetch his stuff. "Why on earth are you looking like this after a night like that?" His roommate asked, sounding amused and amazed. Isak usually didn’t feel like doing anything on a Saturday.

Eskild lay flopped down on the couch, like he didn’t feel like moving at all, and Isak shrugged, "I'm meeting my family in law.” This made Eskild sit up, "really? You're meeting Even's parents? I was wondering why he left this morning. I mean, I know you two stayed in last night and you were definitely not loud at all, like, I did not hear you have sex through the thin walls. No, not at all. But anyway, I thought things were good with you two and then he left so early and I worried maybe something was wrong."

Isak hummed and rolled his eyes, "hey, I can’t help that Even is such a good lay. Payback for all those times we had to listen to you. And yeah, things are still good. He just wanted to go home and prepare for my arrival. He said he had to leave me to get ready by myself too so we wouldn’t start making out again and be late for lunch.”

Eskild huffed, sounding almost disgusted, but then he slowly grinned, "are you nervous? Oh you so are! I can tell, you look so fancy. Do you need any guru advice? I can tell you what _not_ to do. I once met the parents and told them how good their son was in bed," Eskild was rambling and Isak rolled his eyes, feeling the anxiety rise, "no, no thanks. I’m good. I’m sure those stories will make me fuck up, because they’ll be on my mind later. No, I'm going to leave now, I’m already running quite late. But… maybe you can help me with one thing… Flowers or chocolates?" 

Eskild hummed thoughtfully and tapped his fingers against his chin before he smiled, "flowers. You wouldn’t want to risk she's like, on a diet or something. That would suck." Isak nodded, feeling like that was a valid point, "alright. Now, wish me luck?" He laughed a little at the fact that he was actually asking for luck, but Eskild gave him a thumbs up and winked. It actually helped him calm down some and he smiled once again before he turned to get his jacket. 

He cycled as fast as he could without going so fast that he would end up with sweat marks all over his shirt. There was so much to think about, he couldn’t believe how stressful this was. He stopped by the florist and nearly had a heart attack when he saw how expensive flowers actually were, but he wanted to make a good first impression and so it would be worth the money. He could ask his parents for some more. They would understand.

There were a lot of Christmas bouquets that he could choose from, which made picking one that was perfect for this occasion a lot harder. He took almost five minutes to finally make a choice, hating how much time he was wasting, before he settled for regular flowers instead of the Christmas ones, because he didn't know if that would be appropriate for now. Fuck he was such a newbie to this all.

He chose a colourful bouquet, one with red roses and orange and pink gerberas along with some light green stuff and tiny white gypsophila. He found that they instantly helped him feel better prepared, because at least he knew how to open the conversation now.

He placed the flowers on top of his steering wheel, which complicated cycling a little, but he didn't want to risk them getting between the spokes of his wheel. He could totally see that happening to him and today had to be perfect. It just had to be. He wouldn’t settle for anything less.

With every minute he came closer to Even’s house, he felt more and more like he was about to throw up. It kind of felt like what he assumed preparing for his final exams would feel like. He would either pass or fail; he would either impress or disappoint. He only had one shot at this.

He held up the flowers as he rang the doorbell, moving back and forth on his feet as he tried to take slow, calm breaths. Breathe in, breathe out. In through the nose, out through the mouth. His heart was in his throat and he worried they would be able to see it beating against his skin like in one of those cartoons.

One of his legs had started to tremble and he placed a hand on it to calm it down as he waited for the door to open. It felt like it took forever, but when it finally did, all of his nervous ticks faded momentarily as Even appeared, all smiles and happiness, "hey."

Isak smiled back, his tongue darting out to lick his lips briefly. His boyfriend took him in, eyes trailing down and back up, and then he stepped closer to hold his face in his hands and kiss him. Like always Isak fell right into it, but these kisses were too short to match with how intense they were. His heart was back to the quick pitter-pattering that it had done before, but now for a slightly different reason.

"You look hot," Even grinned, wrinkles around his eyes, clearly enjoying the way Isak was fidgeting so much, obviously looking uneasy. "Thanks," he replied awkwardly, staring into Even’s eyes and his boyfriend raised his eyebrows as he opened the door further, "don't be so worried, it will all be fine." Even knew. Of course he fucking knew. Even could read him better than he wanted him to.


	49. Lørdag 11:38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even’s mother gasped at that and for a moment Isak worried maybe he had just insulted her, but then she sat up straighter and gushed, “what did he do?!” Even, who knew he had dug a hole for himself, groaned and threw his head back against the couch, “no. No, I’m leaving, I should have never agreed to this, you’re both just doing this to annoy me and to-“ but Isak spoke over him, “he tried to get my attention by pulling out all the tissue paper left in the bathroom we were in.”  
> \---  
> Or, Isak meets Even's mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe tomorrow will be the last part of this fic, ahhhhh.  
> After that I'll be probably taking a short break from writing to revive a bit and then I'll get to work on the extras.  
> \---  
> Anyway, I want to take a moment to address something that has been bothering me today: the comments on Henrik's pictures with Lea.  
> I really hope none of my readers posted anything negative there, because honestly we don't deserve someone as kind as Henrik and those comments are making damn sure he could snap out of it real quick. Henrik doesn't owe us anything, he's been nothing but sweet to his fans but is now getting judged for dating a girl. Henrik can date who he wants to date. Henrik is not Even and therefore is not gay and/or dating Isak/Tarjei. Respect is a key word for this type of situations and people seriously need to see that Skam is a FICTION show, not a reality show.  
> SKAM IS NOT REAL NO MATTER HOW REAL IT LOOKS.
> 
> End of rant. Enjoy the chapter! Tomorrow will be the end....

Isak handed the flowers to Even before he took off his coat and then his shoes, being as polite as he could be, and then he followed Even into the living room. A woman was sitting on the couch, one leg pulled beneath the other as she watched some TV. When she looked up at him, Isak could pinpoint exactly which traits Even had gotten thanks to her. They looked a lot alike, which he decided to compliment, "good morning, I can definitely tell you're Even's mother." He handed her the flowers, "I uh- I brought a little gift as a thank you for lunch." 

She watched him and smiled, "oh dear, that's sweet of you.” She looked slightly uncomfortable and Isak worried he had made a mistake. She cleared her throat, “uhm.. I'm not Even's mother though. Didn't he tell you?” She paused and Isak felt like he was missing out on something. “Even- well he was adopted,” she said then.

Isak blinked and stared at her for a moment, feeling absolutely mortified, but then a smile cracked on her face and Isak could hear Even chuckle. It was a joke. Just a joke. So they had the same sense of humour too. Even with his aluminium leg and his mother with an adoption joke.

"Oh, hah," he laughed and he watched as Even's mother now smelled the flowers, closing her eyes as she held them to her nose. Then she smiled brightly at him, a smile that matched Even’s, "thank you, these are lovely." Isak glanced at Even and saw his boyfriend wink at him, and Even was awful at winking but still it made a blush spread on his cheeks. So far so good he supposed. Nothing had gone terribly wrong… Yet.

Isak sat down as Even’s mom told him to make himself comfortable and Even flopped down next to him on the couch, now sitting where his mom used to be. "So, Isak. Coffee, tea? Or something else?" Even's mother asked from the doorway, her fingers tapping against the wood. Isak forced a smile as he replied, "coffee, please. Black is okay." He wanted to avoid the whole discussion about how much milk or sugar he wanted. Anything to avoid awkwardness.

She left and Even leaned in to kiss him again, half leaning in his lap "I missed you." Isak chuckled, "what? We were only apart for a few hours?" it almost turned into a question, as if it was a strange comment that Even was making and Isak had to ask for clarification. Even wriggled his eyebrows and licked his lips briefly, "still too long, my love." Isak rolled his eyes but took Even's hand instead of dropping it in his lap uselessly. 

"I made cake," Even's mother piped in when she returned to the living room and Isak looked up as she walked in with a tray with drinks and cake. Isak noticed her looking at their joined hands as she set down the tray, and Isak had a brief moment where he panicked and almost pulled away out of fear of judgement, but he felt Even's grip tighten.  

"I hope you like chocolate," She went on like she hadn't noticed anything. But she knew right? This wasn't about Even coming out of the closet, this was Even introducing him as his boyfriend. He doubted for a moment though, because he had never really heard Even talk about what his parents thought of that. He tried to push the thoughts away and he nodded, "yes, I do." 

She handed him a plate with cake and set his coffee on the table, "good. I'm glad I got that right. I asked for Even's help with lunch so he must can be held accountable if you don't like any of it." This made Isak turn his head to look at Even in surprise and as he did he laughed, forcing himself to calm down a little.

So far Even's mother seemed quite relaxed and chill, so it didn't feel as nerve-wracking as he had imagined. "So is he making ‘everything’ again? Or did he actually settle on something this time?" Isak joked and Even poked his side, almost sounding a little childlike, "hey, why are you all making fun of me now?"

"Is that an actual question?" Even's mother asked, sounding amused, "you're my son so I get to make fun of you at all times. And well, the same goes for your boyfriend." So she did know about them. Isak’s shoulders fell down in relief while Even raised his eyebrows, "great. So, I'm never doing this again, that's for sure." 

Even's mother shared a smile with Isak and the heavy feeling that had been pushing on him lifted some more. He took a bite of the cake and complimented her on it, watching pride on her face as she thanked him for it. Even however, the little shit, cleared his throat and mumbled into his fist, "suck up." This made Isak take his hand back from Even's grip and he flicked Even’s ear, "shut. up." 

He decided not to pay attention to his boyfriend anymore, but focus his attention on Even’s mother instead. She was picking at her cake when she asked, "so, Isak. Tell me a bit about yourself? I won't fire questions at you, or at least I’ll try not to, but I do want to get to know you a little bit. I only know the things Even kept gushing about you."

"Mom,” Even warned, “he just sat down.” Isak appreciated how his boyfriend took his side, knowing he was nervous. This he could do though, he could talk about himself a little. 

"Well," he started, "I'm in my second year right now, I’m from 99', met Even through kosegruppa and... I don't really have any hobbies apart from hanging out with my friends and now hanging out with Even too." He kept a watchful eye on Even's mother, but she did nothing but nod at him. “Uh, and I live in a shared apartment with three of my friends, because my parents may or may not be getting a divorce. It’s complicated and nothing is really sure yet, so. Anyway it was quite strange at home so I moved out.”

"Really? I’m sorry to hear that, I hope you’re okay with things, and I hope you like living on your own,” Even’s mother smiled carefully, like she didn’t want to say anything inappropriate either, and Isak nodded, feeling appreciative of her thoughtfulness.

“Well, you got my son to fall for you, so good job. I know just how picky he is about the people he likes, which is why he only had one relationship before," she said next, clearly deciding to keep things light by switching back to teasing her son, and Even seemed annoyed by that, "mom, for real. You don't start about someone's ex. Please." Of course she didn’t know how touchy the subject of Sonja was.

She held up her hands, "all right, all right, I'll shut up. You just talk then and I'll listen." Even looked at Isak for a moment, as if he was making up his mind, and then he was the one who started talking, “I’ve liked Isak since the start of the year, actually. Since the very first day. Cheese toasties are our thing now, I got him to like the same music as me and I am better at video games. Isak is a very caring person but he also tries to act cool while I look right through that. He still has a lot to learn, but I can teach him.”

Isak was quite impressed with how easily Even said all of that, like he didn’t even need to think of how he would describe Isak. It was almost as if Even was just saying it to Isak without thinking about how his mother was right there. He was still making fun of him instead of being really serious about it, which Isak knew was typical for Even to do, but he wished he would be as open about their love when talking to his mother as he was with Isak when they were alone.

Isak snorted, trying not to show what was going on in his mind, “really now? You look right through that? As if I didn’t look right through your Arctic Monkeys appearance to see the nerd that was right underneath,” he cocked an eyebrow, “I really hope it wasn’t your mother who taught you how to flirt. At least I don’t think she did, otherwise maybe she wouldn’t be married now and she wouldn’t have you.”

Even’s mother gasped at that and for a moment Isak worried maybe he had just insulted her, but then she sat up straighter and gushed, “what did he do?!” Even, who knew he had dug a hole for himself, groaned and threw his head back against the couch, “no. No, I’m leaving, I should have never agreed to this, you’re both just doing this to annoy me and to-“ but Isak spoke over him, “he tried to get my attention by pulling out all the tissue paper left in the bathroom we were in.”

A loud snort filled the room and Isak realised it had been Even’s mom, “and you’re dating him? That is hilarious! Even, honey, you should have told me, I could have given you advice.” Even pushed himself up from the couch and huffed as he started walking to the kitchen, “I’m going to get started on lunch.”

Isak stared at Even’s mother in shock, feeling the laughter fade away instantly. Had they really made him angry? But Even’s mother smiled and nudged her head towards the door once Even had disappeared, “go, chase mister grumpy.” Isak returned the smile and got up too, following to the kitchen to see Even was already working on whatever he was making for lunch. It seemed like some soup was boiling on the stove and Even was making something with slices of bread.

“Even?” Isak asked and he swallowed as he waited for a reply. It didn’t come. “Baby?” he asked then instead as he leaned against the fridge and watched Even’s back, “are you really that annoyed with us?” Even didn’t speak up or move around, it was almost as if his boyfriend hadn’t even heard him come in.

Isak couldn’t believe it. Even, who always teased him and teased others even more, was now hurt because of a few jokes.

“Really? You’re really annoyed? But… I’m not nervous anymore, not at all, and I think she likes me. So, isn’t that worth it?” He asked then, trying to see the positive sides of this situation. And then Even finally swirled around, staring at him intently with a cheese grater in his hands.

Isak looked up at it and frowned as he was about to open his mouth, but Even asked him, “Caribbean Jerk BBQ?”

Isak blinked, his mouth hanging open a little, and worried only slightly about why Even was ignoring his questions. He didn’t look as upset as Isak had thought he would be. Instead he was referring to their first time in that kitchen. To the cheese toasties.

Even was still staring at Isak, waiting for a reply, and Isak said, “Caribbean Jerk sounds… perfect.”

His boyfriend finally smiled at him and he turned back to the kitchen counter, getting to work with the cheese grater. Isak waited another moment before he walked up to him and dared to wrap his arms around Even’s waist from behind as his boyfriend worked.

He wished he could properly hook his chin over Even’s shoulder, but he had to tiptoe to really do so. Still, he glanced over Even’s shoulder as he did and he was surprised to see actual cheese toasties being prepared. “You’re serving that again? For real? They were awful,” Isak frowned.

He could actually feel Even shake with laughter, ould feel it bubble through him, “they really weren’t _that_ bad.” Isak groaned, “god, Even, you suck. They were, they were absolutely terrible,” he whined and Even tipped his head back and laughed out loud this time. “Don’t worry,” he hummed, “I’m not putting on as many spices as last time. I don’t have to woo you with awful things anymore.”

Even was joking about it now, about the things he had been making fun of with his mom, which showed Isak that he really hadn’t been that serious before. He pressed a kiss to Even’s neck before he let go, “can I do anything? Set the table or something?” and Even shook his head, “no, mom already did that. You could watch the soup, though. It’s my mother’s signature soup. Tomato soup with rømme.”

Isak raised the lid and inhaled so he could smell the soup. It was mouth-watering and made his stomach growl. He only now realised that he hadn’t had breakfast that morning, because Even had kept kissing him until it was too late to do anything but get ready to leave. He had been too nervous to eat anyway.

Even put more spices onto the toasties and he cleared his throat, “she really does like you, I can tell. She’s joking around with you like she’s known you for years.” This made Isak raise an eyebrow, “yeah? Or are you just fucking with me? You know that’s not something to joke about as payback for my own jokes, right?”

Even shook his head, “no, I’m not lying. It’s true, she likes you.” Isak felt a blush creep up, as if he was supposed to be ashamed about it. He wasn’t, he was actually really happy.


	50. Lørdag 14:02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even touched him like he understood all of that, as if he was in Isak’s mind with him and was realising the exact same things. The rushed passion they had both felt at the hotel was now twisted into some deeper form of desire. Isak craved being close to him not just to get off and make Even moan his name, although those too, definitely those too, but he mostly craved being close to him to make him feel exactly what was going on inside of him.  
> \---  
> Or, Isak and his Even

Lunch was chill, the food being quite nice, even the cheese toasties Even had made didn’t taste like shit this time. Putting on less spices was exactly what it had needed to not taste so damn awful. Isak felt like he had been here countless times already, feeling at home as Even’s mother talked to him without really stopping, only pausing to eat her food. There was never silence and hardly ever a time where none of them were laughing, although they did stick to small talk now, and sometimes Even’s mother added in a few questions about him.

Once they had finished eating and they were running out of topics to talk about, Even’s mother cleared her throat. “Even, can you get us all some ice cream? It’s a special occasion, so add some whipped cream and sprinkles, okay?” She asked her son and Even got up with slightly narrowed eyes, like he didn’t trust her alone with Isak, but he left nonetheless.

And well, turned out he had reason to act that way, because the second Even had disappeared, Even’s mother moved her chair to sit closer to him. She reached out to take Isak’s hand, which instantly made things less comfortable than they had been, because Isak didn’t know how to act now. What was she doing?

She leaned in so she could keep her voice down as she spoke, “I wanted to take a moment to thank you, Isak.” Isak blinked rapidly, trying to think of what she was thanking him for, but she filled that in herself, “I’m very grateful for the way you took him in last week. I don’t want you to think I take it for granted or that I don’t care about what my son does. I do care, I care a lot actually, but he’s a free spirit and won’t let us decide what is best for him.”

Isak could really understand what she meant with that and he gave a nod, “it’s okay, I thought you were actually doing what was best for him by letting him decide for himself, so I wasn’t judging you at all. And I’m thankful you let him stay, because I feel like we got so much closer this past week,” he told her honestly, “I think he trusts me more now and I hope he really believes me when I say I want to be there for him no matter what.”

Even’s mother looked at him so lovingly that Isak felt a little out of place. She patted Isak’s hand after letting go of it, “you’re a good boy, I can tell. You’ll be good for him.” She let her head rest on her hands, elbows on the table, and smiled at him, “just know that if ever you don’t know how to deal with him or with his disorder you can always come talk to me.”

It felt good to get that reassurance, to hear that if he needed help then Even’s mother would be there for him. That really had to mean she supported their relationship. But then again he should have known that already. Of course she would support them. Even was her son, all she probably wanted was for him to be happy.

She must feel relieved that he was looking much better already. Right now Even was so much like his old self, he seemed to be back up on his feet. Isak just hoped it wouldn’t lead to a hard fall again so soon. No one could tell, though, no one but time.

“Thank you,” Isak said, sounding like it was only out of politeness, but he really meant it, “really.” He felt a lot less troubled now he had heard her say those words. It wasn’t as if he had thought she didn’t like him, but hearing her say it out loud without Even near to hear her, that showed how much she meant it.

“Hey, don’t tell me you’re stealing my boyfriend,” Even teased as he walked back in with three honest-to-god sorbet cups filled with ice cream. His mother pushed her chair back, creating more space between her and Isak and she held up her hands in surrender, “you caught me. I was definitely trying to steal your boyfriend. You shouldn’t have praised him so much, that was your downfall.”

Even snorted as he sat down and he looked at Isak, one side of his mouth quirking up in a half grin, “alright, you can have him. You were the one who got him for me anyway, right?”

This led to a confused look on his mother’s face and Isak having to explain the joke he had made the day before, “I told him that I was only his boyfriend because you paid me 500 kroner a week. That I found this advertisement and- yeah, it was just a stupid joke, but I know he’s going to keep bringing it up,” Isak scratched behind his ear and watched Even’s amused grin.

“Well,” Even’s mother tipped her head to the side, “it’s okay. I guess our cover got blown, we don’t need to hide anymore. Son, truly, I’m sorry but Isak was right. I did pay him to be with you.” Isak could see the shocked look on Even’s face as he believed her, but only for a moment, “but it was only a cover up for our relationship. You’re truly so smart to have figured this out, and Isak, I’m sorry but it is over. I guess you understand I can’t be with someone who is stupid enough to share that information.”

And just like that Even’s grin was back and it was Isak who became victim of their jokes. He kicked Even’s shin under the table, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows an awful lot. Their jokes weren’t mean, but Isak pretended to be butt hurt, huffing at them as they ate.

Once the jokes finally stopped and they had finished their ice cream, Even excused them both and took Isak to his room for some alone time. Even took a moment to turn on the radio and open the window before he took Isak’s hands and dragged him to the couch underneath his bed. They flopped down together and Even turned his body towards Isak, still holding on to his hand, “well, I’d say that went really well. We can start planning our wedding now,”

Isak raised his eyebrows and chuckled, “oh, so that was her giving her blessing?” he joked and Even hummed and nodded as he kicked up his legs on the edge of the couch before he slowly lowered his upper body so he could lay down with his head in Isak’s lap. Isak had to move slightly for them to fit, with Even being a giant and all, but it made Even smile up at him so brightly it was worth it.

"Our wedding? You're still thinking of that?" Isak questioned as he kept his eyes on his boyfriend, making sure he hadn’t gone too far with this comment. After all Even had first talked about ‘their wedding’ on the night things had gone to shit.

Even however, didn’t seem bothered, he was nodding up at Isak, his hair flopping back and forth as his head moved and Isak laughed. "Why wouldn't I be?" his boyfriend went on, a serious question to counter Isak’s laughter.

Isak shrugged, thinking of arguments, "well, I don't know, maybe because we haven't been dating for long and aren't the regular couple either?" His suggestion made Even's eyes widen, "what?! My god, Isak, your reasoning sucks. Honestly, the fact that we're not a regular couple is what makes us work so well. Besides, you really think other couples don't have their own issues?" 

Isak shrugged, "maybe they do, I don’t know. Okay, but still, when you take that argument away… It doesn’t change the fact that we haven't been together for long. Why would you even be thinking about marriage this early on?"

His boyfriend was silent for a moment, not because he didn’t know how to answer, but because he was looking for the words to explain it. His reply made it sound like this was the most normal thing in the world, talking about marriage after only weeks of being involved with each other.

"Well," Even said truthfully, "isn't that the point of a relationship? You wouldn't be in it if you weren't serious about each other. Why would you be with someone if you know you're only going to break up with them in the future? Aren't you in it for the long run?" 

Isak frowned, his thoughts instantly shifting and he knew he should probably not focus on what his brain was screaming at him, but he couldn’t help it. "Oh," he muttered, "does that mean you pictured marrying Sonja once?" Once the words were out he immediately regretted uttering them at all.

Even stared up at him, at his face, trying to interpret what emotions lay behind his words, "I don't want to talk about her any more than necessary, Isak, but yes. Yes, once I thought that I would marry her, because I once loved her." Isak knew that, he knew he was just being jealous, so he nodded and decided to let it slip, "okay." 

They were quiet for a while, while Even tried to read him, and nothing really happened apart from Isak's fingers carding through Even's hair. Eventually Even cleared his throat and asked him, "what do you see, when you think of our wedding?" 

Isak felt like brushing it off, because he thought it was much too soon to think about such things. He didn’t want to have those thoughts. If he had them, if he came up with a vision, those thoughts would haunt him if they would ever break up. Not that he thought they would, he didn’t want to think about that, but he had to be realistic. They were only teenagers, he couldn’t tell what time would make them go through.

But he’d do anything for Even at this point in their relationship and so he tried to imagine what it would be like to marry Even. He could already see himself on a sunny day in spring, dressed in a black suit with a red rose pinned to it, looking very traditional. Even would probably wear white, because he was so out of the box and different, but he would outshine Isak even if he decided to wear black as well.

He could picture the huge smile on Even’s face after turning around and seeing Isak for the first time. The way he would clearly try to fuck up all the rules of a traditional wedding by demanding they would skip the whole ceremony and just go on their damn honeymoon already. Or maybe he’d wait until right after the ceremony, making sure they were officially married, before lifting Isak up in his arms and driving them to the airport instead of to their reception, leaving all their friends to party on their own.

But if they were to go to their reception, Even would without a doubt turn it into one big cliché. He would love Isak so openly and so unconditionally that he’d embarrass him in front of everyone. That was the one thing Isak was absolutely sure of.

And of course Even would make a movie with their cheesiest moments played out by dolls, like the first video Isak saw of him as a director. He would show them everything: from the swimming pool kiss, to their night at the hotel, to their dramatic reunion in the school yard. He could almost hear him tell out their story, making jokes like he always did, no matter how serious the matter was.

And fuck, okay, fuck. Isak was getting too into this. Even had taken one of his hands and was softly locking and unlocking their fingers, aware that Isak was lost in thought now. It pulled him out of the daydream and he blinked the thoughts away before looking down to see Even’s smug little smile. “So, what were you envisioning?” His boyfriend asked, his voice soft and curious.

Isak swallowed down the love he was feeling, scared he wouldn’t be able to hold it back long enough to speak. “You were being a dick, as usual, but a cute dick” Isak admitted and Even rolled his eyes as he replied, laughter ringing through in his voice, “you know, that is giving me very different ideas and visuals than you probably want me to have.”

Isak laughed along with him and shook his head, leaning over before he could stop himself and he kissed Even clumsily. It was a weird kiss, with Even laying sideways, but Isak didn’t really care. Even didn’t either, for he smiled against his lips, trying to twist his head so the kiss was a bit better.

Their noses brushed together once they broke apart for air and Isak closed his eyes and sighed, “Alright, fine you win. I just- I just see us very happy, alright? It would be a day full of love, full of celebrating everything we have conquered together by then.”

Even didn’t laugh and he didn’t make fun of him either, like Isak had expected him to. Instead he dragged Isak back down again, their mouths crashing together in a kiss that was definitely not as soft and sweet as the previous one had been. Even was demanding more, kissing harder and his fingers pressing into the back of his neck. Isak knew what this would lead to. “Even, your mom is literally one room away.”

Even groaned, clearly annoyed that Isak had broken the kiss by talking and he pushed himself up so he could take more control of the situation. Isak sat back as his boyfriend’s long legs swung around and he did some sort of half roll that was too weird to process. And then Even was settling on his lap, knees on either side of Isak’s hips, and their lips locked again.

Isak placed his hands on Even’s hips, not to touch him but to make sure that he wouldn’t roll his hips against Isak’s. He held them to make sure his boyfriend wouldn’t do anything else that would make leaving this room without a boner impossible.

Even was trying really hard to make sure exactly that would happen, though. His boyfriend had kissed a trail down Isak’s jaw and was now leaving open mouthed kisses against his neck. One of his hands crept up underneath Isak’s shirt and Isak, well Isak was running out of ways to stop him. The part of his brain that was still resisting was slowly getting fuzzy and was losing its power very, very quickly.

Isak had never thought he would ever be thankful for Gabrielle, but life kept surprising him. Even stopped moving, his ears picking up on the song on the radio, and he pulled back to look at Isak’s face, his eyes wide and lips dark red and puffy.

“Å vi trenger ikke verden, for meg og deg e verden, vi trenger ikke verden, for meg og deg e verden,” Gabrielle sang and Even stared at Isak in shock, like this really didn’t just happen, and Isak knew that Even would take this as some sort of sign.

The fact that that song, a song that was so important to them, that had led to confessions and so much more after that, was playing right now on this important day. Isak took it as a sign too.

Even’s hands were on his shoulders and they simply stared at each other as Gabrielle sang on. Isak realised many things at once, but they all led to the same thing: love. Since that day in Isak’s kitchen they had changed so much that he wasn’t sure if they were really still the same people. They had loved each other and hurt each other and then loved each other more.

They had survived all of _that_ and now they were there, sitting in Even’s room so close to each other, making out shamelessly with Gabrielle in the background to remind them of everything that had happened. Everything they had conquered and survived.

Even’s smile softened, like he was thinking of the same things, and Isak swallowed as he remembered the night before. Isak had confessed for the first time while Even had said the words out loud instead of texting them, and now Isak found himself daring to say it again.

He pressed their foreheads together, “I love you, Even.” It sounded so strange to his own ears, like they were words that didn’t fit him, but Even wouldn’t give him the time to take them back, “my Isak..” he whispered in return, his hands cupping Isak’s face, making him look up at him before he sang along to the song, “Du får meg til å kjøre meg opp, Det e ingenting som kan kjøre meg ned.” It lacked his usual smile, his usual playfulness, but that only made shivers run down Isak’s spine, because Even meant them.

So Isak met his gaze, kept it proudly as he sang along with his boyfriend, “D e ingen andre eg heller gjør det her med.” Even broke off the next line by kissing him again, but this time Isak didn’t struggle and he didn’t resist the kisses either. Screw it, screw the fact that they weren’t alone in the house. It wasn’t like they had been alone in the apartment either.

“You seriously need to stop thinking about my mom,” Even mumbled against Isak’s lips, reading him so perfectly, and Isak bit at Even’s lip to make him shut up. He forced his mind to turn off and to focus on the way Even was coaxing him closer, the way he had so cleverly gotten Isak’s hands away from his hips so he could move against him.

Even however wasn’t really pleased with how little room they had on the couch and he grunted as he forced himself to break apart. He got off his boyfriend’s lap and tugged at the collar of Isak’s shirt, “get rid of that and climb into my bed,” he ordered before he let go and walked up to the door.

Isak didn’t have to be told twice. He tore at the buttons of his shirt as he watched Even open the door slightly. He was clearly listening to hear if anyone was there. Isak stayed quiet as he got off his shirt and he threw it on the couch as he stood up. He decided it would be easiest to get rid of his jeans there too instead of having to wriggle out of them on the bed.

Even closed the door and locked it behind him before turning to Isak. When he did he let his eyes trail up and down and then kicked back into motion, tugging off his own shirt while Isak got rid of his jeans. Even moved around the room and Isak watched him throw a pack of condoms on the bed and, well, that left no room for interpretation.

Isak climbed halfway up the stairs that led to Even’s bed and then he paused, leaning against the steps. Even watched him too, finally smiling now, like he was a little overwhelmed with their actions, and now it was Isak who was being desperate, trying to make Even hurry by whining his name.

Even fumbled with his own jeans and he almost stumbled as he kicked them off, but then he came up to Isak, climbing up the steps until they could share a kiss. Isak was too afraid he would fall off though, and the way the wood was pressing against his back wasn’t really comfortable either so he whimpered against Even lips and told him, “patience.”

His boyfriend gave him space so he could crawl on the bed, but he had barely settled on the covers, turning to lie on his back, when Even was already hanging over him and kissing him once more. And Isak let him, because his heart was so full of love. His heart was full of love, his hands filled with the want and need to touch and his brain swimming in desperation. He was so fucking lost in Even, so far gone.

And Even took care of him like he had always done, never pushing him too far, but never letting himself hold back either. They both gave and took as good as they got, which to Isak showed how much they cared for each other. It was what made them a good fit. The constant push and pull between them, always ending with the two of them together, bodies aligned.

He could get used to this, and with that he didn’t mean the way Even was seductively leaving a very teasing trail of kisses down his body, although he could get used to that too. No, he could get used to being like this with Even. From being there for him in his darkest hours, to being geeks together as they play games or talk about movies, to coming over for lunch with his mom, and much, much more.

Even touched him like he understood all of that, as if he was in Isak’s mind with him and was realising the exact same things. The rushed passion they had both felt at the hotel was now twisted into some deeper form of desire. Isak craved being close to him not just to get off and make Even moan his name, although those too, definitely those too, but he mostly craved being close to him to make him feel exactly what was going on inside of him.

To make him feel how one day, so many weeks and so many emotions ago, Isak had fallen in love in exactly the same room. He had fallen so hard and so fast and he still felt like he was. He was still falling endlessly, feeling so damn blessed to have Even by his side. No matter the downfalls, he was glad it was him.

“I love you too,” Even finally returned the words, sounding out of breath already as he started moving on top of Isak, looking like an angel as he hung over him. And Isak let it all go, everything that was either holding him back or making him get lost in his thoughts. He let it go.

Even was kissing him, Even loved him, Even was all right. They were okay. They were actually much better than okay. The thought of Even leaving for college briefly popped up, but he pushed it away. They would cross that bridge when they got to it. For now all he had to do was think about being in that moment with his boyfriend. Take it one day at a time, or one minute at a time. Whatever they needed to get by, Isak would fight for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END. Slutten. Het einde.
> 
> That was it for Untold Scenes of Isak and his Even.  
> I cannot believe everything that has happened with this fic. The way it blew up, the fact that it has 2600 kudos, the love you have all given me throughout. I will never forget this, honestly.  
> I don't think I'll ever experience anything like this ever again. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for your kindness, for your sweet comments, for the way you kept me going. I hope I gave you joy through these dark times without skam and I wish I could have dragged this out till the trailer, but it's enough for now.  
> I am happy with the way this ended and I will continue to write whenever I feel like it.  
> Tussen takk. For all.
> 
> With love,  
> Dyanne


End file.
